Quiet forum?

[YadaYadaYada]

The pressure to be liked and accepted is very real for a lot of people, I know in my 30’s it would bother me if I felt someone didn’t like me, now not so much. If someone does not prescribe to a liberal mindset here, it is hard to fit it. Even though politics is banned, I still hold back from a lot of threads because I hold a lot of conservative views and don’t feel like getting into it with anyone here. I’m thinking a lot of conservative members find it hard to participate here in a meaningful way, especially since the pandemic.

There is a level of hypocrisy and haughtiness here that really irks me and IMO those that demonstrate these characteristics rarely get called out or challenged. I’m not better than anyone, I don’t have all the answers but I also don’t need some high horse on a jewelry forum telling me (directly or indirectly) how I should think. Maybe there are others that feel the same and cease participating which leads to less engagement across the forum.

At the end of the day it’s all about what an individual is looking to get from an experience. We have lost a good bit of members by the inability to discuss certain topics, but also by the inability to accept differences of opinion with humility and tolerance.

 

[musicloveranthony]

Daisys, I'm SO inept with technology but here's the pendant/brooch, 11 months in the making. MrCarParts bought me the peridot and I had Daniel M make the piece of green earth and blue sky to commemorate endless hours of mowing this property. Sorry about the weathered old neck, comes with the job.

THis is so beautiful!! It also looks wonderful around your neck

 

[SandraLynn]

The pressure to be liked and accepted is very real for a lot of people, I know in my 30’s it would bother me if I felt someone didn’t like me, now not so much. If someone does not prescribe to a liberal mindset here, it is hard to fit it. Even though politics is banned, I still hold back from a lot of threads because I hold a lot of conservative views and don’t feel like getting into it with anyone here. I’m thinking a lot of conservative members find it hard to participate here in a meaningful way, especially since the pandemic.

There is a level of hypocrisy and haughtiness here that really irks me and IMO those that demonstrate these characteristics rarely get called out or challenged. I’m not better than anyone, I don’t have all the answers but I also don’t need some high horse on a jewelry forum telling me (directly or indirectly) how I should think. Maybe there are others that feel the same and cease participating which leads to less engagement across the forum.

At the end of the day it’s all about what an individual is looking to get from an experience. We have lost a good bit of members by the inability to discuss certain topics, but also by the inability to accept differences of opinion with humility and tolerance.

Well said. I’m with you.

 

[stracci2000]

I agree with @YadaYadaYada

If opposing opinions are stated in a thread, can't we discuss them without freaking out, and getting upset with each other?
We are all here because of our love for jewelry. We are a family of sorts. Let's not fight.

 

[monarch64]

I see both POV about certain issues being added to what are supposed to be threads “just about jewelry” AND feeling the need to point out the issue when a particular collection was being posted about. On one hand, yeah, can’t we just enjoy the jewels due to the inherent nature of this forum? On the other hand, how is it ok to insist that the issue must not be brought up IN SPITE OF the fact that many members of the jewelry industry itself were directly impacted by the issue?!

When the collection @icy_jade posted about was initially brought up, it was posted in Hangout by @Matata . I was the first poster to bring up the history of said collection. That thread promptly died, and a new one was created over in Colored Stones (I think, correct me if I’m wrong) by @icy_jade who specifically requested that anyone refrain from commenting on the history and to just enjoy the jewels themselves. She went to a lot of effort to provide pics and information about the auction, etc. It should’ve been a nice thread without additional contentious discussion, but there were indeed attempts to steer the conversation into a dark and serious topic. I would’ve been exasperated if I had posted the thread WITH THE DISCLAIMER/REQUEST only to have it not honored. So I don’t blame @icy_jade nor others for throwing up their hands and giving up on posting.

In my opinion, what should’ve happened was that the history of the collection could’ve been a discussion in Hangout in the original thread. That didn’t take off, so at that point why not just leave it alone?
I hate the term “virtue signaling” but in this case there were repeated attempts to just not let it go for the sake of not letting it go under the guise of “but this is important and we must not forget.” Time and place weren’t considered. Forum etiquette wasn’t considered. It was some kind of saviorism that was simply unnecessary.

