PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

[cdt1101]

Date: 11/23/2009 2:37:45 PM
Author: KimberlyH
CDT, what a great picture. And that Santa looks so nice (you know how sometimes they can look really scary and evil!?).

He was!!! Really patient since Lex would only really look at him, not at that camera (he was so fascinated by Santa). And he was really authentic looking too!! He had the real beard and everything!

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 11/23/2009 1:57:44 PM
Author: phoenixgirl
So I had my follow up ob/gyn appointment today (1.5 weeks early because of Thanksgiving or something), and my ridiculously blunt doctor exclaimed, 'Whoa! You are so narrow! You're never going to deliver a baby vaginally!' That's what she said at my 36 week appointment, but at every subsequent appointment she remarked about how good she felt about my pelvis, and while she had her arm up in my business trying to turn Claire during contractions she didn't mention it being too narrow, so I'm just going to assume that in my non-about-to-give-birth state I have a narrow pelvis, but nature takes care of things like that. But thanks for being so tactful and encouraging, doctor. She actually more amuses me than bothers me, but still . . .

She also didn't recommend an IUD unless we want to wait more than a couple of years to have our second baby, so I'm going on the minipill for now. She said she could fit me for a diaphragm, but I don't like the odds with those.


Fiery, Claire is one month old exactly today. We are wondering about a growth spurt. I'm glad things are going better for you at home. I think men just need time to figure these things out.

Tao, glad you had a nice meal out!

Pandora, you too!

We had a nice dinner out last week while my mom was here, and I got to 'pump and dump' for the first time. I tried to drink a cocktail before dinner but as I had not had one since before I got pregnant, I instantly felt drunk after just a few sips (although that must have been in my head), so I traded and had DH's beer and a glass of wine with dinner. I didn't finish either drink, but almost 2 drinks definitely hit me more than they used to despite my increased weight.

Speaking of, sigh . . . I am wearing my sister's jeans right now. Not that I would have thought I could wear my pre-pregnancy clothes only one month out, but as I had lost weight a few years back, I have 5 different sizes of pants, and I can't even fit into the biggest size. I thought surely one of those sizes would fit me and I wouldn't need to keep wearing maternity stuff or buy new clothes in yet another size. But I'm very grateful to my sister for loaning me 3 pairs of jeans because it was just too depressing to keep wearing track pants all the time.

So I put on FB how Claire moved into her own bedroom the other night, and all these other moms of 6 to 9 month old babies commented that their babies are still waking up several times a night and therefore still rooming in with them. To each her own, but I really hope Claire is not waking up more than once a night at that point in her life; in fact, I'm hoping we can STTN in a month or two. Last night Claire made it until 3:30 after the 10:30 feeding. Then I woke her up to eat at 7 because I didn't want to get started too late in terms of working her feeding around my doctor's appointment, but I would have let her go until 7:30 a.m. otherwise. So I am thinking that if I can try to get her eating around 10:00 p.m. every night, we'll have a good chance of a single middle of the night feeding and a reasonable early morning feed of 6:30 or 7 a.m. If she eats more like 9 p.m., then she'll almost definitely need two feedings over night. I know you can't always plan these things but I would love to have every night go like last night (which means I am definitely jinxing it by typing this!).

I wish you luck!

At 6 months Daisy is going to bed around 7.30 - 8.00pm, she'll wake up around 10pm and again around 12.30pm and then at least once during the night before waking up at 7.15am.

I'm pretty thrilled to have her on this schedule, but it took 5 months and finally moving her into our bed to achieve it.

On the rooming in, I don't know what the advice is in the USA, but here we are strongly advised to keep the baby in the parents room at night for the first 6 months as it significantly reduces the risk of SIDS

 

[cdt1101]

Date: 11/23/2009 2:56:30 PM
Author: Pandora II

Date: 11/23/2009 1:57:44 PM

Author: phoenixgirl

So I had my follow up ob/gyn appointment today (1.5 weeks early because of Thanksgiving or something), and my ridiculously blunt doctor exclaimed, ''Whoa! You are so narrow! You''re never going to deliver a baby vaginally!'' That''s what she said at my 36 week appointment, but at every subsequent appointment she remarked about how good she felt about my pelvis, and while she had her arm up in my business trying to turn Claire during contractions she didn''t mention it being too narrow, so I''m just going to assume that in my non-about-to-give-birth state I have a narrow pelvis, but nature takes care of things like that. But thanks for being so tactful and encouraging, doctor. She actually more amuses me than bothers me, but still . . .


She also didn''t recommend an IUD unless we want to wait more than a couple of years to have our second baby, so I''m going on the minipill for now. She said she could fit me for a diaphragm, but I don''t like the odds with those.



Fiery, Claire is one month old exactly today. We are wondering about a growth spurt. I''m glad things are going better for you at home. I think men just need time to figure these things out.


Tao, glad you had a nice meal out!


Pandora, you too!


We had a nice dinner out last week while my mom was here, and I got to ''pump and dump'' for the first time. I tried to drink a cocktail before dinner but as I had not had one since before I got pregnant, I instantly felt drunk after just a few sips (although that must have been in my head), so I traded and had DH''s beer and a glass of wine with dinner. I didn''t finish either drink, but almost 2 drinks definitely hit me more than they used to despite my increased weight.


