Top new engagement annoyances...

[luckystar112]

Date: 8/27/2007 5:17:20 PM
Author: iwannaprettyone
I just got a comments from a horrible lady...she said ''you shoulda asked for a bigger one!''

What?? 1.5 is plenty big!!!! ARGGGGGG

Okay...that''s it....I''m never going to Dallas.

I was watching a show last night on wedding cakes...and some baker from Dallas said something along the lines that the brides in dallas are really competive with diamond size and cake size.

But seriously....whenever someone says that a diamond bigger than mine is small, my diamond crawls into the fetal position and cries.
It''s funny how I want people to notice my diamond, but then I get embarressed when they do. I was very uncomfortable with having the biggest diamond at FI''s family reunion in VA, and yet I feel uncomfortable here having one on the "smaller" scale. Even though I really don''t! I''d say that I still have a bigger diamond than 95% of the girls that I see around me. Sure, if I went to the galleria area or river oaks or something I''d probably see diamonds way bigger. But oh well. I''ll probably upgrade in a few years anyway. And when I get a halo that should curb any DSS I may feel in the future.

 

[decodelighted]

Okay this one never happened but how crazy would it be??

"Engaged? To a man or a woman?"

I thought of it because I''m pretty sure my kooky aunt just *assumed* I was a lesbian because I waited until my late thirties to marry (a man! HA!

) They used to send me articles about women''s softball teams etc ... and I''m not an athlete! I always wondered what their reaction was when they HEARD I was engaged ..

Somehow they missed the actual wedding ceremony claiming they got "the time wrong"

. Showed up "in time" for the free grub though!

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 8/27/2007 2:27:59 PM
Author: bee*
The whole trying on thing seems to be different over here (or maybe it's the people that I know that have got engaged). They've all taken off their rings, handed them around to the girls and told them to try it on as it's good luck. Now when I get mine, Im not sure I want to do the same

Maybe it's a european thing? I've tried on all my friends erings and loads of my friends have tried on mine. I wouldn't let a stranger try it on, but friends are fine.

I've had lots of really nice comments about it though and quite a few commissions to design other peoples so I'm happy!

The only odd thing was the other week, we were at dinner with two other couples - one just married and one engaged - and they were saying how they wear their rings all the time. Sleeping, showering, cooking, gardening etc. I must have looked really shocked and said I always take mine off when I'm at home and never sleep, cook, garden etc with it on. Then I said that if they were going to wear their rings 24/7 they should get an ultrasonic to keep them looking sparkly. One of them got really huffy and said that her diamond was quite sparkly enough thanks.

The same girl who had been wondering why my non-diamond e-ring (well, diamond melee on the shank) was soooo sparkly in the restaurant.

 

[HollyS]

Date: 8/27/2007 5:54:46 PM
Author: decodelighted
Okay this one never happened but how crazy would it be??

''Engaged? To a man or a woman?''

I thought of it because I''m pretty sure my kooky aunt just *assumed* I was a lesbian because I waited until my late thirties to marry (a man! HA!

) They used to send me articles about women''s softball teams etc ... and I''m not an athlete! I always wondered what their reaction was when they HEARD I was engaged ..

Somehow they missed the actual wedding ceremony claiming they got ''the time wrong''

. Showed up ''in time'' for the free grub though!

I can totally relate -- this is my first marriage at 48! Before Dave and I started dating (when I was 35), I was asked constantly "Why aren''t you married?" or "What''s wrong with you, you''re not married?" or my fave "Are you gay?"

Then when we became serious it was "When are you getting married?" "What''s wrong with you two, don''t you want to get married?" "What are you waiting for?" Um, I was waiting to be asked.

Oh, I guess I could add another "engagement annoyance". How about this one "Are you going to have babies right away; you''re not getting any younger." My response is "I''m 48, he''s 52. NOT. GONNA.

 

[Gypsy]

When is the wedding is an annoying one for me. And the where is it going to be (we're bi-coastal). Or the 'weddings are expensive' comment.

