Ramance, proposal, engagement rings........ but what do women do for us????

[giftgoddess]

since my boyfriend and i have been together for 3+ years, and talk alot about our upcoming engagement and wedding etc.. (it is a done deal- it just hasn't been done yet!)...i decided to by him my own version of an engagement "ring" for him. actually i bought him a very pricey, fairly rare, rolex watch that he has had his eye on. i know he is about to drop a ton of money on my ring- so i thought i would show him how much i love him with a gift of my own.

 

[niki]

It is the year 2003, and I think it is perfectly reasonable for the woman to give some type of gift to the man for the engagement. However, there are men out there who think it is their job as a man to buy a ring and propose without the girl having to give something in return. I guess it just depends on the man. My fiancee-to-be and I have both given our time to picking out a ring. I have offered to help with the cost, which I think is fair. But the bottom line is, buy a ring and plan a great proposal because you want to see her face light up when you ask for her hand. If you have found the right girl, you can be sure that you will get more in return than you ever thought possible.

 

[Jason]

Bottom line ... women (will) give birth to your children.

Glad I'm a man.

 

[Lanee]

Jason, you're THE man, it seems.

 

[Mara]

To play a little devils advocate..since it IS 2003..and from articles I have read, the future household will consist of 2 parents and .5 children..(boy I can't wait for that!)..

What if she doesn't bear your children? Do you take away the ring? What if you aren't going to have children? How does that factor into her value or her worth to you? Shouldn't this engagement thing be based on love and not how many kids she will pop out? We are not in the 1800's any longer.

(oh my gosh I'm turning into Trichome!!)

 

[jlim]

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On 5/21/2003 11

5:14 AM Jason wrote:

Bottom line ... women (will) give birth to your children.

Glad I'm a man.

----------------

That's true, but you'll be on your hands and knees serving to her every whim during the 9 months.

Honeyyyyyy!!!! I want my ice-cream.
Honeyyyyyy!!!! I want my fried chickens.
Honeyyyyyy!!!! My back is sore. I need a backrub.
Honeyyyyyy!!!! Oh nothing I just want you to come up.

Haha.

 

[aljdewey]

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On 5/21/2003 11:49

3 AM Mara wrote:

(oh my gosh I'm turning into Trichome!!)----------------

MARA....bite your tongue.....say it isn't so! heheheee

 

[trichrome]

Turning into Trichrome!!!!!

No no no no...

I have the copyright on the "trichrome" nickname......

Trichrome

 

[Blissful]

I actually registered so I could reply to this posting, THEN noticed how old the original post was. Well heck, I registered, so I'm going to reply!

My boyfriend proposed to me last week. In the flurry of looking at rings and generally feeling like a princess, I kept having these flashes of guilt. In the end I just blurted out that I couldn't see blowing our savings on a ring... a ring for me... especially when he wasn't getting anything out of it.

His reply?

"You're everything I've ever wanted. What I am getting is to see everything I've ever dreamed of walking around wearing MY ring."

Yep, I bawled. But I loved the answer!

B

 

[Don Giovanni]

The sceptics amongst us are obviously not romantics! Your future wife should be your best friend, soul mate, lover and the mother of your eventual family. Upon meeting your soul mate everything else, money included, will fade into insignificance and be put into perspective. Questions such as this demostrate a level of ignorance; sadly.

 

[valeria101]

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On 12/16/2002 8:29:51 PM Rook wrote:

Name one time, or one item that a woman buys for her man that she puts this much effort and thought into!
----------------

Errr... A car?! Would that do! I gave my nice ring to my fiancee (I the girl, to him) for keepsake and now I am getting mine for shows. Is this the perfect world for you?

Can't wait to hear back!

