Adoption Thread

[AGBF]

DH & I talked a lot about the baby this evening and we are just so hopeful that this is it for us. We discussed names as well and I'm pulling for Oliva Grace but DH isn't liking it. He is suggesting Olivia Rae or Oliva Noelle. I like them both, particularly Olivia Rae, but I'm not ready to decide on one yet.

OK...since you mentioned this, I will confide some of the names I was hiding. I wasn't going to spill these, but since you mentioned your DH was harboring the French Noelle (which, of course, means "Christmas" in French) I thought I'd spill the beans and tell you some of the French and other esoteric names I considered for my daughter that might go with Olivia. Your DH sounds as if he might be receptive if he likes Noelle!

Olivia Amélie
Olivia Violette
Olivia Valentine
Olivia Katrine (can be spelled more conventionally with a Cath)

("Violetta" was my mother-in-law's name, and during World War II she lived in France, where her name would have been translated as, "Violette".)

Deb/AGBF

 

[diamondseeker2006]

A girl!!! That is very exciting, IG!!! My advice would be to choose the name you love most for the baby girl who will someday be yours, but do not refer to this baby or any other with that name until you have her with signed papers. We lost one baby in the international adoption process, but the name we chose was for the baby who was meant to be ours.

 

[ImperfectGirl]

A girl!!! That is very exciting, IG!!! My advice would be to choose the name you love most for the baby girl who will someday be yours, but do not refer to this baby or any other with that name until you have her with signed papers. We lost one baby in the international adoption process, but the name we chose was for the baby who was meant to be ours.

Very good point diamondseeker. We constantly referred to the first baby as Parker and the second as Avery and now we feel that we can't use either name in the future because of how the situations turned out. I'd hate to lose another name I love so I think I'll take your advice! Thank you!

 

[ImperfectGirl]

DH & I talked a lot about the baby this evening and we are just so hopeful that this is it for us. We discussed names as well and I'm pulling for Oliva Grace but DH isn't liking it. He is suggesting Olivia Rae or Oliva Noelle. I like them both, particularly Olivia Rae, but I'm not ready to decide on one yet.

OK...since you mentioned this, I will confide some of the names I was hiding. I wasn't going to spill these, but since you mentioned your DH was harboring the French Noelle (which, of course, means "Christmas" in French) I thought I'd spill the beans and tell you some of the French and other esoteric names I considered for my daughter that might go with Olivia. Your DH sounds as if he might be receptive if he likes Noelle!

Olivia Amélie
Olivia Violette
Olivia Valentine
Olivia Katrine (can be spelled more conventionally with a Cath)

("Violetta" was my mother-in-law's name, and during World War II she lived in France, where her name would have been translated as, "Violette".)

Deb/AGBF

Thanks for spilling the beans on these names Deb. I love Olivia Violette! So classically beautiful! I'll have to suggest them to him.

 

[E B]

That's great news, IG! And Olivia is a beautiful name.

 

[Skippy123]

Wonderful news!!! I am filled with joy for you, wooohooo for a baby girl! aw, I wish I could give you a hug; I am so happy to hear that!!

 

[iheartscience]

Fantastic news! And I love the name Olivia-that's the name of my kitty in my avatar!

 

[AGBF]

Fantastic news! And I love the name Olivia-that's the name of my kitty in my avatar!

I have two more entries:

Olivia Christine
Olivia Summer

I know that they, well at least the "Olivia Summer" , may sound offbeat; but both have a history. I'm not sure I should share it here, but it's a nice one and involves adoption.

Deb

 

[diamondseeker2006]

A girl!!! That is very exciting, IG!!! My advice would be to choose the name you love most for the baby girl who will someday be yours, but do not refer to this baby or any other with that name until you have her with signed papers. We lost one baby in the international adoption process, but the name we chose was for the baby who was meant to be ours.

Very good point diamondseeker. We constantly referred to the first baby as Parker and the second as Avery and now we feel that we can't use either name in the future because of how the situations turned out. I'd hate to lose another name I love so I think I'll take your advice! Thank you!

I am relieved you understood what I was trying to convey. We've lost one baby by miscarriage and one in adoption, and I just learned that it is best to save the name for the child who will truly be ours. I had favorite names picked out, but thankfully, the 9 months we tried to get the first assigned baby home, we did not refer to her by a name we had chosen. And it was good since it didn't work out. She has the name she is meant to have wherever she is. It never was our right to name her since the adoption never was finalized. In your case, you could refer to this current baby as Baby C or something and save these beautiful names you have chosen for THE ONE that is meant to be YOURS!!!

 

[ImperfectGirl]

A girl!!! That is very exciting, IG!!! My advice would be to choose the name you love most for the baby girl who will someday be yours, but do not refer to this baby or any other with that name until you have her with signed papers. We lost one baby in the international adoption process, but the name we chose was for the baby who was meant to be ours.

Very good point diamondseeker. We constantly referred to the first baby as Parker and the second as Avery and now we feel that we can't use either name in the future because of how the situations turned out. I'd hate to lose another name I love so I think I'll take your advice! Thank you!