As far as the forum being quiet, I agree with @Karl , this time of year is busy for people and there are always ebbs and flows. The subject does get brought up almost every year around this time. If you want to see more threads in Hangout feel free to post some yourself, there’s no rule that only certain members are allowed to do so. If you need inspiration, check your news feed, the front page of Reddit (they’re great for questions that get people talking), or vent about a problem you’re having in its own thread. We have these catch all threads that have become go-to watering coolers instead of individual threads or topics now and while those are nice I think they also take away from traffic on the first page of Hangout.

Otherwise, there are other sections of PS that are dead because we all rely on Hangout. The shopping thread has been a ghost town forever, likely due to the economy. That was a favorite years ago. The healthy living threads were a great place to check in with others who were interested in fitness and diet.

The younger generations (millennials, Gen z) aren’t visiting forums as much as elder millennials, Gen x, boomers, and Silents have become accustomed to. So we aren’t getting much “new blood” here. Back in the oughties, we had young people who were just getting engaged who stuck around for wedding planning threads, and then went on to have babies and participated in those subs which are all dead now. If we all want PS to continue, we need to pick up the slack and get posting, myself included. I don’t think we can attract youth at this point as their priorities have greatly shifted and the type of websites they visit are totally different, but our current community can build back up to a more robust scene.

Years ago political discussion had its own subforum and really didn’t bleed over into Hangout much. I would love to see it come back. I think we even had a sub where we could bring up religious topics (that may have been a fever dream, idk). Perhaps if someone or a couple people were to volunteer to moderate, this site could get those back without it being too much hassle for Lin and Ella.

 

[smitcompton]

I see both POV about certain issues being added to what are supposed to be threads “just about jewelry” AND feeling the need to point out the issue when a particular collection was being posted about. On one hand, yeah, can’t we just enjoy the jewels due to the inherent nature of this forum? On the other hand, how is it ok to insist that the issue must not be brought up IN SPITE OF the fact that many members of the jewelry industry itself were directly impacted by the issue?!

When the collection @icy_jade posted about was initially brought up, it was posted in Hangout by @Matata . I was the first poster to bring up the history of said collection. That thread promptly died, and a new one was created over in Colored Stones (I think, correct me if I’m wrong) by @icy_jade who specifically requested that anyone refrain from commenting on the history and to just enjoy the jewels themselves. She went to a lot of effort to provide pics and information about the auction, etc. It should’ve been a nice thread without additional contentious discussion, but there were indeed attempts to steer the conversation into a dark and serious topic. I would’ve been exasperated if I had posted the thread WITH THE DISCLAIMER/REQUEST only to have it not honored. So I don’t blame @icy_jade nor others for throwing up their hands and giving up on posting.

In my opinion, what should’ve happened was that the history of the collection could’ve been a discussion in Hangout in the original thread. That didn’t take off, so at that point why not just leave it alone?
I hate the term “virtue signaling” but in this case there were repeated attempts to just not let it go for the sake of not letting it go under the guise of “but this is important and we must not forget.” Time and place weren’t considered. Forum etiquette wasn’t considered. It was some kind of saviorism that was simply unnecessary.

As far as the forum being quiet, I agree with @Karl , this time of year is busy for people and there are always ebbs and flows. The subject does get brought up almost every year around this time. If you want to see more threads in Hangout feel free to post some yourself, there’s no rule that only certain members are allowed to do so. If you need inspiration, check your news feed, the front page of Reddit (they’re great for questions that get people talking), or vent about a problem you’re having in its own thread. We have these catch all threads that have become go-to watering coolers instead of individual threads or topics now and while those are nice I think they also take away from traffic on the first page of Hangout.

Otherwise, there are other sections of PS that are dead because we all rely on Hangout. The shopping thread has been a ghost town forever, likely due to the economy. That was a favorite years ago. The healthy living threads were a great place to check in with others who were interested in fitness and diet.

