Well, I didn''t see this coming.

[Feralpenchant]

Wednesday night : SO broke up with me.
Yesterday : The ring arrived.

Completely out of the blue. I mean, completely. We were fine one minute and 5 minutes later we were over.

He said he thought he was happy with me, but that he was wrong. I don't believe that, he is contradicting himself in every possible way. Why would he spend 2000+ just to leave me? It seems to me like he is scared and got cold feet. Unfortunately, I live with him and have no where else to go in this state until I can move out. He is being so awkward. The only place I can go is Georgia to live with my family until I can get a job and get into school down there. I respect his decision, but I am so confused. I told him that I don't think it's me he's unhappy with, it's where he is in life in general, and while I don't understand why we can't work on our lives together, I accept that he does not believe that we can. I also told him that I am going to go to GA and go to school and just carry on and if he wants me back he can book a plane ticket to GA and show up on my doorstep.

I think that once we get a little more under our belts that we will work. I am ready for this type of commitment, but I want it with him.

I guess only time will tell if we're meant to be together..

He told me to keep the ring. I didn't even ask him, he just brought it up. It's beautiful

I'm just so upset and lost feeling. Uprooting your life is never easy. I can't believe this is happening.

 

[brooklyngirl]

Oh my goodness! I''m so sorry -- huge hugs to you! Isn''t there anyone at all you can stay with until you go back to GA?

Perhaps this is a blessing in disguise. If he came out with this out of the blue, please be glad he did it before marriage and engagement. A person who just springs something like this on you is not one you want to devote your life to.

((((HUGS)))))

 

[Lauren8211]

Oh honey, I am so sorry.

((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))

I don''t even know what to say! I''m just so sorry to hear that happened, and wanted to lend my support... whatever it is that I can provide online.

 

[idreamofcushions]

I am so sorry, feralpenchant. I don''t even know what to say. I just pray that everything will work out for you.

((((hugs))))

 

[Feralpenchant]

Thanks guys. We are both young, he's only 20, and I'm 21. I can forgive him for getting scared. I really feel right about him, and I know deep down under everything that's going on with him, he loves me. He says that he loves me but that he has to do this. It's not like there was total disregard for me. I just think he needs time away from me and on his own and hopefully when he's ready he'll come back. The situation does not make sense given the information he has given me. Hopefully this is him realizing he needs to be further in life to make this commitment, and hopefully he'll remember me when he is ready.

I don't know.. this is just too hard to swallow.

 

[monarch64]

Oh, I''m so sorry to hear this. Life just throws crazy things at you all the time, it seems. I really hope that things work out for you and wish you the best. Big, huge, ginormous hugs to you, feralpenchant. Take care.

 

[IloveAsschers13]

I just wanted to chime in and say I''m so sorry you are going through this. It''s not fun

. I hope that the more he mulls over what has happened, the more sense he will be able to explain to you. I''m so sorry! I can''t imagine, and I hope it works out!!!!

 

[Iowa Lizzy]

Oh no, Feral. I''m so sorry. You must feel completely side-blinded with this.

You''re being so mature about it. Keep your chin up. You WILL get through this.

 

[Gypsy]

Feral honey I''m so sorry. ((HUGE GIGANTIC HUGS TO YOU)).

 

[ilovesparkles]

Sorry to hear this honey, stay strong. HUGS!

 

[b.anna]

aww, feral, i''m so sorry that this happened to you! like everyone has said stay strong, and get through it. it definitely does seem like he''s getting cold feet and is doing this out of fear. keep your head up, and i hope for the best for both of you! big big big :hugsss:

 

[mrscushion]

Wow... I am so, so sorry. Don''t know what to say. Sending you hugs.

 

[Rhea]

Oh no! How horrible! Big HUGS.

 

[gwendolyn]

Oh my gosh, Feralpenchant, I am so sorry to hear this! I can''t really imagine how confused and hurt you must feel, and it sounds as if he is rather confused himself since you mention that he seems to be contradicting himself. I''m really impressed with how you''re handling this, by you telling him where you''ll be if he wants to make the step to come see you again and work things out. I am sending big hugs and hope you have people to support you through this, as I''m sure it won''t be easy. Take care of yourself, sweetie.

 

[Bia]

I''m so sorry to hear this feral

 

[misskitty]

BIG hugs, Feral! I''m so sorry, hun.

 

[megumic]

I''m so sorry to hear this! I can only imagine how hard this is for you - you will get through this. I firmly believe in fate and that people who belong together end up together. You''re young, and from your posts I can tell you are a very clear thinker - just give him some time.

