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worst day ever

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Sweetie, I am SO HAPPY to hear all of this. I honestly almost cried because I''m so impressed hearing all of this and I''m so happy for you. Of course it''s going to be hard, but I''m so glad that you''re staying strong. Have fun in Vegas, that''s going to be so much fun!
 
Hi Rachel,

I''m so glad you''re doing well! I''ve been reading your posts and I''m so proud of you!!! I can only imagine what you''ve been through but it sounds like things are looking up for you. If going to law school has always been a dream of yours, please look into it. I''m so happy that you''re considering that and doing something worthwhile FOR YOU. Yes, it''s a big financial responsibilty, but if it''s what you want, GO FOR IT.
 
I''m so glad to hear you''re doing well. Take care!
 
Thanks for the update! I''m really happy for you.
 
Rachel,

Thanks for checking in!!! You sound great!

Date: 8/13/2007 6:27:18 PM
Author: DiamondSmitten
My mom and friends say this is the most I have smiled and laughed in years. I am acting my age (24). I might even take a LSAT course and look into law school.... something the ex was never ever supportvie of because of the debt that would be involved... but it has always been my dream.... Some songs still make me cry..... but when I am out with my girls on a dancefloor with no guilt and having fun.... its so worth it....
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All of the above makes me SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!! One day you''ll tell this particular part of your life story to someone who really needs to hear it ... and she''ll have the courage to do you what you did!

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Lots of lawyers & law school threads around here ... I''m sure folks can help you if you do choose that exciting path!

BEST OF LUCK!!! (in Vegas too
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Deco
 
Date: 8/13/2007 6:27:18 PM
Author: DiamondSmitten
he even went as far as to say "we both know you bruise easily
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WOW...

i don''t even know what to say. its one thing that guys try to justify everything, but that is sinking lower than i thought possible. that statement right there should do it for you.
 
I''m impressed that you''ve stuck with your gut and held on to your integrity. I''m even more happy than impressed that you are doing well and are finding happiness!

It can''t be easy to run from something where you felt so trapped, but as you''ve found out, you just take it a day at a time. And as you get farther and farther away from the nightmare, you can really see the big picture and what a assh*le that guy really is.

Kudos to you diamondsmitten...you definitely have a story to tell to so many women who are more afraid to be alone than to be in hell with the wrong guy.
 
Wow, what great news! I''m so thrilled to hear you are doing well!!! Have fun in Vegas and have fun being 24 with your whole FABULOUS life ahead of you!!! You''ve come through a lot and you are going in the right direction now! I''m so proud of you!
 
Date: 8/13/2007 9:16:32 PM
Author: sumbride
Wow, what great news! I''m so thrilled to hear you are doing well!!! Have fun in Vegas and have fun being 24 with your whole FABULOUS life ahead of you!!! You''ve come through a lot and you are going in the right direction now! I''m so proud of you!
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Ditto, ditto, ditto! I''m so darn excited for you, DS!!!
 
Great news DS! Kudos for taking care of yourself; have a wonderful time in Vegas w/friends
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Thats WONDERFUL DS!!! Soo happy for you and thank you for letting us know how you are doing!!!
 
Yay! I''m so happy to hear that you''re doing so well! That''s awesome that you''re thinking about law school! Have fun in Vegas!
 
Good girl!!!!!!!!
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I''m so happy to hear you''re doing well Rachel. Thanks for checking in and have a wonderful time in Vegas!
 
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Glad you are doing well!
 
Hooray for you, Rachel! You have so very much to be proud of, and I am happy to hear that things are going so well for you.

Vegas is one of my FAVORITE places...you will have an absolute blast, I''m sure, and you have definitely earned it!

Come back and tell us how your trip went!
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Rachel, you are strong! He does not deserve you. Things will not likely change and would probably get worse. I am sure your family is thrilled to see you smiling again. You SHOULD feel young and happy. You dodge a terrible thing, you got out without marriage and kids involved, and you WILL find someone who is wonderful to you. Just take each day at a time, all things do not have to be perfect or resolved right away...you just have to have faith and keep away from him, no matter what he says or how much he pleads. Calling you a whore and harrassing you is not okay...and only proves how good it is for you to be away from him.
 
That''s great news-Im so happy for you!
 
