The Official TTC Thread!

[lovelylulu]

welcome icekid

i''m so glad that you''ve made the decision to go ahead and TTC.

swimmer and melanie and festy - i am rooting for all of you this cycle. so hard. come on positives.

cara - you are in my thoughts as well!

fisher - thanks for thinking of me

so far, your chart looks lovely. i never consistently temped, but i do chart to keep track of ovulation and spotting. they turn out to be very uninteresting charts to look at . . .

***************************************************
I didn''t post for a little while because I wanted to collect my thoughts.

at the end of last week, it was obvious that this was going to be another failed cycle. vacillating between hopefulness and disappointment each month, month after month is hard. it is so easy to get discouraged. everytime AF comes along, it''s a "dam*it moment" for sure. but this negative felt truly overwhelming. Partly, because I think that for the first time, I realized that this isn''t going to happen. at least, not the way that I had thought. but, more so because I felt so lost. how can i make the decisions i''m facing when i don''t have the information much less the answers? blasted unexplained infertility.


over the weekend, my dh and i discussed our options. while they are far from ideal, we''ve made the decision to move forward with a clomid/iui. the monitoring that is done during an iui is was the deciding factor. we are starting to feel more and more like there is a potential implantation issue. ultrasounds will confirm that i actually ovulate and will also be able to provide information about the "state" of my uterine lining. My health insurance doesn''t cover this. My doctor explained that since we''re paying for all of these monitoring costs already, it might make sense to just go ahead and add the "insemination" part. the logic makes sense to us.

I just called and made the appointment. i have a bloodwork and ultrasound scheduled for this thursday.

I feel hopeful that despite whether the iui portion works or not, at least we may have more answers than we do now. and who knows, maybe we''ll get lucky? it would be about time for it to change

 

[melz]

oh lulu so hard. i''m sorry you''ve had such a yucky week. and you have to pay for everything? that sucks, it really does. iui should certainly improve your odds. by like a 1000 fold i think.

 

[swimmer]

Lulu, thank you. It means so much to have pals with which to journey along this path.
I''m so sorry this whole process has just been a bunch of question marks for you.

Here is one more: Since you know that your lining is an issue, (and you are paying so no need to experiment) can you discuss with your RE or MD the options of gonal-f or femara or something that is less likely to thin your already thin lining? I am only putting it out there because last cycle (well, really all the clomid cycles) I was so eager and waiting and then the reality was that my lining was only 3mm b/c of the clomid and it should be more like 10mm you know. So I was all excited but the odds were that nothing was going to take. The monitoring revealed that, but for some reason one of the REs wanted me to keep trying clomid but with the progesterone inserts like you are using. It got up to a whopping 6mm with the inserts. Now doing gonal-f (12.5mm), plus inserts post iui it went up even more. I know this is just an anecdote, but like everyone else here, I want to see you succeed here. Good luck with your appt. Do you know if you have been ovulating (like have they done bloodwork to follow it, not just cm)? The ovidrel really ensures ovulation. I know you are loathe to do so much intervention. I was there...but in for a penny, in for a pound?

Laila, I hear you, but any sign anything at all would be fantastic (well, not being struck by lightning, but something less dramatic might tide me over).

Melz! glad you like it! Troglodyte! Well, glad you could join us here on the internets. Yep, I''m cheap, and gearing up to have to fight BCBS as they are my new insurance. They wanted me to have a hysterectomy at 21, so those bastards can certainly now pay for anything ovarian related. (come on public option!) Anyway, you could always be like Festy and create an alter-ego

No, that would be too confusing. How do you switch back and forth F? I can barely keep up with being swimmer! Excellent, well you should be good and basted! Poorly manicured fingers and toes crossed for you!

 

[lovelylulu]

thanks melz

and swimmer. it''s really quite amazing how quickly the spirit can rebound. i''ll be really worried when i can''t bounce back.

swimmer - right now, the thickness of my uterine lining is not a known issue. it''s more of a hunch. based on the spotting/progesterone issues. i have not been monitored through an entire cycle, nor have i had bloodwork to confirm ovulation. i have used my own home monitor and i''m pretty sure that i do. however, the re recommended a trigger shot of ovidrel and I am likely to follow that advice.

 

[fisherofmengirly]

at the end of last week, it was obvious that this was going to be another failed cycle. vacillating between hopefulness and disappointment each month, month after month is hard. it is so easy to get discouraged. everytime AF comes along, it's a 'dam*it moment' for sure. but this negative felt truly overwhelming. Partly, because I think that for the first time, I realized that this isn't going to happen. at least, not the way that I had thought. but, more so because I felt so lost. how can i make the decisions i'm facing when i don't have the information much less the answers? blasted unexplained infertility.




over the weekend, my dh and i discussed our options. while they are far from ideal, we've made the decision to move forward with a clomid/iui. the monitoring that is done during an iui is was the deciding factor. we are starting to feel more and more like there is a potential implantation issue. ultrasounds will confirm that i actually ovulate and will also be able to provide information about the 'state' of my uterine lining. My health insurance doesn't cover this. My doctor explained that since we're paying for all of these monitoring costs already, it might make sense to just go ahead and add the 'insemination' part. the logic makes sense to us.

I just called and made the appointment. i have a bloodwork and ultrasound scheduled for this thursday.

I feel hopeful that despite whether the iui portion works or not, at least we may have more answers than we do now. and who knows, maybe we'll get lucky? it would be about time for it to change

Lulu, each of us here I absolutely root for to finally get their baby in their arms. And my "long time" friends even more so. I don't know how I'll react to my own good news, but I'm pretty sure I'll be almost as excited when you get yours, too!!

