What's the Oddest, Strangest, Funniest Gift You've Received?

[Girlrocks]

Re: What's the Oddest, Strangest, Funniest Gift You've Recei

When I was 19 I started dating a guy and we dated for 5 years. My family always included him in our holiday celebrations, but his family never did...he was the baby, raised by his grandparents and they weren't too happy that I was "stealing" her grandson from her. After 4 years, they finally invited me over to Christmas. The family all sit around and take turns opening presents while everyone stares and then oohs and aahs at the opener.

My turn...I opened a shoebox which held an unwrapped bar of Dove soap and a kitchen sponge. Apparently cheap*ss grandma thought this was the equivalent to one of those nice bathsoap sets. 2 of the aunts literally had their mouths wide open staring at the box. I got up and left. Shortly after that I broke it off, I knew I would never be welcomed or accepted by the family. And I hate the smell of Dove soap after that!

 

[LGK]

Re: What's the Oddest, Strangest, Funniest Gift You've Recei

Oh jeez. My MIL is the most amazingly weird gift giver ever, in a not so pleasant way. My mom is just wrap-happy and will gift wrap *anything*, which is a bit strange but cute.

One year when DH was growing up he'd purchased this cool Star Wars toy with his own money, mail order. He waited and waited and it never came. He gave up on ever seeing it. Guess what mom gave him that year? Yup, the Star Wars toy. She'd taken it and wrapped it and gave it to him as his Xmas gift!

One year, after I'd been living with DH for some years, but we weren't married, MIL gave me a whole bunch of baby blue things. Now, I'm utterly goth and was even more so back then. At that time, studded collars weren't uncommon in my wardrobe . So she'd given me these flower sprigged baby blue ruffly things, shirts and pins and things, all clearly used. She looked *right at me*- in the face- and said, "I got them to match your eyes." My eyes are pretty much black- really really really dark brown. She was looking right at me and said that! I had *no* clue what to say to that one...

Once she gave me a used teddy from Goodwill with a weird balloon print. I was afraid to even touch it to throw it away. Like it looked like it had been, um, worn. Ew. Double ew.

Oh, and the last year we spoke with her- probably four years ago now- she gave DH a box of (some of) the stuff she'd stolen from him over the years. It included some stonewashed jeans c.1980s which probably fit him when he was 12, a few stuffed animals, and a selection of used books. Now *that* was a memorable xmas gift... He really was hoping for his collection of rare comics she'd stolen from him in college- but the stonewashed jeans, not so much.

My mom has been known to wrap batteries, light bulbs and various other things that go with other things, just because she can't control the gift wrapping impulse. I do recall at the age of 16 or 17, her giving one of my friends, who she was letting live with me, a garlic crusher. I know she really just had no money and really wanted to give my friend something, *anything*, but a basically homeless teenager and a garlic crusher were kind of an odd match! My friend was very polite about the whole thing, which was cool.

 

[iLander]

Re: What's the Oddest, Strangest, Funniest Gift You've Recei

Edited to add: here's a picture of the Murky Dismal doll. It's ugly. You've been warned.

http://www.ioffer.com/i/Rainbow-Brite-MURKY-DISMAL-DOLL-1983-MISB-82621646

I love this hideous thing! It looks like a nauseous Mario! Your mom's a hoot!

Thanks! I think you and she would get along very well. Your story about how you are ignoring your husband about dishes reminded me of something she would do. LOL!

I will take that as a high compliment, Danny!

But let's be clear; just because I REMIND you of your mom, it does not mean I am OLD enough to be your mom!

In fact, DH and I have an understanding; I am 38 and he does NOT have grey hair. Yup. It's "sexy silver". We won't go into my part of the bargain, but when I'm with the kids I tell them to scrunch down and walk with their knees bent . . .

WAIT A MINUTE . . . Danny, did that doll resemble you? Did you have a Mario 'stach?

If so, I would have bought you two!

As well you should, but I know you're not old enough to be my mom!

And no, that doll didn't resemble me at all! Just my mood at that time apparently.

Well that's a relief! I thought it was in the '70's when every guy was sporting "the Mario". . . I think it's only for foreign **** stars now. . .

Your mom was obviously trying to lift your mood with a goofy gift, and you're right, I think she and I would get along great.

 

[iLander]

Re: What's the Oddest, Strangest, Funniest Gift You've Recei

When I was 19 I started dating a guy and we dated for 5 years. My family always included him in our holiday celebrations, but his family never did...he was the baby, raised by his grandparents and they weren't too happy that I was "stealing" her grandson from her. After 4 years, they finally invited me over to Christmas. The family all sit around and take turns opening presents while everyone stares and then oohs and aahs at the opener.

