Wanting but Waiting...

[gem_anemone]

Asscherhalo - I know how you feel about the best friend thing because my best friend also doesn't want any kids. I think it's going to be hard on her when hubby and I have ours. I believe she has already been favoring our other friends without kids. I can't really talk to her about it. I have one friend in real life who knows our expected timeline, but other than her I have not been sharing with anyone. Not even my mom and I tell her pretty much everything! Who knows what could happen. Especially with Stacy pointing out that 1/3 of her pregnant friends miscarried. That's scary!

Ladies I have also been noticing that people in my life have started mentioning events going on in fall and winter. I have been really noncommittal to everything I've been invited to because all I can think is that I will possibly be pregnant! Anyone else having to dodge questions? Lol. The hubs had to admit to his FBIL that I may not be able to attend a cruise wedding my hubby's sister and he are planning for Feb. 2014. I'm supposed to be in the wedding party. Ugh!!! And I don't even want to think about having to travel with a newborn of they postpone it. Looks like I'll be staying home regardless. They keep postponing the wedding and changing the location. Originally it was Sept this year at home and I thought...first trimester, NBD but now a cruise in the second or third is not possible. Meh.

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Especially with Stacy pointing out that 1/3 of her pregnant friends miscarried. That's scary!

Ladies I have also been noticing that people in my life have started mentioning events going on in fall and winter. I have been really noncommittal to everything I've been invited to because all I can think is that I will possibly be pregnant! Anyone else having to dodge questions? Lol. The hubs had to admit to his FBIL that I may not be able to attend a cruise wedding my hubby's sister and he are planning for Feb. 2014. I'm supposed to be in the wedding party. Ugh!!! And I don't even want to think about having to travel with a newborn of they postpone it. Looks like I'll be staying home regardless. They keep postponing the wedding and changing the location. Originally it was Sept this year at home and I thought...first trimester, NBD but now a cruise in the second or third is not possible. Meh.

Gem, I have really been freaking out about this! This is EXACTLY why we wouldn't be telling people until I'm at least 12 weeks in. I would be petrified that we will be so happy and announce and then something happen and we are so let down! I keep telling DH about it because he thinks I worry a lot. Well I do, but for good reason.

I have a few friends who don't have children, but really only 2 people that I'm really close with. The rest have at least one, so I'm lagging behind lol...I'm actually happy that I'll be able to seek advice from a few of my ladies, but I have always felt a little behind schedule. But I do think that I've gotten to do a lot more than most of them, so I feel good about my choices.

I have also been worried about time frames, so it isn't just you, Gem. I keep thinking 'hmm...can we go on this trip or will I be too far along to enjoy?'

 

[aviastar]

Hi gem!!

Yes, and it's hard because I don't want to borrow trouble and be like 'oh yea, def can't do than I'll be x moths pregnant!!' cause what if you aren't?

So mostly, I am just being non-committal. I've been asked to keep some time open to go out for a show a local theater group is putting on in the fall and to go ahead and RSVP (what?!? like 10 months in advance?) to another historical re-enactment. But I just keep saying, that we're so busy, I've got in on my calendar, but I just can't commit this far ahead of time, we'll see...when really what I am thinking is that historical costuming (i.e. corsets) just ARE NOT going to happen if I am at all pregnant.

I haven't told anyone our exact plans. My mom knows it's coming but no specifics.

 

[aviastar]

Especially with Stacy pointing out that 1/3 of her pregnant friends miscarried. That's scary!

Ladies I have also been noticing that people in my life have started mentioning events going on in fall and winter. I have been really noncommittal to everything I've been invited to because all I can think is that I will possibly be pregnant! Anyone else having to dodge questions? Lol. The hubs had to admit to his FBIL that I may not be able to attend a cruise wedding my hubby's sister and he are planning for Feb. 2014. I'm supposed to be in the wedding party. Ugh!!! And I don't even want to think about having to travel with a newborn of they postpone it. Looks like I'll be staying home regardless. They keep postponing the wedding and changing the location. Originally it was Sept this year at home and I thought...first trimester, NBD but now a cruise in the second or third is not possible. Meh.

