Wanting but Waiting...

[Elmorton]

Aviastar -thanks for the support. I just don't know why my gut is telling me. I think sometimes when I accept that I'm finally open to change, I just want to rush it instead of letting things happen. The fact that DH, who knows me better than myself sometimes, is putting on the brakes a little makes me want to proceed with caution, but then I just feel ready, so I have that push pull. Nope - everything at my exam was normal, other than weight. In terms of family history, my parents tried for me for over a year (mom was 31), and my mom's second pregnancy was a miscarriage at about 6 mos when she was 34 or 35. I shared this with the doc who didn't seem to think these facts alone really point to infertility issues.

Stacy, I know - those kicks of "Whee! Let's do this!!" can be so hard to ignore. I wish I could be more chill about it, but it's not in my wiring. Thanks for all your kind words. It sounds like you are ntnp?

aviastar, In terms of timing - I don't want to be leaving work or just returning (I will have 12 weeks leave) any time between mid-August and November - it's crazy then both for me and my students. By the beginning of January, it calms down a ton, so taking leave or returning wouldn't be as stressful.

Can I ask about your midwife? Do you see her instead of an OB for your yearly, etc? What is she like - more holistic approach or medical?

And in regard to the gardening - woo, that's a lot of land!! Yesterday I was thinking about how much I couldn't wait to plant tomatoes, but today we have 6 inches of snow... Jealous of anyone who can see green outside of their window today.

Tammy, thank you so much for the thoughtful the reply. You voiced exactly what my head is trying to tell me and big congrats to you!!!

 

[amc80]

Elmorton- I'd wait and start TTC on your trip. My morning sickness kicked in right at 6 weeks and lasted until 16 weeks. I felt horrible pretty much every day for those 10 weeks, like I was constantly sea sick. If I were you, I'd want to enjoy the trip. Like Tammy said, you'll want to be able to eat and drink freely without worrying about every little thing (unpasteurized cheese comes to mind, since I think it's fairly common in Europe). Plus (God forbid) if something goes wrong, it's likely to happen right around weeks 5-7, and it would be terrible to have to be dealing with that on your trip.

I also think it's a bit weird that your doctor said what she did. We started TTC when we were both 31 and had absolutely no issues...got pregnant the first time trying. Getting off the pill a few months in advance (and starting prenatals) isn't a bad idea, though.

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Avia - For such a big house, we're in the 'city' area of our little town so we only have about a half acre..maybe. We're just going to do a vegetable garden this year and it'll be our first in this house. I am so excited! This year we're going to keep it simple with tomatoes, peppers, a bunch of herbs, zucchini and squash and a few others than I'm forgetting. I would love to do the little beds out front (probably 3 feet deep and 15 feet long) with some flowers, but I haven't decided on this just yet.

Elmorton - Based on your update, have you considered finding another doctor? It doesn't sound like they listen to you well, so that would be the first sign to get the heck out! Besides, like a few others have mentioned, you do know your own body better than anyone else! I like what Avia and Tammy have said about focusing on weight loss for now and then getting started after you know that the timing will work for you, work-wise. Oh and yes, we are ntnp, which is king of exciting!

 

[aviastar]

Sure, elmorton! I've only been to see the midwife once, so it's all pretty new to me, too. I've seen a NP for everything since I was about 18; she took care of my annuals and everything. And I love her, but she don't know nuthin about birthin no babies
So when DH and I worked out our timeline this year, I started thinking about finding an actual OB to see; I know people do it all the time, but I don't like the idea of trying to find a practice you like after getting pregnant- I wanted to already be a patient.

So I asked around for recommendations and the midwives practice came up a lot; it was something I was interested in anyway so I made a well woman/pre-TTC appointment and it as great! This practice has several midwives who are all Certified Nurse Midwives, it's required in my state and it means they are all Nurse Practicitioners, too, so they can write perscriptions, handle all your annual care. They deliver at my local hospital, they don't actually attend homebirths, and there is an OB practice they work closely with so if you turn out to be high risk or need medical intervention during labor there is no delay in care.

Yes, I think it's a holistic approach in that I felt I was really being listened to at my appointment. There's definitely an emphasis on vaginal delivery because they don't perform sections, but epidurals are requested by about 50% of their patients. Their c-section rate is only about 11%, which I thought was great. The hospital itself is very pro-patient and breastfeeding friendly, and the midwives get to stay with you the whole time you labor instead of an OB who pops in for checks and delivery.