The younger generations (millennials, Gen z) aren’t visiting forums as much as elder millennials, Gen x, boomers, and Silents have become accustomed to. So we aren’t getting much “new blood” here. Back in the oughties, we had young people who were just getting engaged who stuck around for wedding planning threads, and then went on to have babies and participated in those subs which are all dead now. If we all want PS to continue, we need to pick up the slack and get posting, myself included. I don’t think we can attract youth at this point as their priorities have greatly shifted and the type of websites they visit are totally different, but our current community can build back up to a more robust scene.

Years ago political discussion had its own subforum and really didn’t bleed over into Hangout much. I would love to see it come back. I think we even had a sub where we could bring up religious topics (that may have been a fever dream, idk). Perhaps if someone or a couple people were to volunteer to moderate, this site could get those back without it being too much hassle for Lin and Ella.

Hi,

Thank you ir posting this. I never saw the disclaimer that you speak about, and I I apologize to icy jade as I now understand that her intent was to avoid the serious topic. I just scrolled down and saw what I saw.

I hope Icy-jade will continue to post as she has done in the past. Perhaps, it could have been told to all again that you had specifically asked that only comments on the jewels themselves was wanted. I did think comments were bizarre. I stand corrected.

Annette

 

[monarch64]

Hi,

Thank you ir posting this. I never saw the disclaimer that you speak about, and I I apologize to icy jade as I now understand that her intent was to avoid the serious topic. I just scrolled down and saw what I saw.

I hope Icy-jade will continue to post as she has done in the past. Perhaps, it could have been told to all again that you had specifically asked that only comments on the jewels themselves was wanted. I did think comments were bizarre. I stand corrected.

Annette

Oh, Annette, you are very kind and gracious. I don’t think anyone involved meant harm nor to discourage anyone from feeling free to post whatever they like within forum rules. I should’ve linked the first thread as well as the second and will do so now for clarity for all, that’s my mistake!

Why can’t we all be perfect???? Lol I’ll be right back with those links.

First thread: https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/eyecandy-warning-wear-your-drool-bib.278088/

Second thread: https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/the-heidi-horten-collection.278119/

 

[canuk-gal]

The pressure to be liked and accepted is very real for a lot of people, I know in my 30’s it would bother me if I felt someone didn’t like me, now not so much. If someone does not prescribe to a liberal mindset here, it is hard to fit it. Even though politics is banned, I still hold back from a lot of threads because I hold a lot of conservative views and don’t feel like getting into it with anyone here. I’m thinking a lot of conservative members find it hard to participate here in a meaningful way, especially since the pandemic.

There is a level of hypocrisy and haughtiness here that really irks me and IMO those that demonstrate these characteristics rarely get called out or challenged. I’m not better than anyone, I don’t have all the answers but I also don’t need some high horse on a jewelry forum telling me (directly or indirectly) how I should think. Maybe there are others that feel the same and cease participating which leads to less engagement across the forum.

At the end of the day it’s all about what an individual is looking to get from an experience. We have lost a good bit of members by the inability to discuss certain topics, but also by the inability to accept differences of opinion with humility and tolerance.

And compassion.

 

[icy_jade]

Thanks ladies for restoring some of my faith in humanity (and this forum).

In my opinion, what should’ve happened was that the history of the collection could’ve been a discussion in Hangout in the original thread. That didn’t take off, so at that point why not just leave it alone?
I hate the term “virtue signaling” but in this case there were repeated attempts to just not let it go for the sake of not letting it go under the guise of “but this is important and we must not forget.” Time and place weren’t considered. Forum etiquette wasn’t considered. It was some kind of saviorism that was simply unnecessary.

Yes, yes and yes. Thank you.

Hi,

Thank you ir posting this. I never saw the disclaimer that you speak about, and I I apologize to icy jade as I now understand that her intent was to avoid the serious topic. I just scrolled down and saw what I saw.

I hope Icy-jade will continue to post as she has done in the past. Perhaps, it could have been told to all again that you had specifically asked that only comments on the jewels themselves was wanted. I did think comments were bizarre. I stand corrected.