It's hard to not to get disappointed and wonder if/when your positive attitude, positive vibes are for nothing. I know, I've been there. It's such a difficult road, especially when you don't know what's going on, what's wrong, what's taking so long. I'm scared of there being a day when there is no more hope, no more cheery, "well, next time it shall be then," mentality. I mean, I can't *not* believe it's coming, but when you're faced with so many cycles of repeatedly dashed dreams, it strikes a nerve, and it makes you question whether or not it will ever happen. I think every woman who's tried beyond several months has those feelings, and at times I wonder if I'm just faking myself out, having false hope over and over again. The thing is, both of us have so much more to find out before it's anywhere near time to get defeated. It's totally not how I dreamed this process would be, but when I think about it, I can find blessings in the time frame... I think I'll appreciate pregnancy more, we've had more time to save up for our child, we've had more time of just the two of us, I've gotten to see Paul grow in his desires to be a father, and those are all wonderful things. I'm sure you've also experienced these same things.... But really, it's time already!! I know, I know.

Wishing you all kinds of luck with your new plan, girl. It will work; you're gonna be a mommy and it's going to be a wonderful experience for the rest of your life. (We, too, would have to pay for everything if we go the IUI route, which is daunting to think of... I have a friend who recently did it, med-free and it was $600. A far cry from the cost of IVF, but still, two or more rounds of that adds up...)

****
Swimmer, forgot about your question about the ultrasounds. My friend defines herself as "so granola I crunch," so she's just not into anything in the way of modern medicine and thinks just about anything can be fixed from a more aternative, natural approach. She was saying that ultrasounds, because they measure by sonic waves, cause severely high pitched noises to bounce around the baby, which is why babies are typically so active during ultrasounds. I'm not sure what bearing that has on babies who are only 6 weeks in their growth patterns, though. She has one child, just turned one, and had to have an early ultrasound because she was high-risk (she'll be quick to point out that this was only by modern medicine's standards, though... kinda fiesty that way). And she didn't have any beyond that, because of concern of trauma to the child from the ultrasounds. Then she went into preterm labor and they did an ultrasound to see if the baby was distressed, and he was born two days later. Hard to say if that was because of preterm labor, or the ultrasound. She was just saying that ultrasounds are over used now as a "picture time" for the parents to see their babies. I have to admit, though, I was quite looking forward to my "picture time!"

****
FB- I asked because one of the ladies here who's far along now just outted herself on FB and I had no idea she was keeping it hush hush, and well, I just wondered if anyone ever outted her on a wall-to-wall. I'd just hate for a family member to find out because someone was so excited by our news that they wanted to send a more personal congrats than over a forum. But more often than not, it seems that would be something you'd message someone, anyway. Just a thought I had, which led to a question. Anyway, I only have a few FB friends who're here, and so it's not a problem, I suppose.

(Yes, still amazed by Ebree's abililty to keep a secret as long as she did. I just kept thinking, "She found out at Halloween??" Haha... I'm not that good!)

***
Is it just me or are there some cycles that just feel more like you're pregnant than others, like you carry more hope with you, more of a positive vibe that you can't shake? It's so random (it seems to me, since I've been wrong every time so far, of course), but I *so* hope that one of these days (in a week or so), I'm finally right! Totally crazy what the mind can put us through...

 

[Laila619]

lulu, I think it's a great plan to try the iui! Perhaps the issue is hostile cervical mucus and the iui will get around that. Clomid does thin your lining, so it's good you're going to be monitored.

 

[Puppmom]

Gosh, this thread moves fast! I have a lot of catching up to do!

Fisher, I’m really enjoying following your story and I can’t wait till you get your BFP! I’m rooting for you. I’m not “charting” but have been keeping track of my CM.

Icekid, congrats on the timeline. It felt so good for me to put one in place. Then you get to start “doing the math”. If I get pregnant this cycle then I’ll be due… What fun!

Dr. K – thanks for stopping in and giving your advice. I’ve found it all very informative.

As for me, I tried OPKs this month. Got my positive on Sunday, BDed Saturday, Sunday, yesterday and ready for round four for good measure I used the Clear blue easy digital. I don’t know how you ladies use the line comparison. I would never be able to read that thing! One thing I noticed this cycle is VERY little EWCM. I always have it and, after doing a little research, I think it may be scant because I’ve been taking Benadryl. I was ATTACKED by mosquitoes and couldn’t sleep for almost a week because my legs itched so bad. Dangit! There’s so much to know!

This TWW is going to be torture! Any pointers on how to pass the time and resist POAS by DPO 10 would be greatly appreciated!

 

[swimmer]

Hmmm, Fisher, I too am a granola eating hippy. We get most of our food from a year round farm share, go to an acupuncturist, and DH does not allow plastic into our home. But man I want technology to determine how many follies or I might turn out like Kate Duggar or not pregnant at all. Her explanation of ultrasounds makes no sense at all scientifically, but no need to mention that while she is being kind enough to adjust you. Suffice to say, do not worry about your baby being deafened during a u/s. Perhaps they are active because folks are pushing down on the belly? eh? Sorry to get so fired up, just had a conversation with my mom who is anti trying for a baby. Prayer alone will not bring a baby. That was all women had for the vast majority of history, and it remains a comfort, but why not use the technology that we are fortunate to have access to? Needless to say, between my mom and MIL, (does one promptly send a ty note for a gift for the future?) I am going insane.

