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Anxious to get the engagement ring

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Why is it that people are always asking "when are you getting married?" "are you engaged yet?" like they think we won't tell anyone. Do they think we won't be bursting at the seams to scream from the rooftops and blinding everyone we know with our sparkly new accessories???????? Humans are so confusing... that's why I work with animals.
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I would just about strangle that lady at work! You'd think her behavior would have extinguished by now (yay learning jargon!!).... I guess she's just persistent (or living vicariously through you, and yes, pretty nuts).

And did I mention that my great-aunt and her daughters (my 2nd cousins??) were all giving us marriage advice last summer??? It's absolutely insane! I'm sure it doesn't help that I'm the first grandchild on both sides of the family and it looks like I'm the only one this close to marriage..... I like your response to your mom's question though.... I wonder if I can tweak it so it's appropriate for friends and acquaintances...
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LOL - your dad sounds awesome!!! I was showing my step-mother my p-ring right after I got it, and my dad walked by and said "Hmmmph! That should be MUCH bigger!!"
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He backed down when I reminded him of who would be paying for the wedding. Hee hee hee
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I'm honestly not all that worried about us getting engaged after Dec (he just told me that's what's going to happen, so if there are any changes, I want to know ASAP!!!!). What I'm *really* worried about is him spending all of his money on the ring and wedding he wants me to have and not saving anything for our marriage. And since he knows that I do NOT want to get engaged during Dec and now says it definitely won't be after Dec, I'm worried that he's trying to give me too much too soon while he's unemployed. I don't think he really understands that though, so I don't really know what to do...

Boys are so confusing!!!!!!!!!
 
If you are worried about him spending too much on the ring.. tell him that! .. Tell him you want him to save up some money for when you get married.
I used to tell my boyfriend that if we didn't have the stone from my parents that I would want a little bitty diamond... like 1/3 carat.. cuz I think they are SO pretty. And then we had a battle over the size of my side stones on the e-ring I'm getting. I wanted like .5 tw.. and he originally wanted 1ct TW.. The ring I am getting has .6 tw so it is a pretty good compromise. I was almost talked into one that was only .28 tw but then I reverted to REALLY wanting the setting that I picked out.. It was way more about the setting to me than the size of the side stones. He spent more than I had planned on him spending on my ring.. but he really WANTED to spend that much.. When I was looking at the .28 tw setting he wanted me to get in platinum just so he could spend more on it!!! I think boys have it in thier little brains that they have to spend a lot of money on e-rings.. Its sort of silly.. You can't ALWAYS talk them out if it.. but I think if he realizes that it is what you REALLY WANT (him not spending a lot) he will oblige.

Hehe.. and then there is my sister.. When we showed her the picture of my setting.. she said.. "You could always have them customize it to hold bigger side stones.." I wanted to SCREAM! But that is the difference between my sister and me..

Do you both live at home now? I am sure you don't make much money as a grad student.. I don't get a stipend at all as a masters student, but I know the ones the pH.D students get are not really enough to survive on. Does he have any job at all or just not a "real" job? I feel like I'm being nosy.. but I'm just wondering if everyone else is as broke as me.. lol..
I hope he gets that job though. That would be fabulous for you guys.. Then you wouldn't have to worry as much about money for when you are married.

Melissa
 
Hello All,

I have been lurking around this site for a little over a month now and I have particulary enjoyed following this post. I definitely feel all of your pain! My bf and I have been dating since High School. I graduated from college in 2003 and have been working in "the real world" for about a year. My bf just graduated in 2004 and was able to get a really good job. (he had it lined up in April before he graduated) he is such a nerd. Anyways, I had initially hoped that we would get engaged this summer and married next, but after MANY discussions, it looks like we won't be getting engaged until next spring.

At first I was VERY frustrated by this, but my bf is the most responsible human on earth and he had very good reasons for wanting to wait. I suppose neither of us really want to rush anything and we ARE young. We are just now starting the searching process because we both very picky and want to be prepared and well informed when we finally go to make the purchase.

We just started living together in July and we are running out of excuses for family and friends as to why we are waiting. It is frustrating to constantly have to explain why we aren't engaged yet, especially when it really isn't MY decision. I'm sure you all understand this. I am very excited to be posting for the first time as I have enjoyed listening to you all for so long. Just wanted to introduce myself! I'm sure I have much to learn from all of your experiences and can also share in your pain and frustrations!

tlmd
 
Welcome tlmd! You know you have shoulders to lean on here - and ears that understand... Glad you posted - I have really enjoyed my experience here at Pricescope and you will be sure to find a boat load of information when it comes time for the big purchase
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This thread in particular has been great for us "ladies in waiting" ...and provided much reassurance that we're not crazy or alone in how we've felt
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Luckily, my waiting was over when my sweetie took me on a suprise vacation and proposed a week ago today. It was amazing.

