Sorry to be stupid, but pictures before ceremony?

[IWantAMilkshake]

People do this? Is this not against the whole bride/groom not seeing each other thing, or are they photos that can be done separately, or what?

 

[karasue91]

yep. we are doing pictures before the ceremony, and we are doing them together. to me, the whole not seeing each other before the ceremony is a little silly, and since our ceremony isn''t until 4pm it''s really just about logistics. plus i hate weddings where you have to wait around for the bridal party to get back from taking pictures. our ceremony and reception are at the same place so it''s not like there is time when they will be driving between the two locations. also i want fabulous pictures so i don''t want them to be rushed, and I want to go to a couple different locales! so we are doing pictures together and with the bridal party before the ceremony, then family pictures during the cocktail hour at the park that is walking distance from our ceremony/reception site.

i also like the idea of seeing each other before the ceremony so we aren''t such blubbering messes during it!! i''m sure there will be some crying when we say our vows (we are writing our own), but i''d rather minimize it by taking that first look at each other in private - hugging, kissing, crying, whatever - and then be nice and composed and relaxed for pictures and ceremony.

 

[misysu2]

Agreed. We''re doing photos beforehand. We hate it when we have to wait for couples to get theirs done after the ceremony. Makes more sense this way (although I''ve never been a "follow tradition" kinda girl...)

 

[enbcfsobe]

i was against this initially, but when i met with photographers and realized that if we didn''t we''d miss a large % of our reception, i was all for it. i''m putting in too much effort and see my relatives too infrequently to miss it because of an old superstition. given that we''ll have been living together for nearly 2 years by the time we get married, it just doesn''t make sense to miss an expensive, hard-to-plan and hopefully fun party!

 

[sunnyd]

All of my friends have done it that way also. It''s just been the best time to do them! Plus the added bonus of not having to wait around for an hour while pics are taken.

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

We aren''t doing it before because of timing problems with the venue but we wanted to. It is so much easier and my FI has been with me through the whole bridal thing so he will see the dress beforehand anyway.

 

[CrownJewel]

It''s just an old tradition that a lot of couples are doing away with. We are going to have our portraits and group shots beforehand so that we can enjoy the cocktail hour with our guests.

However, I am going to ask our photographers to try and capture that "first look." It''s going to be a little insane for us, since our ceremony starts at 11:30AM. Talk about frenzy! I think we''ll "pre-enact" the walk down the aisle or something just to try to get that element of surprise.

 

[chicagolawyer]

We''re taking pictures before the ceremony as well, for the same reasons that others have mentioned.

Two questions for those who have done it/plan to:

1) What is your timeline to ceremony? Do you walk into the ceremony together, or separate thirty minutes before or something?

2) How do you keep your makeup super fresh for the ceremony? We''re getting married in August, and I sweat when I''m nervous which I''m sure I will be on my wedding day. (sorry if TMI!)

 

[KimberlyH]

We took photos before the ceremony and I''m so glad we did (even w/o a bridal party we would have missed our entire cocktail hour had we waited). It allowed us to enjoy every minute of our reception. We also hung out at the ceremony site and visited with guests before the ceremony, so we really didn''t follow a lot of traditions. I wouldn''t have had it any other way.

 

[Gypsy]

We''re doing pics before. Aside from all the practical aspects, we''re really private people in terms of our emotions and we really like the fact that the first time we see each other all gussied up for the wedding it will be just the two of us (and the photographer...lol) so that we have some time to talk and just be US before all the crazy begins.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Wow I guess I am the only one here that doesn''t want to do it! I really, really, want the first time he sees me in my dress to be when I come down the aisle. I am being vigilant to keep him from even seeing the dress. Guess I am more traditional than I thought. Haha. But I could totally understand not waiting because of timing issues.

 

[Pandora II]

I''m not seeing FI before either.

But then, I''m the girl who has told the photographer that I only really want 30 great pictures rather than 200+.

I have banned all family shots except us with parents - my sister''s wedding it went on and on and on, I wanted to talk to people and kept getting hoiked off to do ''all the grandchildren'' shots - my cousin is getting married 2 months before me, so they can do those ones then!

I plan to enjoy my wedding and not spend hours lining people up for photos that no-one really looks at anyway!

 

[mimzy]

FI and i won''t see each other before the ceremony, but we will do pictures beforehand with everyone besides each other - family, bridal party, etc. that way after the ceremony there will be like five pictures to take with us and the BP/family, and then we will have an hour to spend just the two of us with the photographer. the compromise works for us.

 

[musey]

Date: 2/19/2008 6:15:42 PM
Author:IWantAMilkshake
People do this? Is this not against the whole bride/groom not seeing each other thing, or are they photos that can be done separately, or what?

Yep, but there are lots of other "not before the wedding ceremony" rules that I've broken

so I figure we can buck that tradition, too

Our photographer suggested that if we don't want to see each other before the ceremony, we should still consider doing all the other pictures beforehand (bridal party, family shots, etc.). Not only because it saves time after, but also because everyone's makeup is more likely to be intact before the ceremony.


