The Official TTC for 6 Months or More Thread

[missrachelk]

Congrats to the recent grads! Fisher - Curly and Pave!!!

You'll be counting down the weeks before you know it, friends, it really does fly by!

 

[BrightSpot]

Bella, I'm glad you have an appointment with a RE on the books. It sounds like you're doing all the right things. You might want to put together a list of questions before your appointment too.

Tammy, I'm glad your body finally listened & o'd! Big hugs to you. It sometimes feels like every decision in this process is monumental, doesn't it? I think you're on the right track, though, & the removal of the endo could be really helpful. Can you call the RE to get an appointment on the books in case there's a wait, and take care of the referral in the meantime? I'm glad your dh has been so supportive. Also, keep in mind that you haven't had any intervention yet. There are lots of things you can try & many aren't invasive at all. I keep thinking that you'll be KU on your first round of clomid.

Curly & jgator, thanks!

Drk, thanks for your feedback on ivf & choosing a clinic. I was very impressed with the new RE, the office is nice, the staff seems very competent & all are much more reachable than my old office. Also I think the scheduling will be easier for me (the times will be more convenient I think plus the appointments seem to run on time, as opposed to 45 minutes late!) I'm just not sure about the stat issue.
I'm sorry you & your dh aren't on the same page about undergoing another ivf. That must be so difficult. Hugs to you.

Ltl, keeping my fingers tightly crossed for you!

Afm, well I followed up with my previous RE's office about ivf cost & apparently there were additional charges that weren't on the cost sheet they gave me. It turns out the new RE is cheaper than the old RE. So, while I guess I can't negotiate cost now, I do feel less guilty about going with the new RE. The only thing that gives me a bit if pause with the new clinic is that they don't report their stats to SART. Is this a deal breaker if I like everything else about the office?

Also, it's cd22 today & I've had a positive OPK for the past 2 days (negative today). I'm not that optimistic about conceiving naturally anymore but wouldn't it be nice to be able to avoid ivf?

 

[Dreamer_D]

drk-huge, huge hugs! I understand re the DH not being on the same page regarding pursuing another child (especially when specific and definitive steps need to be taken to pursue having another child).

DH and I are currently at an impasse regarding starting another adoption and it is one of the most difficult/frustrating places to be. I think the thing that makes it so frustrating is that it doesn't seem like a 50-50 compromise, it's one of those decisions that is all or nothing and so one person's feelings (usually the person who is saying "no") matter more than the other person's.

I feel strongly as well that I want our child to have siblings and that I don't want a huge gap between them and, in terms of adoption, that it seems crazy to me to not adopt again when there are so many children (especially boys over the age of 2) who need families and we want more children...in our case, DH wants more children and really wants to try getting pregnant (well, me getting pregnant and he is becoming more and more certain that as much as he loves our son he doesn't want to go through another adoption process/the initial year+ of bonding, etc.

Bella I wonder, is your husband romanticisins biological kids a little compared to adopted? I think its easy to do when you have had one expeirence but not another, the unexperiences path, when desired, seems much easier than the travelled path. Even in the case of biological kids the first year is... well, challenging and full of stress and frustration, and bonding for fathers in particular can take awhile. I guess I would say its qualitatively different, but not quantitatively maybe (though I obvisouly have not adopted). Just adding this as another potential point of discussion for you to perhaps use to help maybe open his mind up a little to adoption. Anyways, hugs. I think you are right the person saying "no" usually wins in these types of conversations in marriage and it plain old sucks.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

Hey Tammy - I am sorry your insurance is so complicated. I am going through something similar. I private payed for this cycle, and working on a new referral. It looks like I may be changing doctors. I am hoping you can get in soon.

Bright - I still try on my "non medical months" and check OPKs. There is still a small chance you might conceive on your own. I just found out someone is pregnant and in her second trimester, she is excited as she has had 6 early miscarriages in a row. IVF does not sound like fun, but look at how many people have had luck with it.

Bella - It must be hard that your husband and you don't see eye to eye. Do you and your husband have an agreement onto how far you will go before pursuing other options? My personal line is 2-3 cycles of IVF and than I don't want to do anymore to my body. Or maybe you can talking about trying for a certain amount of time and than discussing adoption? I think with this infertility stuff you have to know how far you are willing to go before you get into it.