 

[marriahlyn]

In exchange for my engagement ring...(the one I requested was $4K, the one I got was much more)...I purchased my soon to be husband a Tag Heuer watch and I bought his $1050 wedding band and my $350 wedding band. I offered to put a diamond in his (wanted one of those .20 ACA) but he refused. It ended up being a good "trade" considering our incomes are quite different. My honey wanted something nice on my finger because it makes him proud. In the end it will be joint monies anyway so it's $7K (or whatever) that could have been in my savings too.

Yes you are right though wondering why you buy an expensive diamond ring with nothing in return. I like the tradition if I do say so myself!!

 

[wellman]

I happen to be a big planner guy. My proposal that I am planning a year in advance is going to be incredible, although I do not know all the details yet I am working a year in advance to plan everything perfectly. (Yes, I know you said not all men, but I don't think that men are all that lazy) Unless you are working and are footing the bill for everything that you plan. We work hard for that dollar. I feel that I and other men deserve respect even if were not romantic 24/7.

Wemon have High Demands. Whether you believe it or not it is true.
My woman does a lot for me and we aren't even married. While we don't sleep togethar. She gives me something that any other woman would fail at in a everyday basis.
RESPECT! wether im doing something right or wrong.
I mess up a lot so I know that my beloved is special and that there is no other like her that gives just as much as I do.

Anyway, that's what my woman gives me. respect
and it is all that I ask for.
So, I get everything I want.

 

[Groovy Chick]

I'm sorry, but you're obviously not in love.

 

[wellman]

.....and on what grounds do you say that I am not in Love.
"In Love" I never did agree with that statement. You can say these things only because you do not know me. Yet, I do not see how using the excuse of being "In Love" as you say. Can be a good reason to throw your morals out the window, give up your dreams, and settle for less when "people" get married and then complain of their spouses attitude or habits. I was not replying to the post above me FYI but one on the other page of wemon complaining about their husbands.
I believe that Love is a commitment not a frilly emotion. Love is something you choose to do. Love is sacrifice.(NO GREATER LOVE THAN THAT A MAN MAY LAY DOWN HIS LIFE FOR ANOTHER.) YES!! Miss Groovy Chick!! I do know Love and I sacrifice many things to be with she whom I save myself for. I shall never recieve something that I do not work my entire life to return 100 fold.
I may not have "fallen in Love" as so many divorcee's might say. Yet, I do know LOVE! I would suggest that you remember that next time you make a comment over things of which you know nothing about.

Pick up a bible groovy chick, and enlighten yourself. For I am more than what I seem.

P.S. I do apoligize for my above post earlier for I was upset at how wemon treat their husbands on this forum. This is not a problem site but a proposal site. So, Everyone I do apoligize for any harsh words I may have spoken.

Your Brother In Christ,
......

 

[fire&ice]

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On 2/3/2004 6:51:09 AM wellman wrote:
<BRthen complain of their spouses attitude or habits. I was not replying to the post above me FYI but one on the other page of wemon complaining about their husbands.
......----------------

Wow, all your post points to a total lack of respect for women. BTW, exactly what is a "wemon".

From your post, you don't even begin to know what Love *really* is. I would never think my husband loved me any less if he complained about an annoying habit. BTW, we have been happily married for 20 years. Respect has nothing to do w/ accepting crappy attitudes & habits. Respect has a *much* greater impact & meaning.

 

[mike04456]

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On 2/3/2004 10:02:56 AM fire&ice wrote:

Wow, all your post points to a total lack of respect for women.

----------------

To me, they point to having English as a (poor) second language. I'm not even certain I understand what he's trying to say. There's a valid point in there somewhere, but I can't find it.

 

[sumi]

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On 2/3/2004 6:51:09 AM wellman wrote:

.....

Pick up a bible groovy chick, and enlighten yourself. For I am more than what I seem.

......----------------

Err, that's kind of creepy....WHAT exactly are you?

 

[godiva]

This is such an old post!
For whomever made the comment about women not putting as much thought into the things that they buy for men.. that's completely not true. I give a lot of thought into everything I buy for my fiance. It could be anything from his favorite food to an expensive watch. Just because we don't spend as much money as for a diamond ring doesn't mean we don't put in the same amount of thought and care into it.