I lived with my BF for a year before we were engaged - it was really tough, constantly being asked "when, why not yet?" etc. Although I remember it was rather tormenting at times - it was all worth the wait - and I feel good about everything....I pretty much haven't thought about the "wait" since the engagement. It's just like the excitement replaces those feelings.

Anyway, you know you always have an ear at Pricescope!

~Lisa
 
Lisa,

I read all about your wonderful engagement. You are truly lucky to have found someone who would do something so special. Your ring is absolutely breathtaking. I am so glad I came across pricescope. I'm sure it will be an excellent resource for information AND understanding! I have to admit though - it is very addicting. It was bad enough when I was just reading everyone elses posts......now that I have begun posting I don't think I'll be able to stop!

tlmd
 
TLMD,

Your story sounds JUST like mine (with the only difference that my boyfriend and I graduated college at the same time a year ago). We have also been dating since high school, and what's weird, we've been living together since July too! I know just how you feel - everyone's expecting it, you're ready, the only problem is - he's not!

All I can say, it will happen (hasn't for me yet, but I know he's bought the ring... hopefully, any day now). In the meantime, try not to stress too much about it. I did, and I think I made myself more unhappy then I needed to be.
 
tlmd,

I was going to warn you about your forthcoming addiction - it definitely happens - but I love it! PS has been great - everyone is so nice and helpful.

I do feel incredibley lucky to have my new fiance. He is so kind, generous, thoughtful...I could go on and on. I hope everyone else gets to experience the same kind of love that he and I have for each other.

I can't stop posting and checking this site daily - it's a lot of fun. Enjoy
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Welcome TMLD.. You will love it here. and will definitely become addicted..
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Do you know what kind of ring you want yet?

Melissa
 
Choo Choo - Our situation does sound similar. How is living together going? I had thought it would be harder but other than the engagement issue things have gone so smoothly. I had always thought that I wanted to wait to move in together until we were engaged but the intention is there so I am pretty comfortable with it. We would have spent all our time together anyways, might as well save some money. (more money for the ering!!) When do you think you'll get your ring? What kind did you pick out? Was it a tough decision? I am horrible at decision making. I think it will be hard for me to find just ONE I like.

Ever since I found pricescope I have really relaxed about the engagement issue actually. I think listening to everyone here and finding a place to come to helps. I think it will be better to gripe to you guys then him!


MS - I am not sure what kind of ring I want yet. I have looked and I find soooo many that I like. My taste isn't even very consistent. I think I won't know until I actually go and try several different styles on.
 
"If you are worried about him spending too much on the ring.. tell him that! .... I think boys have it in thier little brains that they have to spend a lot of money on e-rings...."

~*~ I did tell him, but I don't think he really wanted to hear it.... you're right about boys and their brains.... a bigger diamond is better, it's a symbol of how I'm going to take care of you later on, blah blah blah... He did seem to understand me when I pointed out that we could have a great long honeymoon if he just didn't buy me a ring, so maybe there's hope!
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I'll try to get through to him again though... Maybe I'm going to end up an anxious-to-get-the-e-ring lifer!!!
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Or the youngest member of H.A.G.S.
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" Do you both live at home now? I am sure you don't make much money as a grad student.. I don't get a stipend at all as a masters student, but I know the ones the pH.D students get are not really enough to survive on. Does he have any job at all or just not a 'real' job? I feel like I'm being nosy.. but I'm just wondering if everyone else is as broke as me.. lol.. "

~*~ He lives at home, and doesn't have any job at all. He was downsized from his last job over 2 years ago, and he hasn't found anything since then. So you can see why I'm worried about this deadline thing he's doing to himself! The more I think about the situation, the less and less I want to get married "right now". I'd feel so much better about it if he was at least working at McDonalds or something. "New jobs" my @$$... (don't pay any attention to what politicians say; pay attention to what they actually do!!) Anyways, hopefully this new job prospect will actually follow through. However, it's been almost a week and they haven't called him yet... I am going to be a lifer!
Science is *much* better than other fields of study about providing their graduate students with a sufficient stipend, so I can afford my own apartment and a starving-student-frugal lifestyle fairly comfortably. My cats, however, are totally spoiled and livin' the good life!
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My advisor takes both psych and bio grad students, so my psych labmate knows this first-hand. Our advisor has to supplement her psych stipend by a considerable amount to be comparable to a bio stipend!

OK, I think that I've successfully come to the conclusion that money is the devil.
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Who's with me?
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TLMD,

Living together is great! Unfortunately, he's too busy with work right now for us to spend as much time together as I would like. I live for the weekends!