I asked a lot of questions at my appointment and my midwife was great about taking the time to listen and answer; they offer all the same testing and ultrasounds as an OB. For me, I felt it was a really good fit and a nice balance of available technology and intervention without an intervention agenda. I'm not dead set on any specific birth plan, although I lean towards less intervention, and I think the midwives will be great about being flexible as things develop, both during pregnancy and labor.

 

[aviastar]

Yea, this property is going to be a labor of love. Probably a lifetime labor I know what I want it all to look like, and in my head, it's this gorgeous, lush garden with whimsical surprises, and unexpected nooks and crannies. In real life, it's about half snaggly woods and half fenced lawn and that's it

Stacy, get your veggies in this year, but don't discount how much fun flowers can be! Then we can trade bulbs and cuttings! Haha, I talk a big game, but my garden is in it's infancy, too. I have a wonderful cousin who is a master gardner who is my enabler; we'll see if I can actually live up to everything I have planned!

Don't be too jealous, el- we've got green today, but 12+ inches called for starting tonight.

amc- did you just start a garden thread over in hangout? I think we must all be nesting; itching to plant things and make them grow...

 

[amc80]

amc- did you just start a garden thread over in hangout? I think we must all be nesting; itching to plant things and make them grow...

I did! But no nesting for me...B just started sleeping through the night...I'm not ready for a newborn yet!

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Yea, this property is going to be a labor of love. Probably a lifetime labor I know what I want it all to look like, and in my head, it's this gorgeous, lush garden with whimsical surprises, and unexpected nooks and crannies. In real life, it's about half snaggly woods and half fenced lawn and that's it

Stacy, get your veggies in this year, but don't discount how much fun flowers can be! Then we can trade bulbs and cuttings! Haha, I talk a big game, but my garden is in it's infancy, too. I have a wonderful cousin who is a master gardner who is my enabler; we'll see if I can actually live up to everything I have planned!

Don't be too jealous, el- we've got green today, but 12+ inches called for starting tonight.

amc- did you just start a garden thread over in hangout? I think we must all be nesting; itching to plant things and make them grow...

Ok, you've got me excited about flowers! I think our little front area can really be spruced up with some fun flowers! DH is such a bachelor at heart and has done nothing withe that are, un, ever! With the wedding last year, gardening was the last thing on my mind. I TOTALLY agree that we're all nesting lol...Now I want to plant stuff outside AND have a little one firmly planted in the tummy!

So, it's looking gross out in the slushy snow, but I expected more when I woke up. Granted, it's still early. Avia, how is it near you? Anyone else getting hit? It hasn't stopped snowing at all though. I woke up at 3:20am (for some unknown reason) and immediately went to the window to check things out lol..big kid at heart!

 

[aviastar]

It's pelting down. I don't think we're well and truly snowed in yet, but the driveway would take some shoveling I think. There are cars on the road, but that's not totally fair cause we live on an emergency evac route so it gets plowed often and early.

Still have power and internet, though, so I'm grateful! The pups will have a blast...

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

It goes from soft to hard here. Its mostly slushy outside, so I'm thankful to be hanging out in my pjs, working form home today! Woohoo!

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Sooo...anyone thinking about starting to ttc TODAY during the snow storm (if you're in the blizzard area)??

 

[amc80]

I don't live in THE blizzard area, but did wake up to a surprise snowstorm. Ick.

 

[aviastar]

Sooo...anyone thinking about starting to ttc TODAY during the snow storm (if you're in the blizzard area)??

Weeellllll, I did put the fancy sheets on the bed last night...

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Sooo...anyone thinking about starting to ttc TODAY during the snow storm (if you're in the blizzard area)??

Weeellllll, I did put the fancy sheets on the bed last night...

YEAH!!! You should make it happen! I think I'm getting AF today, or I know I would be..ugh!

 

[tammy77]

Sooo...anyone thinking about starting to ttc TODAY during the snow storm (if you're in the blizzard area)??

Weeellllll, I did put the fancy sheets on the bed last night...

YEAH!!! You should make it happen! I think I'm getting AF today, or I know I would be..ugh!

Well maybe AF won't show up!!