Annette

I did repeatedly say/request so and was repeatedly attacked/given morality lectures by people who wanted to show their moral superiority online. I typed an almost essay out on that thread so I won’t repeat myself again.

At the end of the day, my view re: jewellery including the Heidi Horten collection is that we are all just temporary custodians of beauty as the late Elizabeth Taylor once said. At the point when I created the thread, I just wanted to pay homage to the greatest jewellery collection I’ve seen. Her ownership from my POV is just a blip in the long history of those beautiful gems. Like who cares a hundred years from now when the sunrise ruby will be just as beautiful and we are all long dead and gone.

Plus we had the clearly more unpopular thread on HO to discuss all the serious issues if wanted. But some people just wanted to virtue signal (though I was later told it’s a common occurrence from that particular PS-er) on the vacuous bling thread.

If it’s so hard to share my love for blings and I have to add disclaimers or battle trolls all the time, why bother.

Just to add, I have never forgotten the horror I saw at the Auschwitz concentration camp that I visited as a teenager. The mountain of hair, omg, I can still picture it decades after my visit. Similarly I condemn what the Japanese did during ww2 and will never visit the Yasukuni shrine where war criminals were elevated to the status of gods in that shrine. But it doesn’t stop me from liking Japanese food and products and otherwise loving to visit Japan for holidays. There is a time and place for everything.

 

[Cerulean]

Thanks ladies for restoring some of my faith in humanity (and this forum).



Yes, yes and yes. Thank you.



I did repeatedly say/request so and was repeatedly attacked/given morality lectures by people who wanted to show their moral superiority online. I typed an almost essay out on that thread so I won’t repeat myself again.

At the end of the day, my view re: jewellery including the Heidi Horten collection is that we are all just temporary custodians of beauty as the late Elizabeth Taylor once said. At the point when I created the thread, I just wanted to pay homage to the greatest jewellery collection I’ve seen. Her ownership from my POV is just a blip in the long history of those beautiful gems. Like who cares a hundred years from now when the sunrise ruby will be just as beautiful and we are all long dead and gone.

Plus we had the clearly more unpopular thread on HO to discuss all the serious issues if wanted. But some people just wanted to virtue signal (though I was later told it’s a common occurrence from that particular PS-er) on the vacuous bling thread.

If it’s so hard to share my love for blings and I have to add disclaimers or battle trolls all the time, why bother.

Just to add, I have never forgotten the horror I saw at the Auschwitz concentration camp that I visited as a teenager. The mountain of hair, omg, I can still picture it decades after my visit. Similarly I condemn what the Japanese did during ww2 and will never visit the Yasukuni shrine where war criminals were elevated to the status of gods in that shrine. But it doesn’t stop me from liking Japanese food and products and otherwise loving to visit Japan for holidays. There is a time and place for everything.

I’m honestly disappointed that mere mention of the very real history of these jewels was so upsetting. There is a direct correlation between this particular collection and the suffering of actual people who were persecuted for their religion. The time and place for understanding was in the context of that collection and the wealth that funded it. This isn’t as hand wavey as avoiding Japanese food by association

So yeah, no surprise the jewels didn’t sell as expected. Most people find the collection and the wealth behind it unsettling, and if bringing that up is unsettling, I don’t know what to say? I don’t think anything @LilAlex said is virtue signaling, trolling, and I think to say so is offensive to be honest

There are lots of beautiful objects throughout history with complicated and even painful histories. To me, mentioning these and understanding them enriches what I’m looking at. It’s complicated when something intoxicatingly beautiful has something more to say than meets the eye. Whether it’s a piece of jewelry representing a special occasion or something less “happy” - gosh look at all of the content dedicated to royal jewels! Imagine if we never knew how they came into the world! What a loss!