Lulu, Ohhhhhh. I though you were doing progesterone b/c they had identified your lining as an issue. I do not like the sounds of "hostile mucus." Can you visualize it in cartoon form? The attack of the hostile mucus!

 

[NewShiny]

Hi Ladies! Just popping in to wish the ladies in the TWW best of luck. I am rooting for all of you. Sorry I''ve been away - it has been hard since I am still waiting for AF to show. I had my d&c one month ago today, so hopefully AF will make her appearance sometime in the next couple of weeks. Then again, if she does not come ''till after Labor Day, we can try in Hawaii!

Lulu, I hope you are at peace with your decision to go for the IUI. I think sometime making these types of decisions are the hardest part.

Did anyone read the raging debate on the NY Times website "Well" section regarding infertility? I could not believe some of the things that people posted on there.

Fisher, I flew to CA at 8 weeks to tell my parents the good news, then had to call them with bad news the following week. So, my advice is to take it one step at a time. I don''t regret flying there and telling them, I''m just not sure if I''m willing to do it again.

Pupp, when I was in the TWW, I just reminded myself how expensive tests are, and I continued to temp. During my PG cycle, it wasn''t until my temps were super high 15DPO that I decided to test. After the first couple of months TTC, I couldn''t handle the negative test disappointment anymore.

Sorry to be such a debbie downer, I just wish AF would get here so I can join you all again!!

 

[Festy]

Lulu, I wish this process weren''t so hard. Sometimes getting to the next step, if that''s your choice, is the hardest part. It sucks big-time that you have to pay for it, but hopefully you will find your answer quickly and be done with the expensive treatments. I can''t possibly improve on Fisher''s wisdom but want you to know that I''ve been through everything you''re feeling.

Swimmer, you and your mother/m.i.l. stories are cracking me up. And yes, I hope to god that hostile cervical mucus is my problem. I noticed on DH''s SA that the pH of his "stuff" was a little higher than normal, i.e., more basic (is that right, scientists?). And our RE mentioned that the pH in the vagina is acidic, so I''m just hoping that my hoo-ha has been killing DH''s sperm right out of the gate and this IUI works the first time! It would so fit my personality if I had a sperm-killing vagina!

Fisher - it sounds like you are a little optimistic! Oh I hope this is the cycle for you!

Pupp - Hmm, how to pass the time during the 2ww...you could take some lessons from Swimmer and rearrange your furniture or learn how to use a breast pump!

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Swimmer, forgot about your MIL. Mine is nutty at times about all things baby, herself. But she''s never gone to that extreme. She has made a recent habit of buying maternity clothes for me, "for that time, you know," with a smile that just makes me wish I could tell her it''s that time. But in time, I will.

Haha... your thank you note should read: Dear MIL, thank you for the pump, but I hope you kept the receipt. It''s not working right yet. Next we''ll try it on your son. If that doesn''t work, please return and get me (us) something we can use. Thanks, Your loving DIL.

***
Shiny, hoping you''re able to jump back in again soon. I''m sure you will be able to. I think even if I did have an early loss, I''d want the support of my mom. I think it''s just something I''d need her to help me through... Dunno. I think I''ll end up flying home ASAP when we find out. But I may be strong and wait it out. Yeah, it''s going to just be a wait and see in the moment thing. I can tell.

***
Pupp, thanks! I can''t wait for everyone''s day here to come. I seriously get *so* excited when we get a positive around here. It''s so exciting!

***
Ultrasounds, yeah, I''m not sure where I fall on the "controversy" over ultrasounds. I didn''t think there was one, actually. (Well, I do remember Blen not having one until late in her pregnancy, but I don''t recall the specifics of why...). Anyway, my friend sent me this link tonight (I''ve not even looked at it yet... speakers are all messed up--Paul plays things too loud and I think they''re blown out) regarding ultrasounds and concerns with them. Just a little more to get you raging, Swimmer. I''m an enabler tonight.

http://www.comcast.net/video/baby-imaging-ban/1220631363/Comcast/1220507936/

***
Totally non-TTC but just a need to vent: Okay, I have anxiety issues when in large crowds or in unfamiliar situations/surroundings. This is something Paul has never experienced, and he cannot relate to it at all. He thinks if I simply decide that I''ll remain calm in a particular situation, I should be fine. I don''t go into hysterics, but I get really tight in the throat, kind of zone out/lose focus of my eyes, and sometimes have a hard time breathing. My heart races and I feel trapped. For the most part, if someone with whom I''m comfortable is with me, I''m fine. Well, Paul''s brother is getting married soon and Paul is in the wedding party and will be up front with the bridal party during the reception. Totally understand this, and wouldn''t want it another way. Paul and his brother are close and I''m glad Paul will be able to participate in such a monumental day in that capacity. His parents will be at a special table in their honor, and again, that''s to be expected. His cousins are also in the wedding, and will be up front. This leaves no one with whom I''m close/comfortable to sit during the reception. I told Paul I would be most comfortable with attending the wedding and then coming home or going shopping or something for the reception portion. You would have thought I told him I was boycotting the whole wedding because I don''t like his brother (granted, we have had our issues in the past, and if he''d married a spiteful woman, this would be a rational thought, but he didn''t, so it isn''t). I''m just frustrated that something that''s an issue I''ve had since I met him cannot simply be accepted. Perhaps I''ll have morning sickness kicking in around that time and I''ll have a reason to be home and avoid the whole shin dig.

