PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

[Puppmom]

Mere, thank goodness is just a double-chompie! That pic is too cute. C looks so proud of his teeth...like "Look, Ma! I have teeth!".

MP, that M is a silly boy eating his high chair! I cannot believe how TALL he is!

HH, what a great gift idea. I wish I would have thought of that for my girlfriend before I went and spent a $100 on baby crap. I'm sure she'll use it all but a photo shoot is so much more fun!

LV, Samantha is beautiful. I absolutely understand where you're coming from. I look at N every day and think about how much I love the little guy!

Turtle, I'm glad to hear T is doing well! Sitting? N will sit (if you put him there) for seconds before falling over. I find this is sort of an awkward stage because they want to do some much but just can't.

DRK, boo about the furnace. I'll be right behind as mine is 25 years old!

AFM, we started solids and N is really into it. He grabs the spoon and puts it in his mouth. Once, he even grabbed the bowl and tried to eat it. Good thing that nasty rice cereal sticks right to the bowl or we would have had a spill! His 6 month appt is next Saturday so we figured we would start the cereal now so, if we have any issues or questions, we can address them with the pedi at our appt. He's still sucking his thumb ALL.THE.TIME. When he's nursing, he'll pull away and take breaks every few minutes and suck his thumb. He does the same thing with the cereal. He shoves the thumb in between bites. Oh, and he's totally mesmerized by the guitar which really excites DH. He literally goes from a screaming mess to smiling and laughing with one chord!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Pupp-while it's definitely an original idea and an awesome gesture I think it missed the mark gift-wise. For one, it forced me to use a photographer who was 2 hours away from me and charges so much for prints that I can't order any. Sure she's nice and she does great work, but I never would have gone with her for our newborn pictures. I could have gone with a higher caliber photog closer to home for what she's charging for the package, sitting fee and prints. But I felt obligated to go with her because my cousin spent so much on the gift. There were things on our registry that we didn't get but really needed that this $$ could have gone towards. I know I really shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, but this is something that I think is a great idea but difficult to execute. KWIM??

Aidy went sledding today at day care! Apparently he loves the snow. His snow suit has been at daycare so we haven't taken him outside in the snow in anything but his carseat.

 

[turtledazzle]

Mere -- such a cute pic! Sooo glad the tooth wasn't chipped!

Pupp -- yay for solids and N loving them. We're starting with rice cereal this Saturday. I have the feeling he's going to love it. If we put T in a sitting position now, he'll usually stay pretty steady for a couple of minutes. In fact, last weekend he fell over and bumped his head on the floor (but thankfully he was sitting on a really thick blanket so no biggie) because DH kind of forgot that T doesn't really have the whole sitting thing completely down pat yet. But still no rolling over from back to belly ...

HH -- love that pic of A! We've had an unusually large amount of snow down here, but T isn't a fan (takes after his mom in that respect ).

LV -- such a sweet post -- brought back many fond memories. S is such a cutie!

 

[jcrow]

oh, mere! so good to hear! that's much better news.

lv - she's BEAUTIFUL! congrats!!

 

[Kunzite]

LV - Welcome!!! S is adorable!!

HH - Super cute

My baby has stopped sleeping well during the day and evening. He'll only sleep while we're holding him. My arms are very sore!!! I know I just told Laine a few days ago that you can't create bad habits at this age, but I'm terrified that's what we're doing!!

 

[MonkeyPie]

My baby has stopped sleeping well during the day and evening. He'll only sleep while we're holding him. My arms are very sore!!! I know I just told Laine a few days ago that you can't create bad habits at this age, but I'm terrified that's what we're doing!!

But how can you say no to that face!? What a cutie! Micah always slept best while I held him, too - I let him fall asleep that way then put him down. Try not to worry, though you may want to invest in a sling

HH, I saw that pic on The Other Site and had no idea what was going on (I was looking from my phone). That's hilarious that's out in the snow! Did he eat it? Micah wanted nothing to do with the one dusting we got here except to shove it in his mouth lol.

 

[meresal]

LV- Welcome to your and ytour beautiful little girl!

Kunzite- I held my baby for all naps, and at night (other than the first 3 hours) up until 2 MONTHS! My wrists were killing me and DH couldn't figure out why I never got anything done around the house. C wouldn't not stay asleep unless he was being held, and wouldn't fall aslepp unles I took him outside. I am a FIRM believer that all the talk about bad habits when they are that young is absolute rubbish. It took my son longer to self sooth than some other babies, but he sleeps perfectly fine now wihtout needing to be held or rocked. He is 9 months.
He is such a looker! (Your son, not mine! lol)

HH- That is so cute that he got to go sledding at day car! Great pic!

