Shorts too short...should I tell her??

[CJ2008]

I am quite chunky myself so I want to set the record straight and say that my comments were not having a go at people of any particular size. Having said that we all know that pouring yourself into clothing regardless of your size that is way too small for you that has large chunks of anything hang out or over clothing really isn't that flattering a look and lets face it there ARE age appropriate ways to dress and there aren't and like or not, (discriminatory or not) you all know what I am talking about here.

I do know what you're saying. Where I was coming from and what I was trying to put out there to consider/talk about is that "not appropriate" is not appropriate whether you're 25, 55, 110, or 210 pounds. Butt cheeks are butt cheeks, even though yes, a 25 year old at 110 pounds WILL look better (most likely) and less not appropriate / would blend in more than a 55 year old 210 pound woman.

 

[LLJsmom]

Please forgive for adding this, but since I asked the original question, I will try to describe more accurately what I saw. The shorts were a short style. I understand these shorts and I don't object to them because they are short-short. I have some myself that others may object to (although not as short as these). (Makemepretty said at the beginning that it was a matter of opinion. So true. Made me think twice about saying anything.) I have cellulite that shows when I wear my shorts, and people may be certainly objecting to that, and not coming up to tell me.

However, I was thinking that she did not intend to show what she did. The shorts were kinda cut like the underwear with the curve from the crotch area curving upward.

http://thechive.com/2012/07/31/who-...orts-30-photos/sexy-girls-in-short-shorts-11/

Similar to the left side if you are looking straight on. They weren't as filled out as this picture.

But the edges of the shorts were purposely frayed so they hid any extra showing. However on this girl the edge was folded up on one side so it revealed a bit more. That is why I thought that she may not have meant to show as much. But maybe you're right that she doesn't care, or wanted to, or saw no problem with any of it. Just a matter of opinion. And since she's the one wearing it, it's only her opinion that matters. Not mine.

Sorry, didn't mean to start a contentious discussion. My bad...

 

[arkieb1]

Nope that is just fashion. We have lots of people wear them here in the summer of all different shapes and sizes and you can see a whole eyeful more than that if you are not careful.... she might have not realised that she was showing off more than they were designed for, but I suspect she probably (as most people who buy them and wear them) didn't care.

 

[CJ2008]

Please forgive for adding this, but since I asked the original question, I will try to describe more accurately what I saw. The shorts were a short style. I understand these shorts and I don't object to them because they are short-short. I have some myself that others may object to (although not as short as these). (Makemepretty said at the beginning that it was a matter of opinion. So true. Made me think twice about saying anything.) I have cellulite that shows when I wear my shorts, and people may be certainly objecting to that, and not coming up to tell me.

However, I was thinking that she did not intend to show what she did. The shorts were kinda cut like the underwear with the curve from the crotch area curving upward.

http://thechive.com/2012/07/31/who-...orts-30-photos/sexy-girls-in-short-shorts-11/

Similar to the left side if you are looking straight on. They weren't as filled out as this picture.

But the edges of the shorts were purposely frayed so they hid any extra showing. However on this girl the edge was folded up on one side so it revealed a bit more. That is why I thought that she may not have meant to show as much. But maybe you're right that she doesn't care, or wanted to, or saw no problem with any of it. Just a matter of opinion. And since she's the one wearing it, it's only her opinion that matters. Not mine.

Sorry, didn't mean to start a contentious discussion. My bad...

OK that girl has a killer body lucky her

I don't know if you're referring to anything I brought up here with ABGF and arkib1 but there isn't an OUNCE of anything on my end other than wanting to hear and discuss the topic of what's appropriate and how we determine who should/can wear that (although I am realizing it's a thread jack. So my bad on that one!)

 

[LLJsmom]

Nope that is just fashion. We have lots of people wear them here in the summer of all different shapes and sizes and you can see a whole eyeful more than that if you are not careful.... she might have not realised that she was showing off more than they were designed for, but I suspect she probably (as most people who buy them and wear them) didn't care.

Well, that's awesome!! Good to be clued in on the trends. It's confirmed. I am the old stick in the mud. Arkieb1, if I ever make it to Australia, I will bust out my idea of short shorts, (and probably look like an old grandma) and wear them proudly.