My turn...I opened a shoebox which held an unwrapped bar of Dove soap and a kitchen sponge. Apparently cheap*ss grandma thought this was the equivalent to one of those nice bathsoap sets. 2 of the aunts literally had their mouths wide open staring at the box. I got up and left. Shortly after that I broke it off, I knew I would never be welcomed or accepted by the family. And I hate the smell of Dove soap after that!

Good call on walking away from that one! They're just whacked!

 

[iLander]

Re: What's the Oddest, Strangest, Funniest Gift You've Recei

Oh jeez. My MIL is the most amazingly weird gift giver ever, in a not so pleasant way.

LGK, I left you a note about your MIL over in pearls, and again, she sounds like a toxic personality. Be glad she's not part of your life. I bet she was very spoiled as a child and extremely self-centered. No empathy for anyone. She's a lost cause.

And your poor mom, she's trying so hard, what a sweetie. . .

 

[Steel]

Re: What's the Oddest, Strangest, Funniest Gift You've Recei

ILander: I wouldn't say it but a jersey to me would be a sweatshirt - usually associated with a specific sporting team. Either that the breed of cow or the island.

 

[iLander]

Re: What's the Oddest, Strangest, Funniest Gift You've Recei

ILander: I wouldn't say it but a jersey to me would be a sweatshirt - usually associated with a specific sporting team. Either that the breed of cow or the island.

Sorry, Steal, I misspoke.

"Jumper". I've been trying to figure out what a jumper is. From the context it appears to be a type of shirt.

Have you heard of a "Jumper"?

It took me years to figure out what "steal a march on your friends" meant!

 

[davi_el_mejor]

Re: What's the Oddest, Strangest, Funniest Gift You've Recei

Dog Treats.

The better half's mother sent home a big wrapped bag of dog treats addressed to me. We have two dogs, but I get the treats.

ETA: I am roflmao over your other presents! Can't wait to see what kind of stuff I get from the MIL Equivalent this year

 

[Steel]

Re: What's the Oddest, Strangest, Funniest Gift You've Recei

ILander: I wouldn't say it but a jersey to me would be a sweatshirt - usually associated with a specific sporting team. Either that the breed of cow or the island.

Sorry, Steal, I misspoke.

"Jumper". I've been trying to figure out what a jumper is. From the context it appears to be a type of shirt.

Have you heard of a "Jumper"?

It took me years to figure out what "steal a march on your friends" meant!

Easy peasy!

A jumper is a knitted sweatshirt.

We all wear jumpers. Kids wear school jumper with the school emblem on it. It is a traditional gift too for Dad's; if you are stuck for a present for a man - buy him a jumper. Can be round neck, turtleneck, v-neck, any kind of neck. If it has buttons or poppers/zip (etc) all the way down so it opens fully at the front it becomes a cardigan. BTW, I call a turtleneck a roll neck.

ETA: It would be a second layer clothing item or third if you wore a vest. So (vest) shirt then jumper then coat.

I still don't get why the classic court + sharp heel = a pump. Or why bangs is an equivalent term to a fringe . But I much prefer binky or paci to dummy, stroller to pram and diaper to nappy.

 

[Gayletmom]

Re: What's the Oddest, Strangest, Funniest Gift You've Recei

The weirdest gift I've ever gotten was the year my FIL gave us a toilet plunger. It was not your "average" plunger but one of those with sort of a round rubber ball on the end. He apparently thought this was a very clever invention and wrapped it up with a bow and everything! He's an engineer-can you tell? We didn't know what to think but just said thank you.

I do use it once in a while and it always makes me shake my head.

 

[ts44]

Re: What's the Oddest, Strangest, Funniest Gift You've Recei

The strangest thing I've ever received was a wedding present from DH's cousin. She is delightful, but her gift gave us pause. We have no idea what it is! As near as we can tell, it's a wooden box from Target that has been liberally covered in scrapbooking stickers and cut-out papers that say things like "journey" and "imagine". There's also flowers painted on it, and a light pink crocheted fringe running around the middle with mother-of-pearl disks hanging from it, giving the effect of a hula skirt. The best part is that there are wooden finials stuck to the bottom like feet, painted in pink and beige and looking frankly like oversized nipples. The whole thing is a foot tall and has a large brass knob on the lid. We call it our Whimsical Box of Whimsy and discovered it exactly fits one roll of toilet paper, so we keep it in the guest bathroom. It's my favorite wedding gift of all!

