wedding band woes

[mimzy]

so FI and i went and looked at wedding bands the other day and i am feeling really pretty discouraged. I don''t really want, nor can i afford, the matching beverley k wb that goes with my ering; i want something that coordinates my ering, but isn''t super matchy matchy. BK has some other gorgeous rings that i would LOVE to make my wb, but again, we can''t afford those either

so i am faced with a choice. do i
1) get a plain, rose gold band to wear as my wb, and switch my ering to my other hand. then down the road i will get a new band to wear together with my ering

2)buy a white or rose gold diamond band that is sorta like the ones that i like, but not exactly, and just make it work

3)?????

i''m feeling really discouraged and a pretty disappointed. i want to love my wedding band and wear it every day for the rest of my life...but i know that the likelihood of that happening right away is pretty slim. i know the wb isn''t something that should be skimped, on, but we are already putting so much money into the wedding that we really can''t afford to go over budget (which is about $400 for my ring). of course there is the chance that we might be under budget on other things, but i''m not going to bank on it.

what would you do?

 

[basil]

Without seeing your ring or the rings you''re considering, I''d say skimp on something else in order to get the ring you really want.

When the wedding is over, the ring is one of the things you''ll have left. And if it''s important to you to really love your ring, then that''s what you should have.

 

[decodelighted]

Did you see Vespergirl''s thread about white & rose gold mircopave bands?? Those bands were around $250 each and LOVELY. You could almost buy TWO for your budget ... the company had many other bands too (including a near replica of my own wedding band!)

The other thing I would suggest is ... part time job? Freelance work? My DH picked up some lucrative freelance work in the nick of time to pay for our wedding overages (including the ring I really wanted vs. some other ring). We still talk about what LUCKY timing that was. Wishing you LUCK too!!

 

[monarch64]

Mimzy, great post. I honestly would find another way to skimp on something wedding-related and get the wedding band you really, really want. It's $400 over your budget, right? There HAS to be a way you can cut some corners and come up with the extra money for your BK band. Also, have either of you thought about getting a temporary part time job to come up with additional money? Sign up for focus groups or market research or something, it's not time-consuming and it pays really well. I put in about 2 hours a couple of years ago to do a fun focus group thing and got $100 on the spot for doing it.

ETA: Deco, I was typing while you were posting, I see!

 

[decodelighted]

Here''s the ring ... for reference!

 

[mimzy]

basil - here''s a picture of the ring. so far i''ve skimped on EVERYTHING with the wedding with the exception of my dress (which i spent just a smidge over 1k on and am now regretting

). I''m going to keep trying, but i don''t know where else money might come from...

deco - thanks for the luck! i''ll check out vespers thread. it sounds promising. i can''t get an actual job, but maybe i''ll ask around and see if anyone needs some work done around the house or babysitting or something? i think i might also set up an ebay sellers account to sell some things that might bring in some money that i don''t care about anymore....

here''s a picture of my ering for reference. i meant to attach it to the first post, but i hit submit too soon!

 

[Italiahaircolor]

How low does your ring sit? Please share profile pictures and I would be more than happy to go out and search the web to help you out!

 

[decodelighted]

Couple more ideas ... you could offer to buy the in-house setting at a local jeweler (for a discount) & get it sized .... you could price out a 1/2 eternity version of the band to see if its cheaper .... you could search ebay listings for the band 2nd hand ...

But I like your "sell stuff you don't need on ebay" idea too!

 

[mimzy]

Date: 3/1/2008 11:13:54 PM
Author: monarch64
Mimzy, great post. I honestly would find another way to skimp on something wedding-related and get the wedding band you really, really want. It''s $400 over your budget, right? There HAS to be a way you can cut some corners and come up with the extra money for your BK band. Also, have either of you thought about getting a temporary part time job to come up with additional money? Sign up for focus groups or market research or something, it''s not time-consuming and it pays really well. I put in about 2 hours a couple of years ago to do a fun focus group thing and got $100 on the spot for doing it.


ETA: Deco, I was typing while you were posting, I see!

monarch - the budget for the ring is $400...the BK rings are between 800 and 1.2k OVER that

. i actually did look into the research groups at my school, but they are like $10 an hour for like an hour and half. i''ll try to find out some stuff on market research, etc though, good idea. thank you!

deco - thanks for posting the ring! i meant to do it on the first try, and we posted at the same time!