Ooops!!! No offense to grandmas!!! They probably look better in short shorts than me. (Let me tell you. My mom does, and she's pushing 69.)

 

[arkieb1]

Nope that is just fashion. We have lots of people wear them here in the summer of all different shapes and sizes and you can see a whole eyeful more than that if you are not careful.... she might have not realised that she was showing off more than they were designed for, but I suspect she probably (as most people who buy them and wear them) didn't care.

Well, that's awesome!! Good to be clued in on the trends. It's confirmed. I am the old stick in the mud. Arkieb1, if I ever make it to Australia, I will bust out my idea of short shorts, (and probably look like an old grandma) and wear them proudly.

It's hot and humid in the state I live in 3/4s of the year so you won't look like an old grandma at all you will just fit right in!!!!

 

[CJ2008]

if I ever make it to Australia, I will bust out my idea of short shorts, (and probably look like an old grandma) and wear them proudly.

and yay on the wearing them proudly, a little cellulite and all.

Now if only I could bring MYSELF to wear shorts!

 

[aljdewey]

There is a young woman in line at my fave restaurant and she's got great legs but her shorts are just way too short. I mean seeing the bottom curve of her bare butt short. She is there with her boyfriend (I think). She doesn't look extra made up or trying to flaunt anything. Maybe she just doesn't know. Should I tell her? I would want someone to tell me...

I was in a very similar situation a few years ago - while spending the day with my friend and her 3 kids at our local amusement park, we saw a woman further down the sidewalk in one of those super-short skirts with PINK written across the behind. Said woman repeatedly bent over while tender to her toddler in a stroller, giving anyone in view a very unexpected confirmation of her decision to go "commando" that day.

My horrified friend wondered if we should tell her; I said "nope. I'm sure she's well aware of where that hemline falls on her behind, and I'm sure she factored that in her decision to run around sans bloomers today."

Sure, I thought it was too short. But not my ass hanging out, so not my place to offer an opinion.

 

[monarch64]

I just hope these people are sitting on towels as they dine. Ever worn short shorts and sat on a varnished piece of wood or leather seat? OUCH! when you remove yourself from said seat upon finishing your meal. (Not to mention the microorganisms that may creep into your whatnot if there isn't a layer of fabric in between. Just sayin'.)

 

[TooPatient]

I tend to ignore those wearing things I don't agree with because they usually know they are doing it. If it is a skirt stuck in the nylons in back, I'll mention. If it is a completely see through top with mini-bra I will roll my eyes after she is gone and move on with my life.

There is one exception I can think of...
I was getting groceries one day last summer and these two high school girls were walking in front of me as I tried to get to the checkout line. One was whining that some other girl had called her a whore and she couldn't understand why. I muttered (loudly enough to be heard) as I got past them that maybe it was because she was dressed like a slutty tramp.

 

[AGBF]

...and, for the record, my daughter does not wear shorts like that. Hers look more like this. Her shirt, however, may not be tucked into her shorts!!!! At the moment she does not have a belly button ring in, but she has had both the upper and the lower belly button piercings done in the past. (Oh joy.)

Deb/AGBF

 

[LaraOnline]

Nope that is just fashion. We have lots of people wear them here in the summer of all different shapes and sizes and you can see a whole eyeful more than that if you are not careful.... she might have not realised that she was showing off more than they were designed for, but I suspect she probably (as most people who buy them and wear them) didn't care.

Well, that's awesome!! Good to be clued in on the trends. It's confirmed. I am the old stick in the mud. Arkieb1, if I ever make it to Australia, I will bust out my idea of short shorts, (and probably look like an old grandma) and wear them proudly.

It's hot and humid in the state I live in 3/4s of the year so you won't look like an old grandma at all you will just fit right in!!!!

I live in Australia and have never in my whole life worn 'short shorts'. Maybe I reserve the right to think of my body as sensual and private lol.
But more honestly it's probably mostly because the only moral judgement in clothing made these days is whether the body is aesthetically pleasing enough to be shown in public and as such, I dare not risk judgement. lol.

