What does the Matron of Honor do??

[cutes814]

so i''ve been asked to be the matron of honor for my best friend''s wedding.

what does the matron of honor do? what are her responsibilities? what is the difference between the matron of honor and the maid of honor?

 

[Independent Gal]

My understanding is that a matron of honour is a married maid of honour. No other difference! Your job depends partly on the bride''s expectations. It could include:

- throwing a shower and / or bachelorette
- bossing around the other maids and matrons to make sure they get stuff done on time (like getting dresses or whatever)
- giving general support and comfort to the bride
- holding the bride''s bouquet during the ceremony...
- give a toast at the wedding dinner

I can''t remember what else. I told my maids they shouldn''t feel they have to do anything at all, so now I''m not so up on this.

Maybe another lady can chime in?

 

[musey]

Good question. My matron of honor has been asking me the same question, to which I replied: "I dunno, pick out a purty dress and go get your hair done with me the day of?"

 

[cutes814]

thanks for chiming in ladies! so i guess my duties are the same as the maid of honor''s but i outrank her...muahahaha...so i boss her around...

j/k

so i guess this means, she basically has 2 maids of honor, but i''m just called the matron cuz i''m married right? we share all the duties equally?

i do want to participate and give this girl everything she deserves! a fabulous bridal shower and crazy bachlorette party!!!

she says she doesn''t want a ceremony, just planning to get hitched at city hall, so i guess that will be easy for the bridal party. i guess we''ll just have to deal with the banquet only (chinese tradition, it replaces the reception).

so glad i get to do those things. yay!

Date: 2/22/2008 10:00:48 PM
Author: musey
Good question. My matron of honor has been asking me the same question, to which I replied: ''I dunno, pick out a purty dress and go get your hair done with me the day of?''

that sounds perfect for me musey!

 

[diamondfan]

Do not quote me, but I think the matron or maid is sort of head honcho as honor attendants go. Main difference is maid is the unmarried pal whom you ask, and the matron is the married pal. I think that she is sort of the go to gal, who maybe you give more tasks and input to, and she can then maybe get some of the other attendants involved. That is sort of how I recall it. I would think they go with you if you want them to and they can go, when you dress shop etc. And I think it is sort of a given that they throw you a shower or help majorly in orchestrating it. I am reaching back many moons ago and frankly most of my pals were not married and I was the first in the group to get married, so we were all a bit in the dark about the details! I am sure a good wedding book would help illuminate the tasks that go with the territory.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Milly, I think it''s fantastic that you''re excited to take on the MOH duties, but definitely ask her what she wants. I know that there is probably a gazillion guides as to what a MOH is supposed to do, but it doesn''t really mean much if it''s not what your best friend wants. I know my conversation with my MOH went something like this:

Me: So D and I decided to get hitched, you''ll stand up there with me in case I faint, right?
MOH: Absolutely, just don''t have a long ceremony. Standing up there looks boring.
Me: HA! Tell me about it. Tell me what dress you want me to buy you so you look presentable.
MOH: Forget it, I''ll wear something I own. Are jeans fine?
Me: Sure
MOH: Should I throw you a shower?
Me: You know I''d hate you forever if you did, right?
MOH: Yes, but you underestimate how funny I would find it.
Me: Hilarious. You''ll give up rock climbing so you''ll have perfect nails for the event, right?
MOH: Ha! Like you would!
Me: True that. Okay, so no dress for you, no shower for me and you''ll go rock climbing with me immediately after our manicures the morning of?
MOH: Deal.

See, if my MOH had done all the things literature tells her to do, she would have been way off. I think it''s fine to just talk with her and ask her what she wants. She knows you''re excited to help, so I have no doubt she''ll be happy to let you know what she would like.

 

[diamondfan]

I agree with NEL, that asking is best! Just felt that the guidelines can be a good jumping off point for discussion. My books never contained the "subdue the mother in law to be if necessary" job duty...

 

[cutes814]

thanks for the help diamondfan and NEL!

i guess i was asking because i didn''t know if there was a difference between a matron of honor and a maid of honor. one of our other gf is gonna be her maid of honor and i''m the matron. i wanted to seek advice because i don''t want to be stepping on the maid of honor''s toes, ya know? but i guess her duties are my duties, so there''ll be no toe stepping.

as for the bride, she''s gonna get whatever she wants! i was a bride a couple of years ago and man, dealing with the wedding party is pretty stressful, especially if there is one girl that doesn''t listen or gives the bride hell.....

after going thru that, i''ll make sure my bride-to-be friend doesn''t have to go thru that.

 

[Sha]

Date: 2/23/2008 1:52:07 AM
Author: Milly
thanks for the help diamondfan and NEL!


i guess i was asking because i didn''t know if there was a difference between a matron of honor and a maid of honor. one of our other gf is gonna be her maid of honor and i''m the matron. i wanted to seek advice because i don''t want to be stepping on the maid of honor''s toes, ya know? but i guess her duties are my duties, so there''ll be no toe stepping.


as for the bride, she''s gonna get whatever she wants! i was a bride a couple of years ago and man, dealing with the wedding party is pretty stressful, especially if there is one girl that doesn''t listen or gives the bride hell.....


after going thru that, i''ll make sure my bride-to-be friend doesn''t have to go thru that.