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Date: 8/25/2009 9:52:11 PM
Author: Festy
Lulu, I wish this process weren''t so hard. Sometimes getting to the next step, if that''s your choice, is the hardest part. It sucks big-time that you have to pay for it, but hopefully you will find your answer quickly and be done with the expensive treatments. I can''t possibly improve on Fisher''s wisdom but want you to know that I''ve been through everything you''re feeling.

Swimmer, you and your mother/m.i.l. stories are cracking me up. And yes, I hope to god that hostile cervical mucus is my problem. I noticed on DH''s SA that the pH of his ''stuff'' was a little higher than normal, i.e., more basic (is that right, scientists?). And our RE mentioned that the pH in the vagina is acidic, so I''m just hoping that my hoo-ha has been killing DH''s sperm right out of the gate and this IUI works the first time! It would so fit my personality if I had a sperm-killing vagina!

Fisher - it sounds like you are a little optimistic! Oh I hope this is the cycle for you!

Pupp - Hmm, how to pass the time during the 2ww...you could take some lessons from Swimmer and rearrange your furniture or learn how to use a breast pump!

I can''t lie; when am I not?

Haha about your personality being expressed through your CM... you crack me up!!

 

[mia1181]

Just popping in to thank you ladies for your comments.

Fisher- I am 27 (bout to be 2 so it is helpful to know that I could seek help even though I am not over the magic 35. Although I do think I might need both wonky charts and failed attempts at pregnancy to be taken seriously... I don''t know, what if this also a sign of a health problem? I''m trying to not get too worried. I know stress can cause it too but I don''t know if I have been under THAT much stress. I did switch jobs and move from NorCal to SoCal though.... and when my cycles started getting funny was when DH moved first and I was alone.... I didn''t feel stressed but there was definitely a correlation. We are together now so hopefully it improves!

Nice chart BTW! I hope that temp stays up, up and up for you!

Swimmer- Yes stress, so they say... I guess I have a hard time believing because it''s not like I have had some debilitating stress (like losing a loved one or something). Plus I tend to be skeptical since stress isn''t something you can measure. But it has been a transitional time in my life so anything is possible.

DrK- Thanks for your advice about not putting my life on hold. That was nice to hear since that is a bit how I feel saying I can''t TTC because of a job. I do think we will reevaluate once we feel settled. Which will hopefully be soon!



Anyway you ladies are always in my thoughts! I don''t have much time for PS these days but when I am here I usually pop in to look for some big fat +''s Hopefully we''ll have some soon! Good luck all of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[swimmer]

Fisher,
They are going to make you sit by yourself? WHAT? Who are these people and on what planet is it ok to split up two married people in a seating chart? Do you want me to call the bride? Please let me, i''m on it. Are they saying that you are not a relative, but cousins are? You are their SISTER in law. I am apoplectic over this. Good luck dealing.

Can''t sleep, up at 4am. gah.

 

[Festy]

NewShiny - we must have been posting at the same time last night. There''s an anniversary that no one should have to celebrate. I hope you''re managing ok and I''m sending lots of AF dust your way.

Mia - Hi! I feel like I may have inadvertently ignored your last post? I think it was an anovulatory chart, no? Sorry about that! To grasp at a totally random number, I''d say three months of anovulatory cycles plus TTC would be plenty rationale for going to the doctor.

Fisher - I am joining Swimmer in her outrage. I can see being separated for the ceremony but for the reception? Who''s ever heard of such a thing? Even if you didn''t experience this kind of anxiety, what kind of fun of fun would you have?

Swimmer, thank you for providing a mental of a hostile vagina. I am enjoying that joke immensely. What were you doing up so early?

More TMI from me - had tons of seemingly fertile CM this morning, despite the fact that I''m pretty sure I ovulated on Monday. Strange. I wonder if DH is up for some traditional-style baby-making tonight just in case. The poor guy has been exhausted from having to "produce" in the mornings.

 

[lovelylulu]

festy - your comment about your "poor" husband made me chuckle. nothing wrong with a little old-fashioned gotf

puppmom - welcome

i use the clear blue monitor as well. it''s simple and easy. and i think works much better for other people than it has for me

good luck!

laila - thanks for the well wishes - right back at you! and i have to agree with swimmer - hostile mucus is a horrible phrase.

new shiny - i hope that you get your AF soon. hawaii sounds like the perfect place for a new beginning. my Dh and i have been plotting some amazing getaway all in the name of making a baby!!

and a general thanks for all of the comments! you ladies are outstanding.

I just wanted to clarify, because these are such personal choices. I am not against interventions. I did want to give my body the chance to do what it was meant to do -- conceive naturally. however, despite lots of second chances, it seems that may not be possible. my hesitation with moving forward to the "treatment" phase is not because I am uncomfortable with the idea of letting modern medicine take some control over the process. Rather, I am really struggling with subjecting my body to treatments that may be hopelessly irrelevant to my situation. If a dr. could identify the problem and let me know how a particular treatment was addressing that problem, I likely would have done it a while ago. but that is not possible right now . . . maybe it will be after this cycle.

best wishes to all!

 

[swimmer]

Ha! OK, so tonight we see if the breast pump works on DH or the dog! Yes, so many people other than the actual mom and dad are invested...just not sure why are all mine so batty.

New Shiny, pulling for you! You are not being a downer, we have all been in that wait for AF...after an m/c it is just the worst. Hoping that she shows soon so you can start anew.

