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PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

HH, I don't think that my nephew's issues came from how he was treated before 6 years of age, I think his issues are the product of my sister's continuation in treating him the same way SINCE he was 6 years old. Not including the fact that she hovers over him protecting him like a hawk, but anytime he acts out, she is the first to defend him as "being curious" or explaining that "boys will be boys". This is no longer a 5 or 6 year old just learning the world... he is 11.
For the record, that sister also has a daughter that is 3 years older than the nephew. She is not missing the social skills to the extent that her brother is, BUT, she does have some very low self esteem that I somewhat blame my sister for, since my sister will talk about my niece's appearance/*child bearing hips*, right in front of her. The daughter is 13!

There are HUGE perks to being the youngest child, and I am very grateful that I can see the outcome of her actions first hand, before raising my own. Lucikly, I also have a sister that is in the running for mom of the decade, and it is beneficial to me to see how each of their styles have drastically changed their children's lives.

Lulu, thanks! Glad to hear that it is only a part-time issue now!

Mandy- We miss you around here, but there is no way any of us expect you to pop in and out like you used to be able to! That would be crazy! And add me to the group that wants to see updated pics of your guys!

Mara, I know what you mean. As parents, we can't know... however, I do think it is our responsibility to notice the cues, once they are older, and get them the help they need if problems arise. C hates being in the car and screams bloody murder everytime we go somewhere... if that was an indication of future problem solving skills, I would have him commited... well, probably a month ago!

Kim, I'm sorry about the napping issues. I guess this issue is going around today: My neighbor's car alarm went off 3 times in a row, for at least 5 minutes each time, right as I laid C down in his PNP. The only nap he takes without me holding him, and he was woken up first after being asleep for 5 minutes, and then again after going back to sleep for another 10. So frustrating.
My biggest pet peeve is people ringing our door bell though. Anyone have tricks in order to avoid that?

ETA:
Vesper, Thank you!
Jcrow- Glad to hear the appointment went well! How did pictures go this morning? Re: the jumperoo, I put a pillow undermeath and my sister used her Wiifit board on top of a blanket. lol. Whatever works!
 
hi mommies...i know i don't post here much.

things are crazy, kid is 7.5 months and pulling up on everything. he's been crawling for awhile now so i have my hands full.

ginger i am so so sorry to hear about your BM.

mty we took N to disneyland last month and he really loved it, just looking around at everything and watching all the parades and shows. he loved it's a small world. we went cause my older son wanted to go, but didn't expect N to react so well to it. we're actually going back in a few weeks. we all love disneyland.

take care mommies!!!
 
puffy said:
mty we took N to disneyland last month and he really loved it, just looking around at everything and watching all the parades and shows. he loved it's a small world. we went cause my older son wanted to go, but didn't expect N to react so well to it. we're actually going back in a few weeks. we all love disneyland.

take care mommies!!!
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Puffy, I took mine at 2 months and he loved It's a Small World too! Ditto on the parades at night... C loved the bright lights and songs!
 
Phoenixgirl, Claire has the most beautiful eyelashes!
 
such a pretty one that claire :love: :love:
 
Meresal I definitely see what you're saying and it makes sense. Stepsis definitely does still encourage the co-dependency with him even now that he's older. She tried homeschooling but her husband insisted on sending him to public school for the social interaction. Other than that he's at home ALL THE TIME! He plays no sports and has no friends outside of his brother and sister. They essentially live in a bubble and she's very neurotic about outside influences on their lives, illness, etc. It's pretty odd, I don't know where she got it from because the rest of the family is totally normal and well adjusted. She just has boundary issues I guess.


I love Claire's eyelashes. I'm jealous.
 
Mara, it was 11 in the morning, too early for wine, but I'll have a glass after Jane goes to bed. I'm just snippy today too. It's very unusual for me to be grumpy, and I recovered quickly. Her naps are really consistent, have been for months, and she was so overtired she was freaking out.

HH, my tongue was firmly planted in my cheek, but probably not obviously so, especially considering the rant that followed. I totally understand what you were saying, and that those things can lead to an unhealthy relationship between parent and child, just as a parent who is too distant can be bad. There's a happy medium in there somewhere.