Speaking of, sigh . . . I am wearing my sister''s jeans right now. Not that I would have thought I could wear my pre-pregnancy clothes only one month out, but as I had lost weight a few years back, I have 5 different sizes of pants, and I can''t even fit into the biggest size. I thought surely one of those sizes would fit me and I wouldn''t need to keep wearing maternity stuff or buy new clothes in yet another size. But I''m very grateful to my sister for loaning me 3 pairs of jeans because it was just too depressing to keep wearing track pants all the time.


So I put on FB how Claire moved into her own bedroom the other night, and all these other moms of 6 to 9 month old babies commented that their babies are still waking up several times a night and therefore still rooming in with them. To each her own, but I really hope Claire is not waking up more than once a night at that point in her life; in fact, I''m hoping we can STTN in a month or two. Last night Claire made it until 3:30 after the 10:30 feeding. Then I woke her up to eat at 7 because I didn''t want to get started too late in terms of working her feeding around my doctor''s appointment, but I would have let her go until 7:30 a.m. otherwise. So I am thinking that if I can try to get her eating around 10:00 p.m. every night, we''ll have a good chance of a single middle of the night feeding and a reasonable early morning feed of 6:30 or 7 a.m. If she eats more like 9 p.m., then she''ll almost definitely need two feedings over night. I know you can''t always plan these things but I would love to have every night go like last night (which means I am definitely jinxing it by typing this!).

I wish you luck!


At 6 months Daisy is going to bed around 7.30 - 8.00pm, she''ll wake up around 10pm and again around 12.30pm and then at least once during the night before waking up at 7.15am.


I''m pretty thrilled to have her on this schedule, but it took 5 months and finally moving her into our bed to achieve it.

Every baby is SO different. It may work that she only wakes 1 or 2 times a night, it may not. Lex started STTN at 9 weeks (meaning he would go 6+ hours w/out waking). He would go down at 6:00pm, we did a "dream feed" at 11:00, and then he slept until like 5 or 6 in the morning. He pretty much kept that schedule (although we had a month where he would also wake at 4am, eat, then sleep until 6:00am). He just started the past couple of weeks going 10+ hours w/out waking at all. Last night he managed 7pm-6:30am. But I KNOW how lucky we are! And while I did try to "train" him early on, I really think sleeping patterns for the most part are the nature of the baby. I wish you LOTS of luck!!!

 

[MonkeyPie]

*sigh* I love this thread. I can''t wait to move over here lol.

Fiery, omg, Sophia is SO cute. I love the feet chewing - it''s the only time in life that putting your feet in your mouth is cute lol. And all that hair!

cdt, what a sweet Santa pic! He looks so happy to be sitting with Santa - I have seen too many babies scream when Santa picks them up. Something about that crazy beard lol.

And I promise, I will not be surprised when at 2 weeks my previously "sweet" baby goes evil on me. I have heard enough of you ladies tell us PG ones about it that I believe you!

 

[fieryred33143]

Blen-Sorry I don''t have any advice but I did use meetup.com once to find a local mommy group. They all seemed very nice. Unfortunately (for me) most of the activites were during the weekday and I couldn''t make it.

CDT-I love that pic of Lex! That''s probably the first smiley pic of a baby with Santa that I''ve seen in a while!

PG-Sophia doesn''t STTN but she''s in her own room and I don''t mind getting up. Well, except after 4:30. Something happens to me after 4:30 that I seriously cannot lift myself off of bed and I stomp like a child all the way to her room lol. That''s why Mr. Fiery took over after 5am so that I can function like a normal person. For us, it was the best decision moving her to her room. She''s a super light sleeper (that''s why we love our sound machine) and even just me laying my head on my pillow would wake her up

Happy month day to Claire!

 

[Dreamer_D]

MP LOL! Good! Hunter was a madmad at 2-4 weeks!

Blen We mostly just go on walks and errends, to the mall, to my office, shopping etc. Some friends of mine have mom groups, but its hard to find like-minded moms KWIM? I am a snob when it comes to the smarts of people I hang out with and it is hard to randomly find a group of moms who I really click with!

Too bad PS wasn''t IRL, eh?

Pheonix I wish you well but I don''t know personally or on PS a single EBF baby who slept through the night -- for real not 6 hours -- prior to a year or more without using CIO. Hunter was still waking 2-3 times a night when we finally cracked and used CIO at 9 months old. And he was a GREAT sleeper up until 4 months old! Now he sleeps 11 hours a night without a peep.

***

Sleep Question

So Hunter has decided now that he is sleeping 11 hours straight each night that waking at 6am is the best thing ever! He goes down between 7-8pm depending on when his last nap was and sleeps until 6am, so he gets 10-11 hours of sleep in the night. It doesn''t really matter if we put him down a little earlier or a little later, his body just wakes at 6am it seems. But I don''t wanna get up at 6!!

When do your babies who STTN wake up? Any idea how to get him to sleep in later? We tried letting him just CIO but he didn''t go back to sleep and then it was 7am and time to get up anyways

Is 6am just the normal time for babies to wake up???

 

[cdt1101]

Date: 11/23/2009 3:47:06 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie
MP LOL! Good! Hunter was a madmad at 2-4 weeks!


