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Calling all the Pregnant PS''ers

erica, glad you had a great NT scan. Cute picture.

It's common for women to not get an u/s after the big one around 20 weeks. The doctor may order an u/s if they suspect your baby is breeched or you're past your due date.

I'm hanging in there! I'm anxious about my appointment this afternoon and hoping to hear some good news. Thanks for asking Lisa.
 
Hi All! Nothing exciting to report around here other than the babies are kicking away. One also seems to be lodged up near my diaphram annoying the heck out of me. If I had to guess our budding soccer player is a boy (also had a lower HR) and the one annoying the heck out of me is a girl
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. Only time will tell I guess...

LIA I SO hope that you hear the news you want! If you DO get to go, and get into trouble in Chicago, you get someone to post your whereabouts on PS and I will be down in a few hours! Just let me know, I live a few hours outside of Chicago.

Snlee Good luck with your appt today! I also realized that we have each other''s emails from the SF GTG I went to last year, so if you ever want me to post updates for you here as the time nears, just let me know.

Erica and Lisa We ALL totally have those days where we feel like the baby(ies) are annoying us...I think it''s normal. Anyone who won''t cop to it is either an alien or on a LOT of meds IMO.
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Hi Guys! So, today I went for my check-up, and the Cubs are doing great. They were taking turns doing acrobatics. One would flip and frolic and then stop. then the other would spin around and then stop. Then back to the first one. It was pretty cute. Doc said everything looks great.

Big news is: he thooooought that maybe, perhaps, he just might have seen a membrane. When I go for the level 2 u/s next week and they do the NT test, it will be just exactly in the right window for them to find membranes (11-12 weeks is ideal) so then we just hope hope HOPE that there really was a membrane hiding in there and they''re not in the same sac after all. Lord, what a relief that would be! The doc said there was a "chance". So I''m being hopeful, but not getting my hopes up, know what I mean?
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LIA, hope you get to Chicago!!!

Erica, I know just what you mean about the thing taking over your body. Just exactly what you mean. I think it''s really unhealthy to try to force ourselves to feel and think what is socially acceptable for a mother to feel and think, and not just be ourselves. For instance, apparently only 25% of women feel an INSTANT bond of love with their newborn, but I''m guessing we are all expecting ourselves to, and will feel like bad mothers if we don''t, even though it''s a minority who do. We just have to feel what we feel, and SPEAK what we feel when we want to so that others know it''s normal.

Good luck Snlee!

And I hope the rest of you are doing OK.

By the way, mom started her chemo, and it''s going way better than she thought! So far, the side effects are really tolerable so she is feeling relieved. Four more sessions to go! Then we just wait and hope.
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Just wanted to pop in and say how pretty Meena is, and gosh, that''s a pretty name, too!

Hope all the mommies to be are doing well!

:)
 
Jen
Love your new avi.
Too cute and funny how you exaggerate your belly by taking it off centered
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How are you feeling so far?
Hope there are no more PTL.
 
Snlee, I hope your appointment went well!


NF, you''re right, it''s normal to feel a wide range of emotions during pregnancy and beyond. I''ve always been a little more standoffish and pessimistic than most of my friends (apparently some people consider it comic-relief because they''re always laughing at the things I say), but it''s really hard to know a super-pregnant woman who can''t stop talking about how wonderful it is. Even when she feels a little tired, it''s ok because it''s ALL for the baby! Sigh. Maybe she would feel differently if she were kneeling over a toilet or unable to go out into the light because of a raging headache. Times like these, sympathy and support seem more appropriate than Pollyannaisms...

Indy, I''m so glad that the Cubs are doing so well. It must have been fun to see them moving around like that. And they''re taking turns already! Let''s hope they remain cooperative later on...

I''ve been reading about pre and post natal depression and general feelings of ambivalence, and it''s definitely made me feel better about things. It''s hard to know how much of my ambivalence is stemming from my crappy school policy and how much is just me tiptoeing into uncharted territory. The u/s definitely made my day, though.

