BAHAHAHA...this is what happens when you assign a wedding chore to a man!!

[TravelingGal]

Oh my goodness...I don''t know whether to laugh or to...laugh harder....

Background: Since I work from home, I have done a lot of the wedding planning. It was a matter of who was worse at planning...him or me, and I was the best of the worst. So for the most part, I researched, and he looked at choices and helped me. It really has been a fun process and he admits he''s enjoyed how stress free it has been.

One of his tasks was to pick our first dance song. He went through his song collection a few months ago and kept asking me "what about this?" Well, the lyrics on a lot of them were BAD...he just chose them because he liked the song. Now, keep in mind his job was to "pick", not find. As I was browsing pricescope, I found the song "Beyond the Sea" which is not a cheesy slow song, and the words are perfect for us. I showed it to him and he liked it a lot, and said he wanted it for our first dance.

Without knowing it, I think I emasculated him.

To him "pick" meant FIND. I only meant that since he loves music, he would have the final yay or nay. So I find out during a silly argument that he is harboring resentment over this, and says I took his job away from him. I felt bad, but I can''t take the past back.

So we agree that he will go out and get the guest book. This was weeks ago. Well, after our second (and hopefully last) tif about the wedding the other night, where he hurt my feelings on a DIY project for the wedding (I actually have to agree with him now, and have redone them and we both love it), he has gotten off his bum and gotten the guest book.

Correction: VISITOR''S BOOK.

Keep in mind, our entire wedding has a beachy feel to it (we''re getting married on the beach, for goodness sake). I don''t want to emasculate him any further, due to the initial incident, but this thing borders on hilarious. A visitor''s book? Can you call guests at the wedding visitors?

So do I keep it mum and just deal? Or gently ask if we can return and get another one? He left it on the table for me this morning, so he has not yet seen my reaction to it. And my reaction to was shake my head a bit with a smile, then go into full fledged helpless laughter...

Here it is....

 

[TravelingGal]

And one with a flash, so you can see the lovely...uh...snakeskinish texture? LOL...

BTW, I know some men are great at this stuff, but mine just is....not.

 

[TravelingGal]

So, if you do think I should bring it up and swap this out, then I need help finding one we can use, where I can pick it up at a physical store since we don''t have time to get it shipped to us....

 

[Mara]

GIRL why is he even helping with this stuff! Obviously he''s a typical BOY. Give him a chore like putting stamps on the invites. That''s foolproof right? Does he really want to help? Greg wanted nothing to do with any planning stuff, thank goodness.

That visitor''s book is hilarious. Very manly man.

I have no real advice. I can merely offer snarky comments and smirks. Good luck.

 

[MustangGal]

Do you know any crafty people that could maybe cover it in fabric or something? It would be pretty easy to add some satin over the top, and then you could still use it. Or, for the memory, just keep it. It''ll just be laying open the whole time anyway, so really only you two will see the cover...

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 9/28/2006 2:24:38 PM
Author: Mara
GIRL why is he even helping with this stuff! Obviously he''s a typical BOY. Give him a chore like putting stamps on the invites. That''s foolproof right? Does he really want to help? Greg wanted nothing to do with any planning stuff, thank goodness.

That visitor''s book is hilarious. Very manly man.

I have no real advice. I can merely offer snarky comments and smirks. Good luck.

Gee thanks Mara...I can always count on you for the snarky goodness...LOL.....

That''s the thing...I think I *thought* I should have him do something where he gets to have fun picking, and not just a chore. I also figured that even a plan guest book that says guest book would be fine...I wouldn''t care (I don''t normally care about little details) but this doesn''t even say guest book!

Mustanggirl I would rather keep it than cover it. I don''t want him to think I''m ashamed of his work...hee hee.

Oh my god, I''m laughing so hard, I think I''m going to die......

 

[curlygirl]

That is absolutely hysterical!!! I think you can probably go to any stationery store or gift shop type of place and they''ll have something more suitable. But that is just soo funny! What a good guy, at least he tried...

 

[sumbride]

By any chance does it not go with your color scheme?

It looks like something you might use at a funeral viewing...

If you want to just go with it, nobody besides the two of you will see the cover as it will be open to be signed, but, um... maybe he did it as a joke????

Did he want tasks or did you just want to make him feel included?

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 9/28/2006 2:33:47 PM
Author: sumbride
By any chance does it not go with your color scheme?

It looks like something you might use at a funeral viewing...

If you want to just go with it, nobody besides the two of you will see the cover as it will be open to be signed, but, um... maybe he did it as a joke????

Did he want tasks or did you just want to make him feel included?

Oh my god, now I laughing so hard, I am crying. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

No joke...my poor boy is Australian and very "blokey". Normally I swear he has great taste (we tend have no issues) but I know what happened here. He felt bad that he procrastinated, went into a store, couldn''t find anything good and went "f*ck it" and just bought this thing.

I emailed one friend and she told me to spill coffee on it!