Phoenix, so annoying! As I mentioned above, it is rare that I'm in a bad mood, this morning was just a series of frustrating events (including a stupid spat with my husband) and the gardener sent me over the edge. They are not at all friendly, so I won't approach them, I think I'll just have J nap in our room from now on, it's the only bedroom that isn't on the wall that attaches our yard to the neighbors. We share a side yard -- but the neighbor uses it for his dog run so he provides maintenance -- which is where her room is and why she always hears them. We have postage stamps here, too. They mow once and week and use the blower (I hate blowers, all they do is push the stuff around and off into the street and other peoples' yards, such a dumb tool!).

***

Despite the lack of naps she was great and the visit was nice. My cousin's son has been itching to meet baby, so they came to visit and we had a picnic in the park and went for a walk and it was a pleasant time. J is sound asleep now.
 
Oh Ginger that just sucks! so so sorry.

Love Claire's lashes and coy look!
 
lol thanks ladies! I got a little sad/happy last nite, I was thinking of how much J has grown. They grow up so damn fast! She is 6 months now. Crazy. I love my little honey bee.

Fiery- hehe...Sophia is such a cutie.

weird nephews. I am with you guys on that one. We had him over to meet her for the first time and he kept on wanting to sit next to her and was kicking his legs up all the time. Almost kicking her head! I started to get pissed off cuz he was acting like a 2 year old. He is 7!

***I will take your advice ladies in regards to taking J to disney. Yay! Can't wait! :appl:

phoneixg-LOL..yeah, I was the same too. I was never into kiddie stuff til J came along. I am going all out. I am going to wear a fushia colored minnie mouse top and my mom will wear a mickey top. (So, that we won't get lost!) :lol:

Tomorrow, is my birthday. This birthday is special for two reasons. J is with me and I have a new appreciation and meaning for my mom, because I can only imagine what she went thru while giving birth to me. She tells me that they had to "put her under" and then woke up hours later to meet me. I would've been :errrr: Crazy how all these feelings come about when you experience something like this yourself. :bigsmile:
 
Thanks for understanding!

So let's see...for those of you that saw the pics on FB, the "messy playdate" was my idea! (I know, genius, right? haha!). Basically I invited about 5 moms and I asked everyone to bring something "messy", a swim diaper, a towel and their cameras!. I bought a large painter's tarp and we let the babies have fun!...We then had a dirty inflatable pool to wash off the "stuff" and then a large clean inflatable pool to have some water fun afterwards!. The little ones loved it and I'm definitely doing it again!!!

As far as swaddles (for lulu)...I started swaddle rehab right aroind 4.5 months. Badically they had started to break free and it was freaking me out. My guys were HUGE swaddleholics and it took a good month to break them off the habit. Seriously, I don't know anyone that had such a hard time de-swaddling...so I think my case was extremex2 :D

Boy it's going to be tough to choose one updated picture!!! But I'll just select one from the messy playdate (afterwards in the pool) and one from their nine month shoot...they are 10 months tomorrow!

Here are the BFFs, Alex and Lucas
 
***I will take your advice ladies in regards to taking J to disney. Yay! Can't wait! :appl:

phoneixg-LOL..yeah, I was the same too. I was never into kiddie stuff til J came along. I am going all out. I am going to wear a fushia colored minnie mouse top and my mom will wear a mickey top. (So, that we won't get lost!) :lol:


All I'm going to say is ETSY and Disney Baby search! I have about 20 things on my "Favorites" page at Etsy to order before we go to DisneyWorld! They have some super adorable stuff, especially for little girls!

I hope you have a great birthday tomorrow! I have a friend that sends his MOM flowers on his own birthday every year, to show her how much he appreciates what she went thru to raise him. I definitely know what you mean.
 
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I hate new PS....going back to review the posts is just a total PITA having to scroll left to right. Boo. So, I'm just going to go by memory. Sorry!

China~Yay for the next flex schedule! I hope it continues to work out for you!!