Keeping my fingers crossed that the prognosis is good. You can add my hope to the kitty.
 
Indy
Glad your mom''s chemo is going better than anticipated.
Hope the other four are just the same.
And yay for a great check-up
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Fingers crossed that there''s a membrane hiding in there.

snlee
Good luck with the appt.
Hope to hear some good news soon.

ericak
Fabulous about the great numbers from your NT scan.
Cute u/s pix
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Getting stretchmark is probably a combination of genes and weight gain.
My mom has pretty bad stretch marks (but of course she did bear 6 kids).
My younger sis did get one tiny stretch mark on her belly and she gained 40 lbs.
My older sis didn''t get any and she was scratching her belly like there''s no tomorrow. She gained 25 lbs after having dropped like 7 lbs in the first trimester.
Get this, she was under 100 lb when she delivered :P

Lisa
Can''t wait for your first appt!!
I wouldn''t be surprised if you are carrying multiples.
Does Olivia want a baby brother or sister (or both?)
 
Date: 8/7/2008 4:34:38 PM
Author: Independent Gal
Hi Guys! So, today I went for my check-up, and the Cubs are doing great. They were taking turns doing acrobatics. One would flip and frolic and then stop. then the other would spin around and then stop. Then back to the first one. It was pretty cute. Doc said everything looks great.

Big news is: he thooooought that maybe, perhaps, he just might have seen a membrane. When I go for the level 2 u/s next week and they do the NT test, it will be just exactly in the right window for them to find membranes (11-12 weeks is ideal) so then we just hope hope HOPE that there really was a membrane hiding in there and they''re not in the same sac after all. Lord, what a relief that would be! The doc said there was a ''chance''. So I''m being hopeful, but not getting my hopes up, know what I mean?
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LIA, hope you get to Chicago!!!

Erica, I know just what you mean about the thing taking over your body. Just exactly what you mean. I think it''s really unhealthy to try to force ourselves to feel and think what is socially acceptable for a mother to feel and think, and not just be ourselves. For instance, apparently only 25% of women feel an INSTANT bond of love with their newborn, but I''m guessing we are all expecting ourselves to, and will feel like bad mothers if we don''t, even though it''s a minority who do. We just have to feel what we feel, and SPEAK what we feel when we want to so that others know it''s normal.

Good luck Snlee!

And I hope the rest of you are doing OK.

By the way, mom started her chemo, and it''s going way better than she thought! So far, the side effects are really tolerable so she is feeling relieved. Four more sessions to go! Then we just wait and hope.
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OK gals, you are who ya are and ya feel what ya feel. Doesn''t make anyone a bad anything! I got my kid cut out of me and when I saw her, I just said, "Oh, she''s cute" in a really nonchalant way...kind of like looking and scrutinizing art. I was disconnected from her for sure. I did fall in love with her at the hospital and then fell in LIKE with her (far more important for my emotional happiness) 6 WEEKS later. I called her a parasite while she was in me and for weeks after she was born.

But I do kinda believe in positive energy and tried to channel as much of it through me as possible. Plus being pregnant isn''t exactly physically gorgeous. I didn''t want to be a fatty AND a sour person too.
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I'm back from my appointment with good news! No change with my cervix. The doctor redid the fFN test since the first test was done less than 24 hours after the transvaginal ultrasound and that can give a false positive. The doctor called me shortly after with the best news – the fFN test came back NEGATIVE!!! I am so happy! I am so relieved!

Still on bed rest but I can decrease the meds to every 6 instead of 4 now unless I feel more than 4 contractions an hour. Hopefully my headache will get better. I'm on weekly appointments now.

NF, thanks for the offer. The hospital has internet so I should be able to give you guys updates.

Indy, yay for a great appointment. That is cute how the twins took turns doing acrobatics. I'm glad to hear your mom's treatment is going better than expected. I will continute to send good thoughts her way.

Jas, how'd your appointment go? I hope they didn't check you in.

Hope everyone else is doing well!
 
