Anchor''s (mis)adventures in registering

[anchor31]

Registering sounded kind of fun. Knowing my track record, I should have expected complications...

I didn''t know if we had to make an appointment or not, so I called on Friday to make sure, only to be told that they didn''t have time for us on Saturday. I haven''t really been my usual easy-going bride self lately (more like sick of planning and even sicker of the drama and complications

), so I was a bit pissed and must have sounded as such, because she called me 5 minutes later to ask me if 9AM was ok. Hey, we''re early risers, so whatever. The earlier the better!

So we got there on Saturday. We fill out the form, blah blah blah, and then she gave us the scanning gun. J was excited and gung-ho and walked away gun in hand, I just stood there, completely overwhelmed.

We were at the flagstore in downtown Montreal and this place is HUGE. It has 6 floors and every floor is as big as a regular one-floor store... So I was standing there in the middle of the 4th floor, surrounded by a huge selection of dinnerware, cookware, kitchen appliances, linens, towels and bathroom stuff... Pretty much everything one would put on a registry. I''m not a shopper so I was NOT in my element.

I managed to shake off my panic and we start putting stuff on our registry. We live together, but we don''t have much and what we do have is either hand-me-down or cheap Walmart kind of stuff so we pretty much need everything. We had a hard time finding some casual dinnerware that we liked, but we found a lovely set. Also I love cooking, so I really want to have some great kitchenware. J was happily scanning away, and I had such a sticker shock about the price of some of this stuff that my panic attack came back in full force. At some point I even said to J that I just couldn''t do it! I can''t believe how much it costs to get a good mixer and a good cookware set. Yikes. J managed to convince me to put them on the registry anyway; if people don''t want to buy it, they won''t. So it wasn''t a very comfortable experience for me and I''d hoped it''d be finished right there and then...

But of course not. Who am I kidding, right? Right the next day, I wanted to check if we''d put some tablecloths and mixing bowls on it (of course not

) and what did I find? That our ENTIRE selection of dinnerware, the one we had so much trouble finding amidst all the fancy china we''d never use, is discontinued. Everything. Overnight. Just like that.

So of course we''ll have to go back and find some new dinnerware (plus mixing bowls and tablecloths...).

I really really need an icon that mimicks TGal''s avatar...

At least I won''t have to feel bad about registry spying, since the store will send us a card telling us which gift was bought by who every time a gift is bought from the registry.

That way we can keep our list up to date and send our thank you cards right away.

 

[enbcfsobe]

sorry -- doublepost

 

[enbcfsobe]

anchor, that stinks! my entire family has bad luck with things being discontinued, so i''m just waiting for that to happen.

i totally feel you on being overwhelmed. i am a shopper, and i was totally lost. we went to the macys at the old marshall fields store in chicago, and it was just too much. too many choices, too many people, not enough sales associates to help figure out what type of cookware to pick... oy!

i think i''m just going to do the rest of the registering online. i hope you find new dinnerware you like!

 

[CrownJewel]

Ack! Sorry to hear anchor! I hate when things I like get discontinued.

 

[Independent Gal]

Awww, sweety, that sucks.

Does the store you registered at let you update the registry on line? That way, you won''t have to go back, and sometimes there''s a larger selection online too.

Maybe I should head on up there to Montreal so we can eat some pie and pout together!

 

[Independent Gal]

Oh, just had an idea. Not sure if it's your style or whether having two registries works for you, but check out www.zonemaison.com. They have everyday dishware that's not expensive, simple modern lines, and you can register on line OR in the store. I'm betting there's more selection in the store in this case! But I just love those simple white plates and bowls they have on line. Espeically the square ones..

 

[Gypsy]

Anchor honey I'm sorry. I found it easier to register in short bursts. One day, I took John to a nice store that lets you set a table as many times that you like to find your china pattern, flatware, and glasses. So we did just that one day. Then another day we did some research on pots and pans and went to the store to try them out... lift them pretend cook with them see how they felt. Same with knives, we set up an appointment and went and tried out different knife sets, used them to chop veggies (Williams and Sonoma). Then another day I went in to just look at towels and sheets, after reading about that stuff on consumer reports. I ended up picking a shower curtain and rod and soap dish and stuff like that then too. And so forth. It really helped me not to get overwelmed and to really figure out what we needed for our lifestyle. As for platters and serveware... well, I have quite a bit of that stuff, and enjoy buying it, so I just strolled one day through the store and picked out a few things I liked (total of a half hour of time).

