when to open gifts

[janinegirly]

i''ve gotten a few gifts (6 wks before the wedding). i thought etiquette said to open right away and send thank you note, but one of fi''s friends was a little disappointed that we''d opened his and said "aren''t you supposed to wait till after the wedding?"
i''m kinda confused...either way is fine with me, but what is most proper?

 

[Independent Gal]

Well, I''m pretty sure this is not the ''proper'' etiquette by any stretch, but here''s what I would do:

1) when it arrives OPEN IT! How can you resist? Plus it spreads out the pleasure.
2) then send a casual, informal e-mail or something saying ''your gift arrived! thank you for sending it. can''t wait to see you at the wedding'' and don''t mention you opened it. that way they know it arrived safe and sound.
3) then send the formal thank you card after the wedding

 

[robbie3982]

We''ve been opening and sending thank yous as gifts come. I''d never heard that you were supposed to wait until after the wedding to open them.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

The more thank you notes you send out in advance, the less you have to do after the wedding/honeymoon!

 

[fleur-de-lis]

You''re supposed to open immediately to check for damage. (Traditionally, items then used to be displayed on a table in the bride''s parents'' home for when they received guests in the days leading up to the wedding, and the bride would write out thank you notes as she received items to keep on top of things. Thank you notes mailed out before the wedding were to be written on her maiden stationery.) You''re not supposed to USE the items, however, until after the wedding has taken place.

Janinegirly, unless your fiance''s male friend is gay and fabulous, I''d say it''s pretty likely that he wasn''t basing his knowledge on Amy Vanderbilt''s etiquette guide. There is no confusion-- opening the gift upon receipt (but not using it yet) is proper.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Janine!!!

Hey, Girl!!! It''s Nicole (unsurewhat2do)!! I found this forum a couple of months ago when deciding on a wedding band (I found the Rocky Talky forum) and saw that there was an area for brides, so I just enjoyed reading about other people''s wedding planning experiences and recently came out of lurkdom!

So great to see you here! I say rip open those packages, send the thank you note and take one thing off of that "to do" list!

 

[jcrow]

i opened all gifts as i got them. and more than likely used them.
i sent a thank you notes, cause people start asking if we received their gifts.

 

[janinegirly]

nicole..no way!!!! and here i was wondering who was this person with a wedding around the same time as mine with great color schemes!

you''ll love this forum..more active than the other one, but i still go there for straight etiquette questions.
welcome!!!!!

PS: now i''ll have to go check rocky talk for what band you went with (since we seem to be on the same page as everything else!)

 

[janinegirly]

thank you fleur, exactly the kind of clarity i was looking for

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I opened then as soon as they were delivered. I waited to send thank yous (unless we got the gift MONTHS in advance) til after the wedding b/c we used a wedding photo on our thank yous.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

There seem to be some really sweet and fun ladies around here, so I''m really glad I found it!

Did you guys get your bands? I ordered an eternity ring with 7 point round brilliants several weeks ago and it''s supposed to come in tomorrow. Unfortunately now I wish I''d gone with 5 point diamonds because I think the one I ordered might overwhelm the step cut of my asscher (it has small non-step-cut side stones). The jeweller told me that a half eternity would be more comfortable, but if I change it to 5 point stones, I might go ahead and do the 3/4 eternity. I don''t know, I have a feeling there is going to be some tweeking unless I see it tomorrow and love it as is.

I think D is just going to go with a plain platinum band and I''ll probably order one for myself as well so we have matching rings and I have a plain band to wear. I plan to just wear the eternity ring and/or the band most of the time, though I still want the wedding band to complement the e-ring when I do wear them together.

I''m going to have to check out some of your posts to get some details of your wedding!

Sorry about the thread hijack, by the way, I just wanted to say hello!! I plan to stick around!

 

[janinegirly]

new england/nicole~
i know we should really start our own "catching up thread".
i''m glad you brought up bands, we''re still in the final stages. i know what i want but still trying to find the best vendor (too many choices in nyc).
anyway, i''ve decided on a shared prong eternity band with diamonds all the way around. my fingers are very tiny (4.5) so even though some jewelers recommended the 7pt, it was just ridiculously huge on my finger and yes, overwhelmed my engagement ring which is very elegant and classic.
So i''m realizing 3pt is the way to go for me. it''ll be fine if i wear it alone too. my FI is going with platinum miligrain...but it''s so much easier for them!
do you think you''ll stick with your current band...it sounds lovely

to all the other ladies, sorry for the thread subject switch--thanks for the advice on gifts..thankful that i didn''t commit any faux pas by opening up the presents like it was christmas morning!

 

[FireGoddess]

Date: 8/14/2007 7:12:15 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
I opened then as soon as they were delivered. I waited to send thank yous (unless we got the gift MONTHS in advance) til after the wedding b/c we used a wedding photo on our thank yous.

That''s what I did too. Though a lot of people who sent gifts ahead asked whether we got them or not. So perhaps sending an informal ''thanks'' as soon as you receive it is not a bad idea.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Sounds perfect, Janine! I love the sparkle of an eternity band with 3 pointers, in fact that was the first one I tried on because I really liked it the most. I think it''s perfect for a 4.5 size finger (so jealous!) but my ring size is a 7.75 and it just didn''t quite look right

I didn''t realize you were in NYC, I travel there for work pretty often. I''m supposed to go next week for work and have considered looking for band and returning the one I ordered (the policy is 14 days) if I find somethign I like more. I didn''t realize finding a band was going to be so challenging