 

[Laughinggravy0]

Re: What's the Oddest, Strangest, Funniest Gift You've Recei

ts44 that had me laughing out loud - fab. Whimsical box of whimsy. Hysterical and perfect for loo paper - sounds ideal.

Okay so now, my boyfriend and, later, erstwhile husband (and this is not the reason for our separation, I actually thought it was rather sweet in an odd sort of way) on our first Christmas together, had lots of intriguing parcels for me under the tree. Now I'm a pathological and tho I say it myself, gifted peeker. I peek out of self defense because my mother was an odd gift giver and used to get deeply miffed if you didn't show the correct amount of gratitude. So I found it was best to prepare myself. travel iron at 13 years old. And a complete set of suitcases at the front door one year, when I was 12. I actually wondered who was leaving but they were for me because I went to boarding school and she thought they'd be useful.

Anyhoo, good job I sneaked peeks because in the most interesting, small, quite heavy box there were..... AA batteries. In a slightly larger oddly shaped package there was a ball of string. And the dense, heavy, solid package was a set of five tape cassettes. The string was for a kite - which is a good present. The batteries were for a torch (meh) and the cassettes were just cassettes. oh oh oh, and there was a box of camera film which really had me going. Just the size of a jewellry box.

Maaaan was I glad I'd prepared myself!!!!!! smiled just fine the next day and he looked all worried because as he said, he'd never had much practice and wasn't sure he'd quite got it right. Too funny.

 

[iLander]

Re: What's the Oddest, Strangest, Funniest Gift You've Recei

I peek out of self defense because my mother was an odd gift giver and used to get deeply miffed if you didn't show the correct amount of gratitude. So I found it was best to prepare myself. travel iron at 13 years old.


Maaaan was I glad I'd prepared myself!!!!!! smiled just fine the next day and he looked all worried because as he said, he'd never had much practice and wasn't sure he'd quite got it right. Too funny.

LOL! Laughinggravy! I think you might be right about self-defensive peeking!

There is a gift for me under the tree that is the same size and weight as luv2sparkle's Santa brick!

 

[Laughinggravy0]

Re: What's the Oddest, Strangest, Funniest Gift You've Recei

It'll be a box of blank videos... bwhahhahhhhahhhhhhhh oh oh oh I can use my absolutely fav emotie.......

 

[kelpie]

Re: What's the Oddest, Strangest, Funniest Gift You've Recei

A jar of "happy rice" from my then boyfriend's aunt. I know she whipped it out of her pantry when we dropped by their open house on christmas eve. His gift was $200 cash. I kept it because it makes me laugh at how bizarre it is. I thought it was strange she felt the need to give us anything, but she is very generous. A more recent year it was the same thing only with tea lights. What will this year bring?

 

[vintagelover229]

Re: What's the Oddest, Strangest, Funniest Gift You've Recei

My family doesn't have a lot of money, so most of the gifts we get are from thrift stores, yard sales, etc (you can find great stuff there too!) but the first year my ex and I were married, we drove from Texas to my moms for christmas. My grandma has a friend who's been in the family for years (he's in his 70's now) and he was also invited to the christmas get together. I had already warned my ex that gifts are "unique" (I get used clothes that my mom buys that is to big for her...which makes it HUGE on me...with ink stains and stuff, or dollar store thongs ) so he was prepared. However, not even I was prepared for this!

So, the male friend hands my ex a Styrofoam box from a gas station which is tapped shut (the big clear tape) and he opens it to find snack pack pudding, pringles, a microwave egg omelet maker, etc (stuff you can find around your house). What happened next still amazes me to this day, (his name is Mel) Mel says to my ex...isn't it amazing what people throw away? I found that (disposable) cooler in the garbage at the gas station.

We didn't have enough room for most of the gifts (small car) so many of them got left behind. Including the wine rack that my mom wrapped up for my ex...she thought it was a whiskey rack and said it was for his Jack Daniels (which won't fit in the rack cuz it's square, lol).

Never a dull gift for any occasion at my families house!

 

[somethingshiny]

Re: What's the Oddest, Strangest, Funniest Gift You've Recei

The funniest gift was what my mom gave to my SIL, sis and I. Vibrators. Yes, you read that right, ladies and gentlemen, sex toys all around! She thought they were back massagers --"the girl on the package is holding it at her neck." Uh, mom, did you see the SHAPE of this "back massager" or how about the suction cup on SIL's?? My bro still refers to that year as the "Rubber D*** Christmas." lol. Still funny even today.

