PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

[AllieLuv83]

I have to be honest here, had Noel been talking about her 8, 9, 10 or even 5, 6 month old child I would not have disagreed with her. I do feel that sometimes a child needs to learn to settle them selves down on their own. I don't want to jinx myself here by saying but our bedtime routine has been pretty easy thus far. From day 4 we have had almost the same routine. Bath, we bring him into our bedroom to dry him off and put him in his PJ's, when he was sleeping with us I would nurse him in the room or daddy would give him a bottle, then swaddle and sleep. Now that he is in his own room, I nurse him in his bedroom in a rocking chair, Daddy will burp and swaddle him and then Daddy will rock him for about 5 minutes if he is still awake. Usually by the time I place him on the changing pad to be swaddled, his eyes are droopy and his paci goes in and he's out cold.

Just now, as I write, Charlie is napping in his bouncy chair. I nursed him about an hour ago, changed him, played with him, and put him in his chair with his blankie, and paci. I was in the kitchen and I could hear him fussing. I called out to him that Mama will be right there. 5-10 minutes later and him still fussing a bit I walked back into the living room and he settled down, sitting quietly and eventually fell asleep.

As I said Charlie is almost 4 months, he wakes up one to two times a night, I am fine with it because he falls asleep nursing so usually I am only up 15-20 minutes at the most. We haven't had to change his diaper middle of the night yet. NO LEAKS

Will we ever need to sleep train him? I am sure! I think we already have a good start.

My point is, I could not, and would not let my child CIO at 8 weeks, maybe fuss for 5 minutes that it takes for me to wake up and get to him but it never escalated to full on crying. This is just a personal thing, every baby is different, every Mommy is different and that is A - OK with me. What I like most about this forum is the collection of educated women that have different opinions and beliefs and are able to eloquently explain them selves and state their points without getting huffy!

So to each their own!

ETA: I just googled Feltman Brothers and their stuff is GORGEOUS

 

[lliang_chi]

Noel, Just delurking to say I'm happy your surgery went well. I wish you a speedy recovery. Glad you're home with your princess.

 

[noelwr]

HH - I love that you keep reassuring A you love him. that's a great tip I'm going to start using from now on.

Allie - yep, I also like that we can all share our different parenting "tricks" and respect each other.

 

[Puppmom]

My big guy is six months old today! We went to MIL's house for lunch and she baked him a cake.

re: CIO - not for me...at least not now. I do think that when people hear CIO they imagine babies crying hysterically for hours on end (I know I do!) but, for some, it's just a few minutes of fussing then off to sleep. So CIO looks different for different babies. RIght now, I enjoy my rocking chair time with N and I wait until he's asleep to put him down. It takes about five minutes or so and I love every second! MIL, on the other hand, rocks him for a minute or two then puts him in his crib. He sucks his thumb until he falls asleep - no crying at all.

Funny CIO story - my brother and SIL decided it was time for their son (he was 11 months old) to STTN. He was getting up for various reasons but was difficult to get back down. They bought a book and came up with a plan. That weekend, they decided to let him CIO. He woke like usual, they went in, gave him his paci, tucked him in, kissed him and left. He screamed and screamed for about 30 min to an hour until he fell off to sleep. They were so excited that it worked!...until morning when they went to get him and discovered that he had pooped all over himself and spread it all over the crib and the wall! We still joke about who got the last laugh on that one!

 

[AllieLuv83]

And this is why I have a video monitor. No poop will be spread in my house!

 

[AllieLuv83]

A late BPF addition.

We took a stroll in the snow today. I figure we should start to try to get out a few times a week, otherwise C gets cabin fever.

 

[Puppmom]

Gah! Charlie is such a looker!

 

[Kunzite]

We're still undecided on CIO, however, we have decided we need to photograph him in all of his moods.

 

[AllieLuv83]

We're still undecided on CIO, however, we have decided we need to photograph him in all of his moods.

ahhh what a cutie! I need to take a few pictures of Charlie being a pissy pants.

HH - I love the picture of Aidy on the sled. What a little cutie. I can't wait to get the boys together next time we are in town.