Festy, so what can be done for hostile mucus? I''m thinking of that SatC episode on wheatgrass...but there must be real options like pre-seed? Or a How to Win Friends and Influence Sperm workshop that you could attend with your cervix? I hear you, an ironic and hysterical twist. Fertile cm is always a good sign. GOTF girl. Or somewhere else a little more comfy if DH is worn out. I was up at 4 for no real reason. I am a deep sleeper, like a bear hibernating really, totally out of character, no idea what is up. Back to school jitters?

Good Luck Mia! And I totally agree with DrK. Who knows where you will be in life in a year...who knows where any of us will be financially, health-wise, our DHs... I''m sorry, how many cycles has it been now trying? It couldn''t hurt to call your gyno to get an appt, its not like they can usually see you that soon. Mostly, good luck with the new situation and relaxation mission.

Fishy, I am still irate re that seating chart. I can and will hunt down that bride and gently but firmly remind her how she would feel sitting apart from her beloved. Me: weddings are all about creating a new family, joining together two people, but really forming a network of loved ones who support and care for one another. WTF are you doing putting your SIL at a table with your random work friends?" OK, I tried to be nice. It never lasts long.

Off to the mall to purchase some back to school sneakers! Thinking the saucony jazz in red. snazzy!

hope everyone is staying cool and getting through the week OK.

 

[blushingbride]

Hey Girlies!

Just a quick driveby since I have a ton of work sitting on my desk.

Lovely - sweetie, I'm so sorry to hear your frustrations with all of this (obviously we can all relate). I hope that seeking further fertility treatments gives you the answers you need. We all wanted things done "naturally," believe me I never wanted to be on clomid or thinking ahead about IUI or IVF. *sigh* It sometimes makes me feel like I failed as a woman somehow. Luckily, I didn't get to where I am today overnight - it's been a long process and I've been preparing myself for all of this along the way. And because of that, it's been a little easiler to accept.

I do agree with the others (I think it was Swimmer that nailed the point home) that getting the extra monitoring will be great for you!

As for me, I have been getting TONS of extra monitoring at my RE (Nycbkgirl - this place has totally surpassed my expectations - it's fabulous!!!). At NY Pres., they give you daily instructions after giving you an utlrasound and a blood test. I had gone to the dr's on Thurs. for bloodwork (she is monitoring my LH surge) and ultrasound. I had three large follicles in my right ovary that they were happy about. Also, they check your lining - mine was 8mm. Anyway, my doc asked me to come back Sat. morning as a walk-in for general monitoring (just bloodwork and ultrasound) with the doc on call for the weekend. She also gave me a perscription for ovidrel which freaked me out a little, but DH said he would give it to me. She told me to bring it on Sat. in case the nurses wanted to inject me. Well, they didn't and called Sat. to give me further instructions which were to come back Sun. morning. I went back for more bloodwork and an ultrasound, got a call that afternoon with my instructions and again, they wanted me to come back on Mon. Ironically, I had another appt. with my doc scheduled so, she did the ultraound and bloodwork. Got a call that afternoon with my instructions and they told me to take the ovidrel that night between 10-11pm.

I started getting really nervous about that because I was hoping to ovulate on my own. Anyyway, as usual, DH was WONDERFUL and gave me the shot. It was quick and painless. The next morning, my fertility monitor said peak, so it totally worked! I just couldn't believe how much monitoring I got - and I was only on 50 mg of clomid this month. I can't imagine what happens if it was an IUI or IVF! Granted, my arms look like I'm an addcit with all the needle marks...lol!

Also, per the intstructions we've been given, we've been told to BD at some times we are not used to (as in the mornings during the week). Again, DH has been amazing through it all - I know I am very lucky.

Anyway, just wanted to share my experience. I'm hopeful, but also am aware that nothing is guaranteed so, all I can do is pray.

Newshiny - great to see you again!

I can feel your pain - waiting for that darn AF was the WORST (and now I hope to never see the witch again - at least not for the next 9 months

). My AF came about 5 weeks after my miscarriage and lasted for over 6 days which was long for me. I do hope it comes soon for you! It definitely helped to bring some closure to everything. BTW - I am soooo jealous you are going to Hawaii! My best friend at work is getting married on Friday and going to Hawaii on her honeymoon next week. I gave her a list of recommendations on where to go, eat, shop, etc. and all the memories of my honeymoon came flooding back. That trip was HEAVENLY to say the least!

Which reminds me, last night DH and I celebrated our 2-year anniversary!

I can't believe it - where does the time go???

Festy, Melanie and Swimmer - I'm still cheering for you all!!!

Fisher - that's a shame about not being able to sit with your hubby. One of my best friend's did that at her wedding (at the time I wasn't married) so, it's definitely not unheard of. I remember that we hardly sat done at the head table. We were constantly with our dates at their tables or on the dance floor, etc. At one point, I went back to the table to eat my dinner and I looked around...I was the only one up there! I don't think it's going to be as bad as you think. However, if I were you, I'd try and make the best of it. Maybe there will be other "single" spouses at your table who will feel just as lost as you. You could end up meeting some nice people and having a great time after all.

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Re: the reception. Yes, it''s not unheard of to have a bridal party table up front, facing all the other guests. My best friend''s wedding was like that. I think every wedding should be just as the bride and groom dream it to be and if they want a bridal table, have one indeed! I''ve not said a word about it to the bride or the groom and I don''t plan to, because I wouldn''t have wanted anyone to have told us how to have our reception on our wedding day (we got married in the morning and had a low key mingling reception, which is right up our alley... especially mine. I don''t mind crowds if I can mill around and change up the scenery). I just wish Paul wasn''t upset that I''m wanting to skip the reception. I don''t think it''s rude because I will have been at the wedding. Anyway, maybe when the time comes I won''t be feeling anxious and it will all be just fine. Never know.