RE bonding: I didn''t have a "love at first sight" moment either. I was SO shocked b/c i thought i was having a girl and although i was not unhappy with having a boy it just really took me by surprise. For me the bonding was slow and steady. I cared for him, then liked him, then loved him, now adore him. It took weeks and is still transforming. Relationships of any kind need time to grow and take shape. i think it is only natural and to be expected that the parent/child relationship would be the same. I know that many women do have the instant overwhelming bond (and some moms have it for one kid and not for another which is interesting) it''s good to talk about all possibilities so women don''t feel guilty about their individual experience.
 
Date: 8/7/2008 10:16:25 PM
Author: Jas12
RE bonding: I didn''t have a ''love at first sight'' moment either. I was SO shocked b/c i thought i was having a girl and although i was not unhappy with having a boy it just really took me by surprise. For me the bonding was slow and steady. I cared for him, then liked him, then loved him, now adore him. It took weeks and is still transforming. Relationships of any kind need time to grow and take shape. i think it is only natural and to be expected that the parent/child relationship would be the same. I know that many women do have the instant overwhelming bond (and some moms have it for one kid and not for another which is interesting) it''s good to talk about all possibilities so women don''t feel guilty about their individual experience.
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Ha, I didn''t adore mine right away, but I adored all of yours! Hee hee.
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snlee, great news!!!
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I totally forgot to ask about u INDY!! & DD!!!

How could I have done that?

Indy - here''s to that membraneous membrane. Your Mom sounds like a trooper. What a tough time, bittersweet. Thanks for all her updates I am rooting
for her! Thank god it''s only 4 more sessions.

Bonding, so funny we should be on this topic b/c I used to get paged all the time from RN staff on OB floor worried/complaining that new moms
weren''t "bonding."

I mean really. This is such an abstract concept! So off I''d go to conduct my psychosocial assessment and field for any abuse, mental health issues, yada yada.

Most of the time it was the paranoid RN''s opinion that new mom "A" wasn''t holding/feeding/changing/arguing w/ dad enough or too much!

Sometimes it was totally normal as the pt. was a 16 yr old girl. And sometimes there were legitimate concerns.

Like TGAL, I too had my kid cut out of me and was so out of it that the 1st thought was "wow, is she white." I know strange reaction but she was so pale-skinned. It was an outer
body experience. I was in pain and worried about the breastfeeding and was so drugged-up!

Erica - I wanted to add that I also think culture plays some into this. I obviously can''t speak for u but having a Korean mom was a challenge for me.
Korean''s are not the most outwardly affectionate/warm people and this impacted my early years a lot. I totally have an attachment disorder (mild). Plus I''ve been on meds
for depression for 14 yrs. so I hear ya on the PPD (post-partum depression) concerns. I took Wellbutrin during pg. and switched my whole regimine 2 mos. post-delivery.

I am at higher risk for PPD but have good resources and have been through pg. once but was so scared the 1st time around.

The "baby blues" is so common! It can last a while. Be prepared for resistance from the Obstetrical community in RX''ing meds post-partum. I would get into full-on
arguments w/ some of the docs about their depressed pts, it was unbelievable! And depression can impact "bonding" so absurd.

SNLEE - So relieved to hear your great news. I was worried about that FFN test. Some of the RN''s said that a + can suggest delivery in 2 weeks is that true?
 
Date: 8/8/2008 12:29:12 AM
Author: lisa1.01fvs1
I totally forgot to ask about u INDY!! & DD!!!

How could I have done that?

Indy - here''s to that membraneous membrane. Your Mom sounds like a trooper. What a tough time, bittersweet. Thanks for all her updates I am rooting
for her! Thank god it''s only 4 more sessions.

Bonding, so funny we should be on this topic b/c I used to get paged all the time from RN staff on OB floor worried/complaining that new moms
weren''t ''bonding.''

I mean really. This is such an abstract concept! So off I''d go to conduct my psychosocial assessment and field for any abuse, mental health issues, yada yada.