AFM - My IUI went well. It was quick and easy. The office has thin walls so I could here the doc through the door reviewing my numbers and DH's counts and he seemed really excited. The only thing is I had some bloating and spotting that evening. But I have been good the last 2 days. He told me act like I was pregnant, meaning don't stop my life, but don't do anything you would not do pregnant. He specifically mentioned alcohol. He had never really brought it up before, so I thought that was interesting. My serum HCG is next Thrusday. If this is negative, I probably will not try again with medical intervention until after the holidays. My husband has a trip next month during the window, and than I am traveling in November, and than it is the holidays. I am glad to be off the injections. Bright, you were right, my headaches went away the day after I stopped them.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

thanks DD! that is exactly our current point of conversation.

Personally, as much as I would also like to also welcome a child into our family through being pregnant, I am terrified of juggling work with health issues during pregnancy, recovering from delivery, the total lack of sleep for the first 3-6+ months, etc.

I have to work full-time (DH is in school) so although every child is different and bonding can be very challenging, adoption is way less intimidating to me right now, plus I would love for B to have a sibling who is 2-4 years younger than him, and to have a sibling who also shares the experience of joining our family through adoption (which I recognize could be a VERY different experience for each child) and the only way that will happen is if we adopt.

So, we'll see...

but yeah, big marriage decisions that sway to the person who says "no" are hard! (especially if I am not the one saying "no" )

Ltf- I hope that this IUI works!!!! DH and I are definitely not pursuing IVF (clearly, my body has enough issues plus we can't afford it and I would strongly prefer to adopt). We're not sure if we would pursue IUI, for the same reasons above. So really, I want to get my body figured out with the awful bleeding, really TTC in earnest for a few months (with accupuncture and possibly some other monitoring of hormone levels, ultrasound, etc. to confirm that I am ovulating), and maybe IUI, but we're not sure on that.

But adoption and pregnancy are definitely not mutually exclusive. He's one of 6 kids and I am one of 3 and we both love having larger families. We would really like 4 kids and are both possibly open to more....so I'm like, um...DH we are 34 and 36, we've tried for 2 years, the odds of us having 3 kids through pregnancy...not very good.

 

[tammy77]

Good morning ladies!

Oh happy Friday! It's been a long week, haha.

Bright, I'm glad you got to the bottom of the finance stuff. Imagine going with the first clinic and being blindsided by extra charges! Bah. Do you feel comfortable asking why your new group doesn't publish? Maybe they can ease your concerns?

Bella, that sounds rough I hope that your RE appt at least solves the bleeding issue and maybe can open up a new perspective for your DH re: how difficult the medical side is, even if you were to conceive. Besides, just because you adopt, doesn't mean you have to stop ttc!

Ltl I'm so hoping and praying that your first iui is the winner!! Good luck and please keep us posted! So very exciting. I'm sorry that insurance woes got you too. The latest for mine is they accidentally switched me as of 2 wks before my surgery, and are going to call me back in "2-3 business days" to tell me if they're going to honor my surgery bill. Huh?! Yes, they will. If not, they'll mean not so nice tammy and her attorney if they don't!

Have I missed anyone? Is it really down to only four of us?! Time to clear this place out, IMO.

I guess it's time for my afm. Sigh, I hate admitting I am wrong. So, I actually didn't ovulate and I'm on day 8 (!!!!) of Ewcm. Girls, I'm tired! In all seriousness, it is a little draining not knowing when it's coming. Usually I get 2-3 days and that's about it. Maybe 4. I have gone back to temping so when it eventually gets here I'll be able to track my LP. I guess the silver lining is its more time for that egg to get bigger, and buys me a little time to settle the referral issues.

That's about it! Hope everyone has a great day!

 

[pavelover]

Hi Tammy. Sounds like you are all healed up? Isn't it good to have many days of ewcm? Maybe it's a good sign. I hope you get good results from your surgery.

I can't get to everyone right now as I have to put my little guy to bed. Im still here reading along and following everyone's stories. I think I haven't been to excited to post for fear of jinxing things.

Be back soon to properly say hi to everyone.