 

[somethingshiny]

Kunzite~ Lily (6 mo) went through a period when she would only sleep in my arms too. She still wants her short morning nap in my arms but her 2 hr afternoon nap and most nights she'll go to sleep on her own in her crib. I was also told at the NICU that babies who are immediately separated from the Mama at birth have more of a physical attachment issue at first. So, just roll with it. When he's comfortable on his own, he'll let you know. My arms ached from holding Lily so much, but I don't regret it. She seems happy and adjusting her own sleep habits well. Pillows are your best friend right now. One behind your lower back and one under the arm that's supporting baby.

 

[Lanie]

Kunzite--So cute! I love his little sweet face! And you have to hold him anyway after feeding right? I feel like I'm always holding Anderson as well.

Mere--you mean you are a firm believer that they DO develop bad habits when they are babies? If that's the case, I agree. I have a feeling I'll be holding my son to sleep when he's 15. I know what you mean about never getting anything done around the house! I'm living in that world right now.

 

[meresal]

Lanie, I do not believe that they can develope habits. IMO, they all grow out of it when they are ready. C stopped needing to be held for all of his naps once he was probably 3 months (nurse him and then put him down asleep), and by 6 months he was ready to start self-soothing himself to sleep (nurse him and put him down awake or alseep)... so no need for nursing before his naps.

Sidenote:
I have an 11yo nephew that will STILL sleep in the same bed as my sister, and he was still being rocked at night when he was 8. It was not because he "needed" it, it was because my sister couldn't let go.
If you make the child stop, they will learn to do without it. IMO, rocking a baby to sleep, or giving them a bottle to fall asleep, is something they will grow out of, as long as you watch for their cues, and don't prolong it becuase it makes YOU feel better.

 

[Lanie]

Ok so you do believe the saying that you can't spoil a baby. I hope that's correct and I'm certainly "spoiling" him. My inlaws have been visiting for the last week and the only time he has ever not been held is at night and the very occassional nap. Ugh. And I will put him on my chest to sleep for that extra precious hour at 6am. It works but everytime I do it I envision myself with a grown teenager on my chest. Hahaha. That's interesting about your nephew. 11 is old to be doing that. That's a fifth/sixth grader!

 

[Kunzite]

MP - That's what we used to do, put him in his crib after he fell asleep. Now he wakes up sad after 10 minutes. You're right, we need a carrier. We've been meaning to order a Baby Hawk since this kid was born but haven't been able to commit to a fabric LOL! How sad is that

mere - Thanks for making me feel better! I think this just took me by surprise because we used to put him down drowsy (before the reflux) and he always fell asleep fine. I should have known that was too good to last!

SS - I hadn't heard that about NICU babies. I almost would have thought it would be the opposite since he was already used to sleeping alone in the hospital. The nurses certainly didn't hold him while he slept. Maybe he just figured out that he can get what he wants out of us because we're not his nurses!

Laine - Thanks! Yes. we have been holding him for a bit after feedings but that was usually the perfect amount of time for him to fall asleep and then we'd put him in his crib. It didn't ever seem to do much good though because he still spits up an hour or more later. It makes me so sad when I go into his room and he's laying in a puddle of spit up

 

[meresal]

I didn't have any friends in high school that needed to be rocked at sleepovers... I think you are safe!

Re: my sister and nephew. I should probably clarify. I understand that sharing a bed in some instances is necessary... however, my sister will go out of her way to make it so that my newphew "needs" to sleep with her.
When staying at my parents house a few months ago, his sister (12) was in her own bed, and my sister (their mom) was in her own bed, and my nephew was on the made-up couch sleeping just fine (sheets, pillow, blanket, etc.). She wasn't happy with him on the couch, so she wopke him up and had him move into her bed. I don't mean to offend anyone that shares a bed with their child, this is just extremely odd for me and my family, when grouped with all of the other, IMO, inappropriate things she does with a pre-teen son... I mean, she shared a tent with him on a boy-scout trip at 10 years of age. But that is another thread for another day.

 

[drk]

K slept nights on my chest for the first 2 months, and beside me in bed for the next month after that. She would also only nap while being held. After 3 months, DH started being able to put her down in her crib for naps, and we quickly were able to transition there for bedtime too. She's a great sleeper - naps aren't always long or in her crib (our nanny will take her out in the stroller), but she gets 11.5-12 hours a night, and will usually soothe herself off to sleep and back to sleep if she wakes.

I don't believe you can create bad habits so early on. If anything, making the child feel secure ought to help, no?