 

[decodelighted]

NP! I love your ring, BTW ... don''t think I saw it before I went to look for pix! Is it platinum or white gold ... $1200-1600 is ALOT for a white gold ring

. But maybe I''m just cheap/naive!

 

[mimzy]

Date: 3/1/2008 11:18:43 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor
How low does your ring sit? Please share profile pictures and I would be more than happy to go out and search the web to help you out!

italia - thanks! this is the only side view picture i have. it is raised a little bit off of my finger, so there is definitely room for a band to sit flush with the shank and most rings i''ve tried on have been fine with it, but there isn''t a WHOLE lot of room.

 

[mimzy]

deco - thank you! i love it too

(it's white gold btw). and i think it's a lot to pay too! i understand because they are beautifully crafted, and i wouldn't mind paying it if we had the money....but alas we don't. sigh!

 

[decodelighted]

Well I finally found Vesper''s Thread .. you HAVE to check it out because they are perfectly narrow & would look YUMMO with your e-ring! She has photos of them with HER ering too so you can see how they stack.

BE GLAD you have white gold!! Not good to mix white gold & platinum and platinum is THROUGH THE ROOF right now! At least the white gold options will be a bit more, um, SANE!

 

[mimzy]

Date: 3/1/2008 11:35:48 PM
Author: decodelighted
Well I finally found Vesper''s Thread .. you HAVE to check it out because they are perfectly narrow & would look YUMMO with your e-ring! She has photos of them with HER ering too so you can see how they stack.


BE GLAD you have white gold!! Not good to mix white gold & platinum and platinum is THROUGH THE ROOF right now! At least the white gold options will be a bit more, um, SANE!

those are some gorgeous rings! i can''t tell if they have the milgrain on the edges though...? i don''t need them to match perfectly, but i think that is sort of an important design element that should be present in both rings. i checked out the laurenklein website and she has some others that i think might work though!! i''m really excited....now just to see if i can''t find some bigger pictures of the rings on her site! the ones she has are tiny

 

[monarch64]

Mimzy, so sorry I misunderstood your actual budget. D''oh!

I really love Vespergirl''s rings, Deco has the right idea for sure. I wonder, even if they are not already milgrained, if you could later have them milgrained? I worked for a jeweler last year for a few months and he told several customers that we could add milgraining to their plain bands or bands with diamonds if they wanted. I think he quoted something like $75, but don''t quote me on that. LOL!

 

[shimmer]

Mimzy, I love your ering! I agree with deco and think that vesper''s band(s) would look absolutely PERFECT.

I hope you find something in your budget that you love

 

[honey22]

I don''t want to offend anyone who is planning their perfect day, but I just wanted to add my opinion. I have just been MOH at my friends wedding and saw the massive cost of having the perfect wedding. When it comes down to it, the guests don''t really care if they are getting an awesome reception venue, if the wine/food was upgraded a level or especially don''t care about those little presents the bride and groom give out on the tables, I was the one who had to collect them all after they were left behind. All the time, effort and money gone into them and they were hardly even noticed. So much money is spent on these things and they are over and forgotten in a heart beat. You wband, on the other hand, is something you will cherish forever - the symbol of your marriage together. It would be so devastating to scrimp on that to have a single day of perfection. I have left a few weddings recently thinking what a waste of money! I am not saying everyone would feel like this, and I am not sure how the couples getting married felt, but I think you can so easily get caught up in the expectations and pressures of having everything just right.

Maybe you could rethink the catering? I am not sure what happens in the US, but where I live, if you have choices for each course, the price increases. Maybe cut back on that. Can you consider not having bonbonneire (do you guys call those little presents this). People leave them behind anyway. Wedding rehearsal dinners, after wedding parties?

I absolutely respect everyones decision to have the wedding they want, I just feel sad for you that you can''t have the wband that you truly want. I really hope you can come up with a way to get that dream wband - good luck!!

