Writing your own ceremony?

[misysu2]

Has anyone written their own ceremony? Did you have a book or website to help you? Any suggestions? I feel like I''m starting at ground one here. Thanks!

 

[Pandora II]

I wrote ours - it should be posted on another thread where a whole load of us posted our ceremonies.

I took the Church of England service, cut out all the god bits and then added bits I liked from about 8 ceremonies I found on the web and added in all the legal bits I have to have.

It took quite a bit of time to do!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

We "wrote" (read: did a lot of copying and pasting) our as well. We didn''t buy any books, but I was able to find many readings and versions of vows online. Our officiant was really helpful with sending us ideas for the rest of the ceremony as well. I didn''t want anything tradtional, so I went got nearly all of my ideas from indiebride.com--the ceremony thread there has a repository for ceremonies and I found it very helpful.

 

[anchor31]

We''re writing our own ceremony. We are Catholics and had our marriage preparation course, where they gave us a booklet with the required and optional things we can include in our ceremony, suggestions for readings, vows, etc. It''s really a great tool to build something that''s uniquely our own.

If you''re looking to write a religious ceremony, I would suggest asking your church if they have ressources like those booklets to help you.

 

[surfgirl]

Date: 2/17/2008 1:57:37 PM
Author: NewEnglandLady
We 'wrote' (read: did a lot of copying and pasting) our as well. We didn't buy any books, but I was able to find many readings and versions of vows online. Our officiant was really helpful with sending us ideas for the rest of the ceremony as well. I didn't want anything tradtional, so I went got nearly all of my ideas from indiebride.com--the ceremony thread there has a repository for ceremonies and I found it very helpful.

We did this as well. Our officiant had many different types of services/vows on hand (religious formal, religious casual, non denominational, non religious, nature inspired, elopement, etc.) and we simply read them all, then cut and pasted the pieces together that best reflected who we were and what we wanted to say to each other. It ended up being non religious, with a nod to our beautiful natural surroundings, with some special ring blessings, traditional vows, and a nod to the local Native Americans of the area we were married in. You really have to just root around online and you'll pull up tons of wedding services/vows and just go through and cut and past the parts you like into a Word doc, then go through that and piece it together. It's really not that difficult and I found it to be quite enjoyable.

 

[zoebartlett]

I think we''re pretty much doing what Surfgirl and NEL did. We''re not 100% sure what readings we''ll use but we copied and pasted a lot of things from various sites into a "ceremony" folder on my computer. I''ll print out our ideas and bring them with us when we meet with our new officiant next month. We''re not writing our ceremony, but technically, my students from last year wrote part of it. I asked them to write about what it means to be a good friend and also to finish the thought, "Love is..." I got a lot of great responses and we''re planning on putting them together and making it into a reading. When I was looking for ideas of readings, I think I jsut googled different key words related to wedding ceremonies, readings, etc. and browsed through wahtever came up.

 

[surfgirl]

Date: 2/17/2008 2:49:14 PM
Author: ZoeBartlett
but technically, my students from last year wrote part of it. I asked them to write about what it means to be a good friend and also to finish the thought, ''Love is...'' I got a lot of great responses and we''re planning on putting them together and making it into a reading.

zoe, that''s such a cool idea! Do your students know they''re writing will be a part of your wedding?

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 2/17/2008 2:52:11 PM
Author: surfgirl

Date: 2/17/2008 2:49:14 PM
Author: ZoeBartlett
but technically, my students from last year wrote part of it. I asked them to write about what it means to be a good friend and also to finish the thought, ''Love is...'' I got a lot of great responses and we''re planning on putting them together and making it into a reading.

zoe, that''s such a cool idea! Do your students know they''re writing will be a part of your wedding?

They don''t know yet but I''ll tell them eventually. This is what we''re using from their writings (keep in mind, these are eight year olds

):

How to be a Good Friend

To be a good friend you could play with them. Tell them how nice it is to be their friend. Sending them a letter is nice too. Play with them at recess.

To be a good friend means to play together. If you have a fight, make up. Play together as much as you can. Give them respect as they give it back. If they do something you don’t want to do, DON’T DO IT! Follow these rules as I say and you’ll have a new friend every day.

If you want to be a good friend, show that you care. Treat them right. If you want to be a good friend, tell them you want to be their friend. If you want REALLY want to be a good friend, comfort them if they are sad or mad. Make them laugh, smile, cheer, and be happy.

Love is…

Love is when you care about someone. Love is when you stay close and have hope for someone. A way to show love is by giving hugs and kisses. You can also show love by giving flowers and presents and drawing pictures for them. You could also tell them how much you love them.

Love is being a good friend. It is also being a nice person. Love is giving and sharing too.

Love is caring, sharing, and being nice. Show respect to one another. Give to one another. Have a wedding and get married. Show that you care. If you give you will receive. Be nice and love. Loving is good and kind. Love, love, love, love is good. If you care and share, other people will care and share. Love, love, love – it is nice. It is sweet and nice to love. So love, love, love. You will thank me if you do.

Love is a feeling and an emotion. Love is a word that people can say to or about others.

Without love, no one would tuck you in at night. So everyone…love is when someone cares about you.

 

[misysu2]

Wow Zoe, that''s a fantastic idea! Super cute.

Thanks for the great resources everyone! We''re having a non-religious ceremony and I''m glad to hear that the internet can yet again save me some book money!

I''ll check out the PS thread as well as Indie Bride. Thanks everyone!

 

[zoebartlett]

Hi Misysu,

Thanks, I''m glad you like it. Sorry for hijacking the thread for a bit.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

We basically spliced ours together. I looked at a lot of samples online and chose the parts I liked best.

 

[Fancy605]

Our officiant sent us the ceremony he typically performs, and we modified it here and there to suit us. We kept most of it very traditional. It was simple, sweet, and short (which many of our male guests especially seemed to like). I think it was about a 15 min ceremony maybe 20 if you include all the walking and such. We have it saved if you want a peek.

 

[ladyciel]

Not free, but (IMHO) a worthy investment, is the book "The Wedding Ceremony Planner" by Judith Johnson (she''s a Reverend/PhD/long-time officiant). The first part of the book talks about the practical stuff (location, rehearsal, etc) and points out some issues that are frequently looked over in the planning process (plenty that I hadn''t thought about previously!). The second section of the book is broken down by ceremony section and includes a ton of passages for each, including opening prayers/introductions, closing words, vows, candle ceremonies, etc. Because many of the couples looking to write their own ceremonies are those not established in a church/religion, quite a few of the segments she''s included are non-religious or very generally spiritual (a good thing since our ceremony is also going to be non-religious). The book includes worksheets to help while you choose passages you''d like to use or work from, as well as example ceremonies/worksheets so you can get a feel for how things can be put together to suit your situation/personalities/beliefs.

We haven''t seriously sat down to write our ceremony yet, but reading through the book we''ve found quite a few passages that we like and feel we could adapt to make them our own.