Why you should settle for "Mr. Good Enough."

[smiles]

i have been keeping up with this thread and it has had me thinking about my relationship. like some others that posted i sometimes feel like if you look at my relationship some would say she settled.
i am in university (im in canada here) with very clear goals of what i want to acheive and am generally a serious person. my bf took all lower streamed courses in high school went to college dropped out and is now becoming an electrician. he is spontaneous and wants to enjoy his life.
i never thought about what i wanted in a partner beyond someone who respects me but he has helped me understand what i look for and why we work so well. he makes me have fun, take chances do things and go places i wouldnt on my own or without some convincing. i remind him when it is time to be serious and focused. we compromise - he like someone elses bf will get dressed up and take me to the ballet and at least try and enjoy the music (i love dancing he loves instruments) and he will make sure he buckles down when it is serious time and i will agree to spend the day with him without planning it all out first and jsut seeing how it goes and where it takes us.
anyways i digress - my point is i dont think anyone can look at anothers relationship from the outside and know whether they settled. also, based on other points made about the author she reminds me of dr.phil who was divorced once himself
sorry if this was long

 

[LegacyGirl]

Date: 2/12/2008 3:31:50 PM
Author: sandia_rose

Date: 2/10/2008 11:20:39 AM
Author: LegacyGirl

I always thought I would end up with a smoking hot doctor, lawyer, or plastic surgeon but I didn't. On the other hand I don't feel like I settled at all. I'm treated like a princess and we have so much fun together. I know people talk and may think I'm settling but I can't imagine being with anyone else. I've been told our relationship looks insane to other people.... I'm a lawyer- he's in the tattoo industry, I'm very clean cut and well educated- he's covered in tattoos and piercings and pursued art in college, I'm on the smallish side and Italian- he's huge and Vietnamese. But you know what? When I have to do something he has no problem putting on a nice suit (and he looks good too!) and when we go out with his group I somehow manage to pull out the stick that is wedged up you know where

. I get along with his friends too, most of them are so nice one you get to know them. We've learned to get along and compromise enough to be really happy and I have to admit he's opened my eyes to so many different ways of thinking I know I have greatly advantaged from it.

I have to say the kicker was when he found out how badly I wanted to go to the ballet here. I didn't even bother to ask him because I thought he would never do it (on top of it being a ballet, it was also a law school function for me so a great deal of my professors were there). Well he not only took me, he ran out and got a suit special for the event and tried his best to behave the whole night! Like I said above, on top of how well we get along and have fun together, the willingness to compromise on both our parts has made us incredibly strong. Now if only I can get him to drink wine...

I used to be in the corporate world for years and years. And coming from a poor, single parent household, I had it drilled into my head (unconsciously, but the message still got through) that 'It's just as easy to love a rich man than a poor man.' Well, not to insult anyone on the board who is corporate, but a lot of men in the corporate world are donkey-holes. I dated a lawyer, an oral surgeon and a few accountants. My ex husband is a mechanical engineer. Can you say self-centered? Arrogant? Unimagnative? I know I am generalizing....but it is more often true than not.

After my divorce, I decided to be true to ME. I got out of the corporate world and now have a job where I can go to work in jeans if I want. The last time I wore a suit was to a funeral. And I decided to date men that appealed to ME ONLY....and ignore what looked good on paper. My current BF is in construction. He has his own business and makes a very good living, but I have more education than he does. He went to college for a year before he decided it was not for him; I have two degrees. I also happen to love tattoo artists and bikers. Tattoo artists are almost like unpaid psychiatrists - in addition to being a great artist, you have to have a lot of tact, interpersonal skills and the ability to listen well. Sometimes, you will have to work on a client you don't like. I have a lot of friends who are bikers (the law-abiding kind) and they are some of the earthiest, most honest people you'd ever want to know.

At this point in my life, I'd be 'settling' if I went for Mister Suit & Tie. After all, that's what people expect me to do.

Bridget in Connecticut.

Bridget you and I sound so much alike. I bet you'd love my SO too!

We are also bikers. We own several sportbikes and like to take them to the track and race. My SO actually works Bikeweek and Biketoberfest in Daytona. I'm making plans to go up to Bikeweek right now actually. Eventually we would like to get a big crusier for the both of us for long trips. For now we borrow my Dad's bike.. some of the trips we take are just way too long to be on the sportbikes.

I agree with what you said about corporate guys being jerks. For the most part they are. They tend to be really full of themselves. I don't think I could ever find someone who treats me better than my SO. He may not be 100% "presentable" to people in my profession but I think he's great and I really could care less. He makes the effort for me when I have a function that I need to be at (even though I know he'd probably rather be somewhere else) and I really love that he does that for me.

He's perfect now the way he is. Like I mentioned above I just wish he drank wine

he's the beer type haha.