PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

[lovelylulu]

thanks for all the assurances! this is what I figured and have been peaking in on her for the past couple of days and she seems to be fine. like mara said changes her position up a lot. however, I really don't like when it looks like she's burrowing her little head into the mattress

 

[phoenixgirl]

Mere, we're leaving Claire with my mom in a month (when Claire is almost 13 months) to go to France. Of course, we're positive we're going to die in a plane crash or terrorist attack. Well, not really. If I thought that, I wouldn't go! Anyway, what I realized this weekend is that vacation is more stressful than normal life. I just don't like having to think through every little thing we'll need and what to pack for the day trips and when to come back for the naps . . . So now after my weekend in the mountains was mostly just stressful for me, I'm really looking forward to my week away with no naps or sippy cups or diapers to worry about!

I think the return of AF is on her way. First, I got the zit. You know, the giant inflamed area right below your mouth that, for all other people know, is some kind of canker sore? So that was clue #1. Also, I was super grumpy all weekend, but I thought that was just because I was realizing how much vacation sucks. Finally, I've got some light spotting and some cramps, which I assume will turn into full-out AF soon. I will sure to keep you all updated because I know you are dying to know! Just kidding. So this means I made it almost a year.

I figure this will help with Operation (Hallo)Wean. Or at least it's a sign that it's working. Maybe that's backwards, but my sister said that the return of AF was always when her hormones dropped and the babies just kind of weaned themselves. This week my goal is to get Claire to drink cow's milk so we can drop down to two feedings.

I am a little sad, though. My baby's growing up! Sniff, sniff.

 

[meresal]

thanks for all the assurances! this is what I figured and have been peaking in on her for the past couple of days and she seems to be fine. like mara said changes her position up a lot. however, I really don't like when it looks like she's burrowing her little head into the mattress

This is why you have the super firm mattress for babies. It is pretty much impossible for their nose to get "into" the mattress.

 

[lovelylulu]

thanks for all the assurances! this is what I figured and have been peaking in on her for the past couple of days and she seems to be fine. like mara said changes her position up a lot. however, I really don't like when it looks like she's burrowing her little head into the mattress

This is why you have the super firm mattress for babies. It is pretty much impossible for their nose to get "into" the mattress.

perhaps now i won't curse how heavy/dense that thing is when i'm changing the sheets

 

[meresal]

PG- Thanks for the input! Here's my selfish part--- My mom thinks that I am going to be upset away from the baby, so she doesn't want to plan a trip that is more than a week. However, I really want to see a couple of other cities, which we would do before and after the cruise. My mom won't commit to these, unless the baby is with us... she's worried I wont enjoy it, being away from the baby. LOL.

I'm so conflicted.

 

[lovelylulu]

okay -some more time!

food mamas - forgive me know as I'm totally going to be coming back with lots of questions. seems like food can be lots of fun and somewhat tricky at the same time.

pg - sorry that your vacay wasn't as relaxing as you hoped. so far our getaways have been good. we've done very baby friendly trips that have all involved staying at a house to have use of a kitchen, base of operations, etc. but it's still a lot more planning like you said. i love the phrase operation hallo(wean) love it. good luck!

HH - nora spent lots of time in the swaddle. lots. you'll see, it'll get less and less. all in good time!

pupp - I bet nolan will be lifting his little head in no time. sometimes I can't believe my girl can considering just how large her noggin is

DRK - a big thumbs down towards your mom. sorry.

sha - good luck with the weaning. and congratulations on making it to a year. such a major accomplishment!! and baby number 2. how exciting!!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Just watched my little one play on her stomach for a while before passing out for her final nap of the day. i guess she's going to remain a belly sleeper. for a while she was a side sleeper and it was just the cutest thing.

as for naps - this is a question I will pose to her pedi when we go to her 4 month appointment this week, but thought I'd see your thoughts as well. we've been using the EASY approach to life - nora eats about every two hours, is awake for about 1-1.5 hours and then follows it up with a nap of about 40min-1hr. This makes for about 5 naps a day. I'm really wanting to transition her to a more typical three hour nap routine and wonder how to veer away from the EAS? hope that makes sense.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

So my kid totally shocked me this morning. Apparently he DOES like the boob and has finally gotten his s*it together enough to latch properly! It was amazing, one try offering the boob to him and he was all over it and eating up a storm! So I guess I might not be an ep'er forever after all!