Honestly though, recently EVERY wedding question has been getting ON THE NERVES for me.

 

[ephemery1]

I got the "it's about time" comment more than once.

And my 1.5 ct oval isn't huge by any means, but it faces up nicely (especially since I have long, bony fingers)... and I've actually had people tell me, "It's nice... but I would never want anything that big." Um, great, thanks for sharing... but since I'm not GIVING it to you, that doesn't really matter, does it?

Other than that, my engagement period was pretty positive... nothing too annoying!

 

[incmisirlou]

i overheard an acquaintance say the other day to a newly engaged person "my ring is so huge, i dont think anyone can top mine" (the center stone is about 1ct, btw)

 

[Harleigh]

LOVE this thread!

I cannot believe the people who put their fingers on top of your diamond to "look" at your ring...is there a REASON for this that makes ANY possible sense???

There is also a mid-eastern man who goes to the same coffee shop that FI and I do when I am at his house. He is very much into jewelry, is quite aware of around how much $ my FI has, and had the nerve to tell me I could''ve gotten a bigger ring out of FI and that I could''ve gotten him to spend more money on me! I was kinda like, um, it''s a 2.11 carat honker, it''s none of your business how much he paid, and my goal in life is NOT to see how much money I can get him to spend on me!

So, to confirm the list of annoyances, I am sick and tired of people asking if it is real, how big is it (at least a carat, right?

) and how much did your FI spend???

Also, as I''ve mentioned in previous threads, I keep getting that the setting I chose is "so dated" and how this style was popular in the 70''s and didn''t I want a more "modern" look? I just keep throwing back my old standby, "I''ll take that to mean ''classic,'' thanks!"

There are a ton more, but those are the biggest pet peeves for now...

 

[Haven]

Oy VEY! I can''t believe that you actually get these comments. Well, let me amend that--I can believe it, but I keep hearing Emily Post tsk-tsking in the background when I read these awful things people are saying to you!

BF and I are not engaged yet, we''re waiting on the ering to be finished, yet I can relate to the "It''s about time!" comments. BF is 37, I''m 26, and in the 3+ years we''ve been dating a more than a few people have said "So what''s his big flaw? Why isn''t he married yet?" I just say "Well, he''s extremely picky and he''s been waiting to find someone as fabulous as me, of course." And then I smirk and walk away.

Honestly, though, how can people be so rude? I still think it''s best to kill them with kindness, though, and to be as gracious as possible regardless of how DIFFICULT that can be at times!

My best friend has a 3 ct rb solitaire ering that is a family stone, and strangers constantly ask her how big it is. She answers them, but if it were me I''d feel compelled to say something like "it''s the perfect size for my hand, don''t you think?" It is so embarrassing to see people behave in such a manner, isn''t it?

 

[iwannaprettyone]

1. Puts nasty greasy germy fingers all over the diamond while saying "ooooohhh is purdy".
2. Asking "how much did he spend?"
3. Asking "how big is it?" Ummmm big
4. "can I try it on?"...uhhh, NO. Never. Don't ask again.
5. Saying something along the lines of when I get mine it will be bigger/ better etc (WHAT????)
6. Huge cell phone bill.
7. When's the date? (immediatley post proposal)
8. "So when are you planning to have kids?" Geez, haven't even set a date yet!
9. "Are you pregnant?"- seriously do people have no cooth?
10. "is it real?"
11. "you shoulda asked for a bigger one!"
12. "You're engaged?
13. "What took you so long?
14 "Can I be a bridesmaid???"
15. "Engaged? To a man or a woman?"- lmao Deco hahahah
16. 'weddings are expensive'- and your point is??? Hah
17. “it’s not what I woulda picked”- well thanks it's a relief because I HAVE TO WEAR IT AND NOT YOU!!!!!!
18. "So what's his big flaw? Why isn't he married yet?"- because he was waiting for ME, back of lady lol
19. "YOU BETTER INVITE ME" (accompanied with the puckered mouth) - ummm and who are you again???

