Rehearsal Dinner - Seperate invite?

[SanchezVVV]

Hey ladies,

How did you/are you handling the rehearsal dinner invite if not everyone invited to the wedding is invited? My FI''s mom is asking how we want to do this. Their family is paying for the RD and plans on paying for the RD invites/RSVP.

Are you having a seperate invite/RSVP entirely?

And addition invite/RSVP in the wedding invite package?

Any pros or cons you can think of?

And I guess, if it is seperate did you use the same stationary? Does it matter?

Thanks for your input!!!

 

[sumbride]

It is usually separate and does not have to go out at the same time as the wedding invite.

Mine was a glossy card with a photo that I took outside the place we had the dinner. Very different than the wedding invite. And they were mailed about a month later. RSVPs were also separate. I think it depends on how formal your event is as to how you handle it, but the RD is usually less formal than the wedding. It''s also your place to have a little more fun.

 

[anchor31]

This might not work for you, but our wedding is a casual to semi-formal day-time event, so our RD is very casual, a catered buffet at my parents' place. There'll only be about 13-15 people there, and I'm planning on calling them one month in advance. No fuss and no costs.

 

[laine]

I''ve only been to one RD that had an actual invite. Most were done verbally, or over email. Anyway, the one with the invite was mailed separately, maybe a month before the wedding. It was on cute cardstock, probably printed at home (matched the general colors of the wedding but didn''t match the invitation). RSVP was by email or phone.

 

[SanchezVVV]

Thanks for the input... guess some more details would be helpful.

The wedding is in Feb. The RD is in a mini ballroom at the hotel where the guests will be staying (so not as formal as the wedding but people will be wearing cocktail dresses and button downs). The guest like will be between 60-70ppl. It will be from 7-10pm.

Does that change anything?

 

[Independent Gal]

I wouldn't do it on the same stationery, partly because, presumably, there are different hosts for each event? Other than that, I don't think it matters: insert in the wedding invitation envelope, totally separate invitation, or just e-mail everyone.

The only paper invitation I ever got to a rehearsal dinner was the one we just got from FI's parents to OURS.

So I think it's OK just to use casual meants if you prefer.

 

[surfgirl]

Usually a separate invite goes out and typically/traditionally, the RD is for the wedding party, immediate family and all OOT guests...So local guests shouldn''t feel slighted.

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 2/26/2008 11:45:55 AM
Author:SanchezVVV
Hey ladies,

How did you/are you handling the rehearsal dinner invite if not everyone invited to the wedding is invited? My FI''s mom is asking how we want to do this. Their family is paying for the RD and plans on paying for the RD invites/RSVP.

Are you having a seperate invite/RSVP entirely?

And addition invite/RSVP in the wedding invite package?

Any pros or cons you can think of?

And I guess, if it is seperate did you use the same stationary? Does it matter?

Thanks for your input!!!

We''ve chosen the restaurant for our RD but we don''t have many other details planned yet. We''re going to have a separate invitation for the RD and we''re NOT including info. about it on our wedding website. We''re treating the wedding and the rehearsal dinner very differently, not connected at all. I think our RD guest list will be approximately 30 or so but our guest list for the actual wedding/reception is around 160 or so.

We''re probably going to either make our own invitations for our RD or buy them somewhere. We had a printer design and make our save the date cards and our wedding invitations but she''s not going to do the RD invitations.

 

[gtn]

I''ve never gotten an actual paper invite to a rehearsal dinner. I have been invited by phone or face to face. But if you want to do invites, I would send them separately.

 

[laine]

Date: 2/26/2008 12:35:31 PM
Author: SanchezVVV
The wedding is in Feb. The RD is in a mini ballroom at the hotel where the guests will be staying (so not as formal as the wedding but people will be wearing cocktail dresses and button downs). The guest like will be between 60-70ppl. It will be from 7-10pm.


Does that change anything?

Nope, doesn''t change my answer. The RD I received an invitation for was similar, though at a country club. I would still do invitations separately, on non matching stationery, though I would make it a little more formal so people know the event will be formal. I still think they should be sent after the wedding invitations, a little closer to the wedding, and I think phoned or emailed RSVPs would be fine, though a response card would work as well.

If everyone invited to the wedding is invited to the rehearsal dinner (I''ve seen this done with cocktail party type events, particularly when everyone is OOT), then go ahead and throw an extra card into the wedding invite, and the reply card can include lines where they can check off which events they''ll be attending.

 

[Haven]

I''ve always received separate invites to rehearsal dinners, but perhaps that''s a regional thing? (I''m in Chicago)

I did receive one e-vite, and I must admit that I thought it a bit tacky. But I''m a curmudgeon and I love real stationery, so I''m quite partial.

We''re going to send out a separate invitation, but we won''t be doing any sort of response card because all of the invited guests will be there for the rehearsal, anyway.

 

[isaku5]

Up here, the RD is for those who would attend the actual rehearsal (the bridal party) and their spouses/SO''s.

If you''re having guests from out of town, it would be wise to invite them too with a special invitation. The bridal party''s notice can be by word of mouth or even less formally by e-mail.

 

[zoebartlett]

Hmmm, now I''m thinking about this more. If you do send a paper invitation, should you have a reply card or just say something like "Please RSVP by [date]," with your phone number and/or e-mail address included?

 

[SanchezVVV]

Very helpful feedback. We are inviting the bridal party/readers, immediate family, and extended family (60-70ppl) but not all out of town guests... So it''s kinda tricky. If we invited all out of town guests it would be pretty much be the 150 who will be at the wedding.

I think the separate invite in a complimentary style seems like the way to go.

I appreciate the feedback... feel free to offer up any additional thoughts.

One lingering question I do have is... should we be trying to do anything for the out of town guests who are not invited? Since the RD is in the same hotel that everyone is staying and there is a bar and restaurant there - would it be necessary/appropriate to suggest they all grab a drink there around 9-10 and that we will meet them there after the RD? Are you guys doing anything for guests that night?