 

[Puppmom]

IMO, it's important to make your baby feel secure - whatever that looks like. I believe a secure baby is a happy baby and they'll develop the ability over time to self-soothe etc. Besides happy baby=happy mama!

 

[turtledazzle]

T still likes to sleep on me for some naps -- he'll often fall asleep while breastfeeding after I get home from work (I wish I could eat and sleep simultaneously!) To save my arms, I developed a hands free way to breastfeed -- I put a pillow underneath the boppy on my lap.

 

[Puppmom]

Turtle, N catnaps at the boob after work too. It's nice downtime for both of us...although I do sometimes feel trapped in the chair!

 

[noelwr]

I'm back home. surgery went well. I'm on pain killers but it is managable. the crap part is that I have this scary looking drain/tube coming out of my skin and it hits a nerve in my new boob when I make certain movements - yeow! the quiet nights at the hospital were weird, but I did enjoy my sleep. so now 5.5 weeks of recovery before I can pick up my little girl.

well, I am part of the club that you can spoil babies and cause bad habits (yes, I'm THAT mean mommy), but I respect everyone does parenting their own ways. luckily my mom, who is now on baby duty for the next 4 weeks, agrees with me so she also lets Skye cry in her crib when we think she is acting a little bit spoiled. after a while she is so tired from crying that if we put a dummy in her mouth, she falls right asleep. don't get me wrong, we do cuddle and play with her a lot, but when she is quiet. then again, maybe I can say this all very easily because Skye slept in her own crib in her own room since the 2nd day and also lies quietly in her crib after her last feed and falls asleep on her own. if that wasn't the case or maybe when it becomes not the case, anymore, I might be hypocritical and change my parenting view!

she had 3 days that she moved back to waking up after 3 hrs at night, but she's moved back to sleeping average 6 hrs.

HH - your hair is getting long! love the pro pics. maybe we'll do that, too. waiting for the day Skye can concentrate and not move her head too much so we can get a photo made for a passport.

mere - scary with the tooth. good you got a 2nd opinion.

welcome LV and beautiful Samantha!

 

[somethingshiny]

noel~ Thanks for the update. So glad that you're home and can now recover. I hope the nerve pain eases up and you're feeling good!

 

[Bella_mezzo]

noel, Glad that you are home and that the surgery went well!!!!!!!!!

 

[Lanie]

noel -- glad your surgery went well. Hope you can relax with your mother and daughter.

LV -- that most recent pic of Samantha is gorgeous. What a pretty little girl!

HH -- love the sledding pic! I wish we had snow in Houston.

Kunzite -- love love love his tummy time pic! What a dreamy little guy you have!

mere -- we just scheduled our baptism, and I remembered C's gorgeous gown, so I had to use the search engine to find it again. I LOVE it. I went to Strasburg (sp?) at the Galleria...the overpriced store that has beautiful fancy kids' clothes, and fell in love with a long gown similar to yours (without the heirloom of course) and it was $179! I don't think I want to pay that, but I am looking for one similar. So pretty! I was a little leary about using such a long gown for a boy, but C pulled it off handsomly, I must say! So I think I'm going to go for a similar look. Glad to hear about your 2nd opinion on the tooth!

I'm going to cheat and post 2 late Baby Pic Friday photos. My inlaws have been in town for the last week so I don't have time to post anything else. They are both of my husband...he would kill me if I posted his photo on "that site". The light was coming in through our window this morning and it looked so cool, so I had to take pics.

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend!!!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I'm back home. surgery went well. I'm on pain killers but it is managable. the crap part is that I have this scary looking drain/tube coming out of my skin and it hits a nerve in my new boob when I make certain movements - yeow! the quiet nights at the hospital were weird, but I did enjoy my sleep. so now 5.5 weeks of recovery before I can pick up my little girl.

well, I am part of the club that you can spoil babies and cause bad habits (yes, I'm THAT mean mommy), but I respect everyone does parenting their own ways. luckily my mom, who is now on baby duty for the next 4 weeks, agrees with me so she also lets Skye cry in her crib when we think she is acting a little bit spoiled. after a while she is so tired from crying that if we put a dummy in her mouth, she falls right asleep. don't get me wrong, we do cuddle and play with her a lot, but when she is quiet. then again, maybe I can say this all very easily because Skye slept in her own crib in her own room since the 2nd day and also lies quietly in her crib after her last feed and falls asleep on her own. if that wasn't the case or maybe when it becomes not the case, anymore, I might be hypocritical and change my parenting view!

she had 3 days that she moved back to waking up after 3 hrs at night, but she's moved back to sleeping average 6 hrs.

