what to do at the reception

[brazen_irish_hussy]

I have a bit of a conundrum and I am hoping some of you lovely ladies can help. We don’t quite know what to do with the reception.

Some background:
We are having 75-100 people, mostly family. My mom’s family and my dad’s get along well enough although the have little in common. My FI’s family is more like a battle zone with warring factions. What’s worse, although they have never met my family, they have decided they hate them because my parents make far more money. In fact, we are about 6 months from the wedding and our parents haven’t met yet. His family also hates me for the most part and doesn’t approve of the wedding leaving the situation VERY tense. So mingling is discouraged and we are doing seated dinners with assigned seats to help the tension.

No one dances and these are not exactly “party people” so what will they do at the reception? We are hoping to have an Irish band but no DJ. Without dancing and not a whole lot of talking going on though, it seems very bleak to me.

This is weighing on me very heavily and I am at a total loss. An advice or reassurance would be great. Given the state of the family situation, I am hoping the reception doesn’t turn out too memorable.

 

[Independent Gal]

Oh dear. The only thing I can think to suggest is whether there might be any way, any way at all, to bring them to their senses BEFORE the wedding?

Otherwise, I''d make dinner loooong and the party short. And lots of fun loud music.

 

[swingirl]

Don''t assume that they aren''t dancing people. If you like to dance include that in your plans. Everyone likes music, especially live music as the musicians are often times the show. And won''t there be anyone out of 75-100 people young enough to dance?

It''s your party. You should have the things you enjoy and let your guests enjoy it if they want or visit with other relatives or sit in the corner or leave early. You can''t plan your reception for people who seem difficult in the first place.

 

[diamondfan]

that is tough. you already have known conflicts. really hard to say how people will behave, if they will get their acts together for them to make it through the wedding and behave the right way.

 

[Gypsy]

I would suggest A LOT OF ALCOHOL. But then I''m afraid of someone getting belligerent. Too bad Pot is illegal. I hear it mellows people out. You could have the smoke like pipped in or something. Like a Cheech and Chong movie. Okay.... so real options.

Can you hire some kind of an act? Like a Murder mystery theater type wedding theme. Or dancers... like thost stomping line dancers. Or something for entertainment that keep everyone focused on THAT and not on each other.

Sounds like a recipe to elope, honestly though. ((HUGS)) honey.

 

[monarch64]

Deco, you''re hilarious, as usual. I''m just picturing a reception with bongs at the tables and everyone singing I''d Like to Teach the World to Sing...in Perfect Harmony.

This is a tough situation, Brazen! I would hope though, that both your families can be given the benefit of doubt and that they will be cordial and civilized during your reception. I can''t see anyone wanting to hurt you or your FI by causing a stink at your wedding...but it wouldn''t be the first time things have gone awry at a wedding. Ummm, eloping is apparently not an option at all? Not trying to make light of things, but I honestly can''t think of any great advice to offer. I do think super loud music could be a good thing, though, as IndyGal pointed out. Best of luck, try not to worry toooo much.

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

Date: 3/1/2008 11:35:58 PM
Author: Gypsy
I would suggest A LOT OF ALCOHOL. But then I'm afraid of someone getting belligerent. Too bad Pot is illegal. I hear it mellows people out. You could have the smoke like pipped in or something. Like a Cheech and Chong movie. Okay.... so real options.

Can you hire some kind of an act? Like a Murder mystery theater type wedding theme. Or dancers... like thost stomping line dancers. Or something for entertainment that keep everyone focused on THAT and not on each other.

Sounds like a recipe to elope, honestly though. ((HUGS)) honey.

I so wish I could elope and it is what I have wanted from the begining but for a number of reasons, it is out.

I would love to get everyone drunk, but guess what? We have a bunch of recovered alcoholics so almost half my side of the family can't drink!
Plus, I am afriad of what my FMIL will be like drunk. She is a true terror sober and most of the "warring factions" can agree on one thing and that is that my FMIL is immpossible. She hasn't talked to much of her family that is coming since my FI and I started dating almost 5 years ago. I have family that likes to "poke badgers with spoons" ie stir up trouble without getting in a fight. That is the last thing my FI's family needs.

I keep threatening my FI with my being a 2 dress bride so I can step dance at the wedding but the pain I am having finding one dress leaves that out of the question. Unfortunately, my old dance troupe is no longer together because I would love to have them.

 

[monarch64]

Mmmm...I still would think about hiring a DJ, BIH. The Irish band will be great for cocktail hour and dinner, but people expect some diversity in music during the reception... Plus, you may be underestimating the crowd, plenty of people love to dance but you''d never know it based on their everyday behavior.