 

[Mara]

the babies are so cute..!! just love the squishy little faces. allie, charlie's eyes are so great!

re: CIO... i agree with cara re: babies not being able to 'manipulate' you. it's rather cause and effect or creating patterns or routines. and i do think that can happen very early on, why else would they tell you to create a bedtime routine or a positive routine almost as soon as you get the kid home? because eventually they DO catch onto it. i would imagine the same with a habit you don't necessarily want to encourage. when does it click in their brain? who knows. because of this, we chose to encourage pretty much only routines or habits we WANTED to encourage so we didn't have to worry about breaking any habits later. our son sleeps excellently and has since very early on, he was sleeping 7-8 hours at 8 weeks and 10 hours at ~12 weeks. do i think it was all us and none of him, no definitely not. i think it's a combo of the baby and the parents. looking back, i prob could have held him a little longer before bedtime or let him fall asleep on us a little more and 'spoiled' him more with no real adverse effects...we didn't encourage that very much after about 8 weeks. w

when he was young, ~6-7 weeks... i tried doing some CIO for his naps because i was trying to get him on a schedule before going back to work. 20/20 hindsight, i was way too stringent and trying to be too scheduled. he took forever to figure out his nap schedule instead of getting continuously better the way he did at night and who knows if the too-early CIO hurt my nap cause. but like noel said, some days i just was like... dude you'll be fine in there while i scarf down some food...AND i also admit to getting irritated at some points with the whole 'you're tired, why won't you nap??'. as a first time mom i think that everyone has those times when you aren't sure what to do. now looking back, i could have done a lot of things slightly differently and had a similar outcome.

anyway, my two cents on CIO. i think it totally works but everyone has to be in the right place, right time, right feeling. it's super hard to force it if you just don't feel like it's right. we tried it for him when he was doing his wakeful (4mo) and didn't really work, we tried again at 6mo when he started waking, and he didn't really take to it til almost 7-8mo. i still go in sometimes if i know he's sick or teething because like anyone, he wants a little comfort when he doesn't feel good. but after 3-4 nights he totally gets the habit of wanting us to come in, so we have to do a little CIO to get back on track. then he's fine.

there will always be blips in the schedule or the routine. but if you have a routine or a schedule you can ALWAYS get back to it. our blips have mostly always been fairly small but when you are in the thick of things you totally freak out wondering 'omg is he going to do this forever?!'.

speaking of my little boy... he'll be one on tuesday. i can't believe it!!! tomorrow at 1pm, 365 days ago we'll have been leaving for the hospital. he was born at 2am the next morning. he's walking unaided now, he's been gaining confidence all this week and wkd and it's so amazing to see him getting more confident with his steps and realizing he can go from living room to kitchen all by himself, though slowly. i saw him and G walking today with G holding his little hand and it was just ridiculous how old J looks, sometimes i am like 'WHO is this child?!!' we're having his party next wkd at my parent's house and it should be a great time.

 

[noelwr]

any good ideas for Valentine's Day?

I'm thinking of typing up a "Secret Valentine" card from Skye with a poem, but that it will be obvious that it's meant to be from her. and then send something from me to his office and go out to dinner.

 

[noelwr]

Skye 7 weeks

last week's pic

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Skye and Charlie and all these PS babies are so cute!!!!

 

[meresal]

Love the pics ladies!

Mara, how exciting that J is turning 1! Please post a video of that adorable little guy moving all over! We had some friends over last night, and they brought their 4 months old. C crawled over and pulled up onto the moms shoulder and reached out to "pet" his face. I was just like you and it finally hit me at how much older he is now! So surreal. I can't even imagine the thoughts once he starts to take his first steps.

Lanie- Thank you! We loved the gown and how not-feminine he looked in it! Strausberg is already expesinve, but they LOVE their Christening and Easter clothing! Just so you know, we had a white jon-jon made on etsy, with monogram, to put him in after the ceremony. We only had him in the gown for the actual service. They lady also made a monogrammed bib (Name and Christening date) that we are going to have framed with the after-outfit.

AFM:
C is starting to let go of the couch and coffee table for a few seconds, then grab it again... testing the waters. This is all going way to fast. He is growing up so quickly, but is just more and more fun at each stage.
My IL's watched him this weekend, and AGAIN my MIL slept in the same room as him WITH the dogs!!! WTF?!?! She also forgot that he eats 2 tubs of food at each meal (which he has been doing for at least 2 months), and even managed to think that he wasn't sleepy until MIDNIGHT, which I guess is a step up from 2am.

