Rod, I''m really not asking you to apologize again. Truth be told, I had been in the midst of composing my response early in the evening last night when I got sidetracked, so I didn''t see all the discussion that ensued afterward. I simply came back and picked up where I left off.Date: 3/27/2007 9:26:41 AM
Author: Rod
Well that''s just BUll Alj. I would NEVER look at someone in such a fashion. Again, I''m sorry my comments were taken so poorly. I don''t stare at people. I don''t do anything to make someone feel bad. I apologized earlier and I don''t intend to say I''m sorry again. I''m about the most gentle and kind person you could find and I am truly offended anyone took my comments in such a negative way. Geesh, don''t be so high and mighty.Date: 3/27/2007 1:50:12 AM
Author: aljdewey
Maybe you haven''t given any thought to this, but it''s highly likely that you''re part of the reason that overweight person never comes back more than once.
He''s probably more acutely aware than you realize that you''re looking at him with a ''why are you bothering when you''re that slow'' look, or with a ''gosh, if I don''t kill myself today, I might end up looking like HIM'' look. Perhaps you mistake being overweight for being unintuitive, and if so, you''re dead wrong. Or maybe it''s just that you were oblivious when you were the ''what''s the point'' guy for someone else.
I really have to chime in here with FG. Most of the time, I really enjoy this thread and find a lot of inspiration in it, but today, it''s really struck a wrong chord with me....and especially your post, Rod. Over many weeks, I''ve read post after post exclaiming over society''s unhealthy habits and preaching about how people should just get up and move. That is, until some people DO.......and then the tune changes to ''why bother if you aren''t going to exert yourself as much as I do......oh, and look at ME going 13 mph.''
Maybe you don''t consider that others don''t mind taking a little longer to get to their goals. Maybe working out three hours a day just doesn''t work for their lifestyles. Maybe they just doesn''t give a rat''s ass about how their efforts compare to yours.
Or .........maybe they look at you and think ''gee, why is he bothering to invest effort in being attractive on the outside if he''s going to neglect being attractive on the inside?''
Emphatically second this! Gosh, so many are doing SO GREAT at this! I just read that Shay is nearing the 90-day mark in her efforts to stop.Date: 3/27/2007 2:19:12 AM
Author: TravelingGal
Monarch, WOO HOO on your not smoking. You GO girl! (and go and go and go!)
And that is why I apologized to begin with. I NEVER meant to be high or mightly I was once a lumberer at the gym. I was once the person who I''m sure people wondered if I''d come back. But I did and I kept coming back and I''m proud of what I''ve accomplished. Many here may recall my co-worker who is hugely obese. I have continued to encourage him and he is continuing to work out and feel pride in his accomplishments. I hope that the encouragement I have offered him will keep him working towards becoming healthier long after I''ve left this state.Date: 3/27/2007 11:09:53 AM
Author: aljdewey
Rod, I''m really not asking you to apologize again. Truth be told, I had been in the midst of composing my response early in the evening last night when I got sidetracked, so I didn''t see all the discussion that ensued afterward. I simply came back and picked up where I left off.Date: 3/27/2007 9:26:41 AM
Author: Rod
Well that''s just BUll Alj. I would NEVER look at someone in such a fashion. Again, I''m sorry my comments were taken so poorly. I don''t stare at people. I don''t do anything to make someone feel bad. I apologized earlier and I don''t intend to say I''m sorry again. I''m about the most gentle and kind person you could find and I am truly offended anyone took my comments in such a negative way. Geesh, don''t be so high and mighty.Date: 3/27/2007 1:50:12 AM
Author: aljdewey
Maybe you haven''t given any thought to this, but it''s highly likely that you''re part of the reason that overweight person never comes back more than once.
He''s probably more acutely aware than you realize that you''re looking at him with a ''why are you bothering when you''re that slow'' look, or with a ''gosh, if I don''t kill myself today, I might end up looking like HIM'' look. Perhaps you mistake being overweight for being unintuitive, and if so, you''re dead wrong. Or maybe it''s just that you were oblivious when you were the ''what''s the point'' guy for someone else.