 

[arkieb1]

Hi Lara, I didn't say I wear them either, but I live in QLD where it is hot most of the year so lots and lots of people wear them in the summer, young, old, I've seen people wearing lots of exceedingly short things here. I used to live in Sydney many years ago, I make the general observation by in large people dressed better there, but it wasn't as humid there either.

 

[missy]

If it's a complete stranger then no, I wouldn't say a thing. Not my business in any way shape or form (pun intended). However, if it's a friend then I would just to make her aware in case she doesn't realize what she's showing.

However if I am chatting with a stranger and they have something stuck in their teeth or lipstick on their teeth I am happy to make them aware. That is something I know they did not intend even with being someone I don't know. However their shorts? I don't know them and don't know their sensibilities and in any case it is really and truly none of my business.

 

[MollyMalone]

I was in a very similar situation a few years ago - while spending the day with my friend and her 3 kids at our local amusement park, we saw a woman further down the sidewalk in one of those super-short skirts with PINK written across the behind. Said woman repeatedly bent over while tender to her toddler in a stroller, giving anyone in view a very unexpected confirmation of her decision to go "commando" that day.

My horrified friend wondered if we should tell her; I said "nope. I'm sure she's well aware of where that hemline falls on her behind, and I'm sure she factored that in her decision to run around sans bloomers today."

Sure, I thought it was too short. But not my a$$ hanging out, so not my place to offer an opinion.

If your naked a$$ and/or pudendum is on show at a family amusement park, I would say something to you -- but be assured, AGBF, I'd do it kindly!

 

[iLander]

My teen daughter interpreted this trend and the accompanying slang for us.

These shorts are called "booty shorts".

And you only wear them if you are "thirsty" (horny ).

They are often worn by a girl who is a "ratchet" (ethnic trashy) or "basic" (caucasian trashy).

So . . . yeah . . . chances are she knew exactly what she was wearing.

 

[monarch64]

My teen daughter interpreted this trend and the accompanying slang for us.

These shorts are called "booty shorts".

And you only wear them if you are "thirsty" (horny ).

They are often worn by a girl who is a "ratchet" (ethnic trashy) or "basic" (caucasian trashy).

So . . . yeah . . . chances are she knew exactly what she was wearing.

Uh oh. That's what they used to say about mini skirts! You know, (and I'm not trying to stir the pot, I swear) that kind of mentality is the same as saying a rape victim somehow "asked for it" because of the way she was dressed. I'm not a fan of slut-shaming or victim-blaming. I think we need to be careful in our word choices because it's a slippery slope. I understand that it's teenage slang, but the attitude behind it, that only certain types of women wear revealing clothing, is the underlying issue. I don't mean to single out your daughter or you; lots of people share those opinions.

I guess I just think it isn't really anyone's right to tell someone else how to dress or what NOT to wear (unless you're Stacey and Clinton). The idea that "good girls" don't wear revealing clothing and "bad girls" are basic bitches who wear booty shorts and low cut tops seems so outdated and so contradictory to the feminist as well as the pro-choice movement, both of which I happen to believe strongly in.

 

[momhappy]

Heck, no. Quite frankly, it's none of your business how short her shorts are. Maybe she likes them that way? It's not for you to decide/dictate what other people might find appropriate/acceptable. And, the line of reasoning that you would want to know makes no sense because we all have different opinions/individual preferences/personal style, so just because short-shorts may not be for you, they might be for someone else. I'm honestly surprised that you would even have to ask if you should tell someone that you think that their shorts are too short She is not harming anyone in any way, so go on with your own business and move on with life.

 

[momhappy]

My teen daughter interpreted this trend and the accompanying slang for us.

These shorts are called "booty shorts".

And you only wear them if you are "thirsty" (horny ).

They are often worn by a girl who is a "ratchet" (ethnic trashy) or "basic" (caucasian trashy).

So . . . yeah . . . chances are she knew exactly what she was wearing.

I find this post slightly offensive.
To say that someone ONLY/OFTEN wears short-shorts because of X,Y or Z is not a fair statement. There are lots of reasons why someone might choose to wear short-shorts and who are we to judge (without knowing them)?