I don't mind if FI sees me in my dress before my aisle-walk. He's actually already seen pictures of me in my dress

I can understand women wanting to get that "look" from their husband-to-be right before heading down the aisle, though!

 

[IWantAMilkshake]

Date: 2/19/2008 9:34:02 PM
Author: musey

Date: 2/19/2008 6:15:42 PM
Author:IWantAMilkshake
People do this? Is this not against the whole bride/groom not seeing each other thing, or are they photos that can be done separately, or what?

Yep, but there are lots of other ''not before the wedding ceremony'' rules that I''ve broken

so I figure we can buck that tradition, too

Our photographer suggested that if we don''t want to see each other before the ceremony, we should still consider doing all the other pictures beforehand (bridal party, family shots, etc.). Not only because it saves time after, but also because everyone''s makeup is more likely to be intact before the ceremony.


I don''t mind if FI sees me in my dress before my aisle-walk. He''s actually already seen pictures of me in my dress

I can understand women wanting to get that ''look'' from their husband-to-be right before heading down the aisle, though!

I don''t want that "look", but FI insists on it. He says it''s the part of the wedding he looks forward to the most. I guess I should be thankful that THAT''S what he looks forward to most and not the cake or the open bar.

It makes sense to do all the other photos though.

 

[Amandine]

We are doing this for a couple reasons:

1. I lost my only sister (and sibling) to cystic fibrosis four years ago, just four months after her wedding. Ever since, I have had a really difficult time at weddings, and knowing that she won''t be standing next to me as my matron of honor is really, really hard.

I know I will cry during my ceremony, or sometime near then, and I want my pictures to be before the big emotional moments.
2. I, too, hate keeping my guests waiting. Even though our ceremony and reception are at the same place, I just want to spend as much time with everyone as possible. Besides, we have to be cleaned up and out at 10pm, so its a little shorter then we originally wanted anyway.

So, we are going to do the "see each other for the first time" bit in the bride''s room at our venue. Still get the special moment, and better yet, we get it to ourselves. Private (well, us and the photograper!).

 

[Courtneylub]

We are taking our pics before the ceremony as well. Wow..I had no idea that was becoming so popular.

I agree...I don''t to keep my guests waiting too long and I don''t want to miss a big chunk of the party!

We are going to take a couple of candids where I''m tapping him on the shoulder with my bouquet and then of his expression when he turns around and sees me for the first time. I know I will see the same expression on his face when I''m walking down the aisle.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I think that if it''s important to your FI not to see you beforehand, then you should let him have that. I wasn''t opposed to taking a few pics beforehand (I was more opposed to "staged" pictures than seeing each other before the ceremony), but it was something that meant a lot to DH. He didn''t want to know ANYTHING about my dress, he didn''t even want to see the box when it was delivered for fear that it would give something away. Because it was important to him, I wanted to respect that and honestly one of my favorite parts of the day was the anticipation of seeing him standing at the end of the aisle (I hadn''t seen him either--in fact, I didn''t know what he was wearing himself, haha).

 

[sunnygirl]

Hmmm I am torn on this one....I love the idea of seeing each other for the first time during walk down aisle but I also want to party with guests at the reception! And I wouldnt mind my makeup being fresh and pre-tears! I will ask him and see if he has a preference. our ceremony will start at around 3 and finish around 4 (looong) so I dont know what time pics would be beforehand. Isnt the light better for pics the further away it is from noon?

 

[sunnygirl]

Also something to think about for us...it might be easier to get that "first look" picture somewhere that isnt the church?

 

[musey]

Date: 2/19/2008 9:47:15 PM
Author: IWantAMilkshake

Date: 2/19/2008 9:34:02 PM
Author: musey

I don't mind if FI sees me in my dress before my aisle-walk. He's actually already seen pictures of me in my dress

I can understand women wanting to get that 'look' from their husband-to-be right before heading down the aisle, though!

I don't want that 'look', but FI insists on it. He says it's the part of the wedding he looks forward to the most. I guess I should be thankful that THAT'S what he looks forward to most and not the cake or the open bar.

It makes sense to do all the other photos though.

Well then, there ya go! Were you looking to be convinced otherwise? Or just genuine curiosity?

I asked my FI if he wanted to be "surprised" by the dress/etc., his response was "Should I want to be surprised? Am I supposed to want to not see it? You can show it to me if you want to..." haha

 

[musey]

Date: 2/19/2008 11:24:49 PM
Author: sunnygirl
Also something to think about for us...it might be easier to get that ''first look'' picture somewhere that isnt the church?

That''s another thing our photographer mentioned... that most women want a "first look" picture of their husband-to-be, but that that''s REALLY hard to get (especially from a good angle!) during the ceremony.

He still gets a "first look," it''s just not in front of all the guests. I like that, but not all people would

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Date: 2/20/2008 1:06:11 AM
Author: musey

Date: 2/19/2008 11:24:49 PM

Author: sunnygirl

Also something to think about for us...it might be easier to get that ''first look'' picture somewhere that isnt the church?