A couple of pictures of my Tacori setting are on page 3, I think - that's what I'm waiting on, with a 1.34 E SI1 round stone we picked out together. Posting one below, too, in case you can't find them.
 
Can't repost, but here is the link to the page, just scroll down:

My Tacori setting
 
Choo Choo - Wow your ring absolutely beautiful. I have always been a big fan of Tacori. Sounds like you have an amazing stone picked out as well. You must be pretty anxious to get it on your finger! How long did it take you to come to a final decision? Did you always know you wanted a Tacori? Did you purchase the diamond online or at a local jeweler? I know that most people on this forum are advocates for purchasing online as long as you go with a reputable vendor, but I have to admit I am not quite sure about it yet.
 
Hi TLMD,

We bought the diamond online and the ring at a B&M jewelry store (we didn't find a huge discount on Tacoris online). I always loved their designs, but I didn't think my boyfriend would want to spend this much on a setting. But he saw my stash of Tacori pictures and said "why haven't you showed me these?" We went and looked at them together and loved them, so that's what we got.
 
Well, cross another one off the list - I'm engaged!!!!
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It was an amazing proposal, he went to so much effort and the ring is gorgeous - I'll post more details on both later once I have photos
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NO FAIR!! I wanted to be next!! LOL..

CONGRATULATIONS JENNA!!! You must tell us allllll about it and post pics for us!!! Lucky lucky girl!

Melissa
 
Heh heh....one down, (hopefully) four more to go and then it's my turn!!
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(Boy, I should probably let him know he's on a timetable now, huh!!
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)
 
goldengirl...you definitely won't be the last on the list...it'll be me and my lonesome with no sympathetic ears to cry to!
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I'm so jealous (and happy
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) for all the girls who've left us behind. ok...no complaints...i haven't bee waiting for all that long and we've barely started the ring process so...ladies, go on ahead, I'll catch up as soon as i can
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Time for a new list!!

THE LIST is NOW:
  • Me
  • ChooChoo
  • GingerBCookie
  • GoldenGirl
  • Cute330xigirl
  • Reena
  • 1215n
  • JCJD
  • JKohio
  • TMLD

So we crossed one off, but added another.
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My boyfriend only has 10 more days until the end of THIS month, which he said was the latest... even though he said LAST month would be the latest.. AHHH!
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> I'm doing okay though!

Melissa
 
I dunno, Ginger--I think "technically", we haven't even started the process yet! I mean, he was asking me some questions about style preferences, but I don't think he expected me to "run with it" the way I did. He expressed some "overwhelmed-ness" so I've let it go and he's not talking. I kinda have some ideas why, when, the reasons, et cetera...I'm not impatient. Well, I'm a little impatient, but I'm MORE impatient about getting a copy of The Sims 2, which he has mysteriously forbidden me to buy despite the fact I have been waiting for this game to come out for a YEAR. All he'll say is he's "taking care of it."
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Anyway, so what I'm saying is, we're not going anywhere with this fast. That's okay though, because the longer I'm on this site, the less sure I am about my preferences. Maybe by the time he's really ready, I'll have pinned down what I want FOR SURE, no more changing my mind! LOL...
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I might as well add myself to this list, my bf mentioned in passing that the e-ring might be done by the time I come to visit in a few days. (I live on the east coast in Canada, and he lives on the West coast in the USA). And I was like ooohhh, that was quick I thought it might take a month to make, so I am a little excited about if he is going to pop the question this weekend. Very exciting.
 
kaya - Welcome to the list! Kinda funny that he would tell you that!I hope that this is your weekend! Did you pick out your ring together?

Melissa
 
Melissa- thanks for the welcome, yeah its not a surprise per say, I choose my e-ring band because I have small hands and he wanted to make sure I got something I liked. And seeing how we live in diff countries its a lot of planning anyways, so I dragged him to GOG and we choose the stone then I looked that the setting I wanted and he took it from there. But I dont think its going to be this weekend, he doesnt have insurance yet and he said he will look into it next week.
 
Add me to the list! I've been reading everyone’s stories and glad to see im not alone! Funny how silly we can get over such a little thing...
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I finally broke my silence about Feb (yet another V-Day passed) and told the BF that I was ready for the ring (we've been talking about marriage for several years and id been waiting, patiently!). So we looked around, he realized the kinda money he needed to save up and said we would look again about June. I was okay with that. June passed and in July I said something about looking and he told me no. I lost it. You cant tease me about something ive been wanting for the last two years!!! Like everyone else has said, friends and co-workers left and right were getting rings and getting married. All were either younger, or had been dating less time, which made it even more aggravating. He told me we’d go the end of August after he pointed out what a brat I had been (which I admit I was... I was just jealous and got really excited that it was finally going to happen!!!)