 

[sumbride]

Maybe after the wedding you can do a collage with some wedding pictures on the cover? It could look cool. COULD.

 

[Mara]

LOL I like the way your friends think TG!!!!

SumBride asked a good Q. Does he WANT to be assigned tasks like this? OR would he be happier just....say...putting the stamps on the envelopes? hehee. I can totally appreciate you wanting to include him but he may be happiest NOT included?

Hey the book cover kind of matches with Roachetta''s beret color. Maybe there''s a theme going on here?

 

[Kaleigh]

What a riot!! This cracked me up. Yeah let him do the stamps on the invites. The book does look kinda like one you''d sign at a funeral. Oh well at least he tried!!!

 

[TravelingGal]

He *wanted* it...volunteered for it. He knows I am stressed because I am so bad at planning these things. I have one week to go and still have no flowers or centerpieces.

He was doing it help me, not because he loves shopping for visitor...er..guest books.

So help ladies...what would YOU do in this situation, knowing the background? I really am at a loss. Do I care that much about this thing to hurt his feelings? Will his feelings even be hurt? The dilemma continues.............

 

[TravelingGal]

Oh my god...he''s got one more thing to prepare for the wedding...we are each saying something personal before the vows. What if he says something inappropriate like "I love you from the first moment we had what I thought was a one night stand?" Can I trust him after the snakeskin visitor''s book????

 

[Mara]

well considering that you DONT care that much about these things, based on your previous comments re: wedding planning...just use the morgue book!! i mean how bad could it really be?

OR just tip the coffee cup and decision made. then get one from a local stationery store and say your Mom found it for you guys and you would never dream of hurting her feelings by not using her gift that coincidentally matches your color scheme and does not look like a funeral home purchased it in bulk.

 

[decodelighted]

Okay ... I almost squeezed some biological fluids out over this one.

But seriously, how 'bout this .... will it be on a table? Maybe you could get some raffia or more beachy placemats or tray or something to display it on. It WILL be OPEN the whole time ... How's the INSIDE? (does it have a column for "memories of the deceased" or something

)

"Beach" it up with a fun pen too or something.

Don't think I'd replace it entirely - not with the previous "slap" to his ego.

ETA: BTW - yesterday the Sweetie & I were stocking up on craftin' materials at Michaels and I was looking for a hat box to decoupage for our "gift cards" holder. He pulls me over to look at one of those pre-fab white satin quilted, pearl encrusted, sequin nightmare thing simply labeled "Gift Card Box". Well, yes, that is what we need but HELL TO THE NO! BARN WEDDING! I think he knew I'd hate it but didn't want to risk missing out on something labeled EXACTLY what I was running around looking for. Guys: they're LITERAL.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 9/28/2006 2:45:36 PM
Author: Mara
well considering that you DONT care that much about these things, based on your previous comments re: wedding planning...just use the morgue book!! i mean how bad could it really be?

OR just tip the coffee cup and decision made. then get one from a local stationery store and say your Mom found it for you guys and you would never dream of hurting her feelings by not using her gift that coincidentally matches your color scheme and does not look like a funeral home purchased it in bulk.

Yes, but what if people leave upon encountering this thing because they think they''re at a funeral?

 

[codex57]

Did he want those tasks, or did you throw out suggestions and he picked one?

Us men generally don't do decorations and things of that nature very well. Wedding chores for the typical male fall along the lines of "Go down to the florist and drop off our deposit" or "Here's a list of items (along with pictures) of things that are needed to create the wedding favors. Go online and find the cheapest price you can." "The invitation person screwed up. Go yell at them and get them to make it right!" is a good use of the groom's skills. We men have things we're good at and things we're bad at. Choosing something "appropriate" typically isn't our strong suit. Think army. You're the drill sargeant. Bark out the order that you want followed.

Yes, it'd be nice to have a man that can think on his own for this stuff. Unfortunately, most guys just aren't too good in the wedding arena. That's why the US Army is bigger than the US Marine Corp.

The key is to phrase the request in a way so he can't screw up. Let him pick btw 2 choices which you've already preapproved. He gets final say so he's "involved." You're ok with either choice. If you like one more than the other, do some subtle (or not so subtle) moves to make it more obvious. Sometimes, he'll pick the right one.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 9/28/2006 2:48:13 PM
Author: decodelighted
Okay ... I almost squeezed some biological fluids out over this one.

But seriously, how ''bout this .... will it be on a table? Maybe you could get some raffia or more beachy placemats or tray or something to display it on. It WILL be OPEN the whole time ... How''s the INSIDE? (does it have a column for ''memories of the deceased'' or something

)

''Beach'' it up with a fun pen too or something.

Don''t think I''d replace it entirely - not with the previous ''slap'' to his ego.

Inside has yellowish paper with three columns: date, name/address and comments.