I am relieved you understood what I was trying to convey. We've lost one baby by miscarriage and one in adoption, and I just learned that it is best to save the name for the child who will truly be ours. I had favorite names picked out, but thankfully, the 9 months we tried to get the first assigned baby home, we did not refer to her by a name we had chosen. And it was good since it didn't work out. She has the name she is meant to have wherever she is. It never was our right to name her since the adoption never was finalized. In your case, you could refer to this current baby as Baby C or something and save these beautiful names you have chosen for THE ONE that is meant to be YOURS!!!

Oh yes, I totally understood what you were saying...we've just been saying 'the baby' whenever we refer to this match. Seems better this way.

On another note, birthmom had an appt today and the due date was pushed back to 1/9/12.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Well, I hate it that the duedate is later for your sake, but better to know than be waiting and not knowing, I suppose. I have high hopes this time and will pray for a happy ending!

 

[lliang_chi]

IG still thinking about you and your DH. Hope everything goes smoothly with the baby and you'll be happy parents in 2012. Keep us updated. You have a lot of friends here that are thinking about you.

Oh and I *love* Olivia too. I'm like you, I don't like that became so popular, but it's a great name.

~LC

 

[bee*]

I'm so happy to hear your news IG. I really hope that it will work out this time for you and that this is your baby.

 

[dcgator]

IG - Just wanted to pop in and say that I am thinking about you and hope that everything is still on track for you and yor DH. Take care!

 

[ImperfectGirl]

Hi everyone!

Just popping in...I haven't been around much lately as I'm trying to stay busy and keep my mind occupied with non-baby related things. Work has kept me crazy busy as well.

I got a call from the 14 yr old birthmother last night. She called to tell me how things went at her appointment that day. I can't get over how much she sounds just like a baby but then I have to remind myself that she is a baby. She'll be 30 weeks on Monday and says she is doing well.

A huge hug and thank you to all of you for being so wonderful through this process. It has meant more than you know.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Hi IG-Glad that things are going well! I am still like whevener I think about how young your BMom is! So that that she is doing well and at 30 weeks already!

 

[Dreamer_D]

IG so glad you got a call and BM is doing well. It breaks my heart to think of how scared she must be and how young she is Thank goodness she is making this decision, for her, you, and the little baby. I am hopeful for you all.

 

[Clairitek]

So happy to hear that you heard from the birth mother and that things are going well!

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

All things "crossed" for you IG!

cheers--Sharon

 

[AGBF]

I got a call from the 14 yr old birthmother last night. She called to tell me how things went at her appointment that day. I can't get over how much she sounds just like a baby but then I have to remind myself that she is a baby. She'll be 30 weeks on Monday and says she is doing well.

That 30 week mark has come to mean much more to me than it would have until recently! In the past week or so I have been in touch with a close friend who has been beset with miscarriages for years following the birth of her son (about to turn three in a couple of days) at 27 weeks. She is hoping that with her current pregnancy she can make it to 27 weeks, but is now only at about 22 or 23 weeks. If she loses this baby, she will not try again. She has never carried another baby except her son for this long, but has had about 15 miscarriages at very early stages. She is at extremely high risk for premature birth which would, if it happens now, mean the baby's death or terrible disabilities at best. So when I hear "30 weeks" now, I feel a sigh of relief! Who on earth would have thought I would feel that even two weeks ago? Life is so strange! Now I am hoping that this young birthmother has an easy birth and that my friend makes it to at least 27 weeks and has a healthy baby!

A baby is considered "viable" at 24 weeks, but that doesn't mean that most are likely to survive if born then. At 24 weeks they have not yet reached the third trimester and, if they survive, may have serious disabilities. In fact, only 36% survive. If I seem obsessive, it is because I am about to immerse myself in her family the day after tomorrow. I'm going to her son's birthday party. I hope I get more good news then!

Deb/AGBF

 

[lliang_chi]

IG, I'm encouraged by the good news and progress of the BMom. Wow, I still cant' get over how young she is. I'm thinking about you in the next few weeks. I really hope you and your DH will be blessed soon.

~LC

 

[ImperfectGirl]

I got a call from the 14 yr old birthmother last night. She called to tell me how things went at her appointment that day. I can't get over how much she sounds just like a baby but then I have to remind myself that she is a baby. She'll be 30 weeks on Monday and says she is doing well.

That 30 week mark has come to mean much more to me than it would have until recently! In the past week or so I have been in touch with a close friend who has been beset with miscarriages for years following the birth of her son (about to turn three in a couple of days) at 27 weeks. She is hoping that with her current pregnancy she can make it to 27 weeks, but is now only at about 22 or 23 weeks. If she loses this baby, she will not try again. She has never carried another baby except her son for this long, but has had about 15 miscarriages at very early stages. She is at extremely high risk for premature birth which would, if it happens now, mean the baby's death or terrible disabilities at best. So when I hear "30 weeks" now, I feel a sigh of relief! Who on earth would have thought I would feel that even two weeks ago? Life is so strange! Now I am hoping that this young birthmother has an easy birth and that my friend makes it to at least 27 weeks and has a healthy baby!

