waitin is making me crazy

[jones_poet]

Hi ladies!!!!
im new to this. I am in such a panic. My bf is my best friend of 3 yrs. We have been really dating for 7 mos. We have been talking about marriage and even started looking at rings. I was akay until his mother told me about 2 mos ago that the ring i fell in love with he was going to get me. She also told me that he has been talking to her about marrriage and stuff. She is a wedding planner and filling my head with engagement and weddings and children and everything. Now im crazy, i constantly cry and expect that every occassion he will propose. just recently i found out that there was a good chance he was but now he not b/c he says he feel that i expect it so much that it will be impossible to surprise me. he says he just want to give me the ring and not do anything special b/c im impatient. I don''t know what to do, i have been dropping hint, and this is driving him crazy..... i want to stop but don''t know how to wait and what ot do with this time while i wait.... he says if i just back off he will go for it, but somebody please tell me how to WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Mara]

well sounds like he told you what he wants, which is you to back off so he can plan...now is a good time to start learning about patience... you will need it later in marriage...

good luck!

 

[blodthecat]

If you back off.......it will happen sooooo much quicker.....right?

 

[bee*]

Just do your best not to mention it to him-I find myself wanting to bring it up sometimes but I just have to reign myself back in and not say anything-it will come quicker to you if you dont hint or mention it to him

 

[jones_poet]

this is true, i need to back off and being aable to talk about how i feel inside is such a help!! thank you

 

[jones_poet]

i hope so, im just so scared i''ve hurt his feelings about just trying to propose, he really doesn''t feels like "wats the point" b/c he feels he will never be able to surprise me. now that i can talk about my feelings , waitin will be bettter and hopefully it will happen sooner,, thanks

 

[jones_poet]

thank you, it''s comforting to know im not the only one going through this, thank you

 

[ladykemma]

there''s that surprise thing again. why does it need to be a surprise?

 

[anchor31]

Welcome to the LIWs!! Do you want to be added to the List?

Calm down, girl, it''s the only advice I can give you. Distract yourself by taking up a hobby, spend time with your friends and family... Freaking out won''t help.

Good luck, and keep us posted!

 

[jones_poet]

i know ..... Why????????

 

[jones_poet]

yeah add me to the list, and thanksxxss

 

[ephemery1]

I think the hardest part about the waiting process for me was that when I feel strongly about something (like becoming a fiancee!), I want to talk about it with my best friend... and since that person just happened to be my boyfriend... that talking ended up being REALLY counter-productive!!

Also, I think a lot of us here are used to being strong, independent women... and it can be hard to relinquish control over such a very important thing! But it can be done... like Mara said, you may as well look at this as an exercise in patience. And though not all of us girls agree with the guys about surprise being necessary for a proposal, look at it this way: you end up with a gorgeous ring and a great fiance... so if planning the "perfect proposal" is important to him, you may as well let him have his fun too. Good luck and keep posting... we''ll help get you through it!!

 

[jones_poet]

well ladies im doing much better now!!!! I am involved with other things. He is coming home from Wiscousin, and he is very excited about coming home. Im trying not to think that this will be "it"!!! Even though he is sayin stuff tha can make a girl think. Im tryin not to, im tryin to be cool!!! I''ll tell you how things go ... thanks again ladies>>>>>>>>

 

[bee*]

hope it goes well for you!