Mara~I hope your work stuff works out too. And, I think it's perfectly normal to worry about how your kid turns out. And as a matter of fact I think it's what makes a good parent....little rant ahead.... but I just have been around too many people having kids because it's what is "socially acceptable" (you know the whole 2 kids and a dog because that's just what people do...seriously ridiculous) or teens having kids because it's the "in" :rolleyes: thing to do. Good parents have kids because they want to parent. They want to raise a good person, a good member of society. They are willing to put their kids needs ahead of their own to do so. All this teacher crabby rambling to say, yea I worry about that too. :bigsmile:

Kim~Sorry about your crabby morning. Glad J had a good outing.

viz~Poor C!! I hope he's feeling better!

Phoenix~Gorgeous girl!!

Mtj~Yay for Disney. Make sure you post pics! Happy b-day tomorrow.

Mandarine~Your boys are so stinkin cute. I totally missed those pics on FB so I'm heading to check them out!


So day 1 at daycare was a success. Kade's teacher called me at lunch and I was so worried to answer the phone but she just wanted to let me know how great he was doing!! She said he was adjusting fantastic and is an absolute love bug (which I already knew :rodent: ). Anyway, he had a great day although I had to wake him from his afternoon nap when I got there to pick them up so he was in bed by 6:30 tonight. Tayva didn't nap great either (she never does at daycare) so she was down by 7. Sad I didn't get to see much of my kids but it's kind of nice to have all this time to unwind and get ready to do it all again tomorrow. These days are long and it makes me really appreciate my part time schedule.
 
Mandarine, I just can't get over how cute your twins are. Adorable!
 
Viz- That's a tough call. What are the hours like at the second job?

Mara- Not weird at all, I think about that all the time. I have a family member that had some serious issues once he hit high school that he is just now straightening out and he was the happiest, cutest baby. I look at O sometimes and know that just because he is so happy and so loved, that is no guarantee. It breaks my heart but also reminds me that we can't control anything and all we can do is do our best and cross our fingers. And to enjoy this time while he's still so pure and not yet touched by life's inevitable hearbreaks.

Lulu- I tend to agree in theory. For the most part in law firms, going flex doesn't do anything but reduce your salary. My situation is that I really wasn't looking to go p/t, but I wasn't getting my hours in (due both to not enough work and to me not being able to stay past 6 or so) and it was offered to me. I don't think it's the best career move, but I don't care right now. It's made a world of difference in my happiness and my attitude. The pay cut sucks and I have issues with it for a variety of reasons. BUT I figured, I knew I was miserable WITH the extra money, so why not see if we can survive on less money. I also write, but obviously have had little time to focus on that lately so I am using this time to see how far I can go with it. Eventually if the stars align and we can do it money-wise, I plan to write full-time someday, so the lawyer thing is not my end goal. I have a lot of thought on this issue and have a lot of pros/cons, so if you have any questions or just want to discuss, I'm around.

Mandy- Nice to see you. :wavey: LOVE that idea, totally stealing it. You're a great mom. So creative!
 
Mandarine -- tus nenes son DIVINOS!
 
Mandarine, hi hi! Good to see you! I love your pictures (and the messy party idea), but who is pushing who in that first pic? LOL!

PG, look at those eyelashes, my gosh! They are so beautiful, she's such a little doll.

--------------

I have been researching churches and baptisms because my aunt is a nun and so my family "expects" it and they asked it of me when Micah was born (very nicely, with the option for me to say no, which sure was nice of them lol). My family is Catholic and while I consider myself to be too, I don't go to church so no church will baptize him unless I join their congregation for some time. Forgive me is this is too close to discussing religion, but I hate that the church will not save the soul of my baby just because my butt isn't in one of their pews every Sunday. Grrr.

So we are going to do it ourselves :praise: I'm kind of looking forward to it.
 
MP- I was going to recommend that to you on the "other" site. My college boyfriend was baptized by a friends dad and he really enjoyed it. I think it is very personal and special!