 

[ChargerGrrl]

MY HEART IS BREAKING.

you may remember that my kid is not a good napper. he sleeps 10 hrs at night, but daytime is another story. He hasn't napped today, so i thought i'd try CIO for this round. Nursed & bottled him at 1p, and we were done just before 2p. I would usually keep him up and play, but decided to try to nap him right away (he seemed a bit sleepy towards the end of the feeding). Totally followed his nighttime routine- swaddled, binked, white noise, totally dark room, sang and placed him in the co-sleeper. he was OK at first, then started up about 10 minutes later. he's been screaming/crying ever since. I've gone in about every 10 minutes. He stops a bit after he sees me and smiles.
Perhaps I need to start over tomorrow morning? we're going on almost an hour here...

As i noted before, naps have been a challenge, but he takes at least one/day and i follow the same routine: swaddle, play white noise, bink him and have the room semi-dark.

I'm truly at my wits end- he starts daycare in 2 weeks!

 

[ChargerGrrl]

OK, he's out. but that took an hour, which meant i sacrificed playtime for CIO time. But i was desperate to get him to sleep! His next nursing is scheduled for 4p, which is in 1/2 hour. I may just let himi sleep past then if he makes it that long... but now am sacrificing eating for sleep. I figure he'll wake up when he's ready to eat...

 

[oobiecoo]

So my kid totally shocked me this morning. Apparently he DOES like the boob and has finally gotten his s*it together enough to latch properly! It was amazing, one try offering the boob to him and he was all over it and eating up a storm! So I guess I might not be an ep'er forever after all!

Yay Hudson! Its such a great feeling when your kid figures out what to do!


I have a question for you guys... DH and I need to make up our wills and choose guardians for our daughter in case something happens to both of us. How did y'all choose??!! Did you let other family and friends know about your wishes or did you keep it quiet? And we plan on having more kids so should we only ask someone who agrees to take them all? Or re-asses when the time comes and maybe choose someone different then?

 

[lovelylulu]

charger - we *just* went through this with nora. because she's starting day care on nov. 1st, we decided that we needed to start teaching her to self soothe. Previously, we had been rocking her in our arms and walking around until she was out and then placing her in her crib. most times, that process only took five minutes, but there were a number of occasions when we would be walking and walking and walking for more than a half an hour. she was incapable of drifting off on her own. I read a lot about the different methods and on her 16th sweet week of life decided to implement a cry it out plan. like so many mamas, i was intellectually okay with the concept, but when it came time to actually do it, came quite close to buckling. baby cries are so hard to ignore. i decided that i did not want to use the ferber method of going in to console after 5 min/10 min/ etc, because knowing that would do the opposite of soothe my particular child. instead, we decided to put a time limit on the crying. after 40 minutes we'd go in. soothe her as long as it took. and try again at the next sleep time. we committed to cio for both naps and nights. we started last sunday and that first *session* she cried for 39 minutes. literally, I was standing outside her door, monitor in hand, about to go in when she fell asleep. the next time, it took 20 minutes. then 11. then no fussing, but sort of playing in the crib and drifting off to sleep. by wednesday of that week, nora had the hang of it. there are sometimes, I put her down and she'll fuss a bit, but never more than a minute or two. she falls asleep in her car seat, stroller, etc. it really is amazing.

we are having a slight hiccup now that she's been rolling onto her belly. but we seem to have gotten over that too.

all i can say is good luck and you have to be consistent. it is hard. but for us it worked.

