WWYD regarding engagement ring?

[beesha77]

To make a long story short, my husband passed away and I have 3 little boys. I still have my engagement ring of course. It's a very nice ring and I thought I would save it for my oldest for when he is ready to get propose. Not necessarily use the actual ring, but the diamonds. But then I thought what about the other two? Is that really fair? Or should I wait and save it for whomever is ready to get married first? Or i can always reset it in a necklace maybe? I just don't know!! Help!!

--K.

 

[janlwf]

So sorry for your terrible loss.

I would absolutely wear the engagement ring, perhaps on the right hand? or at least consider resetting the diamond in another ring or pendant. Jewellery is meant to be enjoyed and not sit in a box waiting.... Perhaps if you still feel the same way in the future, you can offer your heirloom diamond to the first son married or the first grandchild. Good Luck and if you consider resetting, I am sure the many knowledgeable folks here can make some great suggestions.

 

[iota15]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss.

Your boys are still young. I'd leave this decision for when they're a bit older. Plus, their fiances/girlfriends might prefer their own diamonds or a different shape or size.

In the meantime, I think you might as well enjoy the diamonds you have - rather than putting them in a safety deposit box or case. A pendant sounds like a wonderful idea. Or you reset the diamonds into a different type of ring, perhaps with other stones. Or wear it the way it is.

You can always pass the setting and/or diamonds to a son at a later date (if he or his intended wants it).

By the way, it's very sweet of you to consider you boys now. If this question is still nagging you, I'd do what my mother does - when the time comes, offer the gift to one child, and provide something in kind at a appropriate time for the other children (could be another piece of jewelry, or an offer to help with the cost of something (although I'm not sure how I feel about my future MIL paying for part of my ering, if it wasn't an existing heirloom). If the first child turns it down, and the second accepts, you can always gift the first child something else later.

My mother is ruthlessly "fair" to all of us when it comes to gifting and we all know that, but what's more important than anything else is the thought and her love - and I'm sure your boys will feel the same way - no matter who actually gets your treasured diamonds. Hope that helps.

 

[Amys Bling]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss.

Your boys are still young. I'd leave this decision for when they're a bit older. Plus, their fiances/girlfriends might prefer their own diamonds or a different shape or size.In the meantime, I think you might as well enjoy the diamonds you have - rather than putting them in a safety deposit box or case. A pendant sounds like a wonderful idea. Or you reset the diamonds into a different type of ring, perhaps with other stones. Or wear it the way it is.

You can always pass the setting and/or diamonds to a son at a later date (if he or his intended wants it).

By the way, it's very sweet of you to consider you boys now. If this question is still nagging you, I'd do what my mother does - when the time comes, offer the gift to one child, and provide something in kind at a appropriate time for the other children (could be another piece of jewelry, or an offer to help with the cost of something (although I'm not sure how I feel about my future MIL paying for part of my engagement ring, if it wasn't an existing heirloom). If the first child turns it down, and the second accepts, you can always gift the first child something else later.

My mother is ruthlessly "fair" to all of us when it comes to gifting and we all know that, but what's more important than anything else is the thought and her love - and I'm sure your boys will feel the same way - no matter who actually gets your treasured diamonds. Hope that helps.

agree with this. sometimes the girlfriends will prefer a didn't size or style. Or maybe they have an heirloom stone they want to use. etc. I would enjoy your stone now...necklace, ring, what have you... worry about passing it down when the time comes.

Sorry for your loss.... I know those words are not enough, but I hope they bring you some comfort.

 

[swingirl]

If I were you I 'd have the diamond/s set into a pendant that you can wear everyday. Your sons will enjoy seeing you wear the diamonds (of course you'll have to remind them what it is and what it means to you). Where this heirloom ends up is too hard to predict. One son might find it more interesting that another. You might end up with other important heirlooms to pass down. But for now I would wear it and enjoy it. I have a pendant from my original engagement ring and I find I enjoy it more than my larger upgraded ring. Maybe because it's closer to my heart.

And not every bride is jazzed about wearing someone else's diamonds, even if they mean something special to the groom.

So sorry for your loss.