A baby is considered "viable" at 24 weeks, but that doesn't mean that most are likely to survive if born then. At 24 weeks they have not yet reached the third trimester and, if they survive, may have serious disabilities. In fact, only 36% survive. If I seem obsessive, it is because I am about to immerse myself in her family the day after tomorrow. I'm going to her son's birthday party. I hope I get more good news then!

Deb/AGBF

Just seeing this Deb...how is your friend? I sure hope that things are going ok for her. I cannot even imagine what she is going through.

 

[ImperfectGirl]

Hi all!

Don't feel obligated to respond, I'm just updating as things happen (which isn't very often). I still lurk at times and read about some of your pregnancies and beautiful babies!

We've made plans to meet with the birthmother and her mother on Dec. 3, at their request. On the one hand, I don't mind. On the other hand, I was hoping to remain as detached as possible. But, as some of you know, saying 'no' to anything while being on this side of the adoption process really just makes you fear that you've jeopardized the whole thing so we'll go along with it. One day, one lunch, I can do this. At least I have a month to keep repeating that to myself...

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Oh IG--I hope that it goes well and that you don't worry about it too much over the next month! Huge hugs!!! I am praying for you that you will find that tiny thread between being attached and protecting your heart. I am sure that you will navigate things with your usual grace

 

[monkeyprincess]

IG, my thoughts are with you. I hope that meeting you will only confirm in this young girl's heart that allowing you to adopt her baby will be the best for everyone! Hopefully, you have a lot to keep you busy, so you don't have too much time to worry about it this month!

 

[lliang_chi]

IG, wow! I'll be thinking about you! I totally can understand how you feel that you want to try to protect yourself. I think you said the birth mother knows your previous history with the prior adoptions. Maybe you can have your agency bring it up again. I'm sure BMom and her mother just want to make sure you and your DH are upstanding wonderful people. It's too bad they don't read PS, because I think you guys would make INCREDIBLE parents! We're thinking about you guys! Keep us posted.

~LC

 

[dcgator]

IG - I was just thinking about you and thought I would stop in for an update. I am glad to hear that everything is still on track and that the baby is doing well. I can only imagine how aprehensive you are about meeting with the birthmom, but I sincerely hope that it will all be for the best. I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers and will check back for more updates soon.

 

[AGBF]

I got a call from the 14 yr old birthmother last night. She called to tell me how things went at her appointment that day. I can't get over how much she sounds just like a baby but then I have to remind myself that she is a baby. She'll be 30 weeks on Monday and says she is doing well.

That 30 week mark has come to mean much more to me than it would have until recently! In the past week or so I have been in touch with a close friend who has been beset with miscarriages for years following the birth of her son (about to turn three in a couple of days) at 27 weeks. She is hoping that with her current pregnancy she can make it to 27 weeks, but is now only at about 22 or 23 weeks. If she loses this baby, she will not try again. She has never carried another baby except her son for this long, but has had about 15 miscarriages at very early stages. She is at extremely high risk for premature birth which would, if it happens now, mean the baby's death or terrible disabilities at best. So when I hear "30 weeks" now, I feel a sigh of relief! Who on earth would have thought I would feel that even two weeks ago? Life is so strange! Now I am hoping that this young birthmother has an easy birth and that my friend makes it to at least 27 weeks and has a healthy baby!

A baby is considered "viable" at 24 weeks, but that doesn't mean that most are likely to survive if born then. At 24 weeks they have not yet reached the third trimester and, if they survive, may have serious disabilities. In fact, only 36% survive. If I seem obsessive, it is because I am about to immerse myself in her family the day after tomorrow. I'm going to her son's birthday party. I hope I get more good news then!

Just seeing this Deb...how is your friend? I sure hope that things are going ok for her. I cannot even imagine what she is going through.

I'm just catching up, myself, after a few days in New York City, IG. Thanks for the kind words about my friend. Her three year-old son's birthday party was held on the day of the Hallowe'en snowstorm, so only a few people attended. There will be a redo tomorrow and I hope to attend that. I spoke to her today and if I have my facts straight she has now completed 24 weeks safely. She has also taken a test, the name of which escapes me*, which is predictive of when a woman will give birth prematurely and she is supposedly (fingers are crossed here, of course) going to be able to hold out until 26 weeks. I was apparently way, way off about her son's birth, however. I had thought he was born at 27 weeks, but I must have been hearing things! (I was around whe he was born, too! I just wasn't counting weeks then!) She said he was 35 weeks when he was born. (I think!) If she said 35, I don't know why we would have thought of him as so premature, that is only a little over a month early! I was a month early and my mother never thought it was any big deal! But, as usual, I digress. The point is that I am daring to feel optimistic for my friend. And I hope to be at her house tomorrow to see her! Thank you for caring!

Hugs,
Deb/AGBF

*I looked it up. It is fetal fibronectin testing!

 

[pennquaker09]

Everyone is cooperating so I wanted to stop by and say hey! I hope everyone is doing well.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Hey, Penn! How is life with your babies and living in NC??? We need an update when you get a chance!