 

[marcy]

Re: What's the Oddest, Strangest, Funniest Gift You've Recei

I was well known for snooping before packages were wrapped and also for being able to figure out what was wrapped in the package so my family worked harder each year to try and keep my Christmas presents from one. One year I had only one present under the tree and I couldn't guess what it was and not for lack of trying. Christmas morning arrived and I finally opened my mystery package - it was a used toilet seat. My parents told me that was payback for all those years of snooping and figuring out my gifts. My gifts were wrapped in the car trunk and I got them after dinner that day. I quit snooping after that but I do still shake packages.

 

[Indylady]

Re: What's the Oddest, Strangest, Funniest Gift You've Recei

A porcelain urn.

I got it for my highschool graduation from a family friend. Said family friend then told me that she bought it for my room because she thought it really fit my tastes. I wonder if she knew it was an urn?

 

[dianne]

Re: What's the Oddest, Strangest, Funniest Gift You've Recei

My DH's aunt gave me Pooh!!!

Winnie the Pooh, that is...but, trust me, I felt the same way about the gift, either way.

It was a bottle of Winnie the Pooh bubble bath (bubble gum scented) accompanied with a Piglet bath scrubbie. Bizarre.

 

[anchor31]

Re: What's the Oddest, Strangest, Funniest Gift You've Recei

The weirdest gift I've seen so far was not given to me, but to my DH. Last fall, FIL and MIL went to Florida and FIL brought back for DH a t-shirt with a naked woman on a motorcycle on the back. And then for his birthday, a friend gave him a t-shirt and a deck of cards from Hooters. Come on, those aren't things you give to a married father...

 

[BoulderGal]

Re: What's the Oddest, Strangest, Funniest Gift You've Recei

The funniest gift was what my mom gave to my SIL, sis and I. Vibrators. Yes, you read that right, ladies and gentlemen, sex toys all around! She thought they were back massagers --"the girl on the package is holding it at her neck." Uh, mom, did you see the SHAPE of this "back massager" or how about the suction cup on SIL's?? My bro still refers to that year as the "Rubber D*** Christmas." lol. Still funny even today.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Now that's funny!!! You just made my morning!

BG

 

[LGK]

Re: What's the Oddest, Strangest, Funniest Gift You've Recei

Oh my. This year is shaping up to be a *great* one for teh weird.

Today I got to work and there were three beautifully wrapped gifts on my desk. One, addressed to me & DH, contained: two hand towels. Nice ones, yes, but still pretty funny.

Second one, a wrapped jar with just my name on it had: a weird rubber thing that looks like a smooshed waffle cut french fry. After much pondering- each of the women staff got one- we decided it *had* to be a jar opener. The gifter had apparently cut them out of a big roll of this weird rubber subtance.

Third one, a wrapped jar with my husband's name on it was: a small LED light, the kind that you screw on and off that can be mounted on stuff. The other male staff member got one. (This was from the rubber thingy gifter, apparently the rubber thingies weren't appropriate for the guys?)

It was super sweet of the dealer who went to all the trouble to give us the gifts- I mean, there's 200 dealers and she really, really didn't need to give everyone on staff a gift. She went to a lot of trouble to decorate the jars and stuff. But the gift? TOTALLY HILARIOUS!

We had one dealer that gave everyone a zucchini loaf every year for xmas. He passed away maybe 5 years ago. His son took over the space. And he kept giving the zucchini bread for like three years. I thought his dad had passed on the recipe- nope! They were still frozen from when his dad had made them, years ago. Lol. Still tasty though.

 

[iLander]

Re: What's the Oddest, Strangest, Funniest Gift You've Recei

We had one dealer that gave everyone a zucchini loaf every year for xmas. He passed away maybe 5 years ago. His son took over the space. And he kept giving the zucchini bread for like three years. I thought his dad had passed on the recipe- nope! They were still frozen from when his dad had made them, years ago.Lol. Still tasty though.

5 years ago? Oh, my . . .

But it sort of an object lesson on the dangers of planting/growing of zucchini isn't it? Zucchini is both a blessing and a curse to most gardeners.

I assume his dad grew the zucchini . . .or got a REALLY good deal on it!

Twenty years ago, we used to live in a house that had 5 orange trees in the yard, full grown. We thought we could use up a LOT of them by making marmalade. Turns out five oranges filled up 12 pint jars! It was delicious to eat while we pondered what to do with about 40 bushels of oranges.