HH - your hair is getting long! love the pro pics. maybe we'll do that, too. waiting for the day Skye can concentrate and not move her head too much so we can get a photo made for a passport.

mere - scary with the tooth. good you got a 2nd opinion.

welcome LV and beautiful Samantha!

Noel-glad your surgery went well and you're on the fast track to recovery. How old is Skye now? I'm impressed with your willpower. Aidan is almost 5 mo now and I have such a hard time letting him fuss it out/cry it out. I can't imagine how hard it must be with Skye being even younger! So far *knock on wood* Aidan is responding to our letting him fuss it out, but it's hard to not jump and run at the first whine.

 

[AllieLuv83]

Noel...you are one strong Mama. Charlie has been sick recently and up 4 times a night. He goes down very easily at night, and from 6 weeks on he was getting up just one time a night. Lately, with being sick and teething he wakes up at 12:30, 1:30, 3:30, 5:30. I watch him fuss on the monitor, I walk in and try to give him a paci, but he usually wants to comfort nurse. I imagine it must suck to have a nose full of boogers and not be able to blow it, or to not be able to breathe. I wonder what it must feel like to lay alone in a big crib, not feeling well or feeling hungry, scared, lonely, sad and to not know whether mommy is coming to get me or make me feel better. When I see him fuss I can't help but to run to him.

I read something that cut a deep nerve in me. http://www.facebook.com/#!/note.php?note_id=146393188752345&id=134844053221572

you can choose to read it or not.

I completely respect your decisions as a mom to let LO cry it out I just don't think I could do it, at least not yet. He will be 4 months of February 12th.

 

[fieryred33143]

I read that article and couldn't disagree with it more, unless we were talking about a newborn. And I believe the new recommendation is not to CIO until 6 months. We first did official CIO at 11 months when she was ready for it and never once has she ever exhibited any signs of believing that if she cries, we won't come. She cries all day: when she can't fit the circle into her mickey toy, when her straw comes off the sippy cup, when she falls or is sick or is hurting. And every time she calls out to "mama" or "papa" because she knows we will respond to help despite having done CIO. To be honest, that article was extreme and makes me a little angry. All it does is contribute to this idea that moms need to be martyrs. That you should jump from bed at the first sound of a complaint and keep yourself awake all night and push through your sleep deprivation because it's your duty as a caring mother. Never mind your own sanity or need for sleep. Your health is no longer important.

That said, CIO is only 1 of so many sleep training options out there and moms have to decide what they are most comfortable with. Too bad the article didn't offer any insight on what to do when you are at your wits end and don't know how to solve your baby's sleeping woes.

 

[cara]

Well the article also had some reasonable points - human babies are born substantially premature relative to many other mammals, even among primates, hence the "fourth trimester" newborn phase of complete helplessness, followed by babyhood, which still does not involve killer levels of competence relative to other baby mammals. But it was also sensationalistic, unabashedly biased, and just plain wrong about some things. Babies aren't up in the night to avoid nocturnal predators; that human babies cry is an indication we have been at the top of the food chain for quite some time.

But I digress. I must admit, I am offput by saying that newborns are spoiled or manipulative, but maybe its just a phrasing difference combined with the mommy hormones being like, no! you cannot spoil the baby at Silas's age, he's just to be loved. When really what I'd prefer to say that babies (with their parents assistance) can develop habits or patterns and of course babies can also have preferences that may or may not mesh with what their parents would prefer. My Silas loves a nice warm squishy sleeping appliance. Preferably living, but mommy and daddy's big soft mattress is preferable to his flat, SIDS approved crib mattress even if the big bed is without other human occupants. I can't say I blame him for this preference. My friend's baby preferred to sleep by herself, as other people in the same bed or even the room distract her and wake her up. I don't think it is spoiling Silas to let him sleep in our bed on occasion (if so, whole nations of babies must be spoiled!) but rather it is what is working for our family for now. But other families certainly might choose to form different habits with their babies, depending on what works for them!

Typed as I just got Silas to fuss-it-out to sleep in his big crib. We are working on getting him used to his crib and at least doing the initial sleep spell without someone next to him. HH, I'm with you on being too much of a mush to handle too much crying. I'm not entirely opposed to CIO, but emotionally it is hard and I need to be 100% sure it is the right path to go down to make it work.