That''s another thing our photographer mentioned... that most women want a ''first look'' picture of their husband-to-be, but that that''s REALLY hard to get (especially from a good angle!) during the ceremony.


He still gets a ''first look,'' it''s just not in front of all the guests. I like that, but not all people would

That''s definitely a good point!

 

[Gwyn]

Date: 2/19/2008 6:21:51 PM
Author: karasue91
yep. we are doing pictures before the ceremony, and we are doing them together. to me, the whole not seeing each other before the ceremony is a little silly, and since our ceremony isn't until 4pm it's really just about logistics. plus i hate weddings where you have to wait around for the bridal party to get back from taking pictures. our ceremony and reception are at the same place so it's not like there is time when they will be driving between the two locations. also i want fabulous pictures so i don't want them to be rushed, and I want to go to a couple different locales! so we are doing pictures together and with the bridal party before the ceremony, then family pictures during the cocktail hour at the park that is walking distance from our ceremony/reception site.

i also like the idea of seeing each other before the ceremony so we aren't such blubbering messes during it!! i'm sure there will be some crying when we say our vows (we are writing our own), but i'd rather minimize it by taking that first look at each other in private - hugging, kissing, crying, whatever - and then be nice and composed and relaxed for pictures and ceremony.

Ditto to all that. we are doing the same. To still get "that look" affect alot of people have the photographer record (take photos) of the first time you see each other. that way you have the "first look" captured on film and such. It is just more private then when you are coming down the aisle.

 

[violet02]

I was hoping to do the main bridal party photos afterwards, but I see the value in fresh makeup and timing as well. I was hoping for that first look going down the aisle feeling. Particularly since he hasn''t seen my dress etc. I''m curious though how do you do wedding photos before the wedding? Do you do it WAY before the guests arrive? Our wedding it outdoors on a lawn so that''s probably where we''ll do a lot of the photos. After the ceremony we''ll probably hike down to the beach (since thats most likely the best time to mess up my dress) and take some photos there.

 

[Selkie]

Our wedding was at a B&B, so we arranged to have a pre-ceremony "cocktail hour" there (except there were no cocktails), and invited anyone who wanted to come. We pre-arranged to have many of the couple and family photos taken during this time. At the start of the hour, I walked down the stairs into the foyer to meet my DH at the bottom, for that "first look" shot. The photog positioned herself so she could pan between us, and it worked out marvelously. We got all the tears and private stuff out of the way before we had a big audience. Then we went outside and she started shooting the posed shots. As we were having those photos taken most of the guests were arriving. It was perfect for our situation and style, which I would say is pretty casual and non-traditional.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

We took some photos together for the ceremony. I really loved it b/c we got to have a private moment and get out all the emotions so I was calm during the ceremony (I was so worried I would cry through the whole thing) are photographers documented it so it was wonderful. Besides our aisle was SOOOOO long I wouldn''t have been able to see his reaction when he saw me for the first time so this worked out perfectly for us.

 

[Stephanie]

Date: 2/20/2008 12:54:49 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
We took some photos together for the ceremony. I really loved it b/c we got to have a private moment and get out all the emotions so I was calm during the ceremony (I was so worried I would cry through the whole thing) are photographers documented it so it was wonderful. Besides our aisle was SOOOOO long I wouldn''t have been able to see his reaction when he saw me for the first time so this worked out perfectly for us.

This is the main reason that we are having pictures taken before. I would be a basket case if I couldn''t see him before we got married. Also, the time issue is huge. A five thirty or six o''clock wedding, outside - you can''t have pictures after the ceremony.

 

[partyjewels]

Long story short, we are most definitely going to see each other before the ceremony, and if time allows I want to do as many pictures as possible before hand. This is not something I am willing to budge on. I had and still have absolutely NO desire to get married (which is such a private, intimate act to me) in front of a large audience. But he had his heart set on it, so I finally gave in. But theres no way in heck that I'm going to walk down that aisle without seeing him in private first!!! lol

I suppose that makes me sound awful after reading it back, but really i promise I'm not, just terrible shy and private about things like that!!

Just to let you in on I operate, for me, getting married in front of all these people is going to be as bad as if we had an audience when we start TTC! Yep, that bad. I can't help the way I feel

ETA: See, I'm hoping that seeing him before hand will help calm me down so I'm not crying through the whole ceremony! So I'm glad that has worked for people Also the timing thing, we have to be out by a certain time since there is a Saturday night mass. But we want to start the ceremony as late as possible because we don't want to have to start the reception too early.

 

[HollyS]

Date: 2/19/2008 6:15:42 PM
Author:IWantAMilkshake
People do this? Is this not against the whole bride/groom not seeing each other thing, or are they photos that can be done separately, or what?

Yes, yes, and YES!! Hands down, the best pictures of our wedding were the ''before'' shots taken privately with each other. The photographer has time to compose great pictures, the emotion is evident in the photos between B&G, etc. For us, it really captured what we were feeling, before anyone/anything could intrude. Our photographer did her best ''photoshopping'' on us here, too . . . probably because of the many closeups. THESE are the pictures worthy of hanging as portraits.