"Black-Tie Optional" what to wear?

[diamondfan]

Monnie, my dh would argue with you that I am practical, but I hate to buy shoes or a bag for one outfit and never use them again, so I try to find ways to avoid it. I actually am laughing because I fell in love with that nude/pink/bronze tone and bought some shoes in those colors and had no bag. I was reading the current US magazine and saw this little clutch by Rodo that has been spotten on some celebs and thought it was cute. I walked into Saks after and saw that exact bag in the nude/pink/bronze tone! How funny, since I love the color and whenever I wanted to wear the shoes I would think, what bag? I tend to own darker colors or metallics but nothing worked...so now I am getting the clutch. And though it is dressy, I love jeans with a lacey top and add in the sandals and clutch, it looks so cute!

 

[dtnyc]

you can''t go wrong with metallic shoes- silver or gold. I think that gold warms the whole look up a bit and you could still wear the chocolate wrap. Choco and pale pink look great together and the gold would just be that touch of holiday glam.

I wore gold strappy heels for a friends wedding- we wore navy cocktail length dresses and gold shoes of our own choice, and the gold shoes if strappy enough almost disappear into many skin tones. also w/ the gold since they "blend" into your legs, they can make your legs look longer.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 11/29/2006 4:52:02 PM
Author: dtnyc
you can''t go wrong with metallic shoes- silver or gold. I think that gold warms the whole look up a bit and you could still wear the chocolate wrap. Choco and pale pink look great together and the gold would just be that touch of holiday glam.

I wore gold strappy heels for a friends wedding- we wore navy cocktail length dresses and gold shoes of our own choice, and the gold shoes if strappy enough almost disappear into many skin tones. also w/ the gold since they ''blend'' into your legs, they can make your legs look longer.

Good idea...I would definitely like to incorporate the choc. wrap. And that is a great point about the way gold/neutral tones blend into many skin tones and lengthen the leg line!

 

[monarch64]

I ordered these this morning...they're not gold/silver/champage, but I felt like they would tie in better with the choc. wrap and I also ordered a satin clutch from JCrew in espresso. I love me some sparkly shoes!

ETA: They're not totally impractical--I also have a brown Laundry halter dress that I plan to wear for New Year's Eve, so I think they will go with it as well...

 

[Dee*Jay]

Oh la la! I LOVE those shoes!!!

 

[belle]

those shoes are supercute monarch!

well done!

 

[monarch64]

Yay! Thanks for the approval, DeeJay and Belle!

I was determined not to buy the JC slingbacks in espresso for $185, so I''m soooo glad I found these for $88! Much easier on the ol'' wallet!

 

[Lorelei]

Nice trotters Mon

 

[diamondfan]

Those are great. I have a pair of shoes that are very similar, in black. You will be able to wear them again I am sure. I cannot wait to see it all together!

 

[belle]

''nice trotters''
i love that.


i hope you''ll share some pics with us when you get it all put together!

 

[monarch64]

Hehee, "nice trotters"--I think I have to steal that one from ya Lorelei--too cute!

Of COURSE I will share pics with you ladies! How could I deny you after all your wardrobe consulting/assistance???

 

[monarch64]

Ooo, and gals, since I''m going with the pink/chocolate theme....should I do Essie "Chocolate Kisses", OPI "Espresso Your Style," OR go with pale pink--either "Mademoiselle" or "BubbleBath"?

 

[monarch64]

Chocolate kisses...

 

[belle]

as i started typing my first answer, which was to go with the pink, i started thinking that the choco could work.

what i''m saying is...i don''t know! i like them both. do you have them already?
i do like the dark polish for fall/winter.....
(of course, here i am wearing sugar daddy!

)
which would you feel more comfortable in?

 

[monarch64]

I do have these colors already, hehee. I love either browns or pinks on my nails, but I think I would be better off going with a light pink in case I get any unsightly chips.

 

[belle]

Date: 11/30/2006 3:28:27 PM
Author: monarch64
I do have these colors already, hehee. I love either browns or pinks on my nails, but I think I would be better off going with a light pink in case I get any unsightly chips.

good thinking!

 

[diamondfan]

I am not sure. What about the lighter on your fingers and the darker on the toes so it blends with the shoes?

 

[hlmr]

Date: 11/30/2006 11:50:29 PM
Author: diamondfan
I am not sure. What about the lighter on your fingers and the darker on the toes so it blends with the shoes?

I like that idea!

 

[diamondfan]

Thanks! I do that a lot, like I have Nars Chinatown on my toes and Lippman Prelude to a Kiss on my fingers. I rarely go matchy matchy...