 

[anchor31]

Oooh... I have plenty of those!

Stuff my FMIL did/said:

- Threw a tantrum because FI hadn''t told her when/how/where/why he was going to do it. (what, did she want to be there too? It wasn''t any of her business... and to be honest, he didn''t know himself... he did it very spontaneously and had nothing planned out)
- Demanded that my mother planned an engagement party for her - er... I mean us. (because it has to be the mother of the bride, and she has to do it this particular way, or else she''s so selfiiiish...)
- Refused to contribute to the wedding costs, then threw a fit when we decided to not invite our cousins. (with about one hundred cousins and half the wedding to pay, how could we?)

Stuff people my age said:

- Why marry so young? (I''ll be 23, not 17!)
- Don''t you want to travel first? (what, are both mutually exclusive?)
- *in an outraged tone* I would NEVER ask for such a big ring! (*blink* er, ok... because of course I blackmailed him and forced him to buy me a .5ct, right?)
- Diamonds are so overrated... (yeah, whatever...)
- Is it real? (no comment)
and last but not least:
- *in confused, sligthly repulsed tone* Why ever do you want to get married? (and why would I want to explain my values and convictions to you? It''s not because you don''t belive in marriage that I shouldn''t)

Oh, and I got the "when''s the date?" right after we got engaged, too.

 

[iwannaprettyone]

Date: 8/28/2007 9:09:42 AM
Author: anchor31
Oooh... I have plenty of those!

Stuff my FMIL did/said:

- Threw a tantrum because FI hadn''t told her when/how/where/why he was going to do it. (what, did she want to be there too? It wasn''t any of her business... and to be honest, he didn''t know himself... he did it very spontaneously and had nothing planned out)
- Demanded that my mother planned an engagement party for her - er... I mean us. (because it has to be the mother of the bride, and she has to do it this particular way, or else she''s so selfiiiish...)
- Refused to contribute to the wedding costs, then threw a fit when we decided to not invite our cousins. (with about one hundred cousins and half the wedding to pay, how could we?)

Stuff people my age said:

- Why marry so young? (I''ll be 23, not 17!)
- Don''t you want to travel first? (what, are both mutually exclusive?)
- *in an outraged tone* I would NEVER ask for such a big ring! (*blink* er, ok... because of course I blackmailed him and forced him to buy me a .5ct, right?)
- Diamonds are so overrated... (yeah, whatever...)
- Is it real? (no comment)
and last but not least:
- *in confused, sligthly repulsed tone* Why ever do you want to get married? (and why would I want to explain my values and convictions to you? It''s not because you don''t belive in marriage that I shouldn''t)

Oh, and I got the ''when''s the date?'' right after we got engaged, too.

hahahah, crazy people....

 

[NovemberBride]

I jsut have to chime in and post that the fingers all over the ring thing drives me crazy, and the worst offender of all is FI! Whenever he holds my hand he constantly is rubbing his fingers over the diamond. I don''t want to yell at him because (i) he is not much of a romantic and when he holds my hand in public I want to encourage him, not discourage him and (ii) he bought the ring. But seriously, sometimes it is all I can do not to yank my hand back!

 

[Aim_Turbo]

I''ve only been engaged for a little over a month and so far so good, nothing really annoying has happened!!!!

There is one thing that has me feeling a little weird and that''s all this talk about a 1.5 ct diamond being small or even a 1ct...my centre diamond is only .18 not even a quarter ct, so does that mean that mine is almost invisible hahah!