 

[Mara]

The funny thing is that trichrome, our favorite little devil in absentia, was just trying to stir the pot (as usual) with this post originally.




It lives, it lives!!!

Where is that boy anyway?!

 

[Nicrez]

Just a question? Has your girlfriend ever bought you anything unexpected where you did not return the favor with a gift? I hate to tally, but women reading this can probably empathize... If you want numbers and quantification, then here goes:

Me personally, I buy my BF socks and sweaters and programmable remote controls, expensive stupid DVD sets, and random things I see that he either needs, wants or would appreciate. If I totalled all those things, totalled the amount of time I spent going through his mail, sorting it, filing it, fighting with DMV, and various other ticketing agencies for his parking and driving, various other little stupid things, I would probably make it to several thousand dollars worth of cooking time, cleaning time, time spent with his friends I may not like, in functions I don't feel like being in, etc...

Human capital can be expensive, and my time is worth quite a bit per hour, and it adds up when I spend that time doing things solely for his benefit, not to mention expenses on paying his little tickets, toys and trinkets. If I was a numbers person, I could keep a running tally of things I have done for him, in minutes and seconds, fractions of dollars and pennies, add it up, and put a price tage on it. Bringing peace of mind and a family to life have no financial price tag. If they did, he would STILL owe me more jewelry than his paycheck could afford. But he pays me back in his own ways too. He does the same for me. Like barter, he trades his TV watching moments to help out my friends, he cooks when he really can't, to make me dinner, he waits for me countless times while I take hours to get ready, he goes to the store in the rain to get me medicine when I am sick and even allows himself to be "whipped" at times in front of my friends (but DEFINATELY not his...LOL), and all this evens out whatever it is we "owe" eachother.

My guy chose to get me a ring when he had enough money he could proudly buy a stone with. It's a lot, and yet he insists that this is something a man must do right, and that it is a point of pride to provide for your future wife-to-be well. I insisted on something cheaper, and save for a house. And when we get that house, who do you think will be cleaning it and organizing, folding, and putting away all our new stuff??? But he and I don't count what we do for eachother, because our sacrifices have no price tags. even if they could have, how petty and sad is it to do it? It's best to spend your money wisely, and what a better investment is there than to give the most important person in your life a token of your appreciation that they will be there for you "until death do you part". That's a small price tag to me...But I'd gladly buy him a diamond ring if he'd go for it. I find it fun!

 

[wellman]

Dear Lawgem,
Please explain to me how I lack respect for women.(however it is I should be spelling that.) I understand that this post was made out of a me attitude but that was not my intention. I do not expect you to understand. My true lack of respect is not for women but for men who cease to live up to the title "Man".
fire&ice,
Please forgive me for my mixed words. I have been the hermit type for many years and do need much work than other men. Yet, It is a rare day that I see men who are responsible and take charge. This is the type of wish to be towards any woman that I might marry. Please explain to me how I do not know what love is? Also, I would also appreciate your commentary of what you believe Love is. I did not mean to refer to respect as putting up with .... but as in general just being kind and understanding even when you dissagree. Please let me know if I am being to confusing. I generally have a problem with putting my thoughts into words.

P.S. I believe that women pull their wieght much more than men do and that is my problem with todays society and that is why I wish men not women were still looked upon as strong knights in shining armor.

 

[Nicrez]

Wellman, you seem to be idealistic, which is a wonderful triat. And hopefully you can be a knight in shining armor for some girl someday, but you do know that "being a man" is not just throwing down your coat on the floor when there's a puddle in front, right? My take on being a "man".