I really have to chime in here with FG. Most of the time, I really enjoy this thread and find a lot of inspiration in it, but today, it''s really struck a wrong chord with me....and especially your post, Rod. Over many weeks, I''ve read post after post exclaiming over society''s unhealthy habits and preaching about how people should just get up and move. That is, until some people DO.......and then the tune changes to ''why bother if you aren''t going to exert yourself as much as I do......oh, and look at ME going 13 mph.''
Maybe you don''t consider that others don''t mind taking a little longer to get to their goals. Maybe working out three hours a day just doesn''t work for their lifestyles. Maybe they just doesn''t give a rat''s ass about how their efforts compare to yours.
Or .........maybe they look at you and think ''gee, why is he bothering to invest effort in being attractive on the outside if he''s going to neglect being attractive on the inside?''
That said, I don''t believe you are intentionally staring at others or *trying* to make them feel bad.
My point was to make you realize (as Deco pointed out) that you don''t have to be overt about it for others to pick up on that vibe. Don''t kid yourself into thinking that some beginners in the gym aren''t acutely aware of the undercurrent of being noticed and judged.....they are, even if you don''t go up to them and say it aloud. That doesn''t mean they know that *you* personally are thinking it, but believe me, they know that some of the people around them are thinking exactly those thoughts.
Honestly, I believe you *are* a genuinely kind person........as am I. That''s why it truly disappointed me to see an attitude of ''why is that guy bothering to even try'' coming from you......someone whose efforts and enthusiasm I''d long admired. Having been in those shoes yourself, I''d have expected you to be a bit more empathetic, and maybe even *encouraging* to people who might be trying to start on a better path.
I''d have expected you to understand that changing from a lifestyle of no activity to one of activity is a process (crawl, walk, run), and that going from no activity to immediately gasping and panting at 13 MPH isn''t really a *sensible* way to embark on a lifestyle change toward activity.
Instead, what I perceived was a surprising dose of ''high and mighty'' (and gauging from the responses that followed, it appears I wasn''t alone), and it prompted me to respond in kind in the hopes that you''d understand how it feels to be on the receiving end of a like attitude. It''s not pleasant, and it feels hurtful. What you hear from me isn''t high and mighty; it''s disappointment at what I read as insensitivity from someone I''d always thought was very sensitive.
In truth, it doesn''t offend me personally; I think it''s long established on PS that I''m not much affected by what others think of me individually.. However, I''ve enjoyed seeing more and more PSers here in WWT in the last few months....folks who''ve been brave enough to dip a toe into the WWT threads because they''ve felt they''re among friends and it''s safe. I don''t want to see that drop away, especially when I know it''s not what you''d want either, and that makes it worth the risk of being candid in how I felt reading it.![]()
Oh, and I''d agree with Deco that it has nothing to do with being ''grown-up''.
Thanks Mara!!Date: 3/27/2007 12:39:36 PM
Author: Mara
gosh, i should have listened to that little voice going ''hmm this could be taken the wrong way'' about what i posted yesterday...and just NOT. because i would never want anyone to think i was being negative on them, my apologies as well. rod, i know that you worked so hard to get where you are at and you are so proud of it, i know you are a wonderful person (evidenced also by how you were so eager to help your coworker who needs to lose weight for health reasons) and that your comments were misconstrued. anyhow, i am glad that everyone seems to be back on the right track because honestly i hate to see this particular thread with any sort of dissention in it, it is such a haven, in my opinion, of positive engery and it totally keeps me motivated from day to day. even though i have reached my goals, i still struggle with some things as i mentioned yesterday, such as how to maintain the ''right'' way. so i don''t think anything is EASY at all when it comes to weight loss or finding that right balance of healthy lifestyle for us each individually.
and speaking of that NYC...you ask how to maintain without losing, that''s what i am also trying to figure out! because as kimberly noted, she feels more comfortable not upping her cals even though she wants to maintin. i am kind of the same way. i don''t want to add in another 200 cals a day to maintain. i like what i eat and when i eat it...and if i add too many cals in i end up feeling like a chowing sow. so i''d prefer to just stick with eating less during the week and then have two entirely splurgy days on the weekend where i know it won''t affect me. and that seems to be working okay actually. but i am working out a little more now that i am off from work...so i am eating a little bit more too because otherwise i will continue to lose (i lost 2 lbs in the last 3 weeks). so i''m still fine tuning my whole thing too. just keep trying different things. also if you don''t want to eat bigger portions of things, add in some higher calorie modifications that are good for you. like more PB or almond butter, or use real butter on bread instead of fake butter, or use full fat sour cream or yogurt instead of low fat or non fat, same with milks, start using 2% rather than 1% or nonfat. there are small ways to get more cals in a positive way without actually having to consume more volume. that''s what i am learning about too. hehe.