Okay, enough of that for now.

***
I had a HIGH temp today, ladies. Very excited. Like this----->

Until I realized that it was probably as high as it was because our upstairs A/C stopped working. We dual A/Cs, one to push out the vents downstairs and in the basement and one in the attic to push out for the upstairs. Well, the fan''s working, but the big box thing outside isn''t. Sad. So when I got up it was a whopping 83 degrees... which likely accounts for the high temp this morning.

We have home warranty insurance, and I talked to them today and if whatever''s wrong falls under "normal wear and tear," we''re covered with only our deductible of $100, so I''m hoping that they realize it can only be normal wear and tear. Paul is "working" on it right now... hoping that doesn''t take away from the "normal wear and tear" that caused it to stop in the first place.

I''m glad we have A/C downstairs. I''m gonna curl up with the doggie on the pull out sofa bed tonight. Paul says he''s gonna sleep upstairs, but I''m not sure I believe him.

I guess about 8 DPO is as far as I can go before I start *feeling symptoms,* because today I was cramping and I was sure I was about to have the beginning of a new cycle, until I realized I''m still a week away from a new one... and then I though, "ooh, that means my baby''s implanting. Goofy smile stuck to my face for a majority of the morning. Then it went away, so now I think it was just in my head. And every single cycle I tell myself I will not have pseudo symptoms....

***
I''m very excited for our soon to be testers! I just know there will be success this round! No doubt about it.

Blushing, I''m glad you''re having so much monitoring; maybe that will be just what''s needed to time things perfectly. I''ve always wondered when women have the every other day ultrasounds and/or bloodwork, how does that work with your job? I mean, do people ask why you''re out so much? And with IUI or IVF, do you have to lay out the rest of the day to rest, or can you go back to work afterwards?

 

[Sha]

Date: 8/26/2009 7:47:41 PM
Author: fisherofmengirly
Re: the reception. Yes, it's not unheard of to have a bridal party table up front, facing all the other guests. My best friend's wedding was like that. I think every wedding should be just as the bride and groom dream it to be and if they want a bridal table, have one indeed! I've not said a word about it to the bride or the groom and I don't plan to, because I wouldn't have wanted anyone to have told us how to have our reception on our wedding day (we got married in the morning and had a low key mingling reception, which is right up our alley... especially mine. I don't mind crowds if I can mill around and change up the scenery). I just wish Paul wasn't upset that I'm wanting to skip the reception. I don't think it's rude because I will have been at the wedding. Anyway, maybe when the time comes I won't be feeling anxious and it will all be just fine. Never know.

Okay, enough of that for now.

***
I had a HIGH temp today, ladies. Very excited. Like this----->

Until I realized that it was probably as high as it was because our upstairs A/C stopped working. We dual A/Cs, one to push out the vents downstairs and in the basement and one in the attic to push out for the upstairs. Well, the fan's working, but the big box thing outside isn't. Sad. So when I got up it was a whopping 83 degrees... which likely accounts for the high temp this morning.

We have home warranty insurance, and I talked to them today and if whatever's wrong falls under 'normal wear and tear,' we're covered with only our deductible of $100, so I'm hoping that they realize it can only be normal wear and tear. Paul is 'working' on it right now... hoping that doesn't take away from the 'normal wear and tear' that caused it to stop in the first place.

I'm glad we have A/C downstairs. I'm gonna curl up with the doggie on the pull out sofa bed tonight. Paul says he's gonna sleep upstairs, but I'm not sure I believe him.

I guess about 8 DPO is as far as I can go before I start *feeling symptoms,* because today I was cramping and I was sure I was about to have the beginning of a new cycle, until I realized I'm still a week away from a new one... and then I though, 'ooh, that means my baby's implanting. Goofy smile stuck to my face for a majority of the morning. Then it went away, so now I think it was just in my head. And every single cycle I tell myself I will not have pseudo symptoms....

***
I'm very excited for our soon to be testers! I just know there will be success this round! No doubt about it.

Blushing, I'm glad you're having so much monitoring; maybe that will be just what's needed to time things perfectly. I've always wondered when women have the every other day ultrasounds and/or bloodwork, how does that work with your job? I mean, do people ask why you're out so much? And with IUI or IVF, do you have to lay out the rest of the day to rest, or can you go back to work afterwards?

I had brief cramping on 8 dpo too....on my bfp cycle....

....Just thought I'd mention....

Best wishes to you for this cycle and all the other ladies TTC! Hope you get your bfps soon!!

 

[ljmorgan]

Hoping that you TTC experts can help! Earlier this month around CD14, 15, my body geared up to ovulate -- more CM, darker OPKs but not quite positive -- no temp shift. Then on Monday, I got a positive OPK and a positive digital OPK. I was excited, but now here''s my issue. It''s now Thursday morning... and I am STILL get positive OPKs. I''m not talking about "I think the lines are the same color" OPKs -- I am using First Response OPKs and the test lines are coming out blaringly darker than the control line, so that''s not the issue. So Monday I had the FR positive, the CBE digital positive. Tuesday I had two positive FRs, a negative digi. No digis left so yesterday (Wednesday) was a positive FR with FMU, a positive FR at 11 am, and I was relieved to see a negative FR OPK last night at 9pm -- whew, thought the long surge was finally over. But then again this morning... blaringly positive OPK. What is going on? Obviously not preggo, no temp shift. My chart is attached. Any of you experts have any ideas??