Blen We mostly just go on walks and errends, to the mall, to my office, shopping etc. Some friends of mine have mom groups, but its hard to find like-minded moms KWIM? I am a snob when it comes to the smarts of people I hang out with and it is hard to randomly find a group of moms who I really click with!

Too bad PS wasn't IRL, eh?


Pheonix I wish you well but I don't know personally or on PS a single EBF baby who slept through the night -- for real not 6 hours -- prior to a year or more without using CIO. Hunter was still waking 2-3 times a night when we finally cracked and used CIO at 9 months old. And he was a GREAT sleeper up until 4 months old! Now he sleeps 11 hours a night without a peep.


***


Sleep Question


So Hunter has decided now that he is sleeping 11 hours straight each night that waking at 6am is the best thing ever! He goes down between 7-8pm depending on when his last nap was and sleeps until 6am, so he gets 10-11 hours of sleep in the night. It doesn't really matter if we put him down a little earlier or a little later, his body just wakes at 6am it seems. But I don't wanna get up at 6!!

When do your babies who STTN wake up? Any idea how to get him to sleep in later? We tried letting him just CIO but he didn't go back to sleep and then it was 7am and time to get up anyways

Is 6am just the normal time for babies to wake up???

I just had this convo w/ a good friend of mine, and for both of us, our little ones wake up early! The latest Lex has ever slept is to 7:00am. Normally though he's ready to start his day at 5:30

If you figure a way to have them sleep later, let me know

ETA - And I have tried putting him to bed later, and it actually makes it worse! He gets up earlier the later I put him down. I think Hunter may just be a morning baby

 

[fieryred33143]

Thank you MP!

 

[cdt1101]

Date: 11/23/2009 3:27:30 PM
Author: MonkeyPie
*sigh* I love this thread. I can''t wait to move over here lol.


Fiery, omg, Sophia is SO cute. I love the feet chewing - it''s the only time in life that putting your feet in your mouth is cute lol. And all that hair!


cdt, what a sweet Santa pic! He looks so happy to be sitting with Santa - I have seen too many babies scream when Santa picks them up. Something about that crazy beard lol.


And I promise, I will not be surprised when at 2 weeks my previously ''sweet'' baby goes evil on me. I have heard enough of you ladies tell us PG ones about it that I believe you!

Thanks MP!!! We were lucky! THere was a little girl around his age before us and she was JUST NOT HAVING it!! She was terrified of Santa...

 

[MustangGal]

DD - Kyle goes down at 7-8pm, and wakes at 6am. We''ve tried moving it earlier or later, but he still wakes at 6am! It''s not too big a deal for us, DH has to leave for work at 5am, and I leave with Kyle at 6:45am, so we both go to bed early. I would have thought that it staying dark later would help (AZ doesn''t do the time change thing), but no, it didn''t make a difference

 

[mia1181]

Dreamer- as you know, I''m not a mom but I can tell you from nanny experience some kiddos just wake up early.

I know the Healthy Sleep Habits book recommends putting the baby down earlier at night because more sleep = more sleep (I know it''s counterintuitive), but I think this usually applies to babies that aren''t getting enough sleep. At 10-11 hours a night I think Hunter is getting enough.

So I''m not sure there is much that you can do. Have you tried darkening his room? I mean really cover the window so it is dark and he isn''t waking from the morning sun. Good luck!

 

[TravelingGal]

DD, sorry girl...kids naturally wake up earlier if they are put to bed at a decent hour and are getting enough sleep. Hehehe.

Amelia gets between 6:30-6:45. However, we have ALWAYS conditioned her not to expect us to come flying in when she wakes up. Nothing worse than a screaming kid in the morning, especially if they wake up too early. So I saunter in there at 7:15-7:30. She''ll usually just sings to herself and seems to enjoy doing so.

The only other thing I can think of is the darkening of the room per mia''s suggestion, but I hear it doesn''t always help.

 

[mela lu]

Romeo wakes up at 6am too. Like clockwork. We''ve tried moving his bedtime slightly in both directions, but it seems 6 am is when his body wants to wake up. DH get up with him, changes him and then brings him to bed for me to feed. I''m kinda used to it, even though 7am would be my preference. ho hum.

Phoenix - we had Romy STTN (12 hrs) at 16 weeks by using a bit of CIO (to eliminate that one night feeding). I think he would have been ready earlier but we were dealing with jet lag, so I didnt want to push it. Just know, it IS possible at that age

***PANDORA**** is your Kuster Jelly Baby Change mat "crumbling"? Mine is!!! the edges are all crumbling away. I''m so upset!

 

[snlee]

Date: 11/23/2009 3:47:06 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie
Sleep Question
So Hunter has decided now that he is sleeping 11 hours straight each night that waking at 6am is the best thing ever! He goes down between 7-8pm depending on when his last nap was and sleeps until 6am, so he gets 10-11 hours of sleep in the night. It doesn''t really matter if we put him down a little earlier or a little later, his body just wakes at 6am it seems. But I don''t wanna get up at 6!!

When do your babies who STTN wake up? Any idea how to get him to sleep in later? We tried letting him just CIO but he didn''t go back to sleep and then it was 7am and time to get up anyways

Is 6am just the normal time for babies to wake up???