 

[monarch64]

I like the idea of brown on the toes, pink on the hands! If I can get over my "matchy-matchyness) for one weekend re. the nail polish I think I can handle this!

Ok, let me run one more thing past you all: I am really looking to make sort of a conservative statement for this event with my apparel/accessories...DH has informed me that this will be sort of an different occasion than I'm accustomed to as far as the location of the event, who will be there (his fellow board members and their wives), etc. Basically, we will most likely be the youngest couple there at 36 and 29, while the rest of the guests average around 15 yrs. older. There will be lots of dancing, which DH hates. I got him through 3 out of 10 sessions of ballroom dance lessons before our wedding 3.5 yrs ago before he started avoiding the class...we DID learn the waltz fairly well, so I know we're good for a few numbers, LOL!

Getting to the point/question here: I just want to be sure that my attire is appropriate for the Atlanta social scene...most of these people who will be attending are from the Southeast and myself being raised somewhat southern and Baptist as well means I am very concerned with being ladylike and turned out appropriately for the occasion.

I know the dress is very low-cut, but it is something I will get more use from and is very flattering to my figure without being CRAZY sexy. I also plan to wear hose (

I know, I'm old-fashioned, but dammit, it IS winter, lol!) They will be a nude tone, and control top so as my behind is not all jiggly, he hee. I will have the chocolate wrap to cover my shoulders with...I probably sound totally nutty but just need alittle reassurance for some reason. Ever get that feeling of remorse when you purchase something you really love and then think, "wait, maybe this isn't exactly right?" I know--"buyer's remorse"--I am totally feeling that right now!

 

[Dee*Jay]

Oh Monarch, I totally understand what you''re going through, both about being "appropriate" for the occasion and also in terms of buyer''s remorse. Don''t worry though; everything you have bought is very tasteful. And you have a good idea with the wrap. Here is another suggestion: Maybe take a brooch with you and if you decide that you want to wear the wrap toss one end over your shoulder and pin it so it looks like you *meant* to have it on.

 

[KimberlyH]

I think you should let go of the matchy-matchyness for the weekend (and I know how hard it is, I have the same disease).

As for the the social aspect, I have never been to a social event in the south; I am a California girl born and raised, which means that anything goes, so you may take what I say with a grain of salt. That being said, I think that dress is absolutely classy and stylish and a bit Jackie O. and I so would not worry that it isn''t right for the occasion. I''d have my hair done in a conservative style (think chingon (sp?)) and wear conservative jewelry (pearl earrings, pearl necklace) and call it a day. Because the shoes and the dress are absolutely beautiful and I''m sure you will look wonderful and fit right in.

Has your husband seen the dress? What does he think about it?

 

[monarch64]

Date: 12/1/2006 10:49:22 AM
Author: Dee*Jay
Oh Monarch, I totally understand what you''re going through, both about being ''appropriate'' for the occasion and also in terms of buyer''s remorse. Don''t worry though; everything you have bought is very tasteful. And you have a good idea with the wrap. Here is another suggestion: Maybe take a brooch with you and if you decide that you want to wear the wrap toss one end over your shoulder and pin it so it looks like you *meant* to have it on.

Thanks for the reassurance DeeJay! I will find a brooch just in case, good idea!

 

[monarch64]

Date: 12/1/2006 10:54:04 AM
Author: KimberlyH
I think you should let go of the matchy-matchyness for the weekend (and I know how hard it is, I have the same disease).

As for the the social aspect, I have never been to a social event in the south; I am a California girl born and raised, which means that anything goes, so you may take what I say with a grain of salt. That being said, I think that dress is absolutely classy and stylish and a bit Jackie O. and I so would not worry that it isn''t right for the occasion. I''d have my hair done in a conservative style (think chingon (sp?)) and wear conservative jewelry (pearl earrings, pearl necklace) and call it a day. Because the shoes and the dress are absolutely beautiful and I''m sure you will look wonderful and fit right in.

Has your husband seen the dress? What does he think about it?

Good ideas Kimberly! No, DH hasn''t seen the dress yet. Ahem, it will probably be one of those things where he says "new dress?" and I say "nooooo, this was in the back of the closet for AGES!" LOL. I think he will really like it, though. He will be expecting me to wear the diamond pendant he gave me a couple of years ago, so I will wear that and some simple CZ studs and be done with it.

Thanks for your advice!

 

[Christa]

Monarch, I''m super conservative on this kind of thing, but I don''t think that dress could possibly be considered inappropriate unless you are very, umm, "full" on top.