 

[MollyMalone]

I guess I just think it isn't really anyone's right to tell someone else how to dress or what NOT to wear (unless you're Stacey and Clinton). The idea that "good girls" don't wear revealing clothing and "bad girls" are basic bitches who wear booty shorts and low cut tops seems so outdated and so contradictory to the feminist as well as the pro-choice movement, both of which I happen to believe strongly in.

Is yours an absolutist position ? As an employer/supervisor, I'm very comfortable with counseling those who come to work in attire that's not appropriate (I've done it more than once over the years).

 

[AGBF]

I guess I just think it isn't really anyone's right to tell someone else how to dress or what NOT to wear (unless you're Stacey and Clinton). The idea that "good girls" don't wear revealing clothing and "bad girls" are basic bitches who wear booty shorts and low cut tops seems so outdated and so contradictory to the feminist as well as the pro-choice movement, both of which I happen to believe strongly in.

Is yours an absolutist position ? As an employer/supervisor, I'm very comfortable with counseling those who come to work in attire that's not appropriate (I've done it more than once over the years).

Of course. But I believe you said that you would say something to a stranger in an amusement park as well.

Deb

 

[CJ2008]

My teen daughter interpreted this trend and the accompanying slang for us.

These shorts are called "booty shorts".

And you only wear them if you are "thirsty" (horny ).

They are often worn by a girl who is a "ratchet" (ethnic trashy) or "basic" (caucasian trashy).

So . . . yeah . . . chances are she knew exactly what she was wearing.

That's pretty scary that that's the known "rule" among teenagers, that if anyone is wearing shorts that short, they must know that they're advertising they're horny (and asking for it?)

 

[Niel]

My teen daughter interpreted this trend and the accompanying slang for us.

These shorts are called "booty shorts".

And you only wear them if you are "thirsty" (horny ).

They are often worn by a girl who is a "ratchet" (ethnic trashy) or "basic" (caucasian trashy).

So . . . yeah . . . chances are she knew exactly what she was wearing.

That's pretty scary that that's the known "rule" among teenagers, that if anyone is wearing shorts that short, they must know that they're advertising they're horny (and asking for it?)

Its sad because that's such a typical remark of rape culture.

I may think its trampy. But its not like I've never gone out in a short skirt.... Women should be allowed to dress tampy without people thinking they are asking for it.

 

[AGBF]

Uh oh. That's what they used to say about mini skirts! You know, (and I'm not trying to stir the pot, I swear) that kind of mentality is the same as saying a rape victim somehow "asked for it" because of the way she was dressed. I'm not a fan of slut-shaming or victim-blaming. I think we need to be careful in our word choices because it's a slippery slope.

I could not agree with you more. I took offense as soon as I "heard" the word "tramp" in this thread. How dare anyone decide that a pair of shorts makes a "tramp"?

One might think that I raised a child who wear a lot of make-up and revealing clothing from the way that I am posting. In reality, my daughter usually wear no make-up at all. And no jewelry at all. And she was raised in Lilly Pulitzer clothing. That is not the point. The point is that kenny was right. People should be able to wear what they like and let others wear what they like.

And I am not speaking about work. Obviously. I am a professional myself.

Deb/AGBF

 

[aljdewey]

Uh oh. That's what they used to say about mini skirts! You know, (and I'm not trying to stir the pot, I swear) that kind of mentality is the same as saying a rape victim somehow "asked for it" because of the way she was dressed. I'm not a fan of slut-shaming or victim-blaming. I think we need to be careful in our word choices because it's a slippery slope. I understand that it's teenage slang, but the attitude behind it, that only certain types of women wear revealing clothing, is the underlying issue.

I can't wholly agree with this. To be clear, I don't think anyone is ever asking to be raped, regardless of how they dress.

That said, I do feel people who consciously choose to wear overly revealing clothes are seeking attention, and it works in that they do draw it.

Like it or not, people do make judgments about us by the way we choose to project ourselves to those around us, and if we care how we may be perceived, we factor that into our choices.

I could tell you what I thought about the commando woman at the amusement park.......but I suspect I wouldn't have to. (And to be clear, I didn't think she was advertising, asking for it, or on the prowl.)