 

[lliang_chi]

Hi ladies, I'm slowly warming up to the idea of wanting #2, but we just got Ethan sleeping through the night, so I'm really hoping to enjoy this a little before getting on that horse again. But I'm happy to see some of the same mamas in these parts talking about #2 also. DH and I just had this discussion and we concluded that our ideal age gap would be between 24 & 42 months. I would like Ethan to have a sibling closer in age, but I'm personally not ready for it yet. However, I think I might be closer to that towards the end of summer/early fall. In the meanwhile, I've been looking @ where we'd move to (schools, commute etc). DH does not want to stay in our 2 bedroom condo when we're having a 2nd.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Stacy, I'm in new england so we're getting some snow and I got a + on my OPK this morning, so I'll be ovulating. Just not quite ready to TTC, but it sure is hard passing up the opportunity when I know I'm ovulating. I just have to look at my long list of things I want to get done before TTC...maybe I can cross some of THOSE things off the list if I'm snowed in.

 

[megumic]

Stacy, I'm in new england so we're getting some snow and I got a + on my OPK this morning, so I'll be ovulating. Just not quite ready to TTC, but it sure is hard passing up the opportunity when I know I'm ovulating. I just have to look at my long list of things I want to get done before TTC...maybe I can cross some of THOSE things off the list if I'm snowed in.

LOL NEL, what kind of things are on your to do list before TTC??? Just curious, as I don't have a list, but maybe I need one....

 

[amc80]

LOL NEL, what kind of things are on your to do list before TTC??? Just curious, as I don't have a list, but maybe I need one....

I'm curious too! Well, I guess I have two things- lose baby weight and go on our November cruise.

 

[megumic]

LOL NEL, what kind of things are on your to do list before TTC??? Just curious, as I don't have a list, but maybe I need one....

I'm curious too! Well, I guess I have two things- lose baby weight and go on our November cruise.

Amc, I JUST got back to prebaby weight. Can't believe it took 6 months, and still some stuff doesn't fit. A true testament that your body does just change. Of course I could still stand to lose a few more lbs, so yeah, there's that.

 

[amc80]

Amc, I JUST got back to prebaby weight. Can't believe it took 6 months, and still some stuff doesn't fit. A true testament that your body does just change. Of course I could still stand to lose a few more lbs, so yeah, there's that.

Wow great job! I have 10ish lbs but another 20 of "skinny husband weight."

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Tammy - I may or may not have taken advantage of the hubs yesterday afternoon

NEL - I totally understand the 'to-do' list! I'm also curious as to what is on yours!

Meg and Amc - I think I could stand to lose 5-10 lbs before baby. I don't really need to, but I think I'd like to. I've been doing yoga though and trying to be more active, which is just awesome, regardless if there is any weight loss.

 

[aviastar]

LC- we've got space issues, too, but we're here to stay. I talked to the contractor who helped us restore the house the other day about the eventual addition and he said just start dreaming; make a list of wants/needs, collect pictures and sketches, and when it's time he'll go through our lists with us and let us know what's do-able, reasonable, affordable, etc. Pintrest is now getting a hardy workout around here...

I'm with you Stacy, I have lost about 5 lbs since fall, which is great and even better, my back and neck feel much better since I started the aqua class, but I've kinda plateaued I think. I don't need to lose weight, but I was hoping to be in much better shape before getting pregnant- stronger, better endurance. It's not the number on the scale I am worried about, it's my stupid flabby tummy that just won't get flatter! So I've added another class to my week and promised myself I will get out my ballet workout on my off days much more often. We eat pretty well, always cook at home, protein and veggies with every meal, and I am much better about cooking the right portions for only two people now, so we don't over eat as much. But I've decided to try and curtail my soda drinking :le sigh:, it's my only vice, and I do love it , but it's the only thing I think I can reasonably restrict in my diet that will make a difference.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

My pre-TTC projects are all home-related. I'm painting a bunch of rooms and can only work on them after K goes to bed, so the progress is slow-going. I'll also be moving K into a new bedroom when we have another baby and her new room needs a little work (there is this awful texture on the walls), so I'd like to get a contractor in to finish up that stuff before being pregnant. I just don't want to be doing all this painting when I'm pregnant becaues I'll be too sick and exhausted to get it done.

Ugh, the baby weight. Everybody told me it takes a year to start feeling like yourself again and that was true for me. Everything pre-baby fits, but my stomach is just not as flat as it used to be. And I swear that my boobs are actually smaller than they were pre-baby...that's the only thing on my body that seems to have snapped back into shape. Annoying.

We just booked our annual family beach vacation for September and part of me would like to enjoy it without being pregnant and the other part of me wants to be in my second trimester by then so that I'm not sick or have that weird is-she-bloated-or-pregant look.