I agree it''s natural for kids to be up early when they are going to bed at a decent hour. D goes to bed around 7:15-8pm and wakes up around 7-730am on average. Sometimes he''s up as early as 6am and when we get lucky he''ll sleep till 8am. He sleeps 11-12 hours so I can''t complain much. But waking up early sucks big time! I am NOT a morning person but it looks like my days of sleeping in are long gone! I called my parents house at 9:45am over the weekend and they were still sleeping. DH and I were like WHAT? What''s wrong with them!? Guess we are so used to getting up around 7am EVERY morning.

I know this isn''t the best habit to form but sometimes when D is up at 6am, crying his head off and won''t go back to sleep, we bring him into bed with us and he''ll fall back to sleep or just lay there quitly while DH and I try to get a little more sleep. You may want to give that a try. Then you can stay in bed till 7 or 8am.

 

[neatfreak]

Sorry Dreamer-not much you can do. Kids just generally get up early and some earlier than others. Mine get up about 7 but there isn''t anything we are doing to get them to sleep that "late".

How I never thought I would say sleeping until 7 is late...

 

[Pandora II]

Mela - mine is fine, a couple of dings in the middle bit but otherwise no damage at all. Sorry!

Just wanted to check, but is Romy going 12 hours between feeds at night or are you adding them in? D is such a quick feeder that I know she isn''t using me as a paci at night, but she takes a full side every time she feeds at night. During the day she will eat every 3 hours or so - again a full feed each time. Her weight gain has been firmly at the 75th percentile since birth, so it''s not as if she''s putting on excess weight or anything.

I couldn''t do CIO even if I wanted to as she goes straight off to sleep with no problems. If she wakes up in the evening I get a choice - nip in at the first squeak and feed her back to sleep, or let her cry at which point she is fully awake and wants to get up and play (the first option takes 5 minutes of my time, the second takes 3 hours so it''s a no brainer), with the nightfeeds, she doesn''t cry, she just turns over and latches on, so I''m probably better to let her do that rather than risk her waking up at which point I''d have to wake-up too!

Blen, what are you doing with George as you are also a EBF bed-sharer! Has George starting solids made a big difference?

Daisy is a 7.15am waker except at weekends when the alarm goes off - then she wakes at anytime between 8.30 and 10.00. I am so NOT a morning person and I hope that she isn''t too much of one either!

 

[Blenheim]

Sleep- we alternate whose house we eat dinner at each night, and so George usually doesn''t get to bed until we get back around 9 pm. He sleeps from then until sometime shortly before dawn, at which point I feed him and he immediately falls back asleep. We get up for the day around 8 am. He usually sleeps for that long stretch, but occasionally he won''t feel good or something and will wake up a couple of times, and I handle it the same way that Pandora does. I didn''t really do anything too get him into this schedule; we just fell into it before we moved. Before then he was going to bed sometime around 6-7 pm, waking up around 10 pm for a feed, and then sleeping until 6 am. I haven''t noticed solids making a difference in anything except how gross his poop is.

Fiery- thanks for the website recommendation!! I''ve found a couple of groups that have potential.

DD- PS being RL would be great. It can be so hard to meet people who we really click with. My friends in this area are all very child-free and work full-time, and I''d like to interact some with other moms as well. I think I"m going to try out a couple of the moms groups and see how it goes. I don''t have too much to do in terms of errands other than weekly grocery shopping and going to the mall makes me want to buy stuff and so I should probably avoid that, LOL.

CDT - so cute!!!! I wanna do Santa pics now.

 

[mela lu]

Date: 11/23/2009 6:19:27 PM
Author: Pandora II
Just wanted to check, but is Romy going 12 hours between feeds at night or are you adding them in?

I feed Romeo at:

7am
11am
3pm
7pm


That''s it. Thats all. Zero in the night...

 

[Dreamer_D]

Well, thanks everyone for your responses! But seriously, that is sooooo not good news!

When Hunter woke 2-3 times a night he slept until about 7 or 7:30. But now that it is an 11 hour stretch in a row and he is night weaned he is up at 6am. We can''t darken the room because it is dark here until 7am

. I think that is just when he wants to get up! Like Mela, DH gets him and brings him in bed and I nurse him and we can get an extra 30 minutes out of that before he starts trying to climb all over us and up the bed frame and generally use us as a jungle gym!

TGAL Right now when Hunter wakes up he is starving! I don''t think we could leave him to amuse himself. When he woke 2-3 times and wasn''t hungry in the morning he would amuse himself singing etc. for a half hour or more, but now I don''t think that would fly.

Pandora I thought that Hunter needed the night feeds as well, and it felt like he was doing a big full feed on each side every time I nursed him, but after a while it became apparent that he was actualy doing his big feeds at night and then only snacking in the day. Since night weaning I have noticed he feeds MUCH differently in the daytime. But I really don''t think that night weaning and CIO make sense when you are co-sleeping. What you are doing makes more sense.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 11/23/2009 8:29:09 PM
Author: mela lu

Date: 11/23/2009 6:19:27 PM
Author: Pandora II
Just wanted to check, but is Romy going 12 hours between feeds at night or are you adding them in?