Most of the time it was the paranoid RN''s opinion that new mom ''A'' wasn''t holding/feeding/changing/arguing w/ dad enough or too much!

Sometimes it was totally normal as the pt. was a 16 yr old girl. And sometimes there were legitimate concerns.

Like TGAL, I too had my kid cut out of me and was so out of it that the 1st thought was ''wow, is she white.'' I know strange reaction but she was so pale-skinned. It was an outer
body experience. I was in pain and worried about the breastfeeding and was so drugged-up!

Erica - I wanted to add that I also think culture plays some into this. I obviously can''t speak for u but having a Korean mom was a challenge for me.
Korean''s are not the most outwardly affectionate/warm people and this impacted my early years a lot. I totally have an attachment disorder (mild). Plus I''ve been on meds
for depression for 14 yrs. so I hear ya on the PPD (post-partum depression) concerns. I took Wellbutrin during pg. and switched my whole regimine 2 mos. post-delivery.

I am at higher risk for PPD but have good resources and have been through pg. once but was so scared the 1st time around.

The ''baby blues'' is so common! It can last a while. Be prepared for resistance from the Obstetrical community in RX''ing meds post-partum. I would get into full-on
arguments w/ some of the docs about their depressed pts, it was unbelievable! And depression can impact ''bonding'' so absurd.

SNLEE - So relieved to hear your great news. I was worried about that FFN test. Some of the RN''s said that a + can suggest delivery in 2 weeks is that true?
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Bahahaha! That was my SECOND thought! My kid is so white, even my husband questioned if it was his (he''s olive skinned).

Sorry to hear about your depression and your experience with your Korean mom. Of course, it''s a generalization, but I think it''s mostly true (judging from my cousins'' and friends'' moms.) I was always grateful that my mom is so loving and affectionate because it does often carry on to your children. I know I''m crazy affectionate with Amelia and I can thank my mom for that.
 
Date: 8/8/2008 12:29:12 AM
Author: lisa1.01fvs1

SNLEE - So relieved to hear your great news. I was worried about that FFN test. Some of the RN's said that a + can suggest delivery in 2 weeks is that true?
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The positive fFN test worried me too. I am so relieved to find out it was a false positive!

A negative test result means that there is a less than 1% chance of having a premature delivery within the next 7 to 14 days.

A positive fFN test is less specific. It is associated with an increased risk for preterm delivery, but it will not tell whether or not you will deliver early. A positive test suggests the need to be monitored more closely.
 
Wait..........Tgal your''e Korean somehwere, somehow?

And, so I''m not a total weirdo for thinking that about Olivia? Thank you for coming out of the bushes on that one!

I mean I have dark DOMINANT gene features. Why is this kid so darn Irish/Scottish???????

Sometimes, I feel like her nanny.
 
Date: 8/8/2008 12:46:44 AM
Author: lisa1.01fvs1
Wait..........Tgal your''e Korean somehwere, somehow?

And, so I''m not a total weirdo for thinking that about Olivia? Thank you for coming out of the bushes on that one!

I mean I have dark DOMINANT gene features. Why is this kid so darn Irish/Scottish???????

Sometimes, I feel like her nanny.
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Did I just write that? No, that was you, but I could have...

lisa, I am full Korean. My husband is white (Australian). My kid is half so I expected that she come out looking more Korean than she did. Her physical therapist (she went to PT for torticollis) told me she looked Scottish. She doesn''t look scottish in a lot of the photos that I posted, but in her earlier days she definitely did NOT look Korean. She had blue eyes (which I thought would have been impossible) and reddish/auburn hair. Not too different from your beautiful Olivia.
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Her eyes are turning brown now and I am so happy. I am probably one of the few people out there who didn''t want a blue eyed baby. I feel she looks more Korean now...yay! I felt like her nanny too...her skin positively glows against mine.
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Snlee, I'm so glad to hear that the results were good! I hope you start feeling better now that you're on fewer meds.