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Oh housework, you get in the way of many ladies who are wanting to start ttc! Gah!

Avia, yeah the scale doesn't mean as much as how I feel. I actually don't want to lose many inches, just tone up a bit. Porbbaly pizza and beer won't help with that, but a girl does have to splurge every now and then! The things that helps me drink more water (less soda) are: 1) We have a brita and it's amazing! 2) I bought a $12 refillable water bottle and I use it every single day! 3) I buy the 4C brand for zero calorie flavor packets. Seriously, it really helps! I'm not a big water drinker, but with the flavors, I'm good to go! I do drink soda on occasion, but it's more of a 'special' out to dinner drink and we don't normally keep any in the house.

NEL - I totally understand wanting more of the big jobs done before being exhausted with baby #2 on the way. Good luck with that! Oh and I absolutely adore seeing pregnant bellies in bikinis!!

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

Hello ladies! My DH and I have recently nailed down (haha) a timeline for when we will start TTC. It's still a ways off (2 years) but we feel good having a goal. The only thing keeping us from TTC now is that we are still paying down loads of student loan debt and living very frugally until we are in a better place financially. We most likely won't be finished paying all of our debt down by then either but we will be in a much better place than we are now. I am 27, DH is 28 and we've been married almost 5 years. We have promised each other we will TTC in two years no matter what, can't keep putting these things off, it may never be the "right" time to have a baby.

So while TTC is a ways off we have time to prepare ourselves for what will be the biggest change for us. Besides paying off debt we are both getting into a healthier lifestyle and trying to be more productive in general. I am also buttering up my Mom to help with watching the future grandchild since any type of daycare here is so expensive (NY, Long Island). It would also be nice to not be renting by then, housing is so expensive here that we will be looking into condos or buying a home that has a rental unit to offset the insane taxes. So many things to work our heads around!

I have implanon as my BC and it needs to be changed out this June, I'm getting it changed out and replaced with the newer explanon which is also good for three years. I like it because when we do decided to TTC I can just have it taken out anytime and you begin your normal cycle right away with no residual hormone effects. It's nice to have a place just to write this all out. All of our friends are married as well and no one has children yet, my best friend never wants any so I have to get this out somewhere! I'm sure I'll be back as events progress!

 

[lliang_chi]

AsscherHalo_lover (AH_L), what is implanon and explanon? I get they're a type of birth control (hormonal?), but can you tell me a little more about it? I got a Mirena 6 wks after Ethan was born. I'm happy with it but had to go that route because we were breastfeeding and I was only able to get progesterone only birth control.

Re: the pre-TTC home stuff: I hear you ladies! Well, 1st off to repair all the dry wall damage & repaint. I also am taking the opportunity to redecorate my living room (and the master too). But then there's the whole selling this place and buying an actual house thing too, so I guess that's also a "need to do" home thing. I'm kinda jealous of you ladies that already are in the home you're going to have your kiddos because you don't need to sweat moving.

~LC

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

Implanon/explanon is a progesterone implant that goes under the skin on the inside of your right upper arm. It's the size of a matchstick. The only difference between the two is that explanon uses a device for insertion (like an ear piercing gun) and the older implanon was done manually. They use a local anesthetic and I had no pain or discomfort. I prefer it over and IUD because I fear IUD complications and I can touch my implanon and know where it is. Peace of mind for me. I have been very happy with it and plan to use it for BC until we are done having children. DH has agreed to a vasectomy after that so no more hormones for me once that's done

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

How does Mirena work?

AHL- Welcome! I think waiting to get some things paid off is smart, but I totally agree that you shouldn't wait forever. You never know, you may want to bump up your time frame

I just found out another fb friend is pregnant. This makes 6 since January...sadly, 2 of the 6 have miscarried

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

How does Mirena work?

AHL- Welcome! I think waiting to get some things paid off is smart, but I totally agree that you shouldn't wait forever. You never know, you may want to bump up your time frame

I just found out another fb friend is pregnant. This makes 6 since January...sadly, 2 of the 6 have miscarried

It would take one hell of a raise to bump up the time frame, lol. It's def a wait and see situation.

 

[lliang_chi]

Stacy, Mirena is a IUD that delivers a very low dose of progestrone. It's inserted in your OB's (or midwife) office and lasts 5 years. It's immediately effective (i.e. insert and go home and have unprotected sex) and the lose dosage (my hopes) should mean that it'll be less hormones to exit my system when we do start TTC for #2.