diamondfan
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2005
- Messages
- 11,016
I think you have to take into account the history.
Yes, it is nice to be the bigger person. But in my life, with my sis, I always had to be the one to do so, and it got old. Her sister lives at home, well past the age that would seem reasonable, and does not contribute or even do chores. She sounds a bit spoiled and indulged, according to the information given. I am not sure I would want to have drama on my wedding. One could argue there is fallout from her not being there, but if you know someone is likely to create problems and you let yourself feel obliged, who ends up miserable? I invited my sister to my oldest son''s bar mitzvah. I did not really want to but I did. She proceeded to be an ass the entire weekend, and tried to upstage my son with her antics. And she is in her 40''s. I regret feeling the "should" and doing it, she really put a blot on an otherwise wonderful occasion.
If you add to the scenario that she wants to only attend the ceremony, she is showing her colors. I would rather she skip the whole thing if my celebration would mean that little to her. She is allowed to be the way she is, clearly the parents are not steering her in the right direction and have not reall ever done so. She is not likely to start getting it now. It really sounds like she is not close at all and really has a minimal involvement with her. If you add it all up, sounds like she might be better off being very clear about her feelings and just doing what makes her the most happy.
Yes, it is nice to be the bigger person. But in my life, with my sis, I always had to be the one to do so, and it got old. Her sister lives at home, well past the age that would seem reasonable, and does not contribute or even do chores. She sounds a bit spoiled and indulged, according to the information given. I am not sure I would want to have drama on my wedding. One could argue there is fallout from her not being there, but if you know someone is likely to create problems and you let yourself feel obliged, who ends up miserable? I invited my sister to my oldest son''s bar mitzvah. I did not really want to but I did. She proceeded to be an ass the entire weekend, and tried to upstage my son with her antics. And she is in her 40''s. I regret feeling the "should" and doing it, she really put a blot on an otherwise wonderful occasion.
If you add to the scenario that she wants to only attend the ceremony, she is showing her colors. I would rather she skip the whole thing if my celebration would mean that little to her. She is allowed to be the way she is, clearly the parents are not steering her in the right direction and have not reall ever done so. She is not likely to start getting it now. It really sounds like she is not close at all and really has a minimal involvement with her. If you add it all up, sounds like she might be better off being very clear about her feelings and just doing what makes her the most happy.
300x240.png)