Jas, It's always good to hear about different pre- and post-natal emotions! It seems like the worst thing is having all these expectations for perfect bonding. My main concern is breastfeeding since this is something that I'd really like to do for at least six months, if not a year. I can only give it my best try, I guess.

Tgal and Lisa, my mom is very affectionate, although my parents don't show their affection for one another. I think this has affected my relationship with my husband more than anything else because we mostly tease each other or play it 'cool,' especially in front of friends. I'm super cuddly with my two kitties, but right now I'm having a hard time connecting with the baby, even in an abstract future-oriented way. I think it'll change once I start showing and can feel its movements.

Re: not resembling your child, sometimes I wonder how my mom felt about her two children. My brother has dark skin (perpetual tan), whereas I came out white as a sheet. Both my parents have medium complexions with yellow/olive undertones, but for some reason I'm much whiter--although I tan easily. I also have wavy brown-black hair like my mom, unlike my cousins who have straight jet-black hair, so I guess I already pack a funny set of genes to go with my husband's English-French set.
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It'll be fun to see how the baby's appearance keeps changing. As long as s/he has my cheekbones, I'll be happy!
 
hi guys!
SNLEE: i''m so happy for you! what a relief with the ffn!! hopefully you can relax a little bit now...

ERIKA: congrats on the u/s! glad you got at least one good shot

INDY: keep us posted on your mom...hopefully she''ll continue to tolerate the chemo well. and i''ve got my fingers crossed on the membrane!!

LISA: oooh, i can''t wait to hear if you''re having multiples! odds seem to be that you are (on this board!!!!).

NEATFREAK: you are so sweet...we can hang out in the hospital!! :) as much as i''d love to meet you in irl, hopefully it wouldn''t be under those circumstances!!! can''t wait until you post a belly pic (IF you do) so we can see that twin belly growing. :)

JEN: hope the babes are cooperating and you''re feeling well. is it a relief to have your boys back in school? must be much more quiet around your house!!

SBDE: hope that morning sickness stays away...should be getting close to the end now! right??? :)

JANINE: yay for BORING pregnancies. that''s what i thought i had. what the hell happened???!!!! you''re getting so close. how are you feeling???

BLEN: hopefully the morning sickness bug won''t get you. seems to be kind of hit or miss. i didn''t get it until i was about 8 weeks in...

LILI, TGAL, QT (LOVE the new avatar btw): thanks for checking in on us!!

btw...where is JACKIE???? i was looking forward to the post on the latest inlaw drama! i wonder if she''s back in the hospital. jackie, you are in chicago right? what hospital are you delivering at? no particular reason i ask... :)

anyway, quick update on me...i''ve had a couple quiet days which has been nice. it''s very difficult to focus on studying. i keep find myself touching my belly to see if it''s contracting. everytime it seems like they''re slowing, i''ll do something which brings the bh''s back on in full force. i know i''m supposed to drink drink drink (which i''ve been very good at the past couple days), but does anyone else find that a full bladder brings on BIG contractions??? we also had a quick meeting at our new house with one of the contractors yesterday which i went to (i''m on home rest, and that''s still home right??!)...noticed that when i was standing outside with him, i had about 4 contrax in 15 minutes. not good. my appt today is at 10:30... i''m having trouble feeling optimistic, but we''ll see... i''m still not even sure what i WANT my ob to say. on one hand, of course i want to be able to take the test. but i''m not sure if i''m in the best frame of mind at this point. it''s an incredible difficult exam, and i''d hate to fly out there, be stressed about the baby, and then fail the exam and have to take it again next summer anyway! on the other hand, i have spent 6 straight weeks studying and who knows how much i''ll be able to do next summer when i''m actually working and watching over a little one!!

oh well...i''ll keep you guys posted later. off to try to study...
 
btw...where is JACKIE???? i was looking forward to the post on the latest inlaw drama! i wonder if she''s back in the hospital. jackie, you are in chicago right? what hospital are you delivering at? no particular reason i ask... :)
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* runs into thread, panting*

I''m here! I''m here! Just dealing with a lot of out-law stuff, which of course I will share...