 

[tammy77]

Hi Pave!

Feel free to pop in anytime. When is your next appt/us? I'll be thinking of you.

AFM: Okay I feel fairly confident that I did ovulate, woohoo! Had a positive opk yesterday that I took on a whim because it was my last one, even though my temp was up yesterday. I wonder if I popped out two eggs this month because of the lap?! I have no idea, but I had a grand total of 9 days of EWCM, ridiculous! Thankfully, it looks like we covered our bases pretty well so as long as tomorrow's temp is up, I'm in my first post lap TWW.

Had an interesting but difficult conversation with my very mature 9 year old about babies. Out of the blue (she has no idea we're ttc) she started talking about wanting to work with endangered species when she grows up. We talked about what she could do with them and somehow the topic came around to helping them repopulate. This turned to medical assistance and she popped out "did you know that some people, even though they really want to have a baby they can't?" I felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach and swallowed my tongue. I had NO idea what to say to her. Finally after a bit of thinking I said something along the lines of how I did know about those situations, that they're very difficult and how lucky B (my husband) and I are to have her and her sister. All of this was when I was on the way to drop them off at their bio father's house for one of his 3 nights a month with them. I didn't want to let them go, especially after that. The house is so quiet when they're not around.

Anyhow, sorry for bringing them up, I hope it doesn't offend anyone. I know I should be thankful for the babies I have had, and I am. I just wish that I'd been able to have them with my DH instead of with my ex - I hope that makes sense. I also am at that stage where I see them growing up and my mind fast forwards 8 - 9 yrs when they head off to college and I hyperventilate a bit.

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Firecracker,

Whoop! Go baby, go! hoping it works out good!

We had another ultrasound yesterday. Baby is measuring ahead, so it looks like the betas were right. We are 10 weeks today and the kiddo's hb is 185! Soooo excited and proud of this baby! He or she even squirmed for us. Soooo cute!

Thank you all for the support & prayers & thoughts, for all this long time. I wish you all he best. You're all in my prayers. Walk in faith!

 

[pavelover]

Hi Fisher! That's great news! how are you feeling? It sounds like we will only be a couple of weeks apart. Will you move over to the jbp thread soon? I haven't yet. It's really been a pleasure to read your posts here. Your faith is really inspiring and a good reminder to me. Thank you for that.

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Pave,

I will jump if you will, too. I only peeked in once; they all seem to be so far beyond my one inch baby. But hey- an inch is big stuff! The baby grew 4x it's size in 2 weeks!

I am more in wonder than anything.... it is amazing how this little person can make a grown woman so tired, so pukey, and so proud and thankful. I'm just in awe.

How bout you? Wanna jump?

 

[pavelover]

Yay! Ok let's do it! I'm glad you are feeling bad- haha that sounds just terrible. You know what I mean- I always here symptoms are a good sign. Had a horrible headache the other day and a friend who's also expecting said "that's great" lol. It's true though.
Ok let's take the plunge. I have to warn you though it may take me a while to feel comfortable posting many updates. I'm pretty nervous.

 

[tammy77]

Popping in to say I'm thinking of you bright. You am I are usually around the same and my cycle would have been due soon if my lap hadnt delayed my o by a week. Hope you're hanging in there okay and that your RE journey is working out the kinks. Can't wait for your ivf and subsequent bfp healthy sticky bean! *big hugs*

 

[Sha]

Firecracker,

Whoop! Go baby, go! hoping it works out good!

We had another ultrasound yesterday. Baby is measuring ahead, so it looks like the betas were right. We are 10 weeks today and the kiddo's hb is 185! Soooo excited and proud of this baby! He or she even squirmed for us. Soooo cute!

Thank you all for the support & prayers & thoughts, for all this long time. I wish you all he best. You're all in my prayers. Walk in faith!

How exciting, fisher!! yayyyyy!!!!

to everyone else, and hope all is going as well as it can be. I'm just chilling and lurking mostly for now.

 

[CurlySue]

Hi, ladies! Just checking in to say hello.

Firecracker - I think you are doing your serum hCG today, right? Good luck!! I have my fingers and toes crossed for you.

 

[tammy77]

Oh wow, good luck Ltl, keep us posted!