Navigating my relationship to beauty when I’m encountering something rather *ugly* underneath it is fascinating too. The stewards of this collection owed it to the public to understand that. You, as a steward, brought something aesthetically pleasing but also intellectually stimulating to this community, because it raises interesting ethical questions around the boundaries of morality. Whether you use jewelry as escapism doesn’t actually resolve the tension between beautiful objects and the history they’re mired in. You can’t redact it or ask others to be complicit in redacting it - just like you can’t extricate the beauty of an engagement ring from the significance of it representing a milestone in someone’s life, as an example

To me, that’s part of what’s incredible about art in all forms…it is inextricably linked with broader historical events of the time and place they originate from, and it’s a mainline into the human condition. Something that seems trivial and frivolous can really tell us so much more - in this case, about who Heidi was, the deep empathy we feel for her because of her stunning taste and extraordinary collection, it raises complex and interesting questions about her husband, and how they did or didn’t play a role in society then and now.

Ignoring these broader themes would frankly be a shame. If you insist on wanting to ignore the dimensionality of the topic I suppose that’s up to you, but I think you’re missing out and would encourage you to rethink the true dimensionality of the wealth beautiful objects offer us and to not hesitate to offer us more delightful content

Anyways it’s an interesting topic. I like when the forum is lively with debates like this - who would’ve guessed that the topic of quietness would raise so much discussion

 

[SandraLynn]

I really think the point here is that there are members who feel that they can not share thoughts and ideas with out being put down and shamed. This is the world we live in.

There are a lot of people here with strong views and when those strong views get in the way of another persons ability to enjoy their own thread on a forum, I find this to be a problem.

I knew nothing about the collection prior. I remember seeing it pop up a lot but I never read the comments until today. @icy_jade politely asked not to turn her thread into a debate and that should have been respected regardless of how strong someone else feels. Icy didn’t get upset that it was mentioned, I suspect when her comment about avoiding that topic was disregarded is when it became an issue.

I have the ability to shake my head and keep scrolling when I see posts or comments that don’t align with my values or that I simply don’t agree with. Some can not do that and a constant need to be “right” is getting in the way of the health of this website.

 

[missy]

This quote will serve you well if there is something you read that upsets you. We don't have to engage with everyone and everything

 

[smitcompton]

I’m honestly disappointed that mere mention of the very real history of these jewels was so upsetting. There is a direct correlation between this particular collection and the suffering of actual people who were persecuted for their religion. The time and place for understanding was in the context of that collection and the wealth that funded it. This isn’t as hand wavey as avoiding Japanese food by association

So yeah, no surprise the jewels didn’t sell as expected. Most people find the collection and the wealth behind it unsettling, and if bringing that up is unsettling, I don’t know what to say? I don’t think anything @LilAlex said is virtue signaling, trolling, and I think to say so is offensive to be honest

There are lots of beautiful objects throughout history with complicated and even painful histories. To me, mentioning these and understanding them enriches what I’m looking at. It’s complicated when something intoxicatingly beautiful has something more to say than meets the eye. Whether it’s a piece of jewelry representing a special occasion or something less “happy” - gosh look at all of the content dedicated to royal jewels! Imagine if we never knew how they came into the world! What a loss!

Navigating my relationship to beauty when I’m encountering something rather *ugly* underneath it is fascinating too. The stewards of this collection owed it to the public to understand that. You, as a steward, brought something aesthetically pleasing but also intellectually stimulating to this community, because it raises interesting ethical questions around the boundaries of morality. Whether you use jewelry as escapism doesn’t actually resolve the tension between beautiful objects and the history they’re mired in. You can’t redact it or ask others to be complicit in redacting it - just like you can’t extricate the beauty of an engagement ring from the significance of it representing a milestone in someone’s life, as an example

To me, that’s part of what’s incredible about art in all forms…it is inextricably linked with broader historical events of the time and place they originate from, and it’s a mainline into the human condition. Something that seems trivial and frivolous can really tell us so much more - in this case, about who Heidi was, the deep empathy we feel for her because of her stunning taste and extraordinary collection, it raises complex and interesting questions about her husband, and how they did or didn’t play a role in society then and now.

Ignoring these broader themes would frankly be a shame. If you insist on wanting to ignore the dimensionality of the topic I suppose that’s up to you, but I think you’re missing out and would encourage you to rethink the true dimensionality of the wealth beautiful objects offer us and to not hesitate to offer us more delightful content

Anyways it’s an interesting topic. I like when the forum is lively with debates like this - who would’ve guessed that the topic of quietness would raise so much discussion

Hi,

This is such a wonderful post. Its the perfect world post. You have captured the essence of the total picture. I could really hug you.