 

[monarch64]

Date: 3/2/2008 2:09:25 AM
Author: honey22
I don''t want to offend anyone who is planning their perfect day, but I just wanted to add my opinion. I have just been MOH at my friends wedding and saw the massive cost of having the perfect wedding. When it comes down to it, the guests don''t really care if they are getting an awesome reception venue, if the wine/food was upgraded a level or especially don''t care about those little presents the bride and groom give out on the tables, I was the one who had to collect them all after they were left behind. All the time, effort and money gone into them and they were hardly even noticed. So much money is spent on these things and they are over and forgotten in a heart beat. You wband, on the other hand, is something you will cherish forever - the symbol of your marriage together. It would be so devastating to scrimp on that to have a single day of perfection. I have left a few weddings recently thinking what a waste of money! I am not saying everyone would feel like this, and I am not sure how the couples getting married felt, but I think you can so easily get caught up in the expectations and pressures of having everything just right.

Maybe you could rethink the catering? I am not sure what happens in the US, but where I live, if you have choices for each course, the price increases. Maybe cut back on that. Can you consider not having bonbonneire (do you guys call those little presents this). People leave them behind anyway. Wedding rehearsal dinners, after wedding parties?

I absolutely respect everyones decision to have the wedding they want, I just feel sad for you that you can''t have the wband that you truly want. I really hope you can come up with a way to get that dream wband - good luck!!

I agree...which is why DH and I didn''t do favors, another money saver. Many people would disagree, and that is fine, but when you''re looking for ways to cut costs, this is a no brainer. No one, and I mean NO ONE, ever commented that they were displeased because they didn''t go home with a favor. We really received more comments on our venue, the beautiful weather (which was obviously not under our control but happened to be beautiful), my dress, and the food. We spent the most probably on the booze...we had open bar throughout the reception, period.

I like favors, don''t get me wrong, but I don''t think people necessarily "miss" them, and so I think that if they are absent, people honestly won''t care. So you don''t get a candle/cookie/gifty-type-thing to bring home...do you REALLY care? Just another opinion here. I certainly don''t mean to say that favors are silly or ridiculous, but when it comes to cutting costs I feel they are one of the first things to go.

 

[Maisie]

How about this one link

Or this one link

 

[mimzy]

Date: 3/2/2008 2:09:25 AM
Author: honey22
I don''t want to offend anyone who is planning their perfect day, but I just wanted to add my opinion. I have just been MOH at my friends wedding and saw the massive cost of having the perfect wedding. When it comes down to it, the guests don''t really care if they are getting an awesome reception venue, if the wine/food was upgraded a level or especially don''t care about those little presents the bride and groom give out on the tables, I was the one who had to collect them all after they were left behind. All the time, effort and money gone into them and they were hardly even noticed. So much money is spent on these things and they are over and forgotten in a heart beat. You wband, on the other hand, is something you will cherish forever - the symbol of your marriage together. It would be so devastating to scrimp on that to have a single day of perfection. I have left a few weddings recently thinking what a waste of money! I am not saying everyone would feel like this, and I am not sure how the couples getting married felt, but I think you can so easily get caught up in the expectations and pressures of having everything just right.


Maybe you could rethink the catering? I am not sure what happens in the US, but where I live, if you have choices for each course, the price increases. Maybe cut back on that. Can you consider not having bonbonneire (do you guys call those little presents this). People leave them behind anyway. Wedding rehearsal dinners, after wedding parties?


I absolutely respect everyones decision to have the wedding they want, I just feel sad for you that you can''t have the wband that you truly want. I really hope you can come up with a way to get that dream wband - good luck!!

honey thanks for the suggestions...but like i said i''ve already scrimped on everything (aside from the dress which i now regret). we have the lowest catering package they offer, our favors are going to cost like $75 total, our wedding rehersal budget is only 500 for 35 people (and that''s family and wp ONLY), and there''s no after party to speak of. we aren''t having a professional cake, florist or a limo or even a hotel room for me and FI afterwards (i''m just trying to make it clear that we aren''t spending money frivolously in other places!).

I totally understand the sentiment of your post and i totally agree, i just wish it were that easy

Maise, thanks for those links! I''ll look into them some more

Shimmer, thanks!

Monarch, can jewelers really add milgrain to rings? that''s very cool! i''ll have to keep that in mind.