 

[lovelylulu]

oh and i still get up whenever she wakes at night to feed. we have a dr.'s appointment this wednesday so I'll know for sure, but I think that she's quite a peanut. so if she wants/takes a feeding, I'm happy to give it to her. we were just using cio so she'd learn how to put herself to sleep, not to get through the night.

 

[mtjoya]

Thank you very much ladies for the advice. Yesterday she was very hungry so I gave her the squash. She semi likes it but she wolfed it down in 5 mins. hehe!

Co-sleeping: Who here does this? We never planned but the lil diva brat J doesn't wanna sleep in her crib! when i go to put her down, she throws a fit! I eventually give in and she sleeps with us. This wasn't an issue before all of a sudden she is wanting to sleep with us! fml

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

What's that saying one step forward, two steps back? I'm at my breaking point right now. Aidan has been screaming bloody murder since 6:30 tonight. I just got in from and hour long car ride and he's only now asleep, in his car seat! Tonight has been hellish, I have no idea what's wrong with him, if it's gas or witching hour, or what...

 

[somethingshiny]

HH~ ((((hugs)))) hope A is still sleeping. I have a cousin who would take babe for a ride and then put her in her car seat in the crib. If he starts fussing again and you think it may be gas, you could try wrapping a warm towel from the dryer loosely over his swaddle. The heat is soothing and can sometimes help to get the gas out. You're doing a great job, it'll get better, I promise!

 

[meresal]

Oobie- You definitely need to tell the person you put down. IMO. My sister chose us for her son, and I am glad that I know. It could be much more shocking, especially if you are not at least aware before hand.
My husband and I are the only ones that know. It isn't something that needs to be shared with the whole family.

... but I am having a hard time with who we are going to put on ours. I will end up putting my other sister who lives here in the state, but I just don't like her husband, and have good reason. However, other than my parents, she is our only real option, unless we chose some friends... which I guess, is always an option, but hard to explain when you have 4 siblings with families.

 

[oobiecoo]

Oobie- You definitely need to tell the person you put down. IMO. My sister chose us for her son, and I am glad that I know. It could be much more shocking, especially if you are not at least aware before hand.
My husband and I are the only ones that know. It isn't something that needs to be shared with the whole family.

... but I am having a hard time with who we are going to put on ours. I will end up putting my other sister who lives here in the state, but I just don't like her husband, and have good reason. However, other than my parents, she is our only real option, unless we chose some friends... which I guess, is always an option, but hard to explain when you have 4 siblings with families.

Of course we plan on discussing it with whomever we choose... just didn't know if we should let others know so there is no shock or disagreement if the time ever comes. We have no clue who to pick... DH has 8 other siblings and, while we are pretty close to 2 of them, they aren't as settled in life yet and we don't feel comfy picking them(but don't want to offend them by choosing a sibling we aren't as close to). We even though about one of his zillions of cousins but risk offending ALL siblings AND the cousins who weren't chosen. Geez! Same with godparents... no clue how/who to choose!

 

[Puppmom]

HH, I can totally sympathize. Sometimes, DH and I are afraid to say out loud when things are going really well. We don't want to jinx it!

 

[MonkeyPie]

HH, I hope A slept the rest of the night! I second SS's suggestion of the warm towel from the dryer - just like a warm bath with lavender is always soothing, so is gentle heat. When Micah was tiny he hated baths, but he looooved warm towels fresh from the dryer. And they always made him sleepy.

DH and I have been talking about making a will so Micah will have someone to take care of him. We knew both sets of parents would be a fine choice but we want him with someone younger, so I think he will go with my brother and SIL. They have no children - SIL is in her late 40's - but they love kids and Micah really likes both of them. DH has three brothers and a half-brother, but none of them would really be suitable for a lot of reasons - the half-brother has two kids and has to work two jobs to support them, the two youngest brothers are fresh out of high school, and the other one is sort of, well, irresponsible. So my brother is our best option.