However, I do think that when you start a thread, you can ask people for comments along the lines you want. I think we ought to respect others when they do ask for this. I really do believe this is just a mix=up.

I am also glad that Icy=jade told us of her own experience visiting a concentration camp. I'm feeling somewhat like Icy-Jade. My faith in humanity is restored.

Annette

 

[Mrsz1ppy]

Can I agree with everyone? I can see the jewels and admire them for their beauty, out of context. I can understand @icy_jade wanting to narrow the discussion. However, the value of any second hand piece, be it furniture, edged weapons or jewelry, is impacted by the provenance. Note the recent Kashmir sapphire I posted about that sold at around €1,000,000 because it came from a royal collection. I am quite sure that some people would not buy anything from the Duchess of Windsor’s estate because of the provenance, but the beauty of her collection is undeniable.

I value the open discussions here on PS. I hope they continue. We all have more to learn. It is a good practice to tolerate other POVs, and recognize that we all have a right to our opinions.

 

[Cerulean]

Hi,

This is such a wonderful post. Its the perfect world post. You have captured the essence of the total picture. I could really hug you.

However, I do think that when you start a thread, you can ask people for comments along the lines you want. I think we ought to respect others when they do ask for this. I really do believe this is just a mix=up.

I am also glad that Icy=jade told us of her own experience visiting a concentration camp. I'm feeling somewhat like Icy-Jade. My faith in humanity is restored.

Annette

Hugs right back at you Annette

 

[Matata]

I really think the point here is that there are members who feel that they can not share thoughts and ideas with out being put down and shamed. This is the world we live in.

Life is tough; people can be poopheads; fairness is fickle. To survive the mini, minor, major cruelties of life in general and poopheads in particular we need a tough skin with calluses on top in all the right places.

Are opinions here ever put down? Nope, one can only silence oneself on a forum (other than a mod, of course). Are there disagreements and differing opinions? Yep. Are some of those disagreements and differing opinions overly passionate or critical or cruel? Yep.

Has anyone here ever been shamed by a poster? Nope. Some posters may have tried to shame others by being overly critical or downright cruel but shame comes from within. It isn't something someone can do to another. It is something one can only do to oneself. To feel shamed by someone means one has abdicated personal power and self-esteem to another, that one feels the person being cruel/critical has more value, power, worth or that one realizes what one said or did was actually shameful. When people stop posting because of what they feel others are doing to them, they harm no one here; they deprive themselves of developing a good callus, and they remain vulnerable to the next poophead who comes along. That doesn't seem like a very appealing way to live.

The complaints about put downs and shaming when political discussions were allowed made me sad and angry. Sad and angry that some people lacked the self-esteem and confidence needed to shield themselves from perceived negativity of others. I think there were many many posters who thought the negativity would go away, or at least abate, when political discussions were banned. As we've seen since then, negativity will persist as long as humans exist.

So for those who in future feel slighted, put down, shamed -- stand up straight, chin held high and wave your middle finger at your monitor when the poopheads get poopy. Huzzah!

 

[chemgirl]

This quote will serve you well if there is something you read that upsets you. We don't have to engage with everyone and everything

There was literally a thread dedicated to insulting millennials. It’s hard to just scroll past that kind of toxicity and pretend that you’re not in a hostile place.

I’ll maintain that there is space for differing opinions, but that’s not what I’m seeing here. There’s a fundamental lack of respect that derails conversation.

 

[missy]

There was literally a thread dedicated to insulting millennials. It’s hard to just scroll past that kind of toxicity and pretend that you’re not in a hostile place.

I’ll maintain that there is space for differing opinions, but that’s not what I’m seeing here. There’s a fundamental lack of respect that derails conversation.