Gem, I have really been freaking out about this! This is EXACTLY why we wouldn't be telling people until I'm at least 12 weeks in. I would be petrified that we will be so happy and announce and then something happen and we are so let down! I keep telling DH about it because he thinks I worry a lot. Well I do, but for good reason.

I have a few friends who don't have children, but really only 2 people that I'm really close with. The rest have at least one, so I'm lagging behind lol...I'm actually happy that I'll be able to seek advice from a few of my ladies, but I have always felt a little behind schedule. But I do think that I've gotten to do a lot more than most of them, so I feel good about my choices.

I have also been worried about time frames, so it isn't just you, Gem. I keep thinking 'hmm...can we go on this trip or will I be too far along to enjoy?'

I know it will be different when actually ARE pregnant, but at the moment, I am seriously considering not making any sort of 'official' announcement, Facebook or otherwise, ever. We're fairly private people in general, and we've already discussed a no kids pictures on the internet policy; don't know that we'll really be able to stick to that, but we want to be very careful about it. My SIL is ...an enthusiastic Facebooker, to say the least, and we had to ask her in advance to not post anything about our wedding until we did- she would have been posting real time photos as we exchanged rings if we'd let her! It really bothers me, it feels so invasive (there have been other Facebook issues that I have had to ask her to calm down, too- not exactly the friendly brand new SIL chat you want to have!), so we're going to have to police the kid-related stuff heavily and early, I fear. Boundaries, people, boundaries!

 

[amc80]

Ladies I have also been noticing that people in my life have started mentioning events going on in fall and winter. I have been really noncommittal to everything I've been invited to because all I can think is that I will possibly be pregnant! Anyone else having to dodge questions? Lol. The hubs had to admit to his FBIL that I may not be able to attend a cruise wedding my hubby's sister and he are planning for Feb. 2014. I'm supposed to be in the wedding party. Ugh!!! And I don't even want to think about having to travel with a newborn of they postpone it. Looks like I'll be staying home regardless. They keep postponing the wedding and changing the location. Originally it was Sept this year at home and I thought...first trimester, NBD but now a cruise in the second or third is not possible. Meh.

Well, the "good news" is you won't have to worry about traveling with a newborn, because babies have to be 6 months to cruise (and sometimes 12 months, depending on the line/itinerary). And you can't be more than 24 weeks during any point of the cruise.

But here's the thing- there will ALWAYS be something. Don't plan your life around others' plans....if you did, you'd never find time to have a baby!

AFM- I'm VERY slowly warming up to the idea of another baby. I'm starting to get excited about the "fun" parts of pregnancy- seeing the two lines, hearing the heartbeat for the first time, finding out the sex, etc. I'm not even thinking about the unfun parts- morning sickness, stress, feeling like a cow, preterm contractions, etc. But seriously, it's progress.

 

[gem_anemone]

But here's the thing- there will ALWAYS be something. Don't plan your life around others' plans....if you did, you'd never find time to have a baby!

AFM- I'm VERY slowly warming up to the idea of another baby. I'm starting to get excited about the "fun" parts of pregnancy- seeing the two lines, hearing the heartbeat for the first time, finding out the sex, etc. I'm not even thinking about the unfun parts- morning sickness, stress, feeling like a cow, preterm contractions, etc. But seriously, it's progress.

Glad to hear you're getting excited about #2! It just goes to show that all the unfun things about pregnancy are totally worth it

I know I can't plan TTC around others. The thing is that I did set the July TTC date with SIL's wedding in mind, but now that she's changed the date the plan doesn't work. It's super annoying to me that people just throw out wedding dates and then change them. My brother did the same thing for his wedding and ended up postponing it to within months of my wedding. I mean it ended up not being a huge deal, but DH and I waited to get engaged specifically so we did not get married the same year and then it happened that way anyway. I don't know. Maybe I expect to much of people! Lol!