It''s going to clash with the white beach frame with pics we are going have at the sign in table...even if no one ever sees the outside.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 9/28/2006 2:48:13 PM
Author: decodelighted
Guys: they're LITERAL.

(In a small voice): but I said GUEST book...

 

[Tacori E-ring]

TG, that is SO funny! Poor guy. At least he tried.

 

[sumbride]

Address??? It has a place for addresses???? Well, that would be helpful if you hadn''t already gotten everybody''s address to send them the invitation...

You so need to spill coffee on that thing.

 

[TravelingGal]

Here is the guest book open with the frame we are going to use (nothing fancy). Obviously the pics are not of us yet...

 

[wifey2b]

Date: 9/28/2006 3:00:00 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 9/28/2006 2:48:13 PM
Author: decodelighted
Guys: they''re LITERAL.

(In a small voice): but I said GUEST book...

giggle - so he guessed at the wrong book...giggle... ok, but you can''t help but chuckle. I just sighed relief tho...we had one given to us as a bridal gift, and then just before i went to visit strm this summer, the same people gave us the matching cake knife and server...isn''t that nice :}
I am sure something will/can be worked out. If it doesn''t hurt his feelings, maybe he could exchange it.

 

[turtledazzle]

Oh my gosh -- this had me laughing out loud at my desk. Too funny.

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 9/28/2006 2:45:36 PM
Author: Mara

then get one from a local stationery store and say your Mom found it for you guys and you would never dream of hurting her feelings by not using her gift that coincidentally matches your color scheme and does not look like a funeral home purchased it in bulk.

I''d go with this.......or I''d "misplace" the other one (well enough that it''s misplaced for the wedding) causing you to have to go pick up another one.

 

[galeteia]

My responses to this thread was along the lines of:

Ahhh! *light bulb goes on* Oh dear. *facepalm* Snicker at responses. Giggle at others.

Then I got to Codex:

Date: 9/28/2006 2:48:22 PM
Author: codex57
Us men generally don''t do decorations and things of that nature very well. Wedding chores for the typical male fall along the lines of ''Go down to the florist and drop off our deposit'' or ''Here''s a list of items (along with pictures) of things that are needed to create the wedding favors. Go online and find the cheapest price you can.'' ''The invitation person screwed up. Go yell at them and get them to make it right!'' is a good use of the groom''s skills. We men have things we''re good at and things we''re bad at. Choosing something ''appropriate'' typically isn'' our strong suit. Think army. You''re the drill sargeant. Bark out the order that you want followed.


Yes, it''d be nice to have a man that can think on his own for this stuff. Unfortunately, most guys just aren''t too good in the wedding arena. That''s why the US Army is bigger than the US Marine Corp.

I was chuckling over the ''man-friendly tasks'' and then the bolded part made me laugh out loud, then get wet eyes, then run to rescue my bladder. Why is this so funny? Because''t it''s SO TRUE.

I vote for either telling him "Um, honey, did you realize you got a funeral visitation book for our wedding?" or spill coffee on it route.

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 9/28/2006 2:48:22 PM
Author: codex57

The key is to phrase the request in a way so he can''t screw up. Let him pick btw 2 choices which you''ve already preapproved. He gets final say so he''s ''involved.'' You''re ok with either choice. If you like one more than the other, do some subtle (or not so subtle) moves to make it more obvious. Sometimes, he''ll pick the right one.

Straight from the Y-chromosome mouth......and sage advice.

 

[turtledazzle]

Well, after looking at the frame and the book pages together, I really think you need to have white pages in the book (and this is coming from someone who normally doesn''t care about such details). The ivory pages just don''t look very good next to that frame. Maybe if you point that out to him, he''ll see it as well and go to a Hallmark store and get an actual guestbook in white???

 

[TravelingGal]

Well, thanks for the laughs and giggles.

I''ve thought about it. I think what I find disconcerting is his lack of effort in finding it, more than the book itself. And yes, boys will be boys...so I would have been fine with that EXCEPT two nights ago we got into an argument because he didn''t feel like my DIY project was quite right. I redid them all, and we both like them. He even said they didn''t fit with the colors and theme well enough, and he was right.

So if he seems to understand there is a theme, why this morgue book? It was just slack attitude....

HOWEVER, it''s not worth the battle, as much as I would LOVE to ask him what drugs he was on. I know the pages look really bad with the frame. But people don''t even remember what the bride is wearing (and really, who does?), much less a guestbook. It may be a good laugh years down the road when I show our kids what a terrible guestbook their father chose.

I had a good talk with the friend who recommended I spill the coffee on it. She advised that there are battles worth picking, and this is not one of them. No matter if he takes it well, or not so well, I think it will hurt his feelings, and that is not worth something that was never on my "top three wedding goals (see other thread). He did say he wished he was honest with me about the DIY project from the get go, instead of pretending that he liked it, so that is my only reasoning for telling him. But ultimately, I think I would be a tad spiteful.

Oh, but it''s just so UGLY.............