What should I do about FSIL?

[partyjewels]

FI has three sisters, one of which I''m pretty close with. I had intended to ask her to be one of my bridesmaids, but then the time came and I just kinda froze! I guess I kinda just figured it was better not to ask her because for one, they''re still getting used to the extra expenses of having a baby, and her husband is in the wedding. That means they''d have to rent a tux (and actually he''s in another wedding earlier this year too), buy a dress, and she''d have to make sure someone was going to watch her daughter. Because no matter how much FSIL wants her to be a flower girl, it''s not happening -she''ll be about 1 and a half by our wedding and to me it''s just too young. But aside from that, I didn''t want to cause any hurt feelings by asking just one of the sisters even though shes the only one I''m really close too. I get along fine with the other two, one better than the other, but I wouldn''t feel right having them be in the bridal party...

But the closer we get the more I''m regretting not asking her to be a part of it since it was my original plan. So the past two weeks I''ve been trying to figure out how I can approach the subject with her. I would still love for her to be part of the wedding party if she would like to be, the girls haven''t ordered their dresses yet, but I don''t want her to feel like I''m doing her a favor... thats not the case at all.

I know I should''ve addressed this months ago, but I''m horrible at these things

It took me months to ask my SIL to be part of the wedding, and my two sisters I never really asked properly it just kind of came out when I told them I was engaged actually! lol. My friend that I asked, it happened to work itself into a conversation via text message (how personal, I know)! But with my FSIL, it just never happened and I convinced myself that she wouldn''t want to be in the wedding anyhow because of the extra cost, etc etc....

So would it be odd for me to explain all of this to her, why I never asked her before, and then let her know that I would love for her to be one of my bridesmaids? Should I just let it go and deal with it that I waited too long? The wedding is this September.

I''m feeling very lost here.

 

[bee*]

I''d just ask her, but then I''m quite upfront and just asked my bridesmaids straight away. Explaining what you''re explained to us here would be great.

 

[partyjewels]

I guess part of the problem is if I''m going to do this I''m not sure how to bring it up! I''m so awful with this stuff, I get all shy about it. The easiest way would be in like an e-mail or something, but I don''t want it to come across the wrong way... besides that since she''s had her little one she hardly checks her e-mail anymore, she just never seems to find the time to get online which I totally get...but I don''t know how to bring it up in person either. Maybe I could ask her if she wants to go looking for something having to do with the wedding and bring it up that way?

 

[IWantAMilkshake]

Date: 2/13/2008 3:03:06 PM
Author:partyjewels
FI has three sisters, one of which I''m pretty close with. I had intended to ask her to be one of my bridesmaids, but then the time came and I just kinda froze! I guess I kinda just figured it was better not to ask her because for one, they''re still getting used to the extra expenses of having a baby, and her husband is in the wedding. That means they''d have to rent a tux (and actually he''s in another wedding earlier this year too), buy a dress, and she''d have to make sure someone was going to watch her daughter. Because no matter how much FSIL wants her to be a flower girl, it''s not happening -she''ll be about 1 and a half by our wedding and to me it''s just too young. But aside from that, I didn''t want to cause any hurt feelings by asking just one of the sisters even though shes the only one I''m really close too. I get along fine with the other two, one better than the other, but I wouldn''t feel right having them be in the bridal party...

But the closer we get the more I''m regretting not asking her to be a part of it since it was my original plan. So the past two weeks I''ve been trying to figure out how I can approach the subject with her. I would still love for her to be part of the wedding party if she would like to be, the girls haven''t ordered their dresses yet, but I don''t want her to feel like I''m doing her a favor... thats not the case at all.

I know I should''ve addressed this months ago, but I''m horrible at these things

It took me months to ask my SIL to be part of the wedding, and my two sisters I never really asked properly it just kind of came out when I told them I was engaged actually! lol. My friend that I asked, it happened to work itself into a conversation via text message (how personal, I know)! But with my FSIL, it just never happened and I convinced myself that she wouldn''t want to be in the wedding anyhow because of the extra cost, etc etc....

So would it be odd for me to explain all of this to her, why I never asked her before, and then let her know that I would love for her to be one of my bridesmaids? Should I just let it go and deal with it that I waited too long? The wedding is this September.

I''m feeling very lost here.

I don''t think this helps with FSIL, but re: her daughter, I might have my niece who''s one and a half as my flower girl...just have someone pull her in a wagon and help her toss instead of eat the flowers!

 

[partyjewels]

I don''t think this helps with FSIL, but re: her daughter, I might have my niece who''s one and a half as my flower girl...just have someone pull her in a wagon and help her toss instead of eat the flowers!

LOL at the "toss instead of eat the flowers". Thanks for the suggestion, I''ve heard many, and I''m well aware that there are ways to have them be part of the wedding even if they aren''t really old enough to walk down the isle. But the fact of the matter is, it''s just not happening. We actually weren''t sure we wanted kids AT the wedding at all, but got bullied into it. Besides that, if we had her in the wedding we would need to include my three nephews as well. I love my nephews, and I love my future niece, but none of them are going to be in our wedding.

 

[IWantAMilkshake]

I understand. We too are not allowing children at our wedding, with the exception of my niece because she''s an infant. For some reason an infant seems different than a kid that will run around screaming.

 

[partyjewels]

Screaming is FI''s nieces favorite activity right now lol. But I do totally appreciate how cute the little ones look in their pretty dresses. hehe.