Wedding Dress Dilemma!

[iheartscience]

I''ve been looking online incessantly at wedding dresses and I just don''t like any of them for me! I''m not very traditional but I am willing to give a traditional wedding dress a shot if I could find one that appealed to me. I see plenty that are beautiful but I would just look and feel absolutely ridiculous in them! Plus I look terrible in white and ivory...they''re just not good colors for me. I was thinking about trying to find a pink or a grey dress...

I am a big shopper but I haven''t even been able to find a cool evening gown that could work. I think I''m going to have to get one made but I just don''t even know where to start looking for a good seamstress or what to ask/look for, etc. It''s starting to make me feel really overwhelmed and I usually love clothes and shopping for clothes!

If anyone has any advice for me about where to look for dresses or how to find a good seamstress I would love to hear them!

 

[neatfreak]

Have you tried any on? Because I THOUGHT I was very non-traditional, and I THOUGHT that I didn''t want a regular ivory wedding dress, but things totally changed once I had tried on a number of dresses at a bridal store.

Honestly, I would start with that, then move forward with something else if you still don''t like anything.

 

[poptart]

Yea I was the same way. I went in thinking I wouldn''t want any of the dresses they had to offer. I ended up buying the first one I tried on (after trying on about 20 after that). You might find you look amazing in something you never would have initially considered.

*M*

 

[So_happy]

I''m wondering if you''d go to an appointment at some bridal shop and just said, "I''d like something with clean lines, nothing frilly, an a-line skirt, and diamond white, to start, please" that you''d have a good place to start.

Once it''s on you might find yourself saying......."oh, okay, so maybe not a strapless.........but I do like this skirt........and it does seem to make my waist look smaller..........but that color is a little bright........do you have an ivory gown I can try on next that goes by this description?"

If that sales person is a good one, she will listen to what you say about dress #1 and, knowing her stock, bring you #2 that gets closer to achieving what you just said you wanted.

 

[surfgirl]

thing, you HAVE to try on bridal gowns, you just cannot judge by an online photo. There are so many variables on whether or not they''ll look good on or not. Styles I loved looked awful on me, and styles I never would have thought to look good, looked great. I started out trying on at a David''s just because it was fast in and out and no appt needed. That gave me ideas on which styles to look for elsewhere...

 

[monarch64]

Ya ha ah, Thing2of2, welcome to dress shopping! I think i went in with exactly the same attitude: I didn''t want anything white, anything ivory, anything traditional, etc. The first 4-5 dresses I would even deign to try on were rum pink or champagne, or anything besides white or ivory or any variation of the two.

However, I ended up trying on all different colors in one day, not even thinking I would find "the" dress that day. Funny enough, I found my dress that very day after only trying on 12 different dresses of varying shades. And guess what I chose? Yep, an ivory, a-line beauty with a detachable chapel-length train. The only thing breaking it apart from what I really did not want was that it had two little spaghetti straps attached to the bodice. Hmmmmmmmm....how did that happen?

I tried them on!!! hey, the rum pink two-piece bustier with box-pleat skirt looked ASTOUNDING on me! but it wasn''t right for my outdoor afternoon Sunday ceremony. The champagne, big-bow bodiced mermaid gown looked STELLAR on my figure but wasn''t right for the occasion and my DH would''ve hated it anyway, as well as my parents. ....The Alencon lace, strapless, big skirted lovely deal looked STUNNING on me, but it was actually WEARING me and i hadn''t even had a chance to put shoes on yet....no dice.

I know exactly what you''re going through. You WILL find the right dress, just as you found the right venue, (and I''m sorry, first I should''ve said the right man, duh!), the right flowers, etc. it will all fall into place, don''t worry! You just have to try on a lot of different things that you never thought you would and all of a sudden:

BAM!

You''ll be the bride you''ve always envisioned yourself to be.

It will happen for you. Take care! You can DO this!

 

[zoebartlett]

I can totally relate!! I thought I was going to be pretty non-traditional, but A LOT of that was because I didn''t think I''d find anything. I was ready to to settle on "any old dress" because I wasn''t sure how a wedding dress would look. I ended up buying the first one I had tried on in the second shop I went to. I had a fabulous sales girl helping who quickly put my doubts to rest. There are so many styles and you can definitely do simple, understated, little or no detailing, whatever you want. Try on lots of different styles, even ones you don''t think you''ll like. You might surprise yourself.

 

[iheartscience]

Alright, so I guess I better try some on first, huh?

Then I''ll come back and whine here if I still can''t find something! Do you guys know if anyone here has successfully gotten something made by a seamstress if they couldn''t find anything they liked?

 

[Selkie]

I think several past BIWs have had their dresses made, the only one I can think of off the top of my head is IndieJones. She's still around, if you want to give her a holler.

ETA: Fatafelice had a dress custom made from an antique lace dress, and I think she has a couple threads about it.

E(Again)TA: Just thought of another-Nytemist had a dress designed as well, and hers was a gorgeous non-traditional lavender.

