Rehearsal dinner invitations

[zoebartlett]

What are you doing for your RD invitations? Who is taking care of gathering all of the information (location, time, menu choices [if applicable], etc.), sending out the invites, and keeping track of RSVPs?

I know this is traditionally handled by the groom''s family but my FI doesn''t feel comfortable asking them to take care of it. He keeps saying, "I''m 35, not 22. Why should my parents help with this?" My reply was that it would be one less thing that we''d have to think about. My FI and I are going to do the actual planning -- it would just be nice if someone else took over coordinating something.

I''m in a bad, bad mood right now and this isn''t helping.

Putting my mood aside, I really am curious how everyone else is handling this. I didn''t post this just to vent (but it helped).

 

[Gypsy]

I would order them, draft them etc... but ask his family to keep track of them, and put their address on the reply cards. Split the work with them-- maybe they want to be included? If not, then you do the drafting, ordering but have your VERY grown up man do all the tracking etc, since he's apparently very capable of it and volunterring himself for it. You go ahead and vent honey. If you don't mind I'm gonna too.

John keeps swearing his mother is going to do some kind of rehersal thing. I haven't seen any evidence of it, have no idea how it would be handled as she's in NJ and the wedding is here. She hasn't mentioned one word to me. And she's NOT a planner, does everything at the last second because she waits around procrastinating everything like magic elves are going to come flying out of... well, anyway. I keep getting questions about this, and I have no idea what to say, so I say "No, we're not having a rehearsal dinner or anything, or wedding and bridal party are really small so no need." and John gets this funny look on his face like he's gonna contradict me and I have to stomp on his foot then in private say "Unless you have PROOF of this rehersal thingy I'm NOT advertising it. I'd rather surprise them with having one, than promise something that isn't gonna happen."

Okay. My vent over. Sorry.

 

[zoebartlett]

I hear ya! I agree with you -- I wouldn''t mention any details to anyone until there ARE details. What if you mentioned it to someone and then your FILs chose a place that couldn''t accomodate the number of people you wanted? I don''t know if that''s a consideration for you but I thought I''d throw it out there.

As far as my FILs offering to help, I occasionally get the random "let me know if I can help or if you need anything." For me, that''s not specific enough. "I''d love to help stuff invitation envelopes" or "I''d love to help put welcome bags together" or something more concrete would be better. I know, I know, my FMIL offered help and I''m not being gracious enough. Bad bad Zoe.

I have a feeling we''ll end up taking care of the invitations to the RD ourselves. I do like the idea of splitting the work in half and if they''re up for it we''ll see if they can pitch in.

 

[Gypsy]

Well, if they aren''t offering specific things to do, maybe they (giving benifit of doubt) don''t know what you specifically need the most help with and are being intentionally open to do anything? That''s how I''d take it and volunteer them to do things. Since they asked.

Only ONE person in either of our families OR our bridal party as asked to help me with anything in terms of planning. My uncle''s wife. So I''d try to be appreciative of the fact that even if its vague... they are offering.

As for my situation. If it comes up again I''m just gonna tell him he needs to pin it down with her get a budget and plan the sucker himself. LOL. It''s gonna be a lunch or brunch, our rehearsal is at like 10:30 AM. There''s going to be only a limited number of people invited... like 20. So, a restuarant is fine. He just needs to pick one, and we''ll send out E-Vites, but from her (so that we don''t look like WE are the lazy ones), and it will be done. But I''m not comitting to it until I have some sort of evidence of this whole thing.

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 3/7/2008 7:08:42 PM
Author: Gypsy
Well, if they aren''t offering specific things to do, maybe they (giving benifit of doubt) don''t know what you specifically need the most help with and are being intentionally open to do anything? That''s how I''d take it and volunteer them to do things. Since they asked.

Only ONE person in either of our families OR our bridal party as asked to help me with anything in terms of planning. My uncle''s wife. So I''d try to be appreciative of the fact that even if its vague... they are offering.

As for my situation. If it comes up again I''m just gonna tell him he needs to pin it down with her get a budget and plan the sucker himself. LOL. It''s gonna be a lunch or brunch, our rehearsal is at like 10:30 AM. There''s going to be only a limited number of people invited... like 20. So, a restuarant is fine. He just needs to pick one, and we''ll send out E-Vites, but from her (so that we don''t look like WE are the lazy ones), and it will be done. But I''m not comitting to it until I have some sort of evidence of this whole thing.

I know, I know. That''s selfish of me and I apologize. Really. I should be more appreciative. Thanks for keeping me in check.

 

[happy in love]

We are skipping invites. We have told everyone that we want to about it, it is an informal gathering at my Dad''s house. We don''t have a wedding party, so really it is just family anyway, and a few long time friends.
I didn''t think I would skip another chance to make up invites, but when it came down to it, we didn''t have an exact plan (still don''t totally) so I didn''t want to make up invites and then end up having to change them!

 

[Gypsy]

E-VITE baby. You change anything and it sends out notices to everyone. No phone calls or anything involved. Ours will be (fi we have one) totally informal and small so I''m not concerned about how it looks at all. Plus, it''s a reflection on her, not on me. And while I love the woman, her laziness (just a part of her nature, she''s apparently ALWAYS been that way. John has a neice just like her too, I love that child but her lengths she''ll go to to avoid doing ANYTHING are is just astonishing) drives me up the freaking wall.

 

[Krissie]

We''re doing it all, mainly because fi''s parents are overseas and they don''t really have a rehearsal dinner tradition in England (or so they tell me!) I found really cute invitations at Wedding Paper Divas, so we''ll be ordering those. We put together the guest list this week, and we''ll send them out at the same time we send the invitations - because most of the invitees are from outside the United States.

 

[VRBeauty]

The RD''s I''ve been to have used word-of-mouth and phone calls rather than mailed invites. The only caution I''d add (speaking from experience!) is not to assume that the expected guests .. i.e. OOT family members who aren''t part of the wedding party ... just somehow know that they''re invited. Make sure the people that you want there get a phone call or email....

 

[zoebartlett]

I think we''ve decided to just take care of the invitations ourselves, but if my FMIL offers to help with something, I''ll take her up on her offer.

 

[swimmer]

Hey ZB, we are doing the same thing and sending out the invites ourselves, but with fMIL as the rsvp contact (phone and email). Its just easier to do things on your own right?

So, right now I''m looking online for photos of riverboats (our RD is on one) as I want to make a postcard invite. Vistaprint isn''t a bad deal, and I figure if the image is B/W and looks vintage, then it won''t matter if they blur or mess it a bit. They have 100pcards for free, just have to cover shipping and 8$ for them to upload my photo. We used them for our TY notes and like them OK, we just didn''t do a back design so they put a VistaPrint label there. Boooo. But who will care or notice other than my mom?

So making a postcard is my cheapest and easiest idea so far...thinking of doing the address label stickers in some sort of vintage font of that nature...just to really embrace all time-saving avenues so as to waste my time doing more fun things.
Stay warm and enjoy today''s sun!