Come to think of it there was one annoying thing that happened, I had one person say on the day i got engaged..awwww it''s so cute!! and I was mortified...cute...my ring isn''t cute...it''s the hottest ring the world has ever seen!!! But I got over it, my centre diamond is the one my dad used to propose to my mom and has seen them through 33 yrs of marriage so i''m good with it!!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 8/28/2007 11:55:20 AM
Author: NovemberBride
I jsut have to chime in and post that the fingers all over the ring thing drives me crazy, and the worst offender of all is FI! Whenever he holds my hand he constantly is rubbing his fingers over the diamond. I don''t want to yell at him because (i) he is not much of a romantic and when he holds my hand in public I want to encourage him, not discourage him and (ii) he bought the ring. But seriously, sometimes it is all I can do not to yank my hand back!

Hehehe. I''m completely deaf in my left year, so TGuy only walks to my right, which means he only ever holds my right hand. I never thought about the whole holding hand/getting your ring grimy-thing.

I gotta wonder who you gals are surrounding yourself with (or are surrounded by)...lol. I don''t recall even getting one wonky comment, so these are quite funny to read!

Actually...just before I hit post, I remembered one my cousins emailed me back after I emailed the group of them saying we were going to get married. I thought it was a weird response...

"Well, it was inevitable but I suppose most roads will lead to this. "

I guess I surround myself with weird people too!

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 8/28/2007 3:35:56 PM
Author: Aim_Turbo
I had one person say on the day i got engaged..awwww it''s so cute!! and I was mortified...cute...my ring isn''t cute...it''s the hottest ring the world has ever seen!!!

It''s clear to me that you *already have* the FEELING most people are looking for as they re-model, re-set or "upgrade" their rings! Sometimes the FEELING doesn''t come no matter how much $$ one throws at the "problem". I think you''re the luckiest!

 

[Aim_Turbo]

Awwww Deco that was sooooo sweet!!! You actually made me go AWWW out loud hehehe!!!

I''m just happy and ecstatic that I''m marrying the man of my dreams, that''s all that matters!! Velveeta at it''s best eh??

Thanks so much for your sweetness!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 8/28/2007 4:08:55 PM
Author: Aim_Turbo
Awwww Deco that was sooooo sweet!!! You actually made me go AWWW out loud hehehe!!!

I''m just happy and ecstatic that I''m marrying the man of my dreams, that''s all that matters!! Velveeta at it''s best eh??

Thanks so much for your sweetness!

Hey, I''m all for velveeta. Sometimes I think we anal retentive PSers don''t have enough of it. Hee hee.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 8/28/2007 4:34:59 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 8/28/2007 4:08:55 PM
Author: Aim_Turbo
Velveeta at it''s best eh?? Thanks so much for your sweetness!

Hey, I''m all for velveeta. Sometimes I think we anal retentive PSers don''t have enough of it. Hee hee.

Heh ... I''m usually so lactose-(&sweetness)intolerant!

Gosh darn it, Aim Turbo ... you''ve softened my Extra Sharp heart with your infectious delight! Good for you!

We''re gonna need some pix of the Hotness, BTW!!

 

[Aim_Turbo]

Infectious delight!! Wow, I''m usually the sharp hearted one...damn you love of my life!!

All those years of cold steel looks have melted into goofy smiles and school girl giggles..i disgust myself!! haha

Neways, please see the hotness you have requested below Deco!! i hope to see your hotness as well!

 

[Hera]

Okay, so first of all I''m married and was just browsing the threads on this thread.(am I even allowed here?)

I thought I''d share some of my experiences after you get married.

First of all, people all the time notice my ring. They still still put their fingers all over the diamond. Every once in a while,(gasp) put their diamond ring next to mine to (gasp) compare the rings. My boss did this once and told me that my diamond looked kind of yellow even though it was an F color.

Many girls in their young twenties ask to see my ring and even the other day I took it off because I was having drinks with five of them and they took turns wearing it and oohing and awing. They even wanted to wear the wedding band. I thought it was really cute.

I''ve been asked the baby question a million times. The questions occur more the longer you''ve been married.

Luckily, (considering I live in California) I''ve never been told my diamond is small, even when it was i carat. I have known quite a lot of people with larger diamonds though. Although, some have not cared about the quality of the diamond.