I told DH that he is in charge of dropping C off next time and he can try to get these basics across to her. I mean, she has 2 monitors (one audio and one video), why in the world do you feel the need to sleep in the same room with him, AND with DOGS?!?
Done.

Big News..........
I might be getting a new car today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IL's offered to watch C on Saturday so that DH and I could go to the car show, and spend the whole afternoon looking at every option possible. Well, I was so disappointed with all of the SUV's in our price range... but I fell in LOVE with another sports car. LOL.
We went straight to the dealership afterwards to test drive and it went great. We are headed back there this afternoon to make sure the car seats fit... and if they do, then we will hopefully have one within the week! (They dont have the one I want in Texas, so they have to try and have it brought in from another state, otherwise, we have to order it and have it in a few months.)
I am very picky about my cars, and wasn't really looking forward to driving an SUV. I like my cars fast, sporty, and I hate having one that you see at every stoplight, so this was a very hard for me. I was having a hard time finding a car that I loved as much as I loved my IS when I got it 9 years ago. But it happened, thank goodness!, and here is a pic: (We will be getting Black)

 

[noelwr]

mere - what model VW is it? my first car was a Passat (yes, a bit big for European standards). now we've got a SUV (Lexus), and I don't know how you can't love it, but anyhow, you will indeed look very sporty in your new VW.

haven't been following the story with your in-laws, but my mom does say that taking care of grandchildren is actually more stressful than your own child because you have the responsibility of someone else's child and IF something were to happen, how could you ever forgive yourself and your child ever forgive you? so maybe MIL feels more in control of nothing wrong happening (and thus you being cross at her for that) if C can be in her line of sight all the time. not justifying what she's doing, just seeing it from a different perspective.

 

[meresal]

Noel- I understand where you are coming from re: MIL, and I agree that their is probably added pressure. I could learn to deal with her sleeping in the room. However, I will never be ok with her "needing" the dogs to be in there with her. They go crazy at random times, and the dogs have 3 tags each on their collars that are very loud even when you aren't in a quiet room. (Last time, one of the dogs started barking at the newspaper delivery man at 5 AM, inside the room with the sleeping baby. Not only did he wake up screaming, she took him out of the PNP like he was ready to wake for the morning.)
My MIL thinks that these pets "need" her, but she is the one that "needs" them. It's insane to me that she can't detach herself from them for one evening.
Just another vent, but I was trying to feed C in his high chair yesterday, without distraction, and she threw a toy into the room I was in, which the greman shepherd bounded in the room to get and start playing with. Of course, C starts whipping his head back and forth trying to follow the dog around the room. She then walks in and says, no lie, "These dogs can be so distracting, can't they?" My jaw almost hit the floor. So irritated. She doesn't think.

I have told her numerous times that he doesn't sleep well when we have to share rooms at hotels and other house, since he is used to his own room and no distractions. She chooses to disregard this, and IMO, is not good for C. He sleeps horribly over there. During naps and at night.

It is a VW CC R-line. It is their sport sedan. Thank you!
I got my Lexus in 2002. My dream SUV is the GX470... but since that was out of our price range, I just couldn't find another SUV that I liked, and fits my criteria. The RX is pretty, but they are a dime a dozen around my area, and I have been given them before when my car is being worked on. If just isn't really "me".

 

[icekid]

Hi mamas... I don't have time for a full post, as the little man is waking up and I never seem to have hands free to type! But I am always reading and loving the baby pics!

I did want to ask all of the working mommies how they decided on daycare vs nanny. Work is coming up fast only three weeks away. My MIL is going to come and watch him for two weeks, then my dad for a week, and then we still have no solid plans. And I cannot even start with the basic nanny vs daycare question! Overall, it would be great for us to have a nanny, someone who will truly help raise Jumper due to our awful schedules at the moment. But trusting a stranger to come into your home and care for your infant is such a huge leap. Whereas with daycare, there is always more than one person there to provide some checks and balances. Daycare is certainly less expensive, but that is not really going to weigh into our decision. Daycare is probably also more reliable, in that they are available and do not need sick days, personal days, vacation days. But the idea of more attention, more in-home convenience is appealing too. Hubby and I are just... SO CONFUSED!