I feed Romeo at:

7am
11am
3pm
7pm


That''s it. Thats all. Zero in the night...

And although Hunter is older, I thought I would add that I also do not feed him at night, but he feeds on demand during the daytime, which works out to be a little more frequently than Romy. He tends to do 3 hourw between feeds but will do an extra one in the morning sometimes.

 

[gailrmv]

Dreamer Honestly? I would just be thrilled for 11 hours straight and not worry too much about the 6 am. He naps, too, right? I'm kind of really jealous. A gets to be about 8 and is up usually 2x to eat, then up about 8 for the day. I can totally deal with that except for the days when he decides to wake up 3+ times a night, or the times that I stay up too late myself!


Sleep question of my own So I just reread the HSHHC book and it is pretty clear on what A should be doing at this age (8 months).

HSHHC Schedule:
Bed between 6 and 8 pm
up by 7 am
nap at 9 am and 1 pm.

The schedule that we've fallen into is much more flexible.

A's schedule:
Bedtime between 7:30-8:30pm
Usually up midnight and 4am to eat
Up for the day any time between 7:30 and 9 (often around 8 am)
Nap mid day, often around 11 (usually 1 hour)
Nap again mid afternoon sometimes - flexible time depending on what we are doing and when he seems tired.

Sometimes he fights one or the other nap and only has one for the day.

I tried having him more scheduled when he was younger and I think it was frustrating for me and him. But maybe now that he's older, it would work better. The flexible schedule is better *for me*. I am able to have some flexibility in our day and plan things like lunch with a friend, etc. which really helps keep me sane. Having a flexible routine is working well for me, but I don't want to be selfish if the other is better for him. HSHHC is pretty clear that the above schedule is what he should be doing. What do you guys think, should I get us on that schedule or keep doing what's working for us now?

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 11/23/2009 9:22:54 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

TGAL Right now when Hunter wakes up he is starving! I don''t think we could leave him to amuse himself. When he woke 2-3 times and wasn''t hungry in the morning he would amuse himself singing etc. for a half hour or more, but now I don''t think that would fly.

I''m not advocating leaving him for an hour. Just start with 10 or 15 minutes. He won''t die, as you know.

It teaches them that you don''t come running when they wake up. Trust me, this is a huge help as you go on. Great for naps too for those days for whatever reason they don''t nap long enough. They just stay in their cribs because they know it''s still naptime, regardless of whether they are sleeping or not.

 

[gailrmv]

Date: 11/23/2009 9:58:36 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 11/23/2009 9:22:54 PM

Author: dreamer_dachsie


TGAL Right now when Hunter wakes up he is starving! I don''t think we could leave him to amuse himself. When he woke 2-3 times and wasn''t hungry in the morning he would amuse himself singing etc. for a half hour or more, but now I don''t think that would fly.

I''m not advocating leaving him for an hour. Just start with 10 or 15 minutes. He won''t die, as you know.

It teaches them that you don''t come running when they wake up. Trust me, this is a huge help as you go on. Great for naps too for those days for whatever reason they don''t nap long enough. They just stay in their cribs because they know it''s still naptime, regardless of whether they are sleeping or not.

TGal,
I was editing my post above to add MY sleep question while you were posting to DD. So probably you didn''t see my sleep question, but I''m curious as to your thoughts!

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 11/23/2009 9:52:48 PM
Author: TanDogMom
I tried having him more scheduled when he was younger and I think it was frustrating for me and him. But maybe now that he''s older, it would work better. The flexible schedule is better *for me*. I am able to have some flexibility in our day and plan things like lunch with a friend, etc. which really helps keep me sane. Having a flexible routine is working well for me, but I don''t want to be selfish if the other is better for him. HSHHC is pretty clear that the above schedule is what he should be doing. What do you guys think, should I get us on that schedule or keep doing what''s working for us now?

Unfortunately I don''t think it''s good for him to have such a flexible schedule if it isn''t working KWIM? It might be easier on you-but I have noticed with my kids that it is much easier on THEM to have a routine and know what is coming and when.

FWIW I can still have lunch with friends and do things in my day-I just need to plan them around naps. And since I always know when naps are it actually makes it EASIER to schedule things believe it or not.

 

[gailrmv]

Date: 11/23/2009 11:02:12 PM
Author: neatfreak

Date: 11/23/2009 9:52:48 PM

Author: TanDogMom

I tried having him more scheduled when he was younger and I think it was frustrating for me and him. But maybe now that he's older, it would work better. The flexible schedule is better *for me*. I am able to have some flexibility in our day and plan things like lunch with a friend, etc. which really helps keep me sane. Having a flexible routine is working well for me, but I don't want to be selfish if the other is better for him. HSHHC is pretty clear that the above schedule is what he should be doing. What do you guys think, should I get us on that schedule or keep doing what's working for us now?

Unfortunately I don't think it's good for him to have such a flexible schedule if it isn't working KWIM? It might be easier on you-but I have noticed with my kids that it is much easier on THEM to have a routine and know what is coming and when.


FWIW I can still have lunch with friends and do things in my day-I just need to plan them around naps. And since I always know when naps are it actually makes it EASIER to schedule things believe it or not.