TG, the berry thing was really yummy. the recipe called for frangelico or moscato but it would also be divine with a real thick ice wine like the bonny doon vin de glaciere (which is NEVER in stock at our local bevmo to my everlasting chagrin!!)...and i have another recipe for a similar berry dish with proseco, so i guess you can kind of use whatever suits your taste buds best. greg pronounced it very light and fruity, he loved it. and it felt like something you''d get at a restaurant so it''s kinda fun! and would be great for a dinner party too, the presentation is so cute in the glass parfait cups.
the other dessert i want to try soon is an affogato, i saw this in a bon appetit...you basically have a glass parfait kinda dish like this again, then put a scoop of ice cream or gelato (the recipe called for chocolate but i thought vanilla bean would be awesome as well) in it, brew some espresso then pour it over the ice cream, top with a tablespoon of rum (i''d use kahlua since i like it better) and then a tsp of shaved chocolate. YUM. the espresso melts the ice cream and mingles with it and the liquer and the chocolate. i have seen this in some gelato places but it looked way more ''unhealthy'' than this recipe, i thought wow this could be really tasty and under 200 cals total. plus i love coffee and ice cream and the two mixed sounds divine. so that is on the plan for trying this week also, maybe thurs.
see here i am talking about dessert already and it''s 9:30am. i am officially obsessed.
elequin, so happy you checked in and sorry to hear about your accident , i am glad to hear everything is okay!!!
orangevixen are you still out there? coda? skippy? sevenwires? anyone else?
and monnie CONGRATS woman you are doing wonderfully with the no smoking thing, so proud of you!!! and yes i think saving the tiramisu for a party is a smart move, hehee. i know i would find portion control hard as well. i wish that more places had like 1-2 portioned kind of frozen desserts...i would be way more apt to buy it if it wasn''t a big ole pie for 8 people or whatever. that''s why i liked that single serve frozen tiramisu at whole foods...if i am in the area where the other one had it this week i am definitely going to stop and pick it up.
kimberly, nothing wrong with indulging a craving hehee. i have been craving chocolate layer cake for a week now. i almost got it the other night when we got dessert but i was seduced by the double chocolate mousse cake...which was divine. but now i am tempted to make a cake from CL or something just to get my craving out of the way. but then i don''t want some big cake hanging around. argh! why can''t local places make desserts that are not an arm and a leg on calories?? it would save me a lot of baking, haha. there are two other recipes i have been eyeing in the rachel ray magazine...a recipe for lemon cookies where if i use the recipe as is, each cookie is only 55 cals and also a brown sugar shortbread which would be about 80 cals. i thought the shortbread would be amazing heated up in the micro with some gelato on it...hehee. always thinking of dessert, damn.![]()
anyhow, breakfast was 2 optimum power blueberry waffles (5g protein, 5g fiber, 1000 mg of omega threes!) with butter spray, flax meal, cinnamon and syrup and coffee. i am meeting a friend for lunch at this local place, it''s about 1.25 miles away from the house so i really want to walk there, but the clouds are gathering outside so i might just drive as i don''t want to get caught in a downpour. i''m hitting up the gym later today anyway, so the walk would have just been a ''bonus'' and a way to get out and into the fresh air, but not if it''s raining, hehee. hope everyone is having a great morning!!
Date: 3/27/2007 4:36:32 PM
Author: FireGoddess
Mara, I LOVE Laughing Cow cheese. Unfortunately, I know why the ''laughing cow'' is laughing. He laughs at my GI distress from eating his ''light'' cheese. UGH. Was so sad to figure out (by eliminating foods one by one as I was doubled over suffering from intestinal cramping) that it was the LC cheese that was doing it. WAH. Can''t eat that ever again. Maybe it won''t do that to you, but be forewarned.![]()