 

[Festy]

Hi Lindsey! Gosh, I don''t think I''m enough of a chart expert to tackle that one. To be on the safe side, it might make sense to take a HPT. Just in case? Other than that...I think that PCOS can cause multiple OPK +''s. Have you ever had a reason to think that might be an issue for you? Not a doctor at all, so please don''t put too much stock in what I have to say!

Fisher - thinking good thoughts for you! I hope those cramps mean something. I am plagued by mild crampiness throughout most of my LP, so I can''t help but think that the cycle when I am pregnant will be the one when I''m not crampy! Crampy today, of course. At 3 DPO.

Blushing - that is fabulous that you''re being monitored so closely. I''m not being monitored at all and plan on asking the RE about that if this IUI round is a bust.

DrK - so I''m watching a segment on the Today Show this morning on what to do with frozen embryos and the Today Show doc *repeatedly* referred to transfer as implantation! It made me laugh. And seethe. On your behalf.

Melz - we haven''t heard from you in like a whole day! How are you?

Swimmer - get any good sneakers? I have a major weakness for fun, sporty shoes.

 

[Sha]

Lindsey, I''m thinking it''s possible you''re O''ing today and will see a temp shift tomorrow. The multiple positive Opks may just be a very long surge - it''s weird, but I''ve seen charts with 3+ days of positive opks before.

Also looks like you had delayed ovulation this cycle, for some reason, since you say your body geared up to ovulate on CD14 and didn''t. That happened to me before when I got sick around O time - my O was delayed for about two weeks. When I finally did get ready to O again - I had about 10 days of ewcm! It was very strange. Maybe delayed ovulation screws up your fertile signs a bit - leading to more/less cervical mucus or a longer LH surge?

 

[neatfreak]

Fisher There really is no controversy AT ALL over ultrasounds. Except for the most natural of natural hippies who think like your friend does. But the research just does not in any way support these far fetched theories about them. So don''t worry-you can have your u/s when the time comes without worry!

 

[melz]

Ah yes I've been absent for a whole day or so.

My happy mood was short-lived, I've been in a bit of a funk. And that funk might be explainable, as I just found out yesterday that the progesterine suppository I've been using actually does have a side effect, it basically makes you feel premenstrual. This I had to be told by my acupuncturist. Sigh. So it explains how hard this month has been for me. Turns out we're not going to the Cape this weekend, so my bloodtest is now Sunday. Still do not feel pregnant.

Blushing I'm glad you are having such a good experience at your new place.

And Fisher .... hm. Cramping. Well I will just cross my fingers and toes for you. The place I'm at does ultrasounds and bloodwork first thing in the morning (like starting at 6:30), so I would just get them before work. After my iui's, I didn't need to rest. But they wanted me to lay low for 24 hours after the ivf transfer.

Okay and I know I am late to the game and Fisher is wishing she hadn't brought it up but ARRGGHH! How selfish. Honestly. I think the whole lot of us are ready to crash that wedding and sit with Fisher.

 

[lovelylulu]

Lindsay - I''m sorry, I''m a useless chart analyst. I hope that ovulation is soon confirmed!

melz -

I kind of love progestrone. almost could sing a song about it, really. but that''s because it stopped my spotting and didn''t have any deleterious side effects. but a whole month of blah. that''s terrible. hopefully on sunday you''ll learn that it''s all been worth it

********************************************************************************
a little update:

I went into my appointment for blood work and an ultrasound. everything looked good with the ultrasound, so I was left to wait for a call confirming that my bloodwork was normal and that the iui was on. well, not before swiping my debit card for a cool $1200. hefty.

I''m going about my day at work when I receive a call from a nurse. she begins to tell me that my blood work was normal, however, she didn''t go into what exactly the numbers were because she got sidetracked. by a consent form.

when I made today''s appointment, I was told that both my husband and I needed to sign a consent form at their clinic or bring in one that was notorized. I told them that it would be impossible, because my husband is presently out of town on a business trip. I let them know that he''ll be back Friday night and that we could drop it off on Monday. The nurse said that was fine.

When I arrived at their office this morning, there was no mention of the consent form. I was in and out.

Then, this other nurse calls with my results and is telling me that I won''t be able to start "treatment" this cycle if I didn''t have the form into their office today. I tried explaining why that was impossible and how I had already discussed this with the other nurse. She just kept repeating that it was their policy and that I wouldn''t be able to move forward. She hung up to try and call the other nurse (out of the office of course) and I tried, in vain, to reach my husband who I know is in the middle of settlement discussions to let him know that he was going to have to run around denver to track down a notary.

The other nurse calls back and tells me once again that without a form today, I am not able to get treatment this cycle. A number of thoughts are racing through my head, when she says "hold on a minute." A few minutes go by and she comes back on the phone "I talked to Jennifer and she confirmed that you were told you could bring in the form on Monday, so we''ll call in that prescription and you can begin taking it this evening." I should just be happy that it "all worked out" but I was seething with frustration. There are enough biological hurdles that i need to overcome why must they throw up useless bureaucratic ones as well.

 

[Laila619]

Lindsey, PCOS can cause multiple positive OPKs. The reason why is because women with PCOS have elevated luteinizing hormone in their system at all times. LH is what makes the tests positive. But of course, I would call your doc for some tests. Maybe you will be ovulating soon. Fingers crossed!