So I calmed myself and found this wonderful mecca of diamond knowledge and decided exactly what I wanted and last week we went looking! He wouldn’t let me know his budget and told me to pick out exactly what I wanted... SO... my birthday is coming up in a couple weeks and I’m hoping it’s the lucky day!!!
 
Welcome NJC - How long have you and your b/f been dating? Isn't ring shopping so much fun? The first time we ever went looking was soo much fun.. Its the wating after the ring shopping that SUCKS. And, I don't think you were being a brat at all. If he told you that you could go ring shopping again in June, you should have gone! Even if he didn't have the money right then.. he could have at least indulged you by looking.

BOTH NJC and KAYA - YOU HAVE TO TELL US ABOUT THE RINGS AND STONES YOU PICKED OUT!!!!! hehe

Melissa
 
Okay new list.. we have afew new members!
  • Me
  • ChooChoo
  • GingerBCookie
  • GoldenGirl
  • Cute330xigirl
  • Reena
  • 1215n
  • JCJD
  • JKohio
  • TMLD
  • kaya
  • NJC

Its getting long again! We'd better have some cross offs (i.e ME) soon!!!



I have to share this awful dream I had last night.. Well last night my b/f was being a little bit of a jerk.. just being real snappy with me.. and he kind of hurt my feelings and he didn't really apologize or anything before he left, so I went to bed kind of mad at him and I was having trouble sleeping because I was upset.. and then when I finally fell asleep I had this dream.

So I don't know how it started, but I think that he was getting ready to leave my house or something and he pulled my e-ring out his pocket to give to me. He didn't SAY anything or anything.. just held it up, as though it was his whole proposal.. So i said "Yes" even though there was no question asked.. and i put on the ring.. and I realized...that it.. WAS NOT my setting, but instead a custom setting he had made, it had a RUBY for the center stone instead of my diamond and it WAS TOO BIG!!! So at first I just tried to be happy about it.. but the more I was showing it to people, the more I would get mad, so I ended up yelling at him about it.. but then I felt really bad because I shouldn't be mad about my e-ring, when it was something that he put a lot of work into.. but I was still mad.. but I felt bad at the same time.. I don't really know what happened in my dream after that.. I think I am just glad that it WAS ONLY A DREAM

My b/f would never do something that silly in real life.. He wants to give me exactly what I want.. I found that wedding dress I want in a magazine again last night and he told me "YOU ARE GOING TO GET THAT DRESS" He really just wants me to be happy. If only he would just PROPOSE.. that would really make me happy. hehe

Melissa
 
Melissa - We’ve been dating for over 4 years. Ring shopping was fun, just too much out there to pick JUST ONE! When I would put a couple on my fingers to compare side by side my BF would go, “I’m only buying one… I’m not getting you one for each of your fingers!” So he was in good humor about it.

Its so different to put rings on your finger when you’ve looked at pictures for so long. The funny thing was I ended up liking rings that I never thought I would. I knew I LOVED the antique look of hand engraving and the milligrain, but was surprised how much I liked the tiny, thinner bands. I figured with my giant size 7 knuckles it would look funny, but they looked great. I guess my fingers being 3 feet long helped!

So here are my 3 picks. These are as close to the real rings as I could find. The first 2 are a jaffe’s, both with the flat bottoms. The third is good ol’ tacori! I liked the designer settings, but I told him it was the actual ring and not the name attached to it that I liked, so if he found something cheaper, or had something made that would be cool (more $$$ for the stone!)
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And for the diamond...

I didn’t pick out a specific stone, but he knows what I would like.
Round (extremely well cut so the color can go lower)
.75-1ct+ (ideally .85 and of course would be happier with bigger!)
D-J color (as long as it faces up white)
VS2-SI2 (very eye-clean)
And I think fluorescence would be kinda cool (esp with a lower color!)

So I am excited to see what he comes up with! And glad i found you guys!!!
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NJC-
Very nice choices! I think they're all gorgeous. I think the tacori might be my fave, but it is probably also the most $$! I think I just like it because of the thin band.
My setting is A. Jaffe too.. if you haven't caught that from all the babbling I've been doing about it. I loooove it. but I've nver seen it in real life.. I am sure I will love it though. Come to think of it.. We told this one jewelery store to get one in for us to see in person.
We decided against buying from them, because they were a little bit jerky.. but I wonder if they ever got one in for us to see, and my b/f just didn't tell me because he had already ordered the real ring from the other store. Not really fair! I would have liked to have seen it.. I guess I will soon enough though..
Melissa
 
I can't resist posting ANOTHER pic of my e-ring. This is a more "real-life" view than the one from A.Jaffe's website. That one looks not real, almost. So.. this one is not mine.. but I will have mine soon

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