 

[Sha]

MY HEART IS BREAKING.

you may remember that my kid is not a good napper. he sleeps 10 hrs at night, but daytime is another story. He hasn't napped today, so i thought i'd try CIO for this round. Nursed & bottled him at 1p, and we were done just before 2p. I would usually keep him up and play, but decided to try to nap him right away (he seemed a bit sleepy towards the end of the feeding). Totally followed his nighttime routine- swaddled, binked, white noise, totally dark room, sang and placed him in the co-sleeper. he was OK at first, then started up about 10 minutes later. he's been screaming/crying ever since. I've gone in about every 10 minutes. He stops a bit after he sees me and smiles.
Perhaps I need to start over tomorrow morning? we're going on almost an hour here...

As i noted before, naps have been a challenge, but he takes at least one/day and i follow the same routine: swaddle, play white noise, bink him and have the room semi-dark.

I'm truly at my wits end- he starts daycare in 2 weeks!

Charger - is it the ferber method you're trying? I don't know... I think going in every 10 minutes probably will just reinforce the 'crying' more. If we did that with Dalila she would just cry harder because she would think "aha! there's mommy...my crying is working! Now let me just cry harder and maybe she'll pick me up!" I think CIO works best when the babes learn that the 'crying' isn't working towards their desired goal, so they 'give up' and try something else. That's how I see it, anyway. I know this is a sensitive topic and not everyone agrees with that philosophy, but CIO has really worked for us - esp with helping D to sleep ( she was waking every 2 hours from birth to 6 months), but it only did when we toughed it out and let her cry for a while.... If you're consistent and they're no other underlying issues, the time spent crying decreases quickly, and you start to see 'results' in a few days.

mtjoya - are you fine with the co-sleeping? I co-slept with D up to about 2 months old, because she woke so frequently at night. It was fine for that stage - I had no hopes of getting any real sleep then, so I didn't really mind much. She's been in her crib since 8 weeks, though - and since then everyone has slept much better. Is there a reason J doesn't want to sleep in her crib now? Just be careful of creating a monster.... The more you take her to bed with you, the less she'll probably want to be in her crib. After all, snuggling up with Mommy really doesn't compare to a lonely crib, does it?

 

[meresal]

Oobie- You definitely need to tell the person you put down. IMO. My sister chose us for her son, and I am glad that I know. It could be much more shocking, especially if you are not at least aware before hand.
My husband and I are the only ones that know. It isn't something that needs to be shared with the whole family.

... but I am having a hard time with who we are going to put on ours. I will end up putting my other sister who lives here in the state, but I just don't like her husband, and have good reason. However, other than my parents, she is our only real option, unless we chose some friends... which I guess, is always an option, but hard to explain when you have 4 siblings with families.

Of course we plan on discussing it with whomever we choose... just didn't know if we should let others know so there is no shock or disagreement if the time ever comes. We have no clue who to pick... DH has 8 other siblings and, while we are pretty close to 2 of them, they aren't as settled in life yet and we don't feel comfy picking them(but don't want to offend them by choosing a sibling we aren't as close to). We even though about one of his zillions of cousins but risk offending ALL siblings AND the cousins who weren't chosen. Geez! Same with godparents... no clue how/who to choose!

Oobie- We seem to be in a bit of the same boat.

IMO, you don't need to worry about what others are going to think "after" anything might happen, which is why I don't think it needs to be shared ahead of time. Especially if you know it will cause unecessary drama. My sister has specifically asked that we not share her decision with the family, b/c the sister I will most likely be putting on our will, will be hurt. I would put the sister that chose us, but she lives on the other side of the US, and I just couldn't send our little guy that far away from all of his granparents.

So frustrating. This is why we keep putting it off. We also need to set up life insurance policies.