ETA:
Mandy- Your boys are just too much for words! (and I love the playdate idea!)
 
meresal said:
MP- I was going to recommend that to you on the "other" site. My college boyfriend was baptized by a friends dad and he really enjoyed it. I think it is very personal and special!
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I think I like that we can have the minister say exactly what we want that way. I'm really excited now after all my stress about it, and I'm starting to look for little white baby tuxedos :love: Omg, so cute!
 
Cute little tuxedos! Aww...

I dont know how hot it is going to be at the time of your ceremony, but this is what we changed C into after the ceremony. It's a searsucker jon-jon :love: and was so nice in the 100 degree heat! (Still dressy, but still cool for the baby) I bought it on Etsy for $30 (incl monogramming), and paid the extra $15 for the matching bib for memory pupposes.

ETA:
...and then of course the matching shoes I found at Dillard's :bigsmile:

christopherchristeningcelebration872010.jpg
 
Aww love the pics...!! The outfits are so cute.

MP... sometimes you can just pay off the Catholic places to baptize, OR they make you become a member for like a few months before they will do it. I haven't looked into it yet but we are also not part of a church regularly so who knows what will happen.

Mand...yay for a checkin and of course the boys are amazing. I hear ya re stuff becoming too much. I feel kind of overwhelmed lately.

So I have a cold--my first since having the baby--well my first REAL cold where I haven't been able to kick it in like a day. I think J might have had a smidge of it over the wkd but he appeared to kick it fast and now I am the one struggling. It's hard to be a working mom and be sick, it really sucks actually. I also don't want to be breathing all over him which reduces snuggle time. :blackeye:

AND to add insult to injury--AF came AGAIN...so like only 2.5 weeks since last time. I might have to email my OB going WTF? Did anyone else have weird flows for like 4 months after baby?? My first 2 were ok but then the last 2 have been CRAZY. Plus only like 2.5 weeks in between each--is that weird?? I am just over having it so often. AND when sick. Ugh. Super crab today.

So around 6mo do they start to get sneaky? :bigsmile: J has started to wake up more at night but it's not really a wake. He will kind of moan and thrash a bit so we go in and put the paci in and he will immediately roll on side and pretend to sleep. The minute we walk away he turns and looks at us. We can still walk away and he'll roll back over and sleep. He won't fuss or want us to stay. But he does this whole immediate 'fake out' of 'oh ok I'm sleeping' then you go to leave and he's like PSYCH and watches us leave. Is that just him realizing that we're there and he's ok? It's almost like if he sees us he is ok. Or is his little baby brain thinking 'mwahahaha now I have them in my power and they will never attempt CIO'...who knows. He is waking 1-2x a night and that is all he is requiring--otherwise he goes down at 7:30 or 8pm and wakes up at 7 or 7:30am for bottle. I just hope he stays this way and doesn't up it or start getting more demanding. Also he is showing no 'look for paci' inclination yet--lazy little darling!!

and I know I wanted to respond to more people but the combo of mommy brain, work brain and cold brain are conspiring against me. Hope everyone is doing well!!

ETA thanks for the validation that worrying about who J will be isn't totally odd. I know that nothing we do is foolproof... so I guess that is just part of parenthood. Worrying.
 
So, I just need to vent a little, admit some fault and figure out how to deal with some people.

As most of you know, we tried CIO very early with Lily. (I did with JT too and it actually worked in about a day and a half and he was a great sleeper and still is to this day. That success is what encouraged me to try it with Lily, although now I think it was just JT's personality.) Most of the moms in this area are HUGE advocates of CIO including nearly every family member and friend I have. I have a feeling it stems from being farmer's wives, etc and just having to get things done--mixed with "my child sleeps through the night" and not making a baby a "mama's boy/girl." I researched the heck out of HBOTB and implemented some of the advice and have been holding Lily a ton. 90% of the time I let her at least fall asleep in my arms for a good while if not let her take her entire nap in my arms. So, I tried CIO--admittedly a bad idea on my part--and it didn't bring anyone in this house peace or happiness. Now I'm dealing with EVERYONE telling me I'm spoiling Lily and that she'll never learn to sleep on her own, she's never going to be independent, blah blah blah. I am confident in my decisions as a mother but since I don't have any real experience with NOT letting a baby CIO, I'm not sure how to respond to these intrusions---besides, "Bite me." I respect the people who are questioning me and I'd like to show them that this is in fact a good decision. Any advice??