Anyway, in other news, I went to a conference this week and took Silas and my mom came to watch him. It went well, though traveling with the little one by myself is certainly stressful. Nothing went horribly awry either, but it just is stressful with a baby to worry about and all the baby stuff to cart along and I missed my DH, who had to stay behind and work. S now rolls both ways and is tons of fun mostly, but its also scary that he no longer stays put where you left him! And he is super observant and watchful of the world around him. At his 4 mo appt, the doc said we should start solids soon and I am getting excited for it! Though I still think its a touch early, but soon.

Noel glad to hear your surgery went well. Good luck on the recovery!

Lanie, he's a doll. Clearly from my post above, I don't think you should worry about spoiling him at his age and just getting through the newborn period by crook or by snook shouldn't be underestimated. And it's not like you can't transition him to different habits once he's older (with a little bit of awareness that 4 mo olds might be different than 9 mo olds, etc.)

 

[noelwr]

yes, sorry, I want to agree with cara. I didn't say it correctly. I agree newborns aren't spoiled or manipulative... but require order and rhythm, and when trying to establish this, we as parents create habits, be they good or bad.

don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that Skye falling asleep on her own and STTN is due to my fantastic parenting skills. no one becomes a great parent over night. from the beginning we have tried to bring routine to her life with our desired results in mind. we always said that she should never sleep in our bed with us or in our room, and we have stuck to this so that she got used to her crib and room from the start. and then we would let her wake us up in the middle of the night when she got hungry (and kept interaction to a minimum), and slowly she slept longer and longer, but obviously sometimes reverts to shorter periods. I completely agree that some babies cry more than others, and we just don't know why. and she *IS* only 8 weeks old... I know we will experience nights when she will probably just cry and cry and we don't know how to make it stop, and it will mess up the whole rhythm, but we'll just have to be strong and keep to it.

HH - Skye is 8 weeks on Wed. I have no idea how I am able to tune out the crying, I just suddenly could one day. I remember I hadn't eaten all day and she was crying and I thought, "I really have to eat, so she's just going to have to wait" and then 5 minutes into my lunch, she had fallen asleep. and then the next time I gave it 10 min, and so on and so forth, that now I could let her cry an hour and probably not be stressed, though of course I'd never do that. I think after crying 20 min, she has got herself so worked up that she can't quit, so putting her pacifier in or stroking her head usually calms her down and makes her realize she is tired. because she is bottle-fed, it is very easy for me to rule out that she is hungry because she's on a schedule so we know she isn't starved. she's also in her rocking chair a lot of the day, so we can talk to her when she's crying and we can soothe her without picking her up (as we're trying to teach her that crying does not always result in getting picked up).

 

[AllieLuv83]

I am not saying that you should NEVER let a baby cry it out...I was saying that I just can't do it yet with C.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I am not saying that you should NEVER let a baby cry it out...I was saying that I just can't do it yet with C.

I agree with Allie and I liked the link to the article she posted. I think it's very relevant and is no more sensationalist than the next article advocating one technique over another. And while the article doesn't target a specific age, I think it's pretty clear that they're talking about little babies, not babies 6 months or even 4 months and older.

Noel, I understand what you're saying about self preservation when you're living in the haze of newborn mommyhood, and I can't begin to imagine how much harder it must be for you considering the emotional and physical challenges you've been dealing with. That being said, I do think 8 weeks is too young or was too young for MY child to CIO. Even now we only let him fuss it out at night and we just started that this week. That means we do our bedtime routine, we have 5 minutes of snuggle time and then he goes in the crib sleepy yet awake. I tell him I love him and will be there if he needs me and then I say good night and i walk out of the room closing the door behind me. Then he whines and complains in the crib for a bit and then either ramps up to full crying mode or settles down and goes to sleep. If he starts really crying I'll go in and put the paci in, put my hand on his back to settle him down, tell him I love him and good night again and walk out the door. I don't want to jinx myself but so far we've only had one night where I've had to soothe after putting him down.

What's my point with this post? My child (and I can only speak for my own) at 8 weeks wasn't capable of this. I truly think he needed external soothing to fall asleep. It was part of the bedtime routine, which is why we've kept the 5 minutes of snuggle time, and to be honest we both just really enjoy the quiet time together. Aidan has been bottle fed since birth so I feel like I've missed out on the closeness that breastfeeding provides. This is how we got that time together. Now that Aidan is starting to show more independence and personality I know he can handle a little fussing but I'd still not let him fully CIO at this age.

 

[jcrow]

lanie - re: baptism gown - look into feltman bros. they look very similar to mere's. definitely heirloom quality. beautiful stuff!

 

[Lanie]

jcrow -- good call. I have a Feltman brothers onesie that was given to me which is so pretty. My DH thinks it looks girly, but I don't care. I'll look online!