 

[somethingshiny]

RE: choosing caregivers for your child/ren. I think you have to really think who would be the best parents. To me, it doesn't matter who is your best friend, your closest sibling, etc. To me what matters is that their views on parenting closely match mine and that I know for a fact they would give unconditional love to my children. That being said, DH and I still don't have anyone chosen. We both believe our children should have a strong mother and father and they should also be financially responsible. The only thing we can come up with is to have the kids live with one of my sibs but have another sib in charge of finances.

HH~ I really hope A's night was good!!

 

[ChargerGrrl]

THANKS, Lulu and Sha for chiming in on CIO.

It's now time for his morning nap, and he's in there having a crying fit. We began just before 9a, so it's been 20 minutes. Haven't gone in and I'm resolving not to do so until 10a when it's time for his next feeding. To make matters worse, my mom stayed over last night as DH is on a biz trip. She's beside herself right now, and keeps saying she wants to go get him. oy vey.

I KNOW he's tired. I had to wake him at 6:45a this morning to start the day or else he would've continued to sleep in. And he was yawning a bit before I put him down for this nap.

Time check- it's now 9:29 and he just stopped.

 

[Mara]

CG... he MAY just not be ready for CIO... but if you are on a timeline like going back to work, it is hard to think 'ok well I'll just try again later'..yanno. J would intermittently take to it and then he wouldn't. it wasn't until 5.5mo he kind of got it. now he goes down easy but he does wake at night and cry or fuss sometimes. i usually go in if i hear him but if i don't then he normally falls back to sleep at some point.

but i think what helped me for CIO was knowing their needs were taken care of and there was just 'drama' on their end..hehe.. like oh my gosh i want to be out playing right now, not doing this stupid nap thing!! it was easier for me to think of it in those terms than feeling like their little hearts were breaking. change diaper, feed, make sure they are tired and then put them down. eventually i think they do figure it out.

re: wills, we need to get on that too i guess. for me it would def be my mom who would get J because she's young for her age, in great health, and would take wonderful care of him. after that it would be my sister but she's young right now and just getting her life together so i wouldn't toss this responsibility on her, but if she were older and/or more settled she'd definitely love to take him. depressing to think about though.

so...older kid moms (though maybe at this point J is one of the older kids here so i can ask this on 12-36mo if i need to)...but J has been doing this thing the last week where he wakes at about 4-5am and will just kind of hang out and babble in crib. sometimes he fusses, sometimes not. i tend to jjust get up to try to get him back to sleep so that he won't get too awake...but lately it doesn't seem to matter. he's super happy to see me and doesn't want to go back down. if i leave he will just babble. then he might fall back to sleep but it's short chunks. like 15-30 min of sleep then wake up again and sit and babble. or stand and bang the wall and babble. or fuss. he will do this for 2-3 hours sometimes. yesterday he got up at 5am and wouldn't go back down even after a bottle at 6am...he slept in small quiet chunks and then would just awaken and pop up. he did this til 8am. today i fed him at 5am since he was fussing and he slept til 7:30 but then woke up and again did the babble and play til 9am. he is still going down at 7-7:30pm but i don't know what to do with this early wake thing.

is this a stage? i think he's teething because hello he's 8.5mo with NO teeth so i always think that. he's also getting over this congested cold thing so i think that kind of wakes him too. but i dunno--should i just leave him alone? or see if this is a phase? i hate feeding him before 6:30am because i don't want to create this pattern but he guzzles down the bottle at 5 if i give it to him. and i think it's like me where if i wake up at 4 or 5am and don't go back to sleep i become slowly more and more hungry til i CANT go back to sleep. plus he's been sleeping since 7pm so he's way more hungry!

anyhoo at a bit of a loss on this one. just don't want to put myself into a bigger jam with him waking earlier or more consistently but also don't want to just leave him hanging if he needs something from us. i may post this on the other site too. TIA!

other than that, not much to report. cold is getting better. no teeth still. super good natured. crawling like a fiend. super independent. that's about it!