Since I''m not, I would even wear that.

 

[diamondfan]

Monarch, do you have to wear hose? I only ask because your shoes are open toed and to see panty hose through the peep toe may look a bit funny...maybe you could use one of those liquid hosiery products?

Also, just me, but my hubby was in a field with guys many years older than we were, sometimes a couple of decades at least. I was always mindful of being appropriate too. I am sure you will carry off whatever you wear in a classy way. It is about the whole package, sure, the outfit is part of it, but you present a whole picture with your demeanor etc. \ The dress is lovely, not too va voom but certainly elegant. It is a festive occasion so I am sure you will see lots of things. You will likely see women in St. John and other conservative evening attire, but I am sure you will see tasteful more sexy dresses too. I always felt I should be like Goldilocks...not the most prim and not the least. I think you blend in better if you more in the center of things, too extreme either way looks odd and somehow wrong to me.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 12/1/2006 6:57:14 PM
Author: Christa
Monarch, I''m super conservative on this kind of thing, but I don''t think that dress could possibly be considered inappropriate unless you are very, umm, ''full'' on top.

Since I''m not, I would even wear that.

Christa, I would LOVE to say I''m "full" on top, but I''m a C on a good bloated day at best, LOL! Basically the picture I posted of the model from Nordies looks pretty similar to me on top without a padded bra, ha ha! The lower half is a slightly different story...I am always wearing a-line skirts because I have a teensy bit wider hips than bustline! And when I say "teensy" I mean like 2.5 inches, even when I''m at my thinnest. Girl, it would take a lotta lipo to turn me into a supermodel, heehee!

Even if I wore the old standby LBD I would still have issues...I tried it on without sitting down in it to see how far it rode up, so now I am stuck with the seemingly perfect little black dress that is much too hem-challenged! It''s beautiful and I love it while standing, but I can''t see myself wearing it to this type of occasion and not stressing about it the whole time and missing out! I definitely chose this pink dress to highlight a slim collar bone, not-so-full-but-at-least-sorta-perky-still bust, and conceal the problem hip area! And it was on sale for god''s sake...less than $100--what more can I ask for?

 

[monarch64]

Date: 12/2/2006 1:35:35 AM
Author: diamondfan
Monarch, do you have to wear hose? I only ask because your shoes are open toed and to see panty hose through the peep toe may look a bit funny...maybe you could use one of those liquid hosiery products?

Also, just me, but my hubby was in a field with guys many years older than we were, sometimes a couple of decades at least. I was always mindful of being appropriate too. I am sure you will carry off whatever you wear in a classy way. It is about the whole package, sure, the outfit is part of it, but you present a whole picture with your demeanor etc. The dress is lovely, not too va voom but certainly elegant. It is a festive occasion so I am sure you will see lots of things. You will likely see women in St. John and other conservative evening attire, but I am sure you will see tasteful more sexy dresses too. I always felt I should be like Goldilocks...not the most prim and not the least. I think you blend in better if you more in the center of things, too extreme either way looks odd and somehow wrong to me.

Arrrghgh, DF...I am trying desperately to determine whether I need to or not. Normally with this dress where I live, and at this time of year, I would wear at least some sort of Spanx support garment for belly/hip/thigh control. (understand that I''m really not overweight, I just hate seeing other women jiggle in their lovely gowns/dresses and don''t want someone staring at my body like "what is going ON underneath there?")

So maybe I have sort of a complex about it! I am the type who will wear a sports bra over a padded push up bra to work out, just for appearance''s sake, though--yes, I am totally nuts. When going to weddings or other semi-formal or formal events where I''m in the company of 20-something friends I am much less conservative (halter dresses, no bra, no hose, etc. but of course only in the company of DH!)

For some reason I think that this age group (especially the wives) has intimidated me! I''ve met a few of the women who will attend this particular event on several occasions, and they are very sweet, but still there is that underlying factor or attitude that is sort of judgmental that I sense on their part, mainly from hearing them talk about other women when I''ve participated in "wife" activities during industry conventions before. It''s not that I''m a non-conformist; rather, I''m trying to put my best foot forward for DH''s sake, and I want to make sure his higher-ups and colleagues hear nothing but positive news out of this event. Some background again: he recently was elected to a "prestigious" board in his industry and I feel that we all know that appearances/personalities of significant others during events like this can make or break business situations. I just don''t want to commit some faux pas re. what is appropriate for ladies'' evening attire, I guess, to make a long story short.