"Just today he was texting me... wanted to meet for a drink..."

Well, I can''t read all the previous posts so pardon if this is a repeat--so first, congrats on being firm and ending the relationship and having fun with your friends.

I just had to add that it is important to be careful just in case he gets freaky. Some one I know broke up with an abusive husband and he pretended his car was broken along the street he knew she''d be driving, so she stopped to help him out and I''ll end the story at that point cos it gets real sad. So use your sixth sense and please avoid him, no talks no meeting no drinks. Find a way he can give you the money without seeing him.
 
Just in case I wasn''t 100 percent sure I made the right decision (which I totally was) the following revelation came about....

I found out he signed up for classes as a freshman at Rider University...... to become a secondary ed teacher..... which didn''t make sence because NJ has lots of ways to get your teaching certificate without doing school all over again since he graduated with a bachelors in fine arts from School of Visual Arts In NYC in 2004 (two yrs after he should have because he screwed around so much). Now he didn''t attend the ceremony because he said all his real friends finished two yrs before him and it wouldn''t be special for him. Summer of 04 his parents threw him a big ole graduation party at their home where his family, friends, parent''s coworkers, and my extended family (aunts uncles, cousins etc etc) all came to celebrate his accomplishment with cards and gifts etc. He shortly thereafter secured employment with Enterprise Rent A Car in the Management training program where a bachelor''s degree is a requirement and worked there for 3 yrs. Well I decided to ask him via an email why he is starting college from scratch instead of just doing alternate route to a teaching certificate and after 3 years of lies.... he admits.... HE NEVER GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE.... when he was living with me... he failed out so bad in the fall semester he just pretended to go to class in the spring so I wouldn''t be mad......mind you we lived in trenton and his school was in nyc so he either went to nyc and did nothing or just left the apartment for the day ..it gets better..... He forged a diploma to secure employment with Enterprise because they tried to verify his degree with his school...... wait it gets better..... His parents have known the entire time.... including when they threw him the graduation party..... all lies.... they STILL tell his grandma and aunts and uncles etc that he graduated ..... they let everyone they know give him gifts..... and celebrate just so they didn''t look bad and He didn''t look like a failure... AGAIN.... HOW AWFUL IS THAT????

I feel so betrayed... like my last 3 yrs are a even bigger lie....THANK GOD I DIDNT marry that man.... my life would have been sooooo awful. I feel like such a fool.... anytime I ever asked him about wanting to display his diploma or wanting to see it... he would ATTACK me for not trusting him and point out how he works for enterprise so he OBVIOUSLY has a diploma.....his parents have made jokes about how he "finally" did it after so many yrs and blah blah blah..... again... thank god I am not in that relationship and he isn''t my problem......do I feel like a fool... YES..... but his whole family (parents sister and him) are such pathological liars I am not sure he had a chance......
 
DS, I am so glad you got out when you did! You deserve so much better.
 
Yikes, that''s pretty over the top. I''m glad you got out when you did-what a loser. I hope you''re doing well!
 
Okay. It is official, he is a loon and a cheat and a liar and darn right your life would have been terrible if you committed to him! OMG, you hear about people forging and lying and pretending to go to school or work (my sister was engaged to a guy once who did it, and she called it off too). Lies and schemes and the fact that his parents were involved and continued the lies just so confirms that this was a disaster in the making! GOOD FOR YOU! I am glad that you are out of this mess.
 
Wow! Yes, thank goodness you didn't marry that guy! Get far away from him and his family. So many lies...
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So glad to get an update on this one! CHALK ONE... really BIG ONE up to you girlie! YOU ROCK!! Girl power!!

Thanks to the LOOSER/DEADBEAT/BUM, you are equipped now with the best man scanning tools available...you''ve got your sifter and antennas and geiger counter all primed and ready. The man that gets ran through your tester is gonna be a real catch!! Can''t wait to hear about him!!

DKS
 
Yikes!

I hope that was enough to get you to break off contact with him! It''s actually kind of scary when you think about it. Reminds me of Lori Hacking. (The woman found dead after she found out that her husband never really went to college.)
 