 

[BrightSpot]

tammy, thanks for thinking about me & for the hugs! You're right, my current cycle is drawing to a close (CD8 or 9 today). I've been really trying not to think about TTC too much this time around as I don't think the odds are good we'll actually conceive naturally. Just trying to be less obsessive.
That's amazing that you had 9 days of EWCM! I wonder if you did, in fact, o more than 1 egg. My fingers are crossed that this lap was all you needed to get things back in line.
I'm sorry about the difficult conversation you had with your daughter. I think you handled it well. Hopefully you'll have to have a conversation of a totally different nature with your girls in the next few months.

LTL, crossing fingers & toes that you get a great serum hcg result! How are you feeling? I'm glad your headaches went away after you stopped the injections. I'm glad your IUI went smoothly. Did you have any other symptoms after the IUI?
That's amazing about your friend's pregnancy. That must be such a relief to make it past the first trimester after so many early miscarriages.

Bella, I hope you're doing well & you & your DH get on the same page soon. I can see how adoption would be less scary to you now than pregnancy since you've just been through an adoption & know the ropes. I think you're taking all of the right steps to get healthy & figure out what's going on with your cycles. One thing at a time, right? (Also, I've heard lots of stories of ladies trying for years, finally adopting, then getting KU out of the blue, so you never know... )

Pave, I'm glad things are still going well. I totally understand your fear of jinxing it, though.

Fisher, I'm glad things are progressing well & I think the symptoms are probably a good sign. (Though sorry you're feeling icky!)

Curly, good to see you! I hope you're doing well & baking away.

Continued dust to all of our recent grads!

afm, sorry it's been a while since I posted. I've been reading along, but have tried to distance myself from TTC stuff a bit lately. I just realized that my 50 pack of Wondfo pregnancy tests is almost exhausted, which was pretty depressing. I really hate the thought of having to order another, so I'm going to try to hold off on testing this month. Also, we're in a bit of a holding pattern on the IVF. We were hoping to move forward in November after a work-related thing comes through (and hopefully puts the money in our hands to move forward), but now that might be up in the air. I hope it comes through so we can move forward as scheduled.

In the meantime, I'm toying with the idea of doing another IUI. My new doc has suggested we could do another injectable IUI but start with a lupron phase before the stimulation part to make the ovaries dormant so it will reduce the exposure to androgens (a pcos problem) for a while, which could help with egg quality. On one hand, this is covered by our insurance (IVF is not), so there would be very little out of pocket cost. However, I had a lot of side effects on injections last time & I'm really hesitant to subject my body to that again if we're not increasing our pregnancy odds significantly through IVF. Also, I'm pretty scared of another miscarriage & I'm hoping that the pgd with IVF would decrease that risk (nothing in IUI would do that.) So that's the current debate.

Anyway, I think of all of you often & hope we can clear out the remaining 4 (!) of us on this thread soon!

 

[LtlFirecracker]

Well, I am not sure who is going to be more annoyed, you or me. I had the wrong day for the HCG....and yeah it is a mess...

It is tomorrow, but tomorrow is Friday. I could not get the time off work so I am having it drawn at my clinic which sends it out. So it may not be back until after the weekend .

So I begged and pleaded with the lab yesterday. The script says "stat." They of course told me there is no such thing as a Stat HCG at our clinic (which I know), but that they would batch it separately and ship it out tomorrow morning.

Lets see if they say the same thing tomorrow morning...if not than I won't find out until Monday. The RE clinic closes at noon, so I will know all weekend and they will not, that will be interesting.

I bought some HPTs tonight just in case it does not get sent...

Bright, sounds like you have a tough decision. If insurance covers it, it may be worth trying one more time. But I know those meds were rough for you, but wouldn't you have to be on higher doses for IVF? If IVF has a lower rate of spontaneous loss, than that may be the deal breaker. Your experiences of that just sound miserable. I would ask you RE what he thought about the difference between the two procedures in that regard. AFM, After the injectables I just had the side effects of the HCG (sore breasts ect) and those went away. I am having most of my normal LP symptoms, you know the fun stuff, acne and the sore breasts are back. Food kind of tasted a little different today, and I am not as fatigued as I normally am during my LP. Trying not to read any signs of my body too seriously. I have been fooled before.