Thank you all for asking about me. Dr. appt. was fine...still dilated 2cm, cervix about 1 cm long...(they do measure that in cm, right? She may have said it''s an inch long...I was laughing too hard at DH trying to take his own BP at that point).

Weight gain has stopped (typical at this point), BP is good, babies'' heartbeats are good and NORMAL. I start to have lots of crazy contractions if I''m not lying down, so back to bedrest. My awesome doctor is going out of town for 2 weeks during my 36-37 week, so DH and she were making all sorts of plans so I can deliver with her there (although I adore her partners as well)...it was pretty funny. She said I''m pretty much in the clear by week 35, so I will be getting up and out of bed doing jumping jacks and baking on August 18th (cuz I am NOT waiting until I am 38 weeks)...she said my babies are really big and will be just great by then, all things being equal.

So DH just goes on and on about having lots of sex and spicy food...I was red-faced. The doctor was laughing hard and said, "Yeah, or ya know, go for lots of walks."

Good times people. For those of you in the Chicago area, please get off the Edens on the 18th or so.

I still think I''ll go earlier because my contrax are getting stronger and more frequent, although still not painful, and I''ve now developed "posterior pelvic pain" which is a nice way of saying I get shooting pains in the a$$. Similar to sciatica and just as much fun.

LIA --- I''ll be delivering at ENH, which is an awesome place minus the commute...I''m in Greek town, so it''s a toss up between a 25 minute commute and a 90 minute commute depending on the traffic gods. Good luck at the dr...I hope you get good news about taking the test...right now it seems to be a question of what exactly would be good news there, ya know?
Snlee -- how''s the brain fog today? I had to do the 4-hour meds too, which was not fun in the hospital, cuz darn it if I didn''t have the most wonderful, chatty, positive nurses...and I am not so good with, ya know, speaking, at 2 am. Great news from your doctor on your tests! WHOO!
Erica -- excellent U/S! As I understand it, most women do not get another u/s after 20 weeks or so, unless it''s a high-risk pregnancy...you may get one during L&D, though
Lisa -- how are you feeling today? I HATE the term "advanced maternal age" although my dr. said they used to call us "geriatric pregnancies".
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NF -- How far along are you again? Are you going to find out the sexes? I''ve had one in my diaphram/ribs since day one, lying transverse. Just wait until yours starts doing yoga poses. Mine likes Downward Dog and so his little tushie sticks up while he buries his head under my ribs. I would be annoyed if it weren''t so darned funny. Ok, I''m annoyed by it.
Indy -- Yea membrane! (Not a sentence I''d ever thought I would write.) Is your mom still feeling ok today? That would be great news.
Tgal -- heya! LOL at "Fatty and sour" that''s so me right now.
Jas12 -- Good to see ya!

Off to oogle the baby pictures in the mommy thread! Keeps me focused!
 
Hi all, I have a quick question before I try to catch up with all the posts from the past week. I have to go in for my one-hour glucose test in 3 hours. I know I should have asked this earlier, but what should I be eating this morning? I tried to avoid sugar yesterday (except I forgot and had some fruit with breakfast). I''ll I''ve had so far this morning is cilantro & chive yogurt dip and pita chips. I am still hungry! Should I just load up on carbs, like bread, or is it ok to eat something that has a mix of carbs, protein and fat? I have some left over Greek pastitsio in the fridge, but the pasta is probably white pasta so that may not be the best idea. Help please -- I have a real issue with needles and do not want to have to go back for the 3-hour test.
 
Here''s the out-law poop. I''m putting it here because it''s so baby-centered that I don''t think the general PS population would be interested (although feel free to correct me if I''m wrong.)

Part One:
SIL came over a few weeks ago to use our bathroom on the way to another event in the city (which I''m fine with...the house was clean)...she kinda randomly asked, "Hey, do you guys keep spare keys around?" DH said we did, and she insisted we give her a set right then and there so that when I go into labor she can come and get my dog to care for. I was a bit taken aback by this (as was DH) but we couldn''t think of a way to say no at that point.