If you do it slowly and thoughtfully, its easier and not so overwelming. Now for me, this happened over the course of years. So by the time I register this time (which I've already started to do) it's going to be pretty quick and painless and I can to most of it online at Bed Bath and Beyond.

As for the discontinued china. I dealt with that for my everyday set I bought in lawschool, loved and wanted to expand on. Well in discontinued. So I learned my lesson and researched china brands to find what which patterns of their are always in stock, and never plan to be discontinued. Or at least have 5 years discontinuance, and I have plenty of time to stock up with. That's how I picked my everyday set (Wedgwood White) and my formal set (Waterford Brocade).

((HUGS)) honey. Let us know if we can help.

 

[Octavia]

Oh, Anchor, that's the worst. I'm sorry. But at least you found out now, before you got three dinner plates, a soup bowl, and six mugs that won't match anything else in your kitchen...

I used to work a second job at a well-known home goods store here in the US, and since I was there mainly on evenings or weekends, I dealt with registry stuff all the time. I can't believe she said they were too busy for you at first -- I probably would have gotten fired if I said something like that! Registries are big business and we ALWAYS had to make time for our brides and grooms. It's nice that she called you back, but personally I don't think I would ever register at a place that made it seem like they didn't really care about my business now that I'm a BIW!

Not all of my co-workers did this, but whenever I set up a couple's registry, I always made sure to point out to everyone who was registering which items were "core" pieces and which were "seasonal" ones. If people knew ahead of time that something will only be around for another month or two, it saves a lot of hassle because they could either choose a different style that would be around longer, or know ahead of time that they might not get that particular item. For anyone doing registry stuff, I HIGHLY recommend you ask a sales associate whether your bed linens, dishes, silverware, etc. are seasonal or about to be discontinued. While they may not be 100% certain, a good sales associate will know the rotation patterns of the stock and will be able to say, "this is spring bedding, so we'll probably have the entire set here until June or so, but won't get new stock after that," or "we've had this style of dishware here for about 8 years, so chances are good it will still be around by the time your wedding comes." For some things, like placemats, its not such a big deal...but I would be annoyed if I got half a set of silverware and then couldn't get any more.

Also, if you can pre-shop online to get an idea of what you want to put on your registry, it can be really helpful when you go to the store. Much less time spent getting bumped and jostled by the crowds while you dither about the pros and cons of ivory versus white

Anyway, off my soapbox now. I hope you find some dishes somewhere that you love even better than the original ones!

 

[misysu2]

I''m sending lots of hugs your way, Anchor!

I think many PSers have dealt with many of these issues. I myself did not go in to a store with a gun. I''m a majorly indecisive person, so I''m glad I didn''t subject myself to so many choices in front of me. My registry companies supplied me with "checklists" that gave me some good jumping off points, which helped.

Also, I think it''s best to look at registry stuff as an ongoing process. I''m constantly checking and updating items as they go out of supply or manufacture. I hope that you can find a knowledgeable sales associate there to help you identify the problem items!

 

[julabean]

Ahh! Anchor, that is so frustrating! And I can completely understand how you feel! Macys discontinued half of my casual dinnerware just about a month ago, three months before our wedding! I had to rush out and buy the stuff that I really liked, just in case it still wasn''t on clearance by the time my wedding rolled around! I hope you''re able to find something you like!

 

[bee*]

Ugh how annoying! It is good that you found that out now though rather than just before the wedding, however I can definitely sympathise with how frustrating that is. D and I have been searching for ages for the perfect dinnerware set and we''re still no closer to finding one. I can only imagine how annoying it would be to find one but know that it''s been discontinued

Online registering sounds like it would be much easier!

 

[TravelingGal]

Here ya go anchor...

<---------------

I feel your pain. I hate shopping. I do like housewares however. Hardly anyone bought from our registry (Koreans give cash) but we made a fun time out of it anyway. TGuy wanted to put everything and anything hideous on our registry to make people think we were wackier than we already are!