 

[gem_anemone]

Hi gem!!

Yes, and it's hard because I don't want to borrow trouble and be like 'oh yea, def can't do than I'll be x moths pregnant!!' cause what if you aren't?

Yes!! This is the annoying part! There's like a small window where you are able to tell people why you won't be doing things because for me I'm not planning to announce close friends and family until at least after the first trimester. And I'm with you on the Facebook announcing. I am on FB, but I'm not sure when I would be comfortable making a post about it to non-close friends and family. Then again there will always be friends who post on your page and do the announcing for you...

This is kind of unrelated, but I had a friend who did a gender reveal party. All the pics were on FB. They even went so far as to pick baby names for both genders. Maybe I'm a jerk, but it irritated me so much. It was like they claimed a baby name for a baby they didn't even have.

 

[gem_anemone]

Especially with Stacy pointing out that 1/3 of her pregnant friends miscarried. That's scary!

Ladies I have also been noticing that people in my life have started mentioning events going on in fall and winter. I have been really noncommittal to everything I've been invited to because all I can think is that I will possibly be pregnant! Anyone else having to dodge questions? Lol. The hubs had to admit to his FBIL that I may not be able to attend a cruise wedding my hubby's sister and he are planning for Feb. 2014. I'm supposed to be in the wedding party. Ugh!!! And I don't even want to think about having to travel with a newborn of they postpone it. Looks like I'll be staying home regardless. They keep postponing the wedding and changing the location. Originally it was Sept this year at home and I thought...first trimester, NBD but now a cruise in the second or third is not possible. Meh.

Gem, I have really been freaking out about this! This is EXACTLY why we wouldn't be telling people until I'm at least 12 weeks in. I would be petrified that we will be so happy and announce and then something happen and we are so let down! I keep telling DH about it because he thinks I worry a lot. Well I do, but for good reason.

I have a few friends who don't have children, but really only 2 people that I'm really close with. The rest have at least one, so I'm lagging behind lol...I'm actually happy that I'll be able to seek advice from a few of my ladies, but I have always felt a little behind schedule. But I do think that I've gotten to do a lot more than most of them, so I feel good about my choices.

I have also been worried about time frames, so it isn't just you, Gem. I keep thinking 'hmm...can we go on this trip or will I be too far along to enjoy?'

Don't worry! I have always even behind too. College grad at 27, married at 32, and a kid at likely 34. Lol oh well. We all move at our own pace

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Gem, I kind of like moving at my own pace! It just means we don't follow the crowd lol

Amc, that is awesome! I'm glad you're getting excited about things! I'm thankful to hear that you're willing to go through the not so awesome things again, as the baby is totally worth it in the end We want more than one kiddo, so I'm hoping for not terrible pregnancies..but doesn't everyone want that?!

 

[monkeyprincess]

AFM- I'm VERY slowly warming up to the idea of another baby. I'm starting to get excited about the "fun" parts of pregnancy- seeing the two lines, hearing the heartbeat for the first time, finding out the sex, etc. I'm not even thinking about the unfun parts- morning sickness, stress, feeling like a cow, preterm contractions, etc. But seriously, it's progress.

Ha ha, I'm sort of in the same boat. I'm definitely romanticizing all the magical things and forgetting the negative things. Actually though, my pregnancy was relatively easy, and I only got really uncomfortable in that last month. It is more the having trouble conceiving and potentially having another "high needs" baby and feeling overwhelmed that scares me. Even so, I cannot wait to experience it all again.

I sometimes fantasize that I could be re-pregnant with Ellie, knowing it was her. Does that make sense? Now that I know how much I adore the girl, it would be great to relive her pregnancy.

Yes! I think about this a lot, and I'm glad I'm not the only one. I feel like I would really connect with him now in a way I couldn't before, you know? I remember how right after he was born I would watch his little movements, and I could totally picture what he must have been doing inside me and why I felt the weird little movements. Maybe our second pregnancies will be different now that we know just how much we love our little munchkins.