As a side note, my little monster consumed 36oz a day for 2 days! Now she's back down to around 28oz a day. I'm still stunned by how much she can consume.

We had 3 really good nights followed by 2 nearly horrid ones. Fingers crossed for some sleep tonight!

Yay for all the beautiful baby pics, good daycare experiences, sneakiness, wine and vacations! Sorry to those of you who are sick or have sick LOs.

That's all from me for now.
 
SS, since these people sound sort of "set in their ways", I would probably keep your comeback simple and say something like since you have an older son, you have to be mindful of him and his sleep needs and a crying baby would wake him up as well. This is actually one reason I haven't done any CIO since A & E have rooms right next door to each other.
 
Shiny, I would tell them your pedetrician has recommended Lily not be left to cry and then change the subject. If they keep pressing for answers repeat yourself and move on. Or if you feel you must reply tell them CIO advocates, including your pedetrician, state it's not safe to do so until baby is at least four months old.

A personal note, I have no interest in using the "CIO" method and over time Jane has become a much more independent sleeper. She started off only wanting to sleep on or with me. At 5.5 months she is still nursed to sleep, but sleeps in her own crib and can put herself back to sleep on her own without crying and for the last month or so she only wakes once or twice to eat, which is totally manageable in my book. It's taken time and a lot of effort on my part (pick up, put down, over and over and over again) but it's worked for us and I'm pleased with the decision I've made. I focused on one sleep period at a time, starting with getting her in her own bed for the first stint of sleep at night and then once she managed that moving on to the next stint until she was in her bed for the night and then moving on to naps. Now we're very slowly but surely working on self-soothing and we've made definite progress and will just keep working on it until she catches on.

ETA: I believe you can find research to support any theory you'd like, but if it will help SS here's an article about the subject based on information from a study done by two Harvard professors. http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette/199 ... edTou.html
 
SS... I also tried some early CIO with J and it worked on and off but it was probably just a little too early to institute anything. I think I put too much pressure on him and me for a schedule. It seemed like MOST times he really would not just exhaust himself into sleep and then I would think is it really NECESSARY anyway? When for the most part he is fairly easily soothed by just a little attention? So we ended up soothing for most sleeps with the exception of a few here and there.

We did HBOTB stuff with him every bedtime until he was about 10 weeks--this included pretty much getting him into an almost coma or full sleep every time before putting down. It worked like a charm to get him to sleep. Around 10-12 weeks, I started trying to do more of rocking for a few minutes til somewhat soothed, then putting into crib and soothing from there. We rarely picked him up once he was in crib after that point--all soothing was done with him down. He's 6 months now and that is still how it happens but now it's more like bedtime routine, then paci, sleep sack, lovey, sound machine, shhhh'ing while rubbing his third eye and petting his head and then leaving the room. Usually I have to come back in once before he will settle completely to sleep.

So we did the full on coma rock/sleep thing until almost 10 weeks. I think Lily is what... 5-6 weeks now? I really wouldn't worry about her being spoiled by being in your arms this early. I was worried about that too but now in 20/20 hindsight I prob could have rocked or held J a little more before sleep and it would have been fine. I think it's when you are still doing that at 6mo, then still at 8mo/10mo that you could be setting yourself up for a problem in the future--aka 8 months of something is a lot harder of a 'happy habit' for the baby to break than only 3mo of it--I mean who wouldn't want to be rocked to bed by a snuggly Mom every time?!?!

All that to say, that if people want to offer their advice to you about spoiling, I'd say something like...I've already raised one great kid without your help, I am sure I won't have an issue with the 2nd. :naughty: Or maybe something nicer.
 
Steph~ You're right about not wanting to wake JT, so that's a good point to make.

kimi~ Thanks for the link. It's interesting to show the connection between physical contact and future relationships, etc. It makes sense. In my family, there was always limited physical attention and to this day I cringe if my mom tries to hug me. Definitely don't want that for my babies!