 

[anchor31]

Date: 2/5/2008 10:39:32 AM
Author: enbcfsobe

anchor, that stinks! my entire family has bad luck with things being discontinued, so i''m just waiting for that to happen.

i totally feel you on being overwhelmed. i am a shopper, and i was totally lost. we went to the macys at the old marshall fields store in chicago, and it was just too much. too many choices, too many people, not enough sales associates to help figure out what type of cookware to pick... oy!

i think i''m just going to do the rest of the registering online. i hope you find new dinnerware you like!

The Bay could probably be compared to Macy''s, so I hear ya! Thanks for the support.

 

[anchor31]

Date: 2/5/2008 10:59:40 AM
Author: Independent Gal
Awww, sweety, that sucks.

Does the store you registered at let you update the registry on line? That way, you won''t have to go back, and sometimes there''s a larger selection online too.

Maybe I should head on up there to Montreal so we can eat some pie and pout together!

Thanks for the recommendation! I LOVE the Sophie Conran line, would go very well with the with bakeware we picked. I''ve been looking around on the The Bay website and they actually carry that line: they have lovely 4-piece sets for 39,99$. Maybe I could just call to have it added... Hm, I''ll still have to go pick some tablecoths anyway, the website isn''t that extensive. And mixing bowls. Hey, didn''t we put a fondue set in there? Huh, apparently not. *sigh*

I''d love to go out for some pie-and-pout with you! You could bring a tub of that Julep mask of yours, since I can''t seem to find it anywhere...

 

[anchor31]

Date: 2/5/2008 11:33:11 AM
Author: Gypsy
Anchor honey I''m sorry. I found it easier to register in short bursts. One day, I took John to a nice store that lets you set a table as many times that you like to find your china pattern, flatware, and glasses. So we did just that one day. Then another day we did some research on pots and pans and went to the store to try them out... lift them pretend cook with them see how they felt. Same with knives, we set up an appointment and went and tried out different knife sets, used them to chop veggies (Williams and Sonoma). Then another day I went in to just look at towels and sheets, after reading about that stuff on consumer reports. I ended up picking a shower curtain and rod and soap dish and stuff like that then too. And so forth. It really helped me not to get overwelmed and to really figure out what we needed for our lifestyle. As for platters and serveware... well, I have quite a bit of that stuff, and enjoy buying it, so I just strolled one day through the store and picked out a few things I liked (total of a half hour of time).

If you do it slowly and thoughtfully, its easier and not so overwelming. Now for me, this happened over the course of years. So by the time I register this time (which I''ve already started to do) it''s going to be pretty quick and painless and I can to most of it online at Bed Bath and Beyond.

As for the discontinued china. I dealt with that for my everyday set I bought in lawschool, loved and wanted to expand on. Well in discontinued. So I learned my lesson and researched china brands to find what which patterns of their are always in stock, and never plan to be discontinued. Or at least have 5 years discontinuance, and I have plenty of time to stock up with. That''s how I picked my everyday set (Wedgwood White) and my formal set (Waterford Brocade).

((HUGS)) honey. Let us know if we can help.

I wish I''d asked for advice first, so we could have done it that way! I can call to have things added, but I can''t online.

 

[Independent Gal]

Haha! We could put the Mint Julep mask on and then once we were all green and looking like aliens we could storm into The Bay and chase the evil staff around until they promised to give you good customer service in the future.

Then we could go eat pie. And ice cream!

 

[anchor31]

Date: 2/5/2008 11:40:01 AM
Author: Octavia
Oh, Anchor, that''s the worst. I''m sorry. But at least you found out now, before you got three dinner plates, a soup bowl, and six mugs that won''t match anything else in your kitchen...

I used to work a second job at a well-known home goods store here in the US, and since I was there mainly on evenings or weekends, I dealt with registry stuff all the time. I can''t believe she said they were too busy for you at first -- I probably would have gotten fired if I said something like that! Registries are big business and we ALWAYS had to make time for our brides and grooms. It''s nice that she called you back, but personally I don''t think I would ever register at a place that made it seem like they didn''t really care about my business now that I''m a BIW!