 

[iLander]

Re: What's the Oddest, Strangest, Funniest Gift You've Recei

I was well known for snooping before packages were wrapped and also for being able to figure out what was wrapped in the package so my family worked harder each year to try and keep my Christmas presents from one. One year I had only one present under the tree and I couldn't guess what it was and not for lack of trying. Christmas morning arrived and I finally opened my mystery package - it was a used toilet seat. My parents told me that was payback for all those years of snooping and figuring out my gifts. My gifts were wrapped in the car trunk and I got them after dinner that day. I quit snooping after that but I do still shake packages.

I like your parents!

 

[marcy]

Re: What's the Oddest, Strangest, Funniest Gift You've Recei

Somethingshiny, I am still laughing about your vibrators.

Too funny iLander.

 

[LGK]

Re: What's the Oddest, Strangest, Funniest Gift You've Recei

We had one dealer that gave everyone a zucchini loaf every year for xmas. He passed away maybe 5 years ago. His son took over the space. And he kept giving the zucchini bread for like three years. I thought his dad had passed on the recipe- nope! They were still frozen from when his dad had made them, years ago.Lol. Still tasty though.

5 years ago? Oh, my . . .

But it sort of an object lesson on the dangers of planting/growing of zucchini isn't it? Zucchini is both a blessing and a curse to most gardeners.

I assume his dad grew the zucchini . . .or got a REALLY good deal on it!

Twenty years ago, we used to live in a house that had 5 orange trees in the yard, full grown. We thought we could use up a LOT of them by making marmalade. Turns out five oranges filled up 12 pint jars! It was delicious to eat while we pondered what to do with about 40 bushels of oranges.

OH too funny! I know when I grew up in a house with a nice old cherry tree in the back yard we had *no* clue what to do with them all, and everyone was sick of cherries at the end of the season.

Honestly, I have no idea where Bob got his zucchini... I'm guessing he grew it but who knows.

OK, I also had to add: we figured out what the weird rubbery stuff is. Shelf liner. Used shelf liner. One of my friends came in to work to visit me and was inspecting it quizzically and she sniffed it. (Brave, brave girl!) And she said, "Whoa. This smells like old lady pantry!" It did. I just about died laughing. The rest of the staff just about had hysterics watching this... since they all had their own designated jar-o-used-shelf-liner too.

One of my co-workers snitched DH's LED light. She is threatening to re-gift it to one of us when we least expect it. She'll do it, too. Lord, if only the woman who gave us the shelf liner squares and the light only knew how much amusement they've given us! (Well, OK, perhaps best she doesn't )

 

[iLander]

Re: What's the Oddest, Strangest, Funniest Gift You've Recei

It was super sweet of the dealer who went to all the trouble to give us the gifts- I mean, there's 200 dealers and she really, really didn't need to give everyone on staff a gift. She went to a lot of trouble to decorate the jars and stuff..

Actually, I thought about this, and you couldn't PAY me to do something 200 times in a row. I couldn't touch my nose 200 times without getting tired . . .

Gotta admire the dealer's stamina.

 

[charbie]

Re: What's the Oddest, Strangest, Funniest Gift You've Recei

I must have been on Santas naughty list this year.
I got 4 things from my husband: only 1 was on my list. The one thing on my list was a pair of 5 fingers shoes. I got an entertainment book (something we normally give to each other together...hmmk.) and a mousepad, and a pair of footed pajamas. The hooded/footed pajamas are pepto bismal pink and I look like the kid from "a christmas story"- all I could do was ask him why??? I felt terrible, but I just started bawling since I had gone out of my way to make sure he got everything on his list taken care of. I spent right up to the limit we set (he was probably $75 under the limit. I feel like a whiney baby, but now its going to be such a hassle and waste of money to now return the crap he gave me.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Re: What's the Oddest, Strangest, Funniest Gift You've Recei

My funny gifts are jewelery related.

When I was about 10, my friends got me a set of lovely and super cute silver earrings. When I opened them, I smiled, said thank you and inspected the cute details (one pair were shaped like teddy bears, adorable). They insisted I try them on for them, only to realize, I don't wear earrings (never pierced my ears!)

When I was dating my DH, he got me a 1 year dating anniversary present. I tear off the wrapping, and it's a box from Jared, and my inner voice goes "shiny!". I open the box, and it's a aquamarine briolette pendant in yellow gold, which I thought was interesting because briolettes aren't particularly "mainstream" and I wondered how he picked it out. The mystery was soon explained for me though. After I told him I loved it, he said:
"Yeah, I figured you would. It looks exactly like that other necklace you like so much. It's why I picked it."
Male logic at work. Only a man would buy you a piece of jewelery that you already own and think it's the most clever thing in the world.