I totally see what you are saying, especially re: the bold above. I probably wasn't clear, but I feel like the flexible routine is actually working quite well for us both (as far as I can tell). When he was younger and I tried the HSHHC routine (I think he was around 4-5 months, at the age it first recommended using this schedule) he would fight his naps so much, I felt like I spent the entire day trying to get him to nap. It was frustrating for us both. I felt like we were always attempting naps instead of having quality time together. He still wasn't getting quality naps, and we weren't able to plan anything outside of the house either because even though he didn't nap much, if he actually took one who knew how long it would be for?

I guess the worst that will happen is that we try it again now and it doesn't work. But on the other hand, why mess with success when I am happy with our current situation and it seems like he is too? He's generally cheerful, rarely cries unless there is a reason, seems well rested, and usually goes down for at least one nap and night sleep without a fuss. Yes, he is usually up twice at night to eat, but I don't think that's uncommon for BF babies and I don't really mind it.

I guess I'm just wondering how important is it to stick with the HSHHC schedule vs doing something a little different that seems to be working for our family.

ETA I should have said this first! To get him on the HSHHC schedule, I will need to start waking him up at 7 when he currently gets up around 8. And who wants to do that??? But I will if it's really important for his overall sleep health.

 

[Mrs]

hi mamas. haven''t been able to read a ton (just skimming) so sorry if I miss anyone below!

Mgal, good luck on your drive this week!

TDM, I''m glad you''re enjoying this age so much! Sage isn''t on a very set nap schedule either. Her morning naps is more regular though (at least it was until we started sleep training) at 9AM. The afternoon naps is more flexible. She always almost always goes to bed around 7 though once a week when we go out for dinner, she goes down closer to 8. I think I''m going to try to get the afternoon nap more regimented though since I think Neat is right when she says that it helps the baby when (s)he knows what to expect and when to expect it. If I''m not careful, Sage falls asleep in her car seat in the afternoon and transferring her is very hard to do without waking her and she doesn''t stay asleep in her car seat for long if she doesn''t sense the movement in the car. So on those days (like today) her afternoon nap is very short which isn''t idea.

Blen, I''m so sorry to hear about Aonghus. That''s really tough. And I''m sorry you''re still sick! re: activities for SAHMs, Sage and I get out of the house at least once a day. I found several great moms groups through meetup.com and I get together with those moms fairly regularly. Today Sage and I went to a retirement home to visit where we are kind of like volunteer visitors. The olds folks love spending time with Sage. On some days we go for long walks. Other days we go to target and wander (dangerous since I do tend to buy stuff). We also enjoy going to the library for the baby/toddler story time when it''s at a time that works in terms of her nap schedule. I hope this helps!

Pandora, that was not a nice trick your DH played on you! Scary! I''m glad you two were able to go out without Daisy the other night though - that''s great!

NYC, sorry to hear you feel trapped and that CIO isnt working! I hope things improve for you soon!

tao, I hope you had a great birthday despite the lack of sleep!

PG, your daughter is adorable! Sorry to hear she''s a little fussy for you now. Sage was VERY fussy for the first 3 months of her life. I don''t think she was colicy but it was rough, nonetheless. hang in there! And dont worry about the weight yet - it WILL come off.

fiery, sorry to hear you don''t love your pedi but it''s good that you like the nurse. It sounds like your CIO experiment went well! And I''m so pleased to hear that you and FI and doing so well!

cdt, wow Lex is a big boy! And crawling! wow! I''m glad he enjoyed Santa!

DD, Sage is doing the same thing! She got up at 5:30 this morning. I didn''t go to her until 6:15 though. It stinks since when I DO go to her, she''s annoyed that it has taken me so long, instead of happy to see me. I may just start feeding her at 5:30 as soon as I hear her make a peep since the days that I have done that, she has gone back to sleep which is better for us since she is ready for her morning nap way too soon when she gets up at 5:30 and it throws the whole day off.

Hi everyone else!

CIO Update, Sage slept 11 hours straight (6:30 to 5:30) on night 4

. She woke twice on night 5 but was able to get back to sleep on her own relatively quickly. We went camping on night 6 so she slept in between me and DH and I had to give her the boob several times to keep her quiet

. night 7 (last night) she woke at 3 and put herself back to bed until 5:30. So it''s been working out great and I''m hopeful that she starts to go 11 hours consistently. We''ll see. Regardless, I''m feeling MUCH better since I have been getting so much more sleep.

I hope you''re all doing well tonight!

Mrs

 

[gailrmv]

Mrs Thanks for sharing Sage's schedule!! Nice to "see" you on here

BlenI am a SAHM too. My activities are a lot like what MRS described. We get out of the house every day. I have been actively trying to meet other SAHMs with kids about the same age, and some of those have turned into good friends. I try to make plans to meet a friend at least several times a week. Often it's meeting up for a jog or long walk, have lunch, or do a little shopping. I joined a moms group on meetup but it shut down before I had a chance to get to any of the events. When he's a little older I think we'll go to story time at the library or bookstore. I am a lot more outgoing lately than I used to be; if I see a mom with baby around A's age who looks like a potential friend, I will strike up a conversation and I've made several new friends this way.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 11/23/2009 10:43:54 PM
Author: TanDogMom

Date: 11/23/2009 9:58:36 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 11/23/2009 9:22:54 PM

Author: dreamer_dachsie


TGAL Right now when Hunter wakes up he is starving! I don''t think we could leave him to amuse himself. When he woke 2-3 times and wasn''t hungry in the morning he would amuse himself singing etc. for a half hour or more, but now I don''t think that would fly.