Not all of my co-workers did this, but whenever I set up a couple''s registry, I always made sure to point out to everyone who was registering which items were ''core'' pieces and which were ''seasonal'' ones. If people knew ahead of time that something will only be around for another month or two, it saves a lot of hassle because they could either choose a different style that would be around longer, or know ahead of time that they might not get that particular item. For anyone doing registry stuff, I HIGHLY recommend you ask a sales associate whether your bed linens, dishes, silverware, etc. are seasonal or about to be discontinued. While they may not be 100% certain, a good sales associate will know the rotation patterns of the stock and will be able to say, ''this is spring bedding, so we''ll probably have the entire set here until June or so, but won''t get new stock after that,'' or ''we''ve had this style of dishware here for about 8 years, so chances are good it will still be around by the time your wedding comes.'' For some things, like placemats, its not such a big deal...but I would be annoyed if I got half a set of silverware and then couldn''t get any more.

Also, if you can pre-shop online to get an idea of what you want to put on your registry, it can be really helpful when you go to the store. Much less time spent getting bumped and jostled by the crowds while you dither about the pros and cons of ivory versus white

Anyway, off my soapbox now. I hope you find some dishes somewhere that you love even better than the original ones!

Well, they go by appointments and she first told me they had no slots open... My guess is that she called back because another woman grilled her about potentially losing our business, because she literally called back less than 5 minutes later.

Thanks for the tip, I will make sure to ask for dinnerware that stays in stock longer.

 

[anchor31]

Date: 2/5/2008 1:45:50 PM
Author: julabean
Ahh! Anchor, that is so frustrating! And I can completely understand how you feel! Macys discontinued half of my casual dinnerware just about a month ago, three months before our wedding! I had to rush out and buy the stuff that I really liked, just in case it still wasn''t on clearance by the time my wedding rolled around! I hope you''re able to find something you like!

UGH! What a pain! You have my sympathy.

 

[gtn]

Oh Anchor, I am so sorry. That truly sucks. Maybe if you post what your discontinued pattern is, we could help you find something similar.

As for feeling overwhelmed, I would suggest doing as Gypsy did, tackle the registry in pieces. I would also suggest going to specialty stores and asking the folks there. If you have a williams-sonoma in your area, they could help you narrow down your options so you know what you like or dislike. That way, you don''t have to depend on the department store employees to answer your questions.

 

[anchor31]

Date: 2/5/2008 3:07:37 PM
Author: bee*
Ugh how annoying! It is good that you found that out now though rather than just before the wedding, however I can definitely sympathise with how frustrating that is. D and I have been searching for ages for the perfect dinnerware set and we''re still no closer to finding one. I can only imagine how annoying it would be to find one but know that it''s been discontinued

Online registering sounds like it would be much easier!

Why is nice, casual dinnerware hard to find? In the store, J and I just kept asking ourselves why in the world was everything thin, pink and floral porcelain.

 

[anchor31]

Date: 2/5/2008 3:17:24 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Here ya go anchor...

<---------------

I feel your pain. I hate shopping. I do like housewares however. Hardly anyone bought from our registry (Koreans give cash) but we made a fun time out of it anyway. TGuy wanted to put everything and anything hideous on our registry to make people think we were wackier than we already are!

lol, I''ve definitely been in a "head banging" mood lately! I love houseware, especially since everything we own is old, out of style hand-me-downs, but shopping? Ack!

 

[anchor31]

Date: 2/5/2008 3:45:40 PM
Author: Independent Gal
Haha! We could put the Mint Julep mask on and then once we were all green and looking like aliens we could storm into The Bay and chase the evil staff around until they promised to give you good customer service in the future.

Then we could go eat pie. And ice cream!

Mouahahaha... Ooh, ice cream!

 

[onvacation]

Ooh, are you guys talking about Queen Helene''s? I just put some on last night with my BF! We looked like evil green smurfs

!!!

Sorry to hear about the registry fiasco. I''ve only been through one day of formal wedding planning so far, and I''m dreading the rest of it! And to think this is coming from a girl who lives to shop. Oy. At least your J was sweet about it! I think it''s great when the guys are excited about your new life together. You know the feeling, how sometimes it feels like you''re the only one who''s planning the wedding 24/7, even when in reality you''re so sick of everything and couldn''t care less about the nitpicky details? It''s just nice when the men show you they''re invested, too. We''ll be setting up our new place in the apartment unit I currently live in, so when I mentioned some design possibilities for the living room, my BF actually got more excited than me. He asked me to go to his lab at school that evening and worked up several designs on CAD for me to see the living room plans in 3D! So after that, I got carried away and got a little bench for the living room, then matching throw pillows. (I know, what am I thinking... Waaaaaay ahead of ourselves!) When he saw that, he picked up the couch and turned it around per our design, cuz he couldn''t wait to see what it would look like in person. He got all happy about his design and looked really proud, beaming at me for approval. Cute, huh?

