slightly crude humor: Tiffany diamond bracelet

[movie zombie]

you were warned! don''t proceed if you''re easily offended! a friend sent this to me and i just couldn''t help but post it here:



A lady walks into Tiffany. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond
bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more
closely she inadvertently breaks wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around
nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a
sales person doesn''t pop up right now.

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a
salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying
complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, "Good day,
Madam. How may we help you today?"

Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been
there at the time of her little ''accident'', she asks, "Sir, what is the
price of this lovely bracelet?"

He answers, "Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you''re going to shit
when I tell you the price."

====================

sorry if this offended anyone but it certainly got me to smile!

movie zombie

 

[Linda W]

Movie Zombie,

It sure didn''t offend me. I had a good laugh. Thank you.

Linda

 

[door knob solitaire]

Offended....offended isn''t the right word. Appalled. Ashamed. Embarrassed and totally disappointed in you. I have suffered to a great extent and the damages are beyond my comprehension. I have it in my right mind to avoid all contact and posts of yours in the future. There is no telling how far you are willing to go on your next post.

We all must stand together against this sort of thing. Society isn''t safe with people such as yourself that go around posting thing in a public forum with reckless abandon. You need to attend sensitivity classes and maybe even some therapy.

Anything that resembles humor, or a joke, or makes light of a serious world must be avoided at all costs. I put my name first on the list to black ball you. I hope others will follow.

Signed....§

Hey zombie, seen any classic movies lately you can recommend? Film Noir suspense maybe?

 

[cutes814]

thanks for the laugh movie zombie....and dks!

 

[snlee]

LOL! Thanks for a good laugh!

 

[musey]

haha! That was a good one. Thanks, MZ

 

[EricaR]

That joke was right up my alley!

 

[Harleigh]

I love it! I''m sending that one to all my friends!

 

[DiamanteBlu]

ROTFL!

 

[movie zombie]

love it, DKS! no, no older film noir type films recently. although i do think the MICHAEL CLAYTON qualified as film noir........

movie zombie

 

[LegacyGirl]

I''ve heard that before and hearing it again just gave me the giggles

 

[door knob solitaire]

Yes Legacy...it has actually been posted here before. I think Storm and John??? were trading punch lines...I seem to think it was John...but it still has merit to be just as funny the second time around (of course in a non-proper sort of way)

.

 

[monarch64]

Hee hee hee, bathroom humor gets me every time.

 

[CrownJewel]

 

[emilina22]

hahaha that was funny thanks !!

 

[Deelight]

HEHEH thanks for the giggle I needed that

 

[bee*]

haha! I love it!

 

[Madam Bijoux]

That lady in Tiffany''s was not me.

 

[Ellen]

That was funny.

lol @ Madam!

 

[Miscka]

Thanks for the laugh!!

 

[isaku5]

That was my belly laugh for this morning!!

Thanks!

 

[bensbride]

I cracked up laughing and then forwarded it to my mom. Awesome! Thanks!

 

[FireGoddess]

HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

That was fantastic. I''m gonna have to remember that.

 

[movie zombie]

Madam B, just why is that left leg of yours in the avatar lifted?! and what explanation do you have the slight satisfied grin on the face of that avatar?!

until i read your denial, i hadn''t even noticed the fine detail of your avatar.........

however, i''m at that age when it could be me.....heavy heavy sigh.........

movie zombie

 

[Harriet]

I know Madam B is funny, but MZ is cracking me up too. Thanks, ladies.

 

[Ellen]

Date: 2/13/2008 8:55:55 PM
Author: movie zombie
Madam B, just why is that left leg of yours in the avatar lifted?! and what explanation do you have the slight satisfied grin on the face of that avatar?!

until i read your denial, i hadn''t even noticed the fine detail of your avatar.........

however, i''m at that age when it could be me.....heavy heavy sigh.........

movie zombie

 

[Madam Bijoux]

Hee Hee--actually, my avatar is doing a little dance, but I haven't figured out how to make her move here. (That's why one leg is lifted - she's in the middle of a dance step. That's my story and I'm sticking to it

)

 

[Lord Summerisle]

 

[metro]

OMG - oh, that totally made my morning! I am still giggling!