So, I will see how the dress looks with and without hosiery...I just feel as though my legs need to be at least "covered" by a nude and very sheer pair for this. Also I want to make sure that because the bodice of the dress is rather low cut, that I''m compensating in the leg area and maintaining some sort of modesty, I guess! However, slippery hose and dancing shoes don''t really mix, so when we get past the dinner and onto the dancing I may just go into the ladies'' and remove the afore-mentioned hosiery if I end up wearing them, LOL!

Thanks for letting me ramble!

 

[diamondfan]

I totally relate to what you are saying on all fronts. Did you see Steel Magnolias? There is a line at the wedding when a woman who is a tad jiggly is dancing and someone says her rear looks like there a two puppies fighting under a blanket. Not pretty.

Spanx might be best, so you are not slipping in your shoes, not a good thing.

I am 40 now, and when I was in my 20''s I felt intimidated too. Mind you, maybe no one was thinking anything, but I always figured I had spinach in my teeth or had acted oddly if someone looked at me for a milisecond too long or what appeared, to me, looked at me in the "wrong" way. Now I am the boss''s wife and last year at my dh''s office party I felt OLD when these young girls in their 20''s were admiring me like a race horse put out to pasture. And not that it made a huge difference but one of my dh''s young associates brought his wife...she was in a VERY lowcut RED dress, no bra (and she was well endowed), and she drank too much and got a bit giggly and off color. Not a great way to go on the first meeting of the boss and his wife. Mind you, I am very hip and do not look 40, but at her age I would NEVER have put my hubby at risk in that setting. You have to know your audience and it never hurts to err on the side of being a bit conservative. Over time, if you get really comfortable and see how these people are once you get to know them, you can decide if you are comfortable changing it up a bit...but for now I am sure your hubby is happy and proud to have you at his side and to be an asset to him...Cannot wait to hear about it and see how gorgeous the finished product, i.e. you, look that night!

 

[monarch64]

Date: 12/2/2006 3:57:39 AM
Author: diamondfan
I totally relate to what you are saying on all fronts. Did you see Steel Magnolias? There is a line at the wedding when a woman who is a tad jiggly is dancing and someone says her rear looks like there a two puppies fighting under a blanket. Not pretty.

Spanx might be best, so you are not slipping in your shoes, not a good thing.

I am 40 now, and when I was in my 20''s I felt intimidated too. Mind you, maybe no one was thinking anything, but I always figured I had spinach in my teeth or had acted oddly if someone looked at me for a milisecond too long or what appeared, to me, looked at me in the ''wrong'' way. Now I am the boss''s wife and last year at my dh''s office party I felt OLD when these young girls in their 20''s were admiring me like a race horse put out to pasture. And not that it made a huge difference but one of my dh''s young associates brought his wife...she was in a VERY lowcut RED dress, no bra (and she was well endowed), and she drank too much and got a bit giggly and off color. Not a great way to go on the first meeting of the boss and his wife. Mind you, I am very hip and do not look 40, but at her age I would NEVER have put my hubby at risk in that setting. You have to know your audience and it never hurts to err on the side of being a bit conservative. Over time, if you get really comfortable and see how these people are once you get to know them, you can decide if you are comfortable changing it up a bit...but for now I am sure your hubby is happy and proud to have you at his side and to be an asset to him...Cannot wait to hear about it and see how gorgeous the finished product, i.e. you, look that night!

Thanks, DF. I was about to submit a big long post last night in response to yours but had had bit too much to drink and deleted it!

Your words make so much sense and I''m so thankful to have you and all the other ladies here to "guide" me! Even possessing a B.S. in Fashion Merchandising doesn''t mean that I am totally in tune with what is appropriate in a part of the country I''m unfamiliar with, ya know?

I went to my fave dept. store today and picked up two pair of hose in black and nude, just in case....also found the same shoes I ordered from Nordie''s (pictured above in chocolate) for 30% off

) in black and bought those as welll...just for a fallback and to have them b/c I think they are adorable and they actually fit my foot really well. So now I am anxiously awaiting all my online orders---the NM pink dress, the choc. glitter shoes, and the JC clutch....and I still have to run over to my girl friend''s house Monday evening to "borrow" back my LBD, just in case the NM on order/being shipped doesn''t work out!

Did manage to also pick up some fake eyelashes tonight...tried them on and they are H-O-T!!! So excited about that purchase, as I''ve never worn them before, always relied on tons of mascara and a heated eyelash curler...

I will definitely post pics of the final product and let you see what I ended up wearing...