Fisher - so excited for you!

To everyone else, hi. There are really only 4 of us left? TTC looks kind of dormant too.

 

[fisherofmengirly]

There are only 4 who post, maybe, but I'm sure there are others who follow who've been through the looonnng wait, too. To only have a few posters left is good, though. Come on, let's clear out!

I've honestly purposely not learned too much about ART (the depths of all that, but I can appreciate the stress of it (getting the meds on time, effects of the meds, the stress it can put on a body, a relationship).... my heart goes out to you. My prayers, too. Faith is a mighty big thing- it can move mountains.

Does anyone know where HOU is? I assume she's left the forum, but I *think* I remember she had a healthy pregnancy. Am I right? She's been on my mind because she added so much to the thread for a while at the start of it.

 

[tammy77]

Ltl, I haven't said this in a long while, but I used to often....POAS! I'm wishing and hoping and praying for you. Can't wait to hear from you!

 

[monkeyprincess]

Ltl, I haven't said this in a long while, but I used to often....POAS! I'm wishing and hoping and praying for you. Can't wait to hear from you!

I couldn't agree more! (Although I do admire your patience, something I'm very lacking in). Good luck Firecracker! I'm really pulling for you!

Bright, sending good thoughts your way. Your ambivalence about going forward with another IUI is completely understandable after everything you've been through. I hope you are able to move forward with your IVF (if that's what you decide to do) in November. I have such high hopes for you that with a healthy egg (and embryo), you will finally be on your way to becoming a mommy! Hugs.

Tammy, hope you are hanging in there. Sounds like you have a very bright, compassionate little girl. That must have been such a tough conversation for you. I'll bet she'll be so excited when you can finally tell her she is going to be a big sister again! I'll be thinking of you as you navigate the process of determining which treatment plan is right for you (assuming that's even necessary!)

And Bella, thinking of you as well. It must be doubly frustrating to be getting resistance from your DH on the adoption issue and to have no idea what is going on with your cycle. You are a strong woman! I just now that you and your DH will be adding more kiddos to your family one way or another. Hope your little guy is doing well!

 

[tammy77]

I'm too embarrassed to admit how many times I've refreshed this page in hopes of an update from Ltl. Thinking of you!

I'll be back soon for a proper catch up!

 

[LtlFirecracker]

No need to keep checking.

It is not good news

I started spotting this afternoon and had a bad feeling. I am only 10DPO so I know it could be implantation bleeding, but still I had a bad feeling.

Than as I was walking out the door from work, I decided to check the lab one more time (it was "in shipping all day"). The HCG was 0.7. I am starting to get my PMS headaches now.

So I guess no need to POAS unless I magically stop spotting and AF does not come. Not counting on it.

Thanks everyone for checking on me.

 

[BrightSpot]

Oh, ltl, I'm so sorry. Big hugs to you. This just doesn't get any easier, does it? How long is your LP usually?
I'm thinking of you & hope you can do something nice for yourself this weekend.

Hi to everyone else. I'll be back with a proper check in later.

 

[tammy77]

I'm so sorry Ltl big hugs to you. Please take care and know we're here for you.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

Thanks Bright an Tammy, I really appreciate yours and everyone else's concern.

No it does not get easier, but I did not take it has hard as last time. Tammy, this was a short LP for me being on medication. The last few medicated cycles I typically have at 12 days before spotting. My progesterone was "normal" for the LP but only about 2.5 I think. In the past it has been higher. I read the fine print on the lab test, and it states it is accurate 7 days after fertilization, so I am not holding out hope for a "late implantation."

The doctor does not know yet. I have a follow up lab scheduled mid Monday morning, I am just going to call early Monday, see if they got the fax and cancel the appointment.

In terms of trying with medical help, this is probably it for me until January. I can't try next month because the time off I needed in September hurt our clinic's numbers in terms of patient care, and I need to give at leas a good solid month to show I am worth being there. In late November I am going to Europe with my husband and in laws. I tried to use the trip as a something to look forward too if this does not work out. I have about 2 shopping bags worth of clothes with tags I am going to cut off this weekend, and I am going shopping for some boots now for the trip. Half of the trip is wine tasting in France, so at least I will be able to enjoy that.