Lucky..... that is exactly what so many of my friends and family have said.....who knows how far it could have gotten.... I can''t imagine having to maintain such a lie all the time.... no wonder he has such anxiety and depression.......His parents have done him such a diservice throughout his whole life.... I truly don''t believe he will ever change or seek help.....it makes me sooo sad that I wasted so much of my life especially when looking back at how I didn''t really live college the way I wanted in order to be comitted to him.... BUT I can''t change the past.... only learn from it.... I am so very careful on dates now.... and really enjoying the whole process of meeting new ppl. I am completely honest with them about my past with the ex and figure if they can''t handle it... they aren''t for me anyway.....
 
How terribly sad for him that he has lived such a pathetic lie of a life, DS. Hooray for a great life lesson for you...don''t ever forget it!
 
Date: 9/9/2007 4:34:38 PM
Author: DiamondSmitten
Just in case I wasn''t 100 percent sure I made the right decision (which I totally was) the following revelation came about....

I found out he signed up for classes as a freshman at Rider University...... to become a secondary ed teacher..... which didn''t make sence because NJ has lots of ways to get your teaching certificate without doing school all over again since he graduated with a bachelors in fine arts from School of Visual Arts In NYC in 2004 (two yrs after he should have because he screwed around so much). Now he didn''t attend the ceremony because he said all his real friends finished two yrs before him and it wouldn''t be special for him. Summer of 04 his parents threw him a big ole graduation party at their home where his family, friends, parent''s coworkers, and my extended family (aunts uncles, cousins etc etc) all came to celebrate his accomplishment with cards and gifts etc. He shortly thereafter secured employment with Enterprise Rent A Car in the Management training program where a bachelor''s degree is a requirement and worked there for 3 yrs. Well I decided to ask him via an email why he is starting college from scratch instead of just doing alternate route to a teaching certificate and after 3 years of lies.... he admits.... HE NEVER GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE.... when he was living with me... he failed out so bad in the fall semester he just pretended to go to class in the spring so I wouldn''t be mad......mind you we lived in trenton and his school was in nyc so he either went to nyc and did nothing or just left the apartment for the day ..it gets better..... He forged a diploma to secure employment with Enterprise because they tried to verify his degree with his school...... wait it gets better..... His parents have known the entire time.... including when they threw him the graduation party..... all lies.... they STILL tell his grandma and aunts and uncles etc that he graduated ..... they let everyone they know give him gifts..... and celebrate just so they didn''t look bad and He didn''t look like a failure... AGAIN.... HOW AWFUL IS THAT????

I feel so betrayed... like my last 3 yrs are a even bigger lie....THANK GOD I DIDNT marry that man.... my life would have been sooooo awful. I feel like such a fool.... anytime I ever asked him about wanting to display his diploma or wanting to see it... he would ATTACK me for not trusting him and point out how he works for enterprise so he OBVIOUSLY has a diploma.....his parents have made jokes about how he ''finally'' did it after so many yrs and blah blah blah..... again... thank god I am not in that relationship and he isn''t my problem......do I feel like a fool... YES..... but his whole family (parents sister and him) are such pathological liars I am not sure he had a chance......
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You can say that again.

And again.

And again.


Oh, and please don''t feel like a fool, he (and his whacked family) were obviously very good at what they did.
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Hugs to you my dear, and be happy, that you are free of all this.
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I''m so glad you checked in! I really don''t understand his "logic." You already know this but you are SOOOOO much better than him. He doesn''t sound like a good influence, and you should take pride in knowing that you did the right thing. As hard as it was, isn''t it a good feeling to know that you''re in a much better place now?
 
I''m glad you checked in too! And you''re not a loser or stupid, people who are pathological make their entire life about lying and they are usually pretty good at it because it''s their fulltime job...I think I speak for this entire board, your family and friends when I say we are all SO VERY PROUD OF YOU! Soooo many women would have fallen back with this loser and you were strong enough to pull yourself out of a very emotionally charged situation and put your well being and self esteem first, where they belong. GOOD FOR YOU! As someone else said upthread, I hope one day someone somewhere who''s in the same situation can post here, or meet you in person, and can be helped by your story. It will only make your dream man that much sweeter when you meet him, ya know?!? And now you can go looking for him so how exciting is that?!? I''m so happy for you...Your posts sound like they''re written from a different person now. One who is empowered to control her own life. Congrats!!!
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