Mara~ Your response is great! And it's a bit nicer than my original "bite me." Lily's only 4 weeks so I'm not too concerned about spoiling her. I agree that it's the habit at 8 months or so that are the hard ones to break!

Thanks for your suggestions, ladies!
 
Mara said:
All that to say, that if people want to offer their advice to you about spoiling, I'd say something like...I've already raised one great kid without your help, I am sure I won't have an issue with the 2nd. :naughty: Or maybe something nicer.
Click to expand...

Oohh, this! People will offer advice until you speak up and make them quit - it's your baby, do you need to do. I think that Lily is her own person and will learn to sleep on her schedule, you just have to let her do it. I have been pretty easy-going with Micah as far as schedule goes, and he still wakes up once (at least) a night to eat, and he is truly hungry because nothing else will console him. Last night I heard his tummy growl when I got up with him! He will STTN when he is ready, and he isn't yet. I'm ok with that.

Meresal, which etsy seller did you get that jon-jon from? It's SO cute! I want one!
ETA: I think I found it - amybailey4?
 
shiny - sorry that your having to hear everyone's *well intentioned* opinions about spoiling a baby :rolleyes: just trust yourself and attempt to ignore the others. Kim's idea of reflecting to the pedi is a smart one.

china - thanks for the insights. my feeling at this point is that I am most likely going to try a four day week when I go back. I figure that if I don't like it or it's not working then I can always switch back to FT. I've polled some of the ladies in my office - only one opted for the 4 day schedule so I'll just have to live it and see how it goes. I'm not too worried about career implications either. perhaps you'll be published and I'll be snapping photos professionally in the near future ;))

mara - I'm not sure about the sneakiness of six month old babies, but your story about J's middle night wakings is hilarious. I can just picture his little internal mwahahaha and it's cracking me up.

burk - so glad thte kids did well in daycare. can't believe the new school year is starting/started.

*************************************************************

as for me, I completely ruined my babe's sleeping streak by posting about it yesterday. Nora's still been largely possessed by the demons of fuss during the day, but fortunately she'd settle in for a nice, peaceful and LONG sleep sometime between 8 and 10 pm. (isn't it amazing how utterly angelic all babies are when they are asleep :bigsmile: ) well last night was a record breaker and not in a good way. 1:37 AM. Yes, that is the time our little lady finally exhausted herself out. From about 7 pm until 1:37 am she was nothing but cries and feedings about every 1.5-2 hrs. Nothing could get her to sleep. at all. I'm going to blame a growth spurt, but I have no idea what was going on. thankfully now she's down and hopefully out for the night because this mama needs a break. hello friday haircut!!!
 
Actually I got his from "Sew So Sweet Boutique", but I just noticed that she has closed her shop for the month of August to finish other orders. I almost ordered from Amybailey, but I think she wasn't able to do the rush order that I needed.
 
Hello!
Drive by post as i've been out all day and have to try to put a just-fed N in the swing for a nap. My coworkers shower was fun, but spent more time at the office than I originally intended to!

And we had a visit with the LC today- my supply is still at 2oz a feeding, but the big news is that N gained 9oz in a week! So he's FINALLY over 8lbs- 8.4 to be exact. So we've found our "groove" with the nursing/supplementing. I'll be curious to see what his weight is when he goes in for his 2 month pedi appt on Monday and then the next LC visit on Wed.

Quick Question for Mara- you mentioned that you implemented HBOTB stuff with J for every bedtime. Did you also do this for naps? We follow HBOTB at bedtime for N, and it works GREAT ( takes us 10 mins to put him down and then he can go 4-5 hrs)- but it's a challenge to get him to nap during the day. He really only naps in the sling and swing. I swaddled and shushed him this morning, but he only slept for 1/2 hour in the PNP. ugh- i guess it'll have to be the swing and sling for now, but would LOVE for him to nap in the PNP and eventually his crib (nursery is not set up yet...)
 
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