Tell me how you made your decision, pretty please. I will even post a Jumper two months picture as bribery!

 

[noelwr]

icekid - I like the socializing aspect of daycare. I had a nanny growing up, and I was always really shy, preferred to play on my own. now even in my apartment building, I do my best to avoid neighbors - I just don't like strangers. it probably has nothing to do with the nanny, but I know in general that Dutch kids have big mouths and I want my little girl to learn to stand her ground instead of get "bullied" by a kid who isn't scared to say what he thinks, even how rude he may be. I often feel "bullied" by Dutch people when out to the shop and someone cuts in front of me or something like that. I don't want her to be like me.

 

[Puppmom]

Ice, what a cute kid! I can’t really give any input on a nanny but MIL watches N and, while it’s WONDERFUL, there are drawbacks. The main issue is her availability. Everyone needs days off so – when she’s sick, has an appointment, the weather is bad or is on vacation we have NO childcare. I basically use all of my PTO for when she wants to take the day off. It’s totally worth it but daycare is definitely more reliable. The other aspects that I think would be easier with DC are things like getting the kid off the paci or bottle or potty training. These are things daycares have done a zillion times and are really helpful with. I feel like MIL might be a little but of a softy when it comes to some of the above but she could prove me wrong!

Here’s what’s awesome about having MIL with N instead of daycare. There’s the obvious like the fact that she’s actually helping to raise him and loves him like her own. Then there are things like the opportunity to do things that we can’t do with him often because of our busy schedules. She’ll take him to swim lessons in the spring and story time at the library and a music class and mommy groups…this way, he gets the best of both worlds – lots of fun experiences and interaction with other children with the security of a single caregiver. Also, she does what we ask her. To some extent, daycare will too but they have their own policies about discipline, schedules etc. Last, he gets to be at home AND we don’t have to take him anywhere. Your time with Jumper is precious and you can spend more quality time with him if, before work, you get to just wait for the nanny to arrive instead of lugging him to DC…same when you get home.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

We send A to a very small, in home daycare and I think it's a nice combo of the daycare environment and the one-on-one relationship you get with a nanny. Our sitter only has 6 kids, 2 are 2 (one is only part time) , 2 are 5-6 mo (one is only part time) and the other two are only there after school. So she rarely has all kids at once. Aidan and one toddler are the only full timers. Staci loves A like he's her own and has worked wonders with getting him on a schedule,etc.

 

[Loves Vintage]

Icekid, Jumper is so handsome, especially in that first pic you posted!!! Gah!

We are in exactly the same place as you re: nanny vs. daycare. In the week before my due date, I started to get nervous about the prospects of finding a good nanny, so decided it would be a good idea to visit a daycare center before the baby arrived. Have you visited any daycares? That might help give you the info you need to make your decision, though that has not been the case for us. This daycare was awesome! I would feel very very safe bringing Samantha there. In fact, once she gets older, I am already sold on the place and would like her to go there. It's very close to my work too, which is a bit of a ride from home, so it's convenient too. The main concern, however, is GERMS. I am not prepared for this little one to get sick when she is so small. So, yeah, I have no idea what to do. I know it sounds terribly naive that I don't want her to get sick, but yeah, I don't, and she'd have less chance of getting sick if a nanny came in. With a nanny, there is that slight risk that I wind up on the Today show with Matt Lauer begging the nanny to bring my baby back. Yes, lots of worries!!

Seriously though, I would have to say, we are leaning toward daycare. It helped to see how nice this particular daycare was. We should probably interview a few nannies too, but I have to admit, I am a terrible judge of character, so not sure that would help!!

 

[Puppmom]

LV, good point about visiting a daycare if you're on the fence. My 1YO nephew LOVES daycare. He is seriously so happy there. It makes my brother and sister in law feel so great to see him run off to play with the other kids when they get there. His DC caregivers really do care about him too. They email pictures and accomplishments. It's very nice and makes them feel really involved.

HH, DD went to an in-home daycare and I agree it is sort of a best of both worlds. We were part of a *network* so DD could go to another caregiver who happened to live across the street from her primary caregiver in the event of illness etc. That was a definite bonus.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Thought I would add some comments about CIO from the perspective of a mother of an older child.