 

[ljmorgan]

Thanks for the suggestions. This afternoon to clear everything up, I peed in a cup and took the following tests:

First Response OPK: positive
Clear Blue Easy OPK: negative
Clear Blue Easy Digital OPK: negative

I''ve come to the conclusion that the FRs are just too sensitive. Monday, the first day I got positive OPKs, I got a positive digital and blue OPKs, but not since then, so I am assuming that my surge actually did not last four days. For whatever reason, the FR''s are just super sensitive. I sure hope that I see a temp rise tomorrow morning!

 

[swimmer]

Fisher, true. It isn't unheard of... I agree with you about b+g together. Seating charts freaked me out so much we had a heavy hors de oeuvres buffet with conversation areas all over the garden -only a few tables for the elderly. Sigh, you are their sister, you should be at the head table. It is excellent that you are just dealing with it. My SIL is making me purchase an orange dress to simply attend her wedding, so its not like I'm standing up to anyone. btw i am olive and do not wear orange (despite being a huge lady vol fan).

Ditto Neatfreak (hi!) u/s is a non-controversy, that was an interesting piece of propaganda, thanks for posting it, DH laughed out loud watching it after a bad day at the lab, so in that, useful for something. So that is coming from a real science geek hippie.

Festy, How goes it? How you feeling, side effects? You are doing the progesterone right? It kills me that it gives all the signs of pregnancy, so there is no point in even making note of weirdness. No sneakers yet, I am way too cheap. Looking online now.

Melanie, Thinking of you. Wow, that is not a textbook chart. I don't really know what to say. Delayed ovulation usually means not as high egg quality though yours isn't THAT delayed. Have you thought about purchasing the big daily monitor if some are too sensitive and otheras are? I just don't understand opks. Festy and Laila are right about the pcos just messing with it, i never got a non ovidrel induced +opk, even when I did finally get a +hpt. Bodies are so weird. Good luck, we are all so pulling for you.

Lulu, I missed your earlier post. Totally understand your position. It is awesome that you are getting some info. I know the plummeting heart feeling of thinking that a cycle won't be monitored b/c of bureaucracy, it is just the worst feeling of powerlessness. When we signed that there was another form for DH to attest that he had never had a vasectomy. I laughed and asked if it was normal for sterilized men to try and conceive, the nurse said that occasionally a man does not want to tell his second wife! How insane to have your partner go through all this when you know it won't work! Anyway, good luck with this cycle!

BB, fantastic that you are being so closely monitored. Yay for ovidrel, it is awesome and yay for your DH for administering it! It is interesting when given exact instructions on when to bd! I hear you on the arm markings. Like the preggo thread does belly bump pictures, we could show off our bruised arms! Hoping this cycle is your lucky one!

Hi Sha! Good to see you, great input.

Melz, so sorry the good mood passed. Yeah, the s/e of prog is a bummer, there is no way to track preggo signs as they are all s/e of the inserts. So sorry you are not going to the cape. B/c of the incoming rain? Can you guys skip work?

it is going to be pretty tomorrow! Then work on Sat in the rain? We are ditching work tomorrow to go surfing, the waves should be fantastic. Can not believe that summer is almost over. So sad.

Today I watched the Kennedy motorcade go by and waved my condolences to all of them. They had the windows open and were smiling at everyone lined up to pay our respects. I would go wait in line at the library, but the lines look insane. And for the 4th day in a row I have super stomach pains. Probably from aforementioned inserts, which I understand Lulu's desire to sing about and yet Melz's discomfort. Had such a powerful dream last night that we had multiples and then I lost one, not euphemistically, literally I could not find it. Woke up agitated and did an internet cheapie, negative (11dpiui) so not surprising. It was still hard, but trying to stay positive without hoping too much. You all know how it goes. Oh, DH was not up for a breast pump demo and while the dog was willing, she wanted to chew on it, which seemed like a bad idea. But thanks for the suggestion!

Good wishes to all!

 

[Lanie]

HouMedGal: I''m in Houston too! I''ve seen you somewhere else on the forum, but I can''t remember where...I''m in the same situation as you. We just got married last month, and we are doing the condom thing. I''ve been off of BC since February and my cycles are super weird. I never know when i''m getting my period. We will probably start trying this winter. I just started charting my temperature and it''s actually kind of fun! i''m reading into it way too much though...I''ve read that you have to chart for weeks before you see patterns.

I wanted to make an observation. I have been a lurker on this forum since I was off BC and knew I''d start charting. First of all, this thread is WAY too long. It''s hard to find information on things. For instance, I typed in Robitussin in the search thing bc someone mentioned it, and I wanted to know what it was used in TTC for (I have since found out). But it only pulled up this particular thread. There are PAGES and PAGES of information on this thing! Just a thought...no real question or anything. Also...so many abbreviations! I don''t know what half of them mean!

My period is wack, and I''m sure getting pregnant will be hard for me and DH. I have 2 friends who have gotten pregnant literally the first month they tried, and while I''m not officially TTC, I can imagine how hard that will be and can be when it seems to be effortless for many people. i''m sure that''s been mentioned in here before, but I''ve read about some amazing stories of women who have been TTCing for 2 years and have positive attitudes and are happy for others when they do get pregnant. I don''t know...I''ve just been thinking about it a lot lately after hearing about my 2 friends, and it makes me even more nervous for myself.

So I guess I''m officially "coming out" to this forum.

I''m here and no longer lurking.