Hi Milly,

This is a bit off-topic, since it seems you already received the answer to your question, but would be possible to make your font darker? It''s pretty light and a bit hard to read.... at least on my screen.

 

[anchor31]

Sha, I know her back from when we were LIWs together, and she always used that font, so she may not be willing to change it.

Anyway, hey Milly! Long time no see!

I learned last Thursday that I''m going to be a Matron of Honour myself. My BFF is now a LIW, expecting to get engaged in spring 2009 and married in fall 2010 (how exciting!

)... Her older sister will most likely be a Matron of Honour too, and the way I see it, we''ll just be sharing the MOH/BM duties. I''m with you with getting the bride whatever she wants... My BFF has been such an amazing bridesmaid to me, and it was so hard dealing with a MOH-zilla. Thankfully, the situation has resolved itself, but it was still a nightmare.

Have fun!

 

[LegacyGirl]

Date: 2/23/2008 10:34:07 AM
Author: Sha

Date: 2/23/2008 1:52:07 AM
Author: Milly
thanks for the help diamondfan and NEL!


i guess i was asking because i didn''t know if there was a difference between a matron of honor and a maid of honor. one of our other gf is gonna be her maid of honor and i''m the matron. i wanted to seek advice because i don''t want to be stepping on the maid of honor''s toes, ya know? but i guess her duties are my duties, so there''ll be no toe stepping.


as for the bride, she''s gonna get whatever she wants! i was a bride a couple of years ago and man, dealing with the wedding party is pretty stressful, especially if there is one girl that doesn''t listen or gives the bride hell.....


after going thru that, i''ll make sure my bride-to-be friend doesn''t have to go thru that.

Hi Milly,

This is a bit off-topic, since it seems you already received the answer to your question, but would be possible to make your font darker? It''s pretty light and a bit hard to read.... at least on my screen.

It''s easier to read if you highlite it

 

[diamondfan]

I always thought matron and maid were the same role, just one was if you asked a married gal to do it and one if she was single. I am not sure what both of you will do as that role, but you could always pull rank on her!

 

[cutes814]

hi sha! anchor''s right, i''ve had this color font for years now, so i won''t be changing it. pink is my favorite color! sorries.

the pink font shows up pretty dark on my cpu and laptop, so maybe your settings are different? legacygirl''s solution works well!

anchor!!! so good to see you!!!

i know it''s been a long time. i took a ps break cuz i was getting too obsessed with getting my upgrade...kekeke...and all these pretty baubles here didn''t help.

but it sure does feel so good to be back!

so, you''ll be in the same boat as me. i''m so excited to be her matron of honor!

congrats to your friend on her soon to be engagement too!

legacygirl, you are the best! is that how you read my posts?? hehehe...thanks for the tip. i''ll make sure to share that the next time someone has a hard time reading my posts.

diamondfan, i think you''re right. there probably isn''t a difference between the two MOH, except one is married and one ain''t. i guess i never knew until i started this thread. i thought the matron had different duties or something. i''m sure i dont need to pull rank but every so often steer the ship cuz i went thru this before and the other MOH hasn''t...hehehe...

 

[ringster]

Date: 2/23/2008 10:34:07 AM
Author: Sha

Date: 2/23/2008 1:52:07 AM

Author: Milly

thanks for the help diamondfan and NEL!



i guess i was asking because i didn't know if there was a difference between a matron of honor and a maid of honor. one of our other gf is gonna be her maid of honor and i'm the matron. i wanted to seek advice because i don't want to be stepping on the maid of honor's toes, ya know? but i guess her duties are my duties, so there'll be no toe stepping.



as for the bride, she's gonna get whatever she wants! i was a bride a couple of years ago and man, dealing with the wedding party is pretty stressful, especially if there is one girl that doesn't listen or gives the bride hell.....



after going thru that, i'll make sure my bride-to-be friend doesn't have to go thru that.

Hi Milly,


This is a bit off-topic, since it seems you already received the answer to your question, but would be possible to make your font darker? It's pretty light and a bit hard to read.... at least on my screen.

just FYI - i have the same problem as sha and legacygirl's suggestion doesn't really make it that much easier for me to read. but milly, if it is the font you like then it is the font you like. i just don't tend to read posts with light font cause it is kind of hard on my eyes ( i have to look at computer and fine print most of the day at work so i need to be nice to my eyes ) but that is just me.

 

[Sha]

Hi Milly,
I don''t mind the pink.... just if it was a bit darker? For some reason it comes across as a really pale pink on my screen. Highlighting only makes it a bit easier. But maybe it''s just my screen?

Anyway, no worries!