Learn strength and fortitude, it serves you well in times of crisis
Learn patience and understanding, you will always need it
Learn to "put yourself in their shoes" because it helps stop fights
Learn to take care of someone as much as they take care of you
Learn to be responsible for your deeds and misdeeds and their results
Learn to respect everyone, no matter how different, but respect yourself first
Learn to take care of yourself, and enjoy a woman's company for who she is and nothing more, no one else can fulfil you but yourself
Learn to learn from your mistakes and try never to repeat them
Learn that changing yourself for the better is a long process that requires other people's input and respect that
Learn the change isn't always a bad thing
Learn the Golden Rule, because no one else will treat you right until you do

So many more guidelines, but honestly, the Golden Rule sums them up. Whatever you do, don't hold on to only the romantic notion of being a "knight". To be a real man, you'll need to cry, change diapers, stand up for yourself and those you love, work hard, learn to let things go, respect opinions, be forgiving and never stop giving up your pride for something worth it. So when you do find someone who makes you want to sacrifice all the things you "thought" were so important, someone who makes you better and whom you hopefully have the same effect on, you'll know you are in love, I believe.

 

[tlnini]

Totally agreed with what was originally said....

I went through hell to find and pick out the ideal e-ring for my gf, and planned to ask the question at Valentine's day, but she gets ANGRY with me for not getting me anything for Valentine's... How screwed up is that.

Sometimes I wonder if it would've been easier to get just sometime from her from Apollo Diamonds.......Save me the time, energy, and money.

 

[Nicrez]

Not an expert here but you may want to communicate with your girlfriend, sounds like you got some issues there to work out before you pop the question...your saying SHE got angry with YOU for not getting YOU a gift? Maybe you should be talking before proposing...?

 

[Obsessed]

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On 12/16/2002 8:57:03 PM trichrome wrote:

hehehe Rook,

I agree 100000 times with you....

Of course, I'll do everything to please her and to make
that moment so special for us.... but I'm the kind
of guy who would also like to be pleased one day..
that much.....!!!!!!

/www.pricescope.com/idealbb/images/smilies/1.gif[/img]> ----------------

LOL!!! You mean to say you weren't pleased with the 'special treat

' following your proposal? Seriously, I think a man is willing to go through all this because he is in love with her and she deserves it by simply being a beautiful person inside and out! Some woman go the extra mile and really takes care of a man.... I myself feel like I am stronger and more capable with my fiancee than by myself since she makes up for my character flaws. We men have it good in the 21st Century.... nobody is obligated nor expected to court a woman the way it was done in the past. Besides, we don't have to give birth... I'd rather spend a months or two worth of time and money than to carry a baby for 9 months

and give up 2-6 months of salary to give birth

. Wait a minute.... I think I've put a finger on something.

 

[silentlybleeding]

you are so lame. no one is holding a gun to your head forcing you to do anything and obviously if it gets to the point of marriage, you found a girl that does do things for you.. we do exist, just hard to find. we are the ones you mena re cheating on and hitting.

 

[Kat]

You should ask a girl to marry you for love, not reward. And you should want to do it, not be pressured into it by her or anyone else.

Yes, a nice ring can be expensive and women do not have to purchase anything that costs so much. On the other hand I got told off (not very seriously) for spending more than my bf did on Valentine's Day. Plus he was at work that day and came home to a candlelit meal that he could tell I had put a lot of thought into. So there are times that women are the spenders and the planners, and it felt good to see how much he appreciated it after a hard day at work. That was my reward.

 

[Ekknog]

I think I'm going to hurl.

 

[foundnemo]

The original poster was probably just trying to stir the pot, and the pot was stirred!

There is no such thing as fairness in love. If you are resentful then there's something wrong with your relationship.

It's great for those of you who put in the thoughtfulness and time to plan and give the best to your girl. But don't think for a minute that she hasn't done anything quite as thoughtful or time consuming for you. Personally when I put in the effort to do something nice for my fiance I would never tell him or complain to him how much effort I put in, because it's what I want to do for him and it's not for me to guilt-trip him to get something for me. (Ring = sex?!

Is that a joke?) So maybe that's why some of you men are complaining because you don't know about the things your loved one did for you.

Do something because you want to and not because you feel obligated to.