 

[iheartscience]

I think you can make this happen if you can find a Beverly K ring for $800! Here's what I suggest:

Sell stuff on eBay for sure! I sold a bunch of stuff last month (vintage boots and vintage Coach bags I had collected, as well as some old Nylon Magazines) and I made about $900! But before you list anything, check the completed listings to make sure that the item you want to sell will actually sell, and to figure out how much you should list your item for.

Also, aren't you in school still? Even if you're not, do you have old textbooks or just regular books you can sell? I sold some old (and some were REALLY old) textbooks and regular books I used in school on half.com and made about $150. Some of them I only listed for $5, but that's better than them sitting on my bookshelves, taking up room, when I will never look at them again!

What else...you said baby-sitting-that's a great way to make $50 in one night, and that all adds up! Ask around for parents who need baby-sitters, or you can leave your information somewhere that parents look for baby-sitter recommendations. (A college around here has a whole little registry where people who want to baby-sit or nanny leave their information and parents come and look at it-my friend's gotten several summer nannying jobs that way.)

If you can't work, can your fiance? A few Saturday nights working retail would put a big dent into the amount you have to save for the ring! Also, you said you're scrimping on a lot of stuff, but how about in your daily life? I go out to eat waaaaaaay too much, personally, and I know I could easily save a lot of money if I stopped eating out so often. Also cutting out Starbucks drinks-$4 a day adds up!

See if your college or a college nearby does any studies and do those-oh wait, someone said that already-I know you said one only paid $10/hour, but that adds up!

Also, if all else fails, can you ask your parents to kick in a little more money so you can get the wedding band of your dreams? You can always pay them back later if they want you to, but I think it's important for you to get married with the wedding band you want!

 

[mimzy]

Date: 3/2/2008 10:09:44 AM
Author: thing2of2
I think you can make this happen if you can find a Beverly K ring for $800! Here''s what I suggest:


Sell stuff on eBay for sure! I sold a bunch of stuff last month (vintage boots and vintage Coach bags I had collected, as well as some old Nylon Magazines) and I made about $900! But before you list anything, check the completed listings to make sure that the item you want to sell will actually sell, and to figure out how much you should list your item for.


Also, aren''t you in school still? Even if you''re not, do you have old textbooks or just regular books you can sell? I sold some old (and some were REALLY old) textbooks and regular books I used in school on half.com and made about $150. Some of them I only listed for $5, but that''s better than them sitting on my bookshelves, taking up room, when I will never look at them again!


What else...you said baby-sitting-that''s a great way to make $50 in one night, and that all adds up! Ask around for parents who need baby-sitters, or you can leave your information somewhere that parents look for baby-sitter recommendations. (A college around here has a whole little registry where people who want to baby-sit or nanny leave their information and parents come and look at it-my friend''s gotten several summer nannying jobs that way.)


If you can''t work, can your fiance? A few Saturday nights working retail would put a big dent into the amount you have to save for the ring! Also, you said you''re scrimping on a lot of stuff, but how about in your daily life? I go out to eat waaaaaaay too much, personally, and I know I could easily save a lot of money if I stopped eating out so often. Also cutting out Starbucks drinks-$4 a day adds up!


See if your college or a college nearby does any studies and do those-oh wait, someone said that already-I know you said one only paid $10/hour, but that adds up!


Also, if all else fails, can you ask your parents to kick in a little more money so you can get the wedding band of your dreams? You can always pay them back later if they want you to, but I think it''s important for you to get married with the wedding band you want!

thanks for all the suggests thing2! I think that i am definitely going to try to set up an ebay account and see if i can sell some stuff. i''ve sold books on half too, but i think the most i''ve made total was like $60 bucks or so. but i''ll give it another try for sure. FI is a full time software engineer, and i can''t really imagine asking him to get another job to pay for more wedding stuff, when he already feels like we are spending more than we should be

. I can''t really ask my parents for more money, but maybe i could take my birthday money (about $200 total) and put that towards it.

i think the biggest problem that i am facing is while FI understands why it''s not bad to spend a decent amount of $$ on wedding bands, he doesn''t want to spent more money on the wedding, regardless of where it comes from. hmm....i think i''m off to do a new thread.....

 

[enbcfsobe]

http://www.pearlmansjewelers.com/jewelry-specials/closeout-jewelry/rings/155CO1/80/

its a small size and i''m not sure if its the style you were looking for but i thought it was worth a shot.