I''m not advocating leaving him for an hour. Just start with 10 or 15 minutes. He won''t die, as you know.

It teaches them that you don''t come running when they wake up. Trust me, this is a huge help as you go on. Great for naps too for those days for whatever reason they don''t nap long enough. They just stay in their cribs because they know it''s still naptime, regardless of whether they are sleeping or not.

TGal,
I was editing my post above to add MY sleep question while you were posting to DD. So probably you didn''t see my sleep question, but I''m curious as to your thoughts!

TDM, I haven''t read HSHHC in a while, but if my memory serves me correctly, the book does not advocate only 2 naps at 8 months. It gives a wide range of time as a guide as to when naps usually occur and at what stage certain naps disappear. So while you are thinking he may be OK with ONE nap, odds are he actually needs THREE and is not napping well because he isn''t napping enough.

I know without a doubt that Amelia was on a 3 nap schedule because we were in Australia for a visit and I distinctly remember the schedule. She was up at 7, down at 9 am, then down again at noon, then again at 3:30 (it may have been 4ish...that memory is foggy, but I know it was usually a short nap of about an hour). Then down at 6, 6:30 latest.

After we returned from Oz, I noticed she kept skipping a nap. So we moved her a 9 am nap and 1 pm, much like as in the book. I''d have to double check also if it was 1pm or around noon. It''s amazing how foggy the memory gets.

She started skipping one nap consistently for two weeks again (when she was older...I want to say 15 months) at which point I did one nap at 11:30. Now I''ve pushed that nap to noon and will start pushing it again in a few months to about 1 pm. I always watch carefully before I make changes, and if behavior is consistent (like skipping naps - she would just sit and sing for the entire naptime), then I make adjustments.

At this point, my suggestions are...

- Be consistent as possible. You have a wide gap in bedtime. Yes, it''s only an hour, but have you ever gone to bed at 10:30 vs 11:30? It DOES make a difference if the wake up time is the same. I would say in bed by 7:30, latest. 7 is better.

- Likewise, in order to keep a schedule, he has to wake UP consistently at the same time. 7:30a-9 is a big gap. Again, I''d push for 7:30am here. First nap would occur at 9:30-10, second nap at 1:30i-2sh, bedtime at 7:30. That may mean walking into his room and gently trying to wake up him to get the day going. If he goes to bed earlier, waking up earlier will probably occur so this would happen more naturally. It is not hard to shift schedules to the appropriate hours if you are consistent about it. I''ve shifted Amelia''s schedule 5.5 hours front and back during my trip to Australia, and of course do it every year for Daylight Savings time and when it goes back. Keep in mind if you shift, feedings often move around too.

The reason why routines work is that they are ROUTINE. I understand that this may not work for everyone, and I respect that. Not only are Amelia''s naps/sleep on TIME every single day, her feedings/meals are too. Yes, this is a b*tch when it comes to personal freedom (although like NF said, I find it so second nature that it''s actually EASIER now as I just work around her schedule which is only one nap now), and some people don''t buy into this philosophy. But I find that when kids know that A signals B (for instance, bath, then milk, then bedtime), they work better. There is no confusion about Amelia''s day and she knows what to expect and finds comfort in that. She has nothing to get frustrated about since she knows that I will put her down to nap on time and she''ll get something to eat on time, etc etc. She knows NO ALTERNATIVE.

I clockwatch. I have been doing so every day for the last 19 months and 23 days. The sacrifice is WELL worth it.

 

[gailrmv]

Date: 11/24/2009 12:33:47 AM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 11/23/2009 10:43:54 PM

Author: TanDogMom

Date: 11/23/2009 9:58:36 PM

Author: TravelingGal

Date: 11/23/2009 9:22:54 PM


Author: dreamer_dachsie



TGAL Right now when Hunter wakes up he is starving! I don''t think we could leave him to amuse himself. When he woke 2-3 times and wasn''t hungry in the morning he would amuse himself singing etc. for a half hour or more, but now I don''t think that would fly.

I''m not advocating leaving him for an hour. Just start with 10 or 15 minutes. He won''t die, as you know.

It teaches them that you don''t come running when they wake up. Trust me, this is a huge help as you go on. Great for naps too for those days for whatever reason they don''t nap long enough. They just stay in their cribs because they know it''s still naptime, regardless of whether they are sleeping or not.

TGal,

I was editing my post above to add MY sleep question while you were posting to DD. So probably you didn''t see my sleep question, but I''m curious as to your thoughts!

TDM, I haven''t read HSHHC in a while, but if my memory serves me correctly, the book does not advocate only 2 naps at 8 months. It gives a wide range of time as a guide as to when naps usually occur and at what stage certain naps disappear. So while you are thinking he may be OK with ONE nap, odds are he actually needs THREE and is not napping well because he isn''t napping enough.