I did not believe in CIO and did all sorts of things to help Hunter learn to sleep on his own from a young age.

He slept on my chest the first 4 weeks, then we transitioned him to his crib, swaddled etc, around 4 weeks. We used the baby whisperer "pick-up-put-down" method to teach him to fall asleep without nursiong to sleep, and that did take a while but it worked. And at 3 months he was doing great -- woke only once in the night to nurse and then right back to sleep, no poops at night. Totally manageable.

Then around 4 months for some reason his patterns changed and he started waking more and more at nigth, twice for sure, but often three times and sometimes four times. We tried everything, and nothing worked but to nurse him until drowsy, sometimes for as short at 5 minutes.

So I hit my last straw and used CIO at 9 months old. I knew he was ready because he did not drink much at night, and when he woke he was not hungry/thirsty because he drank at night. And I could not keep getting up that often It took 2 nights and then voila, he sleeps 12 hours per night as has until now, at two years old.

Now when he wakes we know there is a reason, and he still often goes through period where he wakes once in the night for a drink of milk, or for a little snuggle. And we are ok with that because we know he can sleep long period and there is usually a good reason why he is waking.

This time round we will likely do the same thing, but I might use CIO a little sooner if needed. I think Hunter was ready closer to 8 months, but I was not and we were moving so it was not a good time.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I did want to ask all of the working mommies how they decided on daycare vs nanny. Work is coming up fast only three weeks away. My MIL is going to come and watch him for two weeks, then my dad for a week, and then we still have no solid plans. And I cannot even start with the basic nanny vs daycare question! Overall, it would be great for us to have a nanny, someone who will truly help raise Jumper due to our awful schedules at the moment. But trusting a stranger to come into your home and care for your infant is such a huge leap. Whereas with daycare, there is always more than one person there to provide some checks and balances. Daycare is certainly less expensive, but that is not really going to weigh into our decision. Daycare is probably also more reliable, in that they are available and do not need sick days, personal days, vacation days. But the idea of more attention, more in-home convenience is appealing too. Hubby and I are just... SO CONFUSED!

Just to add to the confusion, many/most daycares have rules about kids coming to daycare when they are sick. For us, it meant that when Hunter was starting daycare and thus was sick ALL THE TIME, he had to stay home. The sick all the time phase passed, but it was really hard. With a Nanny, it happens much less often from what I hear from my friends with Nanny's.

We opted for group care but Hunter was 10 months old when he started. If I was looking for care for a younger child I would opt for a Nanny. The benefits of group care -- I think kids really do thrive in little gaggles, like geese -- seem to be to really start when they become more social. Under 12 months and I personally would want a 1-on-1 caregiver scenerio.

 

[Sha]

Ditto Dreamer. I like the idea of a nanny/small in-home daycare for babies under 10 months, and a larger, more structured daycare for older babies.

My daughter went to a small home daycare from 4-10 months, and a larger place from 10 months on (because the home daycare had to move). The pros of the home daycare were that D lots of attention and almost-motherly care, which was important to me at her young age, especially transitioning from being home with me for 4 months.The daycare only had a few children so it wasn't too overwhelming for her and there weren't too many germs flowing around. When we switched to the larger daycare, I was worried that D would get lost in a more crowded environment with less one-and-one care. However, it hasn't been too bad with the teacher-child ratio they have there. I like that it's a structured environment with lots of stimulation and activities throughout the day - especially now that she's more active. She also seems to enjoy interacting with the other children there, and I think that interaction has helped her develop a lot, socially and otherwise. I think it's great too that she has a group of 'friends' she can spend her preschool years with. Another plus is that if one of the teacheres is sick/on vacation there's always somebody else to cover.

The major con is that she gets a cold pretty regularly, and so do I (I have one right now! ) ....She's also had ringworm and pharygngitis (sp?..sore throat) For the first 6 weeks after she started there, she was pretty much sick all the time - it's settled down a lot now, but she still gets a cold pretty regularly. OUr daycare doesn't have a sick policy like most other centers, though.

 

[somethingshiny]

Another view on CIO from a mom with an older child.