I can tell you, for me personally, I was the one breaking up with the boy. And I did love him, he was perfect. I just had to give myself time and at the time of the break-up, I didn''t know why and I was confused with myself. But about a year later we were back together and here I am a LIW.

No matter the outcome for you, have faith that all will turn out okay. BIG HUGS and stay strong!!!!

 

[ckrickett]

I''m really very sorry about that, my heart goes out to you

 

[Lilac]

I''m really so sorry you''re going through this

 

[bubbly1126]

I am so sorry that you're having to deal with this, Feralpenchant. It is never easy having to start over. My advice: Go to GA, work on making yourself better(ie. school, making new friends, meeting new guys) and just go on with your life. The last thing you want to do is hold out hope for him b/c honestly, there is a very real possibility that he'll never come to the decision you'd like him to. But that doesn't mean you're going to be heartbroken forever. Trust me, regardless of what happens after this moment, you'll get through it and in the end you'll be a MUCH stronger woman.

Hold your head up girl, we're ALL here for you!

ETA* I've been through a similar situation.

 

[stepcutgirl]

I am so sorry and like others am at a loss for words. ((((HUGS)))

I am so impressed with your maturity. I''m not sure I could be so understanding so quickly. You''ve got a great head on your shoulders.

 

[Treasure43]

I just wanted to say I''m so sorry this happened. However, as someone else mentioned, it''s better that he figured this out now than right before the wedding. Or after. I''m sure this is a heartbreaking and confusing time for you but it seems like you''re handling this quite well and very maturely. Ultimatly, you do not want to be engaged to someone who isn''t ready or feels like he''s not happy.

It''s unfortunate that you live together because I can imagine that it would be quite akaward. However, I think going back to GA and getting on with your life is the best thing you can do. I''m not saying he WON''T come around but I would advise you to get on with your life as if he won''t. Perhaps he''s thinking he''s too young and getting cold feet. I really don''t know. All I can say is that we''re all here for you to offer whatever support we can!

 

[isaku5]

Aw, Feral, that just stinks no matter how you phrase it.

I was so upset for you that I didn''t read all the posts before adding mine. I''m so sorry. Can you contact relatives and arrange to stay with one of them for the time being? I''m at a loss for words...



((((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))

 

[Tuckins1]

Oh my. I am so sorry to hear that!!

Lots of (((HUGS))) for you!!

 

[sparklyheart]

((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

I''m so sorry to hear this feral.. I have to say ditto to what everyone else is saying.. Go to GA, get on with your life and take care of YOU. He may come crawling back but he may not.. You are still young and you need to go have some fun! Even though you don''t want to right now, think of the worst case scenario: He doesn''t come back. Would you want to look back in a year and think "man I have sat around waiting for him, why did he not come back???" or "it sucks that he''s not coming back but at least I''ve got all these awesome friends and hot southern boys to comfort me!"

Best of luck to you!

 

[purrfectpear]

It''s awful that you didn''t see it coming, but at least he was honest.

Ditto the advice to get your life together in GA. You were unemployed, your mom was paying your bills, and you were living with his parents. That''s just not a recipe for marriage (or engagement) success.

I know it''s painful, but in GA you need to focus on your own independence. Job, self supporting, etc. You have to find yourself before you should be thinking of a relationship. Best of luck to you Feral. I have a feeling that you''ll end up much stronger and in a better place

 

[princesss]

I''m sorry you''re hurting, honey, but I just know you''re going to come out of this on top. So this wasn''t the right time/person/situation. That will come. Now you''ve got time to focus on yourself and that''s a good thing. There is a silver lining here.

Again, though, I''m sorry you''re hurting and that this happened so suddenly. At least he showed you enough respect to be honest with you.

 

[Vani]

I''m so sorry you''re going through this. But I think you''re doing absolutely the right thing by focusing on yourself and moving on with your life.

 

[bubbly1126]

Date: 5/17/2009 12:37:22 PM
Author: princesss
I''m sorry you''re hurting, honey, but I just know you''re going to come out of this on top. So this wasn''t the right time/person/situation. That will come. Now you''ve got time to focus on yourself and that''s a good thing. There is a silver lining here.


Again, though, I''m sorry you''re hurting and that this happened so suddenly. At least he showed you enough respect to be honest with you.

Ditto!!

 

[bee*]

Wow, I didn''t see that one coming either. I''m really sorry that happened. I think that you should definitely go to GA and get your life together and hopefully you guys will come out stronger in the end.