Nytemist's dress

 

[Pandora II]

I''m planning on going the seamstress direction.

I think I''ve found someone really great here in London who does exactly the sort of dresses I like - it took me about 3 hours of googling to find her though.

The other thing I found was a girl in Somerset who does pattern cutting/toiles. You send her pictures of the sort of thing you like (she won''t do exact copies.) and all your measurements; she then makes a muslin toile and sends you pics via email. When it is exactly how you want it she turns it into a paper pattern perfect for your measurements and sends you the pattern and the toile. She charges about £125 GBP for the service. Its fantastic if you have someone who is good at sewing but not so hot on the pattern-cutting/design side.

I was really tempted to go this route and then make the dress myself, but I need a very well-boned corset in my design and much as I''d love to make one I''m not sure my wedding dress is the best way to practice. I then found that the corset makers I thought could do the top part and I could so the skirt part, don''t do custom anymore.

Now I''ve found this great girl who specialises in corsetted dresses so I am just going to do the fun bits like the beading myself.

There were loads of people in the states doing similar kinds of things - what I really looked at were the finished examples - look at lots of people''s sites as there is a big difference between couture standard and basic dressmaking. Also check what fabrics you can use. My contact is happy for me to bring my own fabric in, and I loved her designs.

 

[surfgirl]

thing, may I just call you ''thing''?

Anyway, dont forget to check out BMs dresses. Quite a few of us have found our dresses that way, plus they''re crazy inexpensive compared to a bridal gown and you can add accessories to make them more bridal. I''m not sure what styles you like but Vera Wang has lovely BM gowns, some are very ethereal and in unique colors. And her silk chiffon is divine!

 

[litebrite]

It''s really true that you have to try on the dresses. I thought strapless would look terrible on me since I am not gifted in the chest area, but I looked surprisingly nice in a light champagne pink strapless with rhinestones and pickups - very girly, very frilly. (I did decide to go with a white satin dress with tank straps though because I was afraid of the dress falling down during the evening.) So don''t forget to keep your mind open!

RK Bridal in NYC has good prices (www.rkbridal.com/) and I''ve heard lots of good things about Pearl''s in Neew Orleans. I''d say a good place to start is by going to your local David''s and just trying stuff on to get a feel for it, and then also to a department store bridal salon, as well as a high end salon. It''s good to go to a range of places to see what prices are and also quality.

Soon you''ll have a good sense of what shapes work for your body (i.e., I lack cleavage for halters, and mermaids overly emphasized my pear shape.) Then you can zoom in on colors and details like ruffles and bows if you so want.

I''m sure you''ll find a great dress, and if you are a nontraditional bride, check out www.indiebride.com''s forum for photos of wedding dress alternatives.

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 7/9/2007 8:49:43 AM
Author: thing2of2
Alright, so I guess I better try some on first, huh?

Then I''ll come back and whine here if I still can''t find something! Do you guys know if anyone here has successfully gotten something made by a seamstress if they couldn''t find anything they liked?

Best wishes; take a friend so you get an honest opinion

 

[Munchkin]

1. Definitely at least try on some fairly traditional dresses first.

2. Ann Taylor Celebrations line and J Crew have a number of formal dresses in various colors that could definitely work as a wedding dress. Target also just added wedding dresses, some of which aren''t so traditional.

3. I had my dress custom made. I found elements of different dresses I liked - but never on the same dress! Add to that the fact that I have never reached the 5 foot mark. None of the proportions on the the dresses in stores worked for me. I would have had to have a store dress basically taken apart during the alterations process to make it look right. I brought ideas to a man who has his own line of wedding gowns and was a former designer for Priscilla of Boston. I described my dream dress and he sketched it out in about 10 minutes. He has literally built the dress for me, piece by piece. We started in muslin and moved to the actual materials. I have my dream dress. I wholeheartedly recommend going custom if you are having trouble finding "your" dress.

Good luck!

 

[akw94]

I definitely agree about trying on dresses. I picked something very different from what I thought I liked. Also, even if you get a dress made, you''ll get a feel for the style that you like. You might not find everything you want in one dress but at least you know that you want x style bottom and y style top, etc...

When you do go, definitely take lots of pics!

Good luck!

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 7/9/2007 12:30:37 PM
Author: surfgirl
thing, may I just call you ''thing''?

Anyway, dont forget to check out BMs dresses. Quite a few of us have found our dresses that way, plus they''re crazy inexpensive compared to a bridal gown and you can add accessories to make them more bridal. I''m not sure what styles you like but Vera Wang has lovely BM gowns, some are very ethereal and in unique colors. And her silk chiffon is divine!

Hahaha-of course you can call me thing!

I checked out the Vera Wang bridesmaid dresses and they''re seriously made for me! They''re GORGEOUS! I feel like you read my mind and tastes through the internet!

Thanks for the perfect suggestion!

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 7/9/2007 11:51:39 AM
Author: Selkie
I think several past BIWs have had their dresses made, the only one I can think of off the top of my head is IndieJones. She''s still around, if you want to give her a holler.