My husband and I got married "young" at 23. My family was extremely skeptical and watched us closely for any signs of dysfunction. At our wedding my husband overheard my uncle say our marriage wouldn''t last. 10 years later, we are blissfully happy. We''ve vacationed, remodeled our home, got through school, adopted a doggie and kitty and are ready to start a family on our own terms.

 

[Hera]

Aim Turbo, that''s on FIRE!!

 

[Aim_Turbo]

Thanks Her!!

You said it though, all those little "annoying" things do drive you crazy but that''s the fun of it!!! I want people to say, can I try that on?? or put their germy hands all over it, basking in it''s hotness hahaha!!

It''s all fun!

Congrats on your blissfull marriage, I''m turning 31 this year and I finally feel grown up enough to be married and do the fam thing so I''m very impressed and happy for you because at 23 I was a brat!! B-R-A-T! Not the marrying kind hahah! So good for you and here''s (imagine a champaigne flute in your hand full of bubbly goodness!) to 20 more years for you and a speedy year of engagement for me!!

 

[Hera]

Aim Turbo, Thanks for your good wishes!! Congratulations to you too! Actually, imgine we''re sharing a bottle of champagne. Also, while we''re at it, please send over your water, because I get DSS all the time and although, thankfully, I don''t change out my husband, I do change out my ring.

Also, to everyone else, I was just thinking and laughing about this. When people put their dirty, grimy hands all over my diamond, I take it from them, polish it and give it back to them. You know, like they''re 5 years old.

 

[luckystar112]

So I guess the verdict is in? 1ct is small?

First we have incmisirlou saying that she overhead someone bragging about their diamond when it was only 1ct, and then we have heraanderson saying that no one commented on how small her diamond was, even when it was 1ct. (Note: I don't think either of them were being snobby or malicious! So please don't think that.

)

LOL. Now I see why DSS happens so quickly on pricescope. I need to go back to my pre-pricescope days when I thought 2ct diamonds were reserved for celebrities and royalty.

I know that 1ct is in no way large by pricescope standards, but I think it's probably still larger than a good 75% of the population or more, yes? It's certainly bigger than average where FI and I are from originally...although about average for people in TX, but probably below average for girls my age in TX.

I'm totally overthinking this, aren't I? I think it would be extremely immature of me to let myself become insecure about this. A large diamond is nice, but not important in the scheme of things. What matters is me and FI and what the ring represents. Besides, at least I can say it's more sparkly than the average diamond you see on the street.

 

[TravelingGal]

AimTurbo, as our local (I live in L.A.) waste of space bimbo would say,

"That''s hot."

Luckystar I''ve been really happy with my one carat. It''s perfect for everyday wear, doesn''t draw too much attention (especially in LA) but gives me plenty of sparkle and delight. I''ve seen Mara''s 2+ carat and my friend also has one of the about the same size that is Neil Lane. Both rings are just gorgeous. But I''ve tried on my friend''s and it looks just RIDICULOUS on me. Totally not me. So I take it off and happily put mine back on, and it''s a reminder that my ring suits me.

HOWEVER, this only happens when I try it on briefly. If I were to wear it, for say, a day or so, I am quite sure it would feel far less ridiculous. So note to self, only try on friend''s ring for a few seconds, otherwise I''m screwed.

 

[luckystar112]

TG, I totally forgot you had a 1ct cushion, even though I referenced your mom''s on my SMTR thread. (BTW, I sifted through all of your posts trying to find out what happened when you gave your mom the ring, but could never find anything. Was she happy? Her and I have twin rings!

)

Overall I am pretty happy with my stone. I think cushions have a little bit of magic to them. At least mine...sometimes it looks big, sometimes it doesn''t. (Seems to depend on if light is hitting all of the crown facets.) Sometimes it''s white white white, sometimes it''s got a bit of color. I love it though.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 8/28/2007 6:02:18 PM
Author: luckystar112
TG, I totally forgot you had a 1ct cushion, even though I referenced your mom''s on my SMTR thread. (BTW, I sifted through all of your posts trying to find out what happened when you gave your mom the ring, but could never find anything. Was she happy? Her and I have twin rings!