If I recall there was mud slinging by all generations in that thread. Sharing the different generational experiences helps foster understanding from all perspectives. But it is not a competition who had it hardest. In fact, if I recall that thread was closed because all the generations were behaving like children. Just goes to show it doesn't matter how old you are or what generation you belong to. Immaturity and lack of empathy and compassion are rampant through all the ages. And usually the most poorly behaved are the loudest in voice which is unfortunate.

 

[chemgirl]

If I recall there was mud slinging by all generations in that thread. Sharing the different generational experiences helps foster understanding from all perspectives. But it is not a competition who had it hardest. In fact, if I recall that thread was closed because all the generations were behaving like children. Just goes to show it doesn't matter how old you are or what generation you belong to. Immaturity and lack of empathy and compassion are rampant through all the ages. And usually the most poorly behaved are the loudest in voice which is unfortunate.

That thread should have never existed in the first palace. In other corners of the internet you would have a slew of commenters telling OP that they’re out of line. Here it actually became a debate.

Of course some of us took offence and defended ourselves.

 

[missy]

That thread should have never existed in the first palace. In other corners of the internet you would have a slew of commenters telling OP that they’re out of line. Here it actually became a debate. Of course there were younger people who took offence.

We can’t control the behavior of others and I agree things were said that were rude and inconsiderate. I think offense was taken by not just the younger posters. We are all unique and generalizing is never (IMO) a good idea

 

[chemgirl]

We can’t control the behavior of others and I agree things were said that were rude and inconsiderate. I think offense was taken by not just the younger posters. We are all unique and generalizing is never (IMO) a good idea

Of course you can’t control the behaviour of others, but you can call out bullying when you see it.

 

[missy]

Of course you can’t control the behaviour of others, but you can call out bullying when you see it.

I agree and I personally don’t shy away from disagreements. Never have and never will. But I also am not thin skinned and shrug off others insults. I don’t care what online strangers think of me. It’s freeing

I will add if one takes things personally and can’t shrug it off that’s when, imo, it’s best to scroll on by. JMO

 

[chemgirl]

I agree and I personally don’t shy away from disagreements. Never have and never will. But I also am not thin skinned and shrug off others insults. I don’t care what online strangers think of me. It’s freeing

That’s great, but the purpose of this thread is discussing why it’s so quiet here. The bullying problem could be part of it. Like I’ve said before, personally I don’t enjoy environments where that kind of behaviour thrives. I’m probably not alone.

 

[missy]

That’s great, but the purpose of this thread is discussing why it’s so quiet here. The bullying problem could be part of it. Like I’ve said before, personally I don’t enjoy environments where that kind of behaviour thrives. I’m probably not alone.

I was replying to your posts chemgirl. It goes in phases here and often summer is slow. Many are feeling the economy and this is primarily a disposable income diamond gemstone group. It is not surprising to me things are slow. For various reasons

 

[chemgirl]

I was replying to your posts chemgirl. It goes in phases here and often summer is slow. Many are feeling the economy and this is primarily a disposable income diamond gemstone group. It is not surprising to me things are slow. For various reasons

You’re absolutely correct. There are multiple factors influencing this slowdown. I came back here because I’m in the beginning stages of a new bling project, but the current prices might put that on hold.

When I first joined PS I was in awe of the sophistication. Everyone had such intelligent comments and exquisite taste. I really wanted to get along and be liked. It took almost a decade for me to notice the toxicity. If someone snarked my way I assumed that I said something uncouth and deserved it. Now the rose coloured glasses are off. I’m sure that some posters are oblivious to their behaviour, but there are others who seem to love that antiquated concept of putting others in their place. It turns people off. I’m unapologetically pointing that out.

 

[missy]

You’re absolutely correct. There are multiple factors influencing this slowdown. I came back here because I’m in the beginning stages of a new bling project, but the current prices might put that on hold.

When I first joined PS I was in awe of the sophistication. Everyone had such intelligent comments and exquisite taste. I really wanted to get along and be liked. It took almost a decade for me to notice the toxicity. If someone snarked my way I assumed that I said something uncouth and deserved it. Now the rose coloured glasses are off. I’m sure that some posters are oblivious to their behaviour, but there are others who seem to love that antiquated concept of putting others in their place. It turns people off. I’m unapologetically pointing that out.