ETA: Fatafelice had a dress custom made from an antique lace dress, and I think she has a couple threads about it.

E(Again)TA: Just thought of another-Nytemist had a dress designed as well, and hers was a gorgeous non-traditional lavender.

Nytemist''s dress

Thanks for the links and hints, Selkie! I checked out Nytemist''s dress and I need to do a search to check out Fata and Indie''s dress threads, too.

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 7/9/2007 7:27:39 PM
Author: litebrite
It''s really true that you have to try on the dresses. I thought strapless would look terrible on me since I am not gifted in the chest area, but I looked surprisingly nice in a light champagne pink strapless with rhinestones and pickups - very girly, very frilly. (I did decide to go with a white satin dress with tank straps though because I was afraid of the dress falling down during the evening.) So don''t forget to keep your mind open!

RK Bridal in NYC has good prices (www.rkbridal.com/) and I''ve heard lots of good things about Pearl''s in Neew Orleans. I''d say a good place to start is by going to your local David''s and just trying stuff on to get a feel for it, and then also to a department store bridal salon, as well as a high end salon. It''s good to go to a range of places to see what prices are and also quality.

Soon you''ll have a good sense of what shapes work for your body (i.e., I lack cleavage for halters, and mermaids overly emphasized my pear shape.) Then you can zoom in on colors and details like ruffles and bows if you so want.

I''m sure you''ll find a great dress, and if you are a nontraditional bride, check out www.indiebride.com''s forum for photos of wedding dress alternatives.

Thanks for the links and hints, litebrite! You guys are all experts!

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 7/9/2007 7:36:44 PM
Author: Skippy123

Date: 7/9/2007 8:49:43 AM

Author: thing2of2

Alright, so I guess I better try some on first, huh?

Then I''ll come back and whine here if I still can''t find something! Do you guys know if anyone here has successfully gotten something made by a seamstress if they couldn''t find anything they liked?

Best wishes; take a friend so you get an honest opinion

Thanks, Skippy!

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 7/9/2007 9:12:00 PM
Author: Munchkin
1. Definitely at least try on some fairly traditional dresses first.

2. Ann Taylor Celebrations line and J Crew have a number of formal dresses in various colors that could definitely work as a wedding dress. Target also just added wedding dresses, some of which aren''t so traditional.

3. I had my dress custom made. I found elements of different dresses I liked - but never on the same dress! Add to that the fact that I have never reached the 5 foot mark. None of the proportions on the the dresses in stores worked for me. I would have had to have a store dress basically taken apart during the alterations process to make it look right. I brought ideas to a man who has his own line of wedding gowns and was a former designer for Priscilla of Boston. I described my dream dress and he sketched it out in about 10 minutes. He has literally built the dress for me, piece by piece. We started in muslin and moved to the actual materials. I have my dream dress. I wholeheartedly recommend going custom if you are having trouble finding ''your'' dress.

Good luck!

I didn''t even know Ann Taylor had bridal stuff-thanks for the tip! I have to check out J. Crew, too. Their stuff usually fits well. Do you have any pictures of your dream dress on PS?

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 7/9/2007 10:05:25 PM
Author: dixie94
I definitely agree about trying on dresses. I picked something very different from what I thought I liked. Also, even if you get a dress made, you''ll get a feel for the style that you like. You might not find everything you want in one dress but at least you know that you want x style bottom and y style top, etc...

When you do go, definitely take lots of pics!

Good luck!

Good point about figuring out what I want by trying on different dresses, dixie! I think I was dreading it too much to be logical! I''m probably going to go dress shopping in a few weeks and then I''m sure I''ll be back on here telling you bridal experts all about it!

 

[Harleigh]

Hi thing,

I agree...you need to go try on dresses! When I first started looking, I had a definite idea in mind of what I THOUGHT I wanted and would look good in. Every dress I thought I liked looked horrible, and the ones I hated on the hanger looked fabulous. By trying the dresses on I was able to get an idea of what style looked best on me and I actually ended up getting a Maggie Sottero really cheap on ebay. Keep an open mind and try to enjoy this once-in-a-lifetime experience! Best of luck!

 

[allycat0303]

thing2of2: I had a friend who had a dress custom made for her (it was pretty expensive, but in line with a store bought dress from high end designers). She went with custom because she had a very clear, precise picture in her head of what her dream dress was, but she couldn''t find it in the stores. Something about...a trumpet skirt with buttons all along the back, but she could only find trumpet with laces in the back. In any case, it turned out wonderfully for her. I think custom is a good option if you really, really know what you want and can explain it to the deisgner.

I also think you should try on some dresses, and maybe play with the shades they come in. You might be pleasently surprised. I have a friend who looks like poopy in blue. Really hates it on her, and I have to agree it washes her out. Anyways we forced her to try on this electric, turquoisey blue, and she looked FABULOUS. The best I''ve ever seen her look! So don''t rule anything out until you''ve tried it on.

Good luck!