)

Overall I am pretty happy with my stone. I think cushions have a little bit of magic to them. At least mine...sometimes it looks big, sometimes it doesn''t. (Seems to depend on if light is hitting all of the crown facets.) Sometimes it''s white white white, sometimes it''s got a bit of color. I love it though.

I missed that thread...went back and looked at it. Your cushion is gorgeous, and yes you and my mom are ring twins. I asked for a cheap 4 prong temp setting and was delighted when I opened the box and saw what Mark set the cushion in. My mom loves it so much she refuses to get it reset, so it has ended up being the permanent setting. Of course, I think she is saying that so I don''t spend more money, but even I have to admit, the ring is really very lovely and graceful...as you have discovered yourself!

As for when I gave my mom the ring...I taped it all on video. She was shocked, shaking, crying, laughing, giggling, and practically screaming. All of the above. She just kept holding her hand to her heart and crying/laughing. It wasn''t so much because of the ring, she said, but because she was so touched that I wanted to her to have something as nice as I did when I got engaged. I am so glad I gave it to her...I never regretted spending the money once.

I love my cushion to bits. And I love the setting, even though it''s totally untraditional for a cushion. Really, most people think it''s a princess, but that doesn''t bother me. I loved the setting for a princess but loved the pattern facets of the cushion, so I just went that route. I''m the only one who obsessively stares at my ring and gets joy from all the kite facets anyway. The rest of my friends/family are quite normal.

 

[Hera]

lucystar,
when I say, "even when it was 1 carat" I just meant "smaller than what I have now" Size is a personal and relative subject. There's always going to be people who think your diamond (not to mean yours specifically) is small. There's people that think a 1.5 diamond is small, a 2 carat is small and I bet there's people who think a 3 carat is small. It just matters what You think. Your diamond is beautiful, and just in case you want a little bigger of a beautiful diamnd one day, it's just a paycheck away.

 

[HollyS]

Date: 8/28/2007 5:41:51 PM
Author: luckystar112
So I guess the verdict is in? 1ct is small?

First we have incmisirlou saying that she overhead someone bragging about their diamond when it was only 1ct, and then we have heraanderson saying that no one commented on how small her diamond was, even when it was 1ct. (Note: I don''t think either of them were being snobby or malicious! So please don''t think that.

)

LOL. Now I see why DSS happens so quickly on pricescope. I need to go back to my pre-pricescope days when I thought 2ct diamonds were reserved for celebrities and royalty.

I know that 1ct is in no way large by pricescope standards, but I think it''s probably still larger than a good 75% of the population or more, yes? It''s certainly bigger than average where FI and I are from originally...although about average for people in TX, but probably below average for girls my age in TX.

I''m totally overthinking this, aren''t I? I think it would be extremely immature of me to let myself become insecure about this. A large diamond is nice, but not important in the scheme of things. What matters is me and FI and what the ring represents. Besides, at least I can say it''s more sparkly than the average diamond you see on the street.

One carat is bigger than average in most places and for most people. Some of the PS folks live in more wealthy or sophisticated regions of the country -- and their diamonds and tastes reflect that. The majority of Americans are middle class, even if a lot of us are educated middle class. Anything too much larger than a 1 ct might appear at odds with our surroundings and people will notice and comment. One older gentleman at church has commented more than once about "my rock"; and he''s not being snide, he''s rather amused. (Mine is a .92 with a pave halo.)

The only thing that matters is the love between the giver and the receiver. Dave knows I would have married him with a plain band and no diamond, and I suspect that many of you on this board would have done the very same with your guy. This board is just a place for us to satisfy the bling lust that lurks in all of us, even if we would never consider an upgrade of the original. But, I''m telling ya -- that new Tacori with the baguettes and pave around the center stone makes me go "yummmm".