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Did we ever start a TTC timeline for us WBW ladies? If not, we should definitely do so! I like seeing things written out so we can 'check them off' as we go!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

osu922, December
icekid, January
aviastar, April
NewEnglandLady, May
honey22, July
gem_anemone, July
nysurg, August
StacylikesSparkles, September
Blacksand, October

Just reviewing and updating- am I missing anyone? icekid- officially started? Congrats! osu22- I'm following along in the TTC thread, sticky dust to you and all the other ladies over there!

Updates anyone? nysurg- how are you doing overseas? Staying safe and busy?

Aviastar put this one together back in January. Not sure if there are updates. Mine is still May, though I may end up wanting to wait until the fall. I was pregnant the summer of 2011 and still had my baby weight the summer of 2012. I really would like one relaxing summer before doing it all again. We'll see.

 

[megumic]

Okay, I will officially add myself and say that unofficially we will start trying again this Fall. Let's go with November to play it safe. I really liked having a summer baby and would do it again, which means conceiving sometime Sept through Dec. Also, we'd like the beans about two years a part. C was conceived over Thanksgiving 2011, so we might target around that time again with #2 as well. We will see!

osu922, December
icekid, January
aviastar, April
NewEnglandLady, May
honey22, July
gem_anemone, July
nysurg, August
StacylikesSparkles, September
Blacksand, October
Megumic, November

 

[tammy77]

Delurking to say that Osu and Icekid are already pregnant! Av, you're on deck!

 

[aviastar]

Delurking to say that Osu and Icekid are already pregnant! Av, you're on deck!

You better believe it! 16 days till it's official! Let's keep the lucky '13 magic going!

aviastar, April
NewEnglandLady, May
honey22, July
gem_anemone, July
nysurg, August
StacylikesSparkles, September
Blacksand, October
Megumic, November

Hey Stacy- how should note NTNP? Cause you've kinda already started...

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Delurking to say that Osu and Icekid are already pregnant! Av, you're on deck!

You better believe it! 16 days till it's official! Let's keep the lucky '13 magic going!

aviastar, April
NewEnglandLady, May
honey22, July
gem_anemone, July
nysurg, August
StacylikesSparkles, September
Blacksand, October
Megumic, November

Hey Stacy- how should note NTNP? Cause you've kinda already started...

Yay for lucky '13!! Hmm...well I have no idea lol Let's maybe put May? I seriously think I can talk him into officially starting to try then. Its funny because everyday he seems more receptive to the idea of being a Dad a little sooner than he originally thought we would. Here is to many romantic weekends of NTNP so we can become parents! He does tell me regularly that it would never be a bad thing if we got pregnant ahead of schedule (good thing too, because that tend to happen when you aren't doing much in the way of prevention lmao) and that he is looking forward to being a Dad. Oh man, this is so exciting!!!

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

I don't want to add myself to any list yet since I'm still more than a year away. Good luck to all of you who are going for it soon!

 

[aviastar]

ok, Ladies, I'm out! Cycle Day 1 for me, so I am heading over to the TTC thread for realz this time!

Hope to see you all over there soon- where our stays will be short and then we'll all hang out in the preggo threads!

 

[tammy77]

ok, Ladies, I'm out! Cycle Day 1 for me, so I am heading over to the TTC thread for realz this time!

Hope to see you all over there soon- where our stays will be short and then we'll all hang out in the preggo threads!

Woohoo for officially TTC! I have like 30 wondfo opks left if you want them. Just respond to my Loupe Troope listing that I put up for Bright to give her the royal jelly.

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

ok, Ladies, I'm out! Cycle Day 1 for me, so I am heading over to the TTC thread for realz this time!

Hope to see you all over there soon- where our stays will be short and then we'll all hang out in the preggo threads!

I am so excited to read this!! Good luck and hopefully you will be off that list ASAP!! I seriously almost squealed out loud for you!!!