 

[MonkeyPie]

so...older kid moms (though maybe at this point J is one of the older kids here so i can ask this on 12-36mo if i need to)...but J has been doing this thing the last week where he wakes at about 4-5am and will just kind of hang out and babble in crib. sometimes he fusses, sometimes not. i tend to jjust get up to try to get him back to sleep so that he won't get too awake...but lately it doesn't seem to matter. he's super happy to see me and doesn't want to go back down. if i leave he will just babble. then he might fall back to sleep but it's short chunks. like 15-30 min of sleep then wake up again and sit and babble. or stand and bang the wall and babble. or fuss. he will do this for 2-3 hours sometimes. yesterday he got up at 5am and wouldn't go back down even after a bottle at 6am...he slept in small quiet chunks and then would just awaken and pop up. he did this til 8am. today i fed him at 5am since he was fussing and he slept til 7:30 but then woke up and again did the babble and play til 9am. he is still going down at 7-7:30pm but i don't know what to do with this early wake thing.

Micah has done this before. For about a week he did it EVERY MORNING and we just wanted to die, we lost so much sleep, and he would just nap really well later so he didn't notice a difference. Then all of a sudden he quit doing it. I would just let him be - unless there is something wrong, don't go get him, or he will think it's time to wake up. If I picked Micah up or even got in his line of vision, it was all over! So I left him alone, and a few days later he stopped doing it.

 

[Puppmom]

re: choosing guardians for your children. I'm the named guardian for my sister's three boys. She named me because she feels that I have the most stable home life. Her ILs are the closest to the boys but are in their 70s and she fears that her children would possibly have to be moved twice if they passed as well. Plus, taking care of three young boys in your 70s isn't exactly ideal. It's a tough decision! We haven't yet decided who will care for N if something were to happen to us.

God help me if both my sister and her husband pass!

 

[phoenixgirl]

HH, yay on the nursing!!! But boo on the witching hour. My friend has a 10 week old who had a nightly witching hour(s) and she just figured out that the problem was her drinking cow's milk. Have you played around with your diet?

Charger, what is your normal daily schedule like? I am wondering if maybe trying to go down for a nap earlier could help? Sometimes you can miss the window if you wait too long.

Making a will ~ argh, must do this before our trip! We have chosen my sister and BIL and have told other family members, but since MIL is a bit nuts, it would be best to have this in writing. We are also their pick, and they have 3 kids, oh my!!! We were their choice even before having our own child, which is quite flattering since our brother and SIL have 2 of their own and BIL has siblings (but they are all 50+). My sister and DH are very similar, and BIL and I are very similar, so as couples we wind up creating the same effect, for lack of a better description. I really admire my sister's parenting techniques, but not so much my brother's (though his children will never lack for love - just discipline). DH has a brother whom he threw out as a possibility when we were discussing this a few months ago, but unfortunately he is getting a divorce and lives too far away anyway.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Phoenix, we suspect he's sensitive to dairy-cheese specifically- and i had cut it out of my diet early on and tried reintroducing it this week. so that could definitely be the issue

 

[phoenixgirl]

Hmmm, HH, maybe try axing the cheese again.


OK, so AF is definitely back, but it's really light, like maybe half a normal period. Is that weird?

 

[Puppmom]

Phoenix, we suspect he's sensitive to dairy-cheese specifically- and i had cut it out of my diet early on and tried reintroducing it this week. so that could definitely be the issue

No cheese? Oh, the horror! I heart cheese!

So N had a really weird schedule today. He ate only every 5 hours all day (the last feeding I had to wake him for!) then at 7:20 only an hour and a half since the last time the kiddo ate, he started fussing something fierce! I changed him, put him in his PJs, swaddled him and rocked him thinking he was just tired. When none of that worked, I tried nursing him. The kid was just hungry! I guess he had catching up to do after eating so infrequently today. Just when I think I have this guy figured out...