I know without a doubt that Amelia was on a 3 nap schedule because we were in Australia for a visit and I distinctly remember the schedule. She was up at 7, down at 9 am, then down again at noon, then again at 3:30 (it may have been 4ish...that memory is foggy, but I know it was usually a short nap of about an hour). Then down at 6, 6:30 latest.


After we returned from Oz, I noticed she kept skipping a nap. So we moved her a 9 am nap and 1 pm, much like as in the book. I''d have to double check also if it was 1pm or around noon. It''s amazing how foggy the memory gets.


She started skipping one nap consistently for two weeks again (when she was older...I want to say 15 months) at which point I did one nap at 11:30. Now I''ve pushed that nap to noon and will start pushing it again in a few months to about 1 pm. I always watch carefully before I make changes, and if behavior is consistent (like skipping naps - she would just sit and sing for the entire naptime), then I make adjustments.


At this point, my suggestions are...


- Be consistent as possible. You have a wide gap in bedtime. Yes, it''s only an hour, but have you ever gone to bed at 10:30 vs 11:30? It DOES make a difference if the wake up time is the same. I would say in bed by 7:30, latest. 7 is better.


- Likewise, in order to keep a schedule, he has to wake UP consistently at the same time. 7:30a-9 is a big gap. Again, I''d push for 7:30am here. First nap would occur at 9:30-10, second nap at 1:30i-2sh, bedtime at 7:30. That may mean walking into his room and gently trying to wake up him to get the day going. If he goes to bed earlier, waking up earlier will probably occur so this would happen more naturally. It is not hard to shift schedules to the appropriate hours if you are consistent about it. I''ve shifted Amelia''s schedule 5.5 hours front and back during my trip to Australia, and of course do it every year for Daylight Savings time and when it goes back. Keep in mind if you shift, feedings often move around too.


The reason why routines work is that they are ROUTINE. I understand that this may not work for everyone, and I respect that. Not only are Amelia''s naps/sleep on TIME every single day, her feedings/meals are too. Yes, this is a b*tch when it comes to personal freedom (although like NF said, I find it so second nature that it''s actually EASIER now as I just work around her schedule which is only one nap now), and some people don''t buy into this philosophy. But I find that when kids know that A signals B (for instance, bath, then milk, then bedtime), they work better. There is no confusion about Amelia''s day and she knows what to expect and finds comfort in that. She has nothing to get frustrated about since she knows that I will put her down to nap on time and she''ll get something to eat on time, etc etc. She knows NO ALTERNATIVE.


I clockwatch. I have been doing so every day for the last 19 months and 23 days. The sacrifice is WELL worth it.

Tgal,
Thanks for your thoughtful post. Lots to think about. I am glad that your schedule works so well for you and A!


So the book actually does say that for most kids his age, 2 naps is what they need. A very small % of kids take 1 and another small % take 3, but most take (and need) 2. THe author said the third nap is short and time flexible.

Naps have been very hard with this little guy since he was newborn. I never got that 2 week grace period of sleepy baby. Mine was up, alert, raring to go almost around the clock for the first couple weeks. I am actually thrilled that he takes at least one good nap now. For several MONTHS he just catnapped unless he was being held. He''d sleep maybe 20 min tops in his crib. So the fact that he''ll do 30 min to an hour is, well, great!

Re: the 1 hour variation in bed time and wake up time. You asked how I would feel going to bed 11:30 vs 10:30. Honestly, I''m not on a consistent sleep schedule myself. I find that I can go to bed almost any time and get up any time as long as I get 8 hours of sleep most nights. I''ve always been this way (that is, pre-baby when I actually got 8 hours!) So I guess part of why I have trouble buying the whole consistent routine down to the minute is that I am not like that myself. I don''t need it and in fact I prefer to have a loose routine for myself in terms of eating and sleeping. I have a fairly predictable pattern but can vary it a little according to the day and how I''m feeling. So I''m not sure whether I buy this highly scheduled child thing. But I did read and like the HSHHC book and I am glad to hear what is working for other parents.

 

[Dreamer_D]

TDM I think that TGal gives a lot of good advice. I am not as regimented as I think she is about scheduling, but in general we are pretty good at having a fairly typical pattern to our day. Because there is a pattern, Hunter''s biological clock is pretty consistent. He wants to go to sleep at 7pm each night, he wants to eat at 7am, 12pm, and 5:30 or so. He wants to wake at 6am

I don''t really have a time in my own mind for naps, and maybe I should, but I follow his cues and he is really consistent. He goes about 2.5 to 3 hours from waking, so he naps around 9am. This nap ranges from 45 minutes to 1.5 hours. Then he wants to nap again about 2.5 to 3 hours later, so obviously that depends on how long his morning nap was! Again, that nap ranges from 45 minutes to 1.5 or even 2 hours if it has been a busy day! If he wakes from his afternoon nap before 2pm then he will take another cat nap at about 4:30. I *always* have him at home for his morning nap, and I try to be back in the afternoon or else I drive around or sit in the car until he wakes if he falls asleep.

In your shoes I might focus on getting the bedtime and wake up times more consistent as TGal suggests. This may lead to a bumpy few days or a week, depending on A''s personality, but it is really good for his biorhythms to become really... um... rhythmical

. I bet his naps are all over the place because his wake ups and bedtime are so variable. I know that Hunters naps move around a lot if for some reason his wake up was messed up!