 

[aviastar]

ok, Ladies, I'm out! Cycle Day 1 for me, so I am heading over to the TTC thread for realz this time!

Hope to see you all over there soon- where our stays will be short and then we'll all hang out in the preggo threads!

Woohoo for officially TTC! I have like 30 wondfo opks left if you want them. Just respond to my Loupe Troope listing that I put up for Bright to give her the royal jelly.

Thanks, Tammy! We're going to try an be fairly laid back about it, so no OPK's for me yet- just lots of BD-ing, which I think is the part DH is most excited about

 

[aviastar]

ok, Ladies, I'm out! Cycle Day 1 for me, so I am heading over to the TTC thread for realz this time!

Hope to see you all over there soon- where our stays will be short and then we'll all hang out in the preggo threads!

I am so excited to read this!! Good luck and hopefully you will be off that list ASAP!! I seriously almost squealed out loud for you!!!

Yea!! DH said this morning, "Just think, this will be your last period for a while and then all you have worry about is being sick all the time." and I was like "DON'T JINX IT, SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"

It's just like you said, men- they think TTC = baby immediately!

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

ok, Ladies, I'm out! Cycle Day 1 for me, so I am heading over to the TTC thread for realz this time!

Hope to see you all over there soon- where our stays will be short and then we'll all hang out in the preggo threads!

I am so excited to read this!! Good luck and hopefully you will be off that list ASAP!! I seriously almost squealed out loud for you!!!

Yea!! DH said this morning, "Just think, this will be your last period for a while and then all you have worry about is being sick all the time." and I was like "DON'T JINX IT, SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"

It's just like you said, men- they think TTC = baby immediately!

Boys lol

 

[lliang_chi]

Hey ladies, Seems like we've gotten pretty quiet here, so I figured I'm should jump on the list. I'm still on birth control so I'm squarely WbW.

~LC

aviastar, April
NewEnglandLady, May
honey22, July
gem_anemone, July
nysurg, August
StacylikesSparkles, September
Blacksand, October
Megumic, November
lliang_chi (LC), October

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Hey ladies, Seems like we've gotten pretty quiet here, so I figured I'm should jump on the list. I'm still on birth control so I'm squarely WbW.

~LC

aviastar, April
NewEnglandLady, May
honey22, July
gem_anemone, July
nysurg, August
StacylikesSparkles, September
Blacksand, October
Megumic, November
lliang_chi (LC), October

I think I started to hear crickets! Thanks for giving a little revive over hear!

I've had a few set backs on my end and in talking with DH, he definitely doesn't want to officially start trying any time soon. I'll leave the September date, but I'm not even 100% sure about that. It's funny because we're not going to change up our routine of NTNP, but to officially say we're trying seems out of reach at the moment. BUT, DH promised me a nice mini kitchen update and he will be finishing the main front room in our house, along with at least one of the bathrooms this year. I'm sad about waiting, but I'm happy about house stuff that is in the works. We're both sick at the moment, so pretty much everything has been on hold for the last week. Scheesh! I'm thinking about hobbies I can start to do to take my mind off of pushing back our ttc timeframe.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

LC, fun to see you on the list!

Fancypants, it's encouraging that your DH is at least on board with NTNP. By September, you may not need to worry about TTC. I was ready for #1 before my husband. I bought a box of condoms and said "when these run out, we're trying. And if you're still scared, I'll poke holes in them." And it's great that all the house stuff is getting done! Ours is almost done. I have painters coming next week to do the rooms I can't get to and I have another couple of weekends left of my own painting. I'll be glad when it's done.

 

[lliang_chi]

FPS wow sounds like you guys have a nice plan for the home reno work. That's awesome. Maybe you can kill some time picking out the finishes etc for the bathroom and kitchen updated. I find it tons of fun. Otherwise for hobbies, what about gardening? It's finally getting nice again (in some parts of the country, not in Chicago yet) so maybe getting outside and enjoying the sunshine will help distract you. And the NTNP is a good plan to ease your DH into officially "all in". And I remember in the TTC days, NEL's DH had the "emergency condom."