I used CIO on JT very early. Like a week or two old. My peers convinced me that a "good" baby would learn and happily sleep through the night if you were a "good" mom. Sure, it worked. He screamed in his crib as I sat outside and cried. He got it pretty quickly though. He was very colicky and I think he needed comfort that I was neglecting him at times. He's a great sleeper and has been since 3 months. It hasn't harmed him in any way. It did more harm to me and I can't do it with Lily. Maybe someday. but not yet. All babies are different and it's ok if you change your mind halfway through any training process. Trust yourself to do what's right for your baby.

 

[Sha]

CIO totally worked for us too (for sleep training), but we didn't do it full force until D was about 6 months.

 

[blushingbride]

Hi All!

Just wanted to chime in on the CIO topic and ask some questions about transitioning to solids.

We never had to use the CIO technique on our twins (I'm knocking on wood so I don't jinx it). It was around 2 months when we first set up a nightime routine. They took to it very well. We also used and still use the baby crack machine (the Homedics Sound Spa) every night and now they're at the point where they fall asleep before even looking at the projection on the ceiling. We also tried to not disupt them at night by picking them up or talking to them. I remember they would wake up once at 3am for a feeding and then that went to 4am, then 5am, etc. and now they wake up 7:30/8am. It's wonderful! We do have an occasional night where I'll here one start to cry on the monitor in the middle of the nite so, I'll run in and put a pacifier in their mouth. We know we are very lucky to have to great sleepers, but I agree with Mara, it's definitely a combination of what the baby does and what the parents do in order to help with the sleeping habbits.

So, we got the green light to introduce rice cereal, water, fruits and veggies. I made the decision not to make their baby food since I've gone back to work part-time and have two babies. I just want to spend my free time doing other things and not worrying about making enough food, etc. So, we are using Earth's Best Organic baby food.

For those who used EB or other brands, I read on the bottle that we can keep openned food in the jar for 3 days, but how did you ladies reheat it? Last night I but the jar in our bottle warmer and steamed it to take the chill off. Is it OK to microwave if I make sure to mix it up well?

Also, when did you introduce water and how much did you give at first?

Finally, our Dr. said that in the beginning we should pick a time in between feedings when the babies are happy to feed them rice cereal/baby food. Eventually, we want to start feeding them the solids before their bottle (I am still pumping and supplementing with formula)...how many times a day did you feed your babies solids (2 or 3)? How much did you give them? Just wondering how you all made this transition smoothly.

Thanks in advance ladies!

 

[Mara]

hey blushing..! wow how old are the twins now? congrats on doing so well with them, it sounds like you have your schedule/routines all worked out!

when we started intro'ing solids we just did it for fun on wkds like around 'breakfast' time. i didn't care about # of times he got it a day or whatever, we just wanted to make it fun. and then as he got more interested we added a 2nd in near dinner. we perfected those 2 before adding in a 3rd... i was in no rush to add a 3rd meal in and kind of let J lead us. over time he seemed less interested in the liquid and more interested in food so that's when we started beefing up the meals more. i think at first it can be really daunting because you want to do it 'right' or as you mentioned a smooth transition but in reality i think that you just kind of can go with the flow, do what feels ok, what you have TIME for (i'm a working mom too so i wanted to just do it for when we were all comfortable with times etc) and then you can take more cues from the baby. as J got more into solids he'd want more and more. and now he just turned 12mo and he's only taking 2 bottles a day (10oz total maybe), drinking from a sippy and also with a straw from a cup, and eating solids the rest of the time. i do worry about is he getting enough food, enough meat etc...but i think you can see from their growth patterns on if they are going ok.

so i say just start with when you have time to do it, maybe on a wkd and then go from there. we started with oatmeal cereal because he was already getting some rice in his bottles so we knew he was fine with it, and the oats had more nutrition. for first 'foods' we did avocado and then i think apple or pear. also, they may or may not act like they like something, that's totally ok..it's new to them. J didn't seem interested in the avocado much at first, but now he LOVES avocados and eats 1/2 of one every day. enjoy!!

 

[Puppmom]

Oh, Mara! I forgot J’s birthday was yesterday! Happy First Birthday to Mr. Julian!


…I’ll be make to chime in with my questions about solids.