 

[Niel]

Uh oh. That's what they used to say about mini skirts! You know, (and I'm not trying to stir the pot, I swear) that kind of mentality is the same as saying a rape victim somehow "asked for it" because of the way she was dressed. I'm not a fan of slut-shaming or victim-blaming. I think we need to be careful in our word choices because it's a slippery slope.

I could not agree with you more. I took offense as soon as I "heard" the word "tramp" in this thread. How dare anyone decide that a pair of shorts makes a "tramp"?

One might think that I raised a child who wear a lot of make-up and revealing clothing from the way that I am posting. In reality, my daughter usually wear no make-up at all. And no jewelry at all. And she was raised in Lilly Pulitzer clothing. That is not the point. The point is that kenny was right. People should be able to wear what they like and let others wear what they like.

And I am not speaking about work. Obviously. I am a professional myself.

Deb/AGBF

I said " trampy". Which would imply like a tramp. And its not a judgment. As I said everyone can dress trampy. I'm sure I've dressed trampy. Just as I've dressed punk-y and like a hippy. Ones personality is not defined by their clothes. And dressing trampy isn't necessarily a negative. Dress risqué, what do I care. I fully believe a woman is allowed to do that

 

[MollyMalone]

But I believe you said that you would say something to a stranger in an amusement park as well.
Deb

Yes, I would kindly whisper to an obviously commando'd woman at a family amusement park.

 

[iLander]

My teen daughter interpreted this trend and the accompanying slang for us.

These shorts are called "booty shorts".

And you only wear them if you are "thirsty" (horny ).

They are often worn by a girl who is a "ratchet" (ethnic trashy) or "basic" (caucasian trashy).

So . . . yeah . . . chances are she knew exactly what she was wearing.

That's pretty scary that that's the known "rule" among teenagers, that if anyone is wearing shorts that short, they must know that they're advertising they're horny (and asking for it?)

Its sad because that's such a typical remark of rape culture.

I may think its trampy. But its not like I've never gone out in a short skirt.... Women should be allowed to dress tampy without people thinking they are asking for it.

NOOOOOO! It's not a rape thing at all.

It's considered okay for a girl to be that way. Among teens, it's an "enjoying your own sexuality thing".

Within their own sub-groups, it's fine.

I put in the word "trashy" because IMHO it is not right. But that's me, someone old-fashioned that wishes a comitted relationship came before sex. But what do I know? Here we go again . . .

 

[crown1]

Although I would say nothing I would have an opinion. I think that those are still allowed, just as one can wear shorts with a portion of their cheeks hanging out. Nothing is shocking any more but that doesn't mean it is pretty. And while I made the statement that I don't necessarily find it pretty I am confident there are those who do. I do wonder how comfortable those "booty" shorts would be. Even if I had the figure or desire to wear them I am afraid I would not find them comfortable. We need to remember that you can wear the type shorts you like but while no one should accost you they will still have an opinion, most likely. Had I seen it my thought would have been, my eyes, my eyes. Different strokes.

 

[Niel]

My teen daughter interpreted this trend and the accompanying slang for us.

These shorts are called "booty shorts".

And you only wear them if you are "thirsty" (horny ).

They are often worn by a girl who is a "ratchet" (ethnic trashy) or "basic" (caucasian trashy).

So . . . yeah . . . chances are she knew exactly what she was wearing.

That's pretty scary that that's the known "rule" among teenagers, that if anyone is wearing shorts that short, they must know that they're advertising they're horny (and asking for it?)

Its sad because that's such a typical remark of rape culture.

I may think its trampy. But its not like I've never gone out in a short skirt.... Women should be allowed to dress tampy without people thinking they are asking for it.

NOOOOOO! It's not a rape thing at all.

It's considered okay for a girl to be that way. Among teens, it's an "enjoying your own sexuality thing".

Within their own sub-groups, it's fine.

I put in the word "trashy" because IMHO it is not right. But that's me, someone old-fashioned that wishes a comitted relationship came before sex. But what do I know? Here we go again . . .

Oh I get you. I think your comment with the second comment of someone saying "asking for it" took my mind there.

I think its fine to dress trampy. Show off a bit. A man can go running topless and no one questions his motives. I consider that trampy as well.