NEL, sigh you're totally making me feel bad. I hired someone to paint our living room and master and our place is TINY. I just couldn't be bothered with it, and the price was pretty right. It cost a couple hundred bucks but whatever, I'm not going to sweat it. What is your plan/wish/hope with spacing between K & 2nd?

For me, I'd like to be closer to 2yrs but I just don't think J will be there yet. For the baby to be born when Ethan turns 2 would me we start trying next month. But I really can't see that happening. So I guess I'd have to aim for 2.5 yrs between Ethan & 2nd. J and SIL are 3yrs apart and they absolutely canNOT get along. It'd absolutely break my heart if our kids are the same way. For that reason I'd really prefer having them closer in age. But I can't imagine 12 months (2 yr gap vs 3 yr gap) would make that much of a difference. Perhaps with J and SIL, it's truly a personality thing. That's my hope.

 

[gem_anemone]

Hey all and welcome LC!

Fancy I hope everything turns out how you want it and I hope everything is ok!

I haven't really had much to contribute to this thread because we aren't really doing any baby prep. However we have been talking about it much more and DH seems super excited! Things have been strange at my work which is putting a little stress on us to make some decisions about whether or not to hold off TTC. There are going to be major layoffs in June (go figure). So far we are still targeting July for TTC. The plan is to either have me find a new job (I'm currently searching) or not get laid off. We have our vacation planned for the first week of July and when we come home as long as I have a job we'll start trying! Otherwise I will look for a job and we'll have to wait three months after starting the new job to TTC. So I need job dust! Lol!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

LC, the ONLY reason I'm doing any of the painting myself is because we need 9 rooms painted and I couldn't get a quote for under $10K. So I decided to do half the rooms myself to save money. If I only had to spend a few hundred or few thousand bucks, I would have had the painters tackle it from the get-go. I've been painting every single Friday and Saturday night since January and I'm so sick of it that I never want to see another paint brush again. I'm pretty much the opposite of a DIYer.

I have a feeling that J and his sister don't get along because their personalities are so different and that it has nothing to do with the age gap. A 2.5 or 3 year gap is still really close in age. D is an only child and my older sisters are 7 - 10 years older than I am, so I'm also a bit sensitive to keeping them close in age. D says his ideal is a 3 year gap and I'd like for it to be closer to 2 (hence why we decided that May would be the green light). Honestly, anywhere between a 2 and 3 year gap would be fine with me!

gem, here's hoping that you either keep your job through July or that if you find something, it's very soon so you're not delayed too long. Making a career decision while trying to figure out when to TTC is so tough. I was interviewing a month or two before we started to TTC and everything ended up working out just fine. I have no doubt it will work out fine for you, too. And where is the vacation? That will be great to look forward to!

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

I tell you, DH's are so frustrating lol...last night he told me about 3 times that he just wants to be surprised with a pregnancy and he would be really happy if we got pregnant now. He just doesn't want us to 'plan' anything. Um, that's just stupid lol. Boys I did tell him that using any form of bc during O will not allow for any surprises, so we'll see if he really does want to be surprised or if we'll keep using bc during that time. I'm just frustrated because you can't have it both ways.

NEL, I like your moves! Way to take charge

LC, I want to get more into the remodel before I do most of my searching and deciding. We do plan to hit up Lowe's or HD this weekend to get some gardening stuff (planning to start a vegetable garden, which I'm excited about!) so I will also be checking out paint colors, at the very least I really can't wait to see more progress so I can thrown myself into decorating mode. It'll be a while though since it is only my husband doing the work (he doesn't want me to mess anything up..his words lol)..I'm good at demo though! Also, I think a 2-3 year age gap is pretty perfect! You're not too far apart that they won' have anything in common. I like that.

Gem, thanks! I am trying to figure that man out! He is just a mess Good luck on the job front though! I really hope you either find something amazing or you can stay on at your current place and start ttc in July, as planned!