Yup. I agree with that assessment. There were always pot stirrers here though. Maybe with less bling to show off we’re left with more snark than joy. It’s a shame. Hopefully you’ll be able to complete your new bling project soon. We could use more threads filled with joy

 

[YadaYadaYada]

I am not trying to pick a fight, however, @chemgirl, I would just like to point out that you said some pretty vile things in the COVID threads including this gem:

“I know I’ve said this here before, but so many anti vaxx/anti mask people are also racists!

Really says all you need to know about their “critical thinking skills”

So, do you consider calling people racists for no other reason than refusing a Covid shot bullying? I do, in fact your comments along with others are one of the reasons I got off PS for a time. I did come back but with a much different perspective of why I’m on PS.

Still, that was not okay, also I know for a fact that Queenie left for the bullying she received for the same reason. Granted, I may not have agreed with everything she said but she didn’t deserve that and neither did I.

 

[chemgirl]

If I recall there was mud slinging by all generations in that thread. Sharing the different generational experiences helps foster understanding from all perspectives. But it is not a competition who had it hardest. In fact, if I recall that thread was closed because all the generations were behaving like children. Just goes to show it doesn't matter how old you are or what generation you belong to. Immaturity and lack of empathy and compassion are rampant through all the ages. And usually the most poorly behaved are the loudest in voice which is unfortunate.

Still thinking of this and it really bothers me. You’re blaming the people who were attacked for fighting back. Yes the mature thing would be to just ignore it, but sometimes that’s difficult to do. Frankly I don’t care if some of the instigators had their feelings hurt. They shouldn’t start something if they can’t take criticism in return.

 

[chemgirl]

I am not trying to pick a fight, however, @chemgirl, I would just like to point out that you said some pretty vile things in the COVID threads including this gem:

“I know I’ve said this here before, but so many anti vaxx/anti mask people are also racists!
In my experience this is
Really says all you need to know about their “critical thinking skills”

So, do you consider calling people racists for no other reason than refusing a Covid shot bullying? I do, in fact your comments along with others are one of the reasons I got off PS for a time. I did come back but with a much different perspective of why I’m on PS.

Still, that was not okay, also I know for a fact that Queenie left for the bullying she received for the same reason. Granted, I may not have agreed with everything she said but she didn’t deserve that and neither did I.

I am not trying to pick a fight, however, @chemgirl, I would just like to point out that you said some pretty vile things in the COVID threads including this gem:

“I know I’ve said this here before, but so many anti vaxx/anti mask people are also racists!

Really says all you need to know about their “critical thinking skills”

So, do you consider calling people racists for no other reason than refusing a Covid shot bullying? I do, in fact your comments along with others are one of the reasons I got off PS for a time. I did come back but with a much different perspective of why I’m on PS.

Still, that was not okay, also I know for a fact that Queenie left for the bullying she received for the same reason. Granted, I may not have agreed with everything she said but she didn’t deserve that and neither did I.

In my area this statement is true. They’re also homophobic. It’s a real problem.

I’m not talking about people who just choose not to get vaccinated. If you quietly went about your day and wore a mask when asked then thank you for being respectful. I’m talking about those who drove to Ottawa to harass the locals while parliament was empty. We have a local group that would protest at beaches, playgrounds. They even showed up at an Easter egg hunt downtown last year and honked their horns until some of the kids were crying. It’s insane and now they’ve refocused that energy onto the lgbtq+ community.

There’s an undercurrent happening in Canada that threatens basic human rights.

But yes I shouldn’t talk about that online in a jewellery forum. It wasn’t polite. I also shouldn’t generalize. I’ll work to be better.

 

[missy]

Still thinking of this and it really bothers me. You’re blaming the people who were attacked for fighting back. Yes the mature thing would be to just ignore it, but sometimes that’s difficult to do. Frankly I don’t care if some of the instigators had their feelings hurt. They shouldn’t start something if they can’t take criticism in return.

I am sharing my observations from that thread. I don’t see any party as the innocent party. We’re all responsible for our actions.