Anyways, now that''s got me thinking, now that we''ve nearly finished the shopping ourselves, what do we register for??

Oh, right. Dishes. Back to the original topic!

 

[bee*]

Date: 2/5/2008 3:51:30 PM
Author: anchor31

Date: 2/5/2008 3:07:37 PM

Author: bee*

Ugh how annoying! It is good that you found that out now though rather than just before the wedding, however I can definitely sympathise with how frustrating that is. D and I have been searching for ages for the perfect dinnerware set and we''re still no closer to finding one. I can only imagine how annoying it would be to find one but know that it''s been discontinued

Online registering sounds like it would be much easier!

Why is nice, casual dinnerware hard to find? In the store, J and I just kept asking ourselves why in the world was everything thin, pink and floral porcelain.

I don''t know! If I saw another floral pattern

 

[zoebartlett]

Hi Anchor,

I''m sorry it was such a miserable experience. Registering is overwhelming, especially if you''re not a shopper (I have to be in the right mood otherwise it''s such a chore and NOT fun). Have you tried Crate and Barrel (www.crateandbarrel.com)? Oops. I just looked and apparently they''re not located in Canada. They should be -- lots of great things that are simple in design.

I agree with Gypsy about registering in short spurts. We went to Crate and Barrel and Macy''s in two separate trips because we were overwhelmed on the first trip out and needed a break. We found that once we had browsed the stores and got to know the types and styles of items, we could shop online. That made it so much easier and I''d definitely do that if that option is available to you. You can take your time, not feel rushed, and you can do it in your jammies if you want.

I think it was suggested that you ask what items in the area you''re looking at will be sticking around. Good advice! Friends of mine went through a similar experience to your. So many things went on clearance and they had to start over after their registry had been set up and people were buying from it. What a pain!

 

[jas]

Anchor, I have nothing to add but my sympathies. I swear, you should write a book. You are the wedding-planner-stamina queen!

XO,
Jackie

 

[sumbride]

I've been to The Bay in Montreal and it overwhelmed me too! I can't imagine trying to register there!!! I'm sorry you've already lost out on your fave dishes, but post what they are and we'll find something similar for you!!

 

[Harleigh]

Wow, Anchor, the Bay sounds like a much higher class IKEA, and that sounds just horrible to me!

I personally LOVE to shop, but just like with going to look at wedding dresses, the idea of going to a brick and mortar store and doing our registry makes me want to break out in hives again. So, with that terror in mind, I have only registered for things online at Bed, Bath and Beyond, which isn''t the best idea as I''m not actually seeing these things in person, but they have a decent return policy, unlike Target...erghhh!

I also told R he could knock himself out and register for tools at Home Depot for all I cared! Sadly, that''s the most excited I''ve seen him so far about wedding stuff...

I''m so sorry you''re having such a rough time...I feel your pain and am sending thoughtful hugs your way!

 

[anchor31]

Date: 2/5/2008 7:10:01 PM
Author: jas
Anchor, I have nothing to add but my sympathies. I swear, you should write a book. You are the wedding-planner-stamina queen!

XO,
Jackie

Hah, thanks, but I don''t feel like the queen of anything right now. I feel frustrated and stretched thin... I probably should take a break from wedding-related stuff for a few weeks.

 

[anchor31]

Date: 2/5/2008 7:31:31 PM
Author: sumbride


I''ve been to The Bay in Montreal and it overwhelmed me too! I can''t imagine trying to register there!!! I''m sorry you''ve already lost out on your fave dishes, but post what they are and we''ll find something similar for you!!

Well, if you go to www.hbc.com/registry, there''s a "registry guide" you can click on. Go to page 28; it''s the set in the middle called the "Noritake Kona Slate 4-piece place setting". It''s casual, seems durable and sturdy, and we liked the slate blue colour better than the coffee coloured one on page 9. I dunno. We''re going for blues and greens in the bedroom, greens and browns in the bathroom, maybe some whites and tans would look nice in the dining room. The servingware and bakeware we picked is white, maybe we could go with the coffee coloured set after all. I''m really not good at decorating and stuff!