So it looks like I will be in this situation a little longer. I may not post on myself, but I will be checking in on you guys to see how you are doing. I want at least one of us to be successful!

 

[Laila619]

Oh darn, LtlFirecracker. I've been rooting so hard for you to get your BFP. I'm so so sorry.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

I'm so sorry Ltfirecracker!!!! It is so hard every month hoping and being disappointed. At least for me, it's like no matter how much you try to guard your heart, that glimmer of hope is still there (and you want it to be there b/c that's part of what keeps you going during this process), but then when you aren't pregnant that month, you feel the grief and disappointment all over again each month. (((((((((((((((((((((Huge Hugs)))))))))))))))))))

AFM-I had accupuncture again today. can not say enough how much I love it! This was the last session in the multi-pack we got and there isn't much $ left in our FSA, we just learned of some extra charges from my surgery this summer , and I'm sure there will be some extra charges with the RE next month, so financially this isn't the best time to get another multi-pack, but I think that we're going to do it anyway b/c just this brief little session every two weeks feels like part of what is keeping me sane and I really think that my body responds way better to this than to conventional meds when it comes to my endocrine system/hormones, etc. So, I am going to crunch the numbers tonight and see what we can make happen...

It seems like my body might be gearing up to ovulate which would be amazing! So, hoping that at least that happens and I can have a normal cycle...I guess that is step 1.

DH and I had a rough week (including the night he chose to watch the presidential debate and study for an exam rather than celebrate our anniversary in anyway ) but he pretty much redeemed himself this morning when I asked why a note I had written a few weeks ago with all the reasons I wanted to adopt again was on his side of the bed and he said that he's sleeping with it under his pillow, reading it everyday, and praying about it b/c he knows how important it is to me and he would like to too, he just doesn't feel ready yet, so he wants to make sure he keeps thinking about it

 

[pavelover]

Bella your post just made me tear up. That is the sweetest thing I have ever heard about your husband, and good news! So glad that you are liking accupuncture. I know it's kind of awkward but do you feel like you can ask for a discount at the accupuncture office? Sometimes they have sliding scales? I know you live in NYC right so maybe not but I was thinking it might be worth a shot? Or alternatively are you near a school where they may have cheaper rates? Hope your body responds the way you want this month! Are you still on that tea/herbs?

Ltl I'm so sorry about your test results. I'm glad that you feel you handled it better this month but of course it still sucks. It's so crazy that ttc causes so much stress and then we have all the other stressors of life- changing jobs etc for you that don't make it easy. I hope somehow this month at work flies by and then you have a FABULOUS time in Europe! It really sounds like a wonderful trip and I'm glad you have something to focus on. Still sending big hugs through the cyberwaves. Hope there's a way you can pamper yourself at this time even for a little bit. Somehow I like January for starting again as the new year has so much promise, you know what I mean?

Bright Hi! Thanks for the understanding about the posts or lack thereof. I hope you can come to a decision your happy with re: doing another iui or not. It's really so hard after loss to not have that fear- especially I would imagine for multiple losses together. Also the way your body feels on the medicine is a significant factor. It was my major concern about IVF but somehow for me I did fine with them. Perhaps for the IUI you could tell the doc about the side effects and see if he knows of one version of drug with less impact in that way? I don't know, just an idea.

AFM I will be reading along with you guys and supporting but I moved over to the JBP thread. I realized from something another poster said that maybe I shouldn't be posting stuff here and hope that I haven't been insensitive in talking about my situation here. Like Fisher said I sincerely hope the remainder of everyone's stay here is quite short. In the meantime you all will continue to be in my thoughts and I look forward to reading good news for all of us.

 

[Bliss]

Just popping in to cheer our amazing ladies on!

Bella, so glad you love acupuncture and that your body is responding so well. Your B is so gorgeous...what an amazing mama you are. Just had to say that your story about your DH made me say, "Awwwwww!" That is incredibly sweet, romantic and beautiful. What a good man you have! Well, two men now - one little man and your DH! Sleeping with your heartfelt note under his pillow? So sweet.

Ltfirecracker, sending PS dust your way for healing vibes and strength. PS dust to all mamas and mamas-to-be!