My parents have always taken my dog when need be. He loves going to their home, loves their dogs (it''s his "pack") and I know he gets the same over-the-top treatment there that I give him here. (He''s not spoiled, he''s was very traumatized by his last home before we rescued him, so he needs some special TLC).

SIL keeps "reminding" us that SHE gets my dog...now, SIL is a great person. I do love her. I do not love how she cares for her dog. SIL''s dog stays outside all day and has lots of water. My dog cannot be out in this heat, even in the shade with water. He gets very sick. SIL''s kids roughhouse with my dog...my dog will snarl (he DOES NOT BITE) at them when they pull his tail (and they pull it hard!) but SIL yells at my dog rather than tell her kids not to pull his tail. She has told me not to worry, that if my dog "acts up" that she''ll put him in a cage. Now, I am all for crating dogs...I understand the rationale behind it and support it 99% of the time. My dog has crate issues. He was traumatized.

I spoke about these concerns (gently) to DH, and he kinda said, "Well, talk to SIL and tell her your concerns." Which doesn''t help me too much. He does not share all of my worries (although he shares some) and I didn''t get why he didn''t talk with his sister. I haven''t said anything to her yet.

Which leads to Part II:

For a while now, my MIL has been emailing/talking w/ my mom and dropping lines like, "You do so much/too much for Jackie...don''t you feel put upon?"

This comes from the two times I have stayed at my parents'' house (with my dog) while on bedrest while DH has been traveling. Now, seriously, I know I am not a ton of fun, but honestly I am not a burden. I bring my own food, help around as much as I possibly can whilst lying on my back, and I would like to think my own parents don''t hate having me around. (Although don''t quote me on that!)

So after my dr. appt yesterday, DH started to mew about his poker night next week (which honestly, he''s earned after taking such good care of me)...saying that I should stay at his mom''s or his sister''s with the dog until he''s done and then he''ll come get me. I told him that I''m more comfortable at my folks, especially if all I can do is sit around like Jabba the Hutt, and besides my folks are closer to the poker game than his.

He then started hemming and hawing that we''ve been leaning on my parents too much and that I''ve not asked his family to help with anything for 8 1/2 months...

I''m pretty sure that line came from his mom...DH doesn''t think in those terms. Apparently I''m not making myself available enough??? (Although NOTHING is stopping ANYONE from coming over to my house, and I''ve made plenty of invites to the house, dr. appointments, and lunch appointments).

We have not really "left" his family out on anything other than sitting my fat a$$ on their couch for a few days while DH travels. They have been invited to appointments, have been kept appraised of all goings-on...they did get peeved that I was released from hospital before they were able to visit (yes I was there for 3 days, but I''m not going there) but it''s not like I got released just to keep from seeing them.

I sense they want me to lean on them more, but honestly, hanging out with my feet up and peeing every 20 minutes is not something I am yet comfortable doing with my inlaws...of course the only way to get comfortable doing that is to actually spend time there, so it''s a fun circle.

The bratty part of me wants to scream, "Uh, ''scuse me...can we please stop trying to make the fat preggo feel guilty?" But I do feel guilty, sort of, because DH is in the middle of all this and he just doesn''t get why I''m not comfy hanging out with his family in my bloated, achy position (and God Forbid my water breaks on the white rug...I''d feel terrible)...

My mom, who also doesn''t deal well with guilt, wants to acquiese to all their wants..."Why don''t you go there...let them take the dog..." etc., and I keep saying that at this point, I''m feeling kinda manipulated.

It''s a silly little thing and one I need to talk with DH about once I work through stuff, but in the end, I guess it''s nice to be so wanted.

Someone hand me a tiara.

Back to talk of cervixes and have I mentioned that I''m really crampy today???

Whee!
 
snlee, HURRAY! That is wonderful news

Jas, that would drive me nutty with the IL''s. Imagine demanding someone''s keys?! So rude. I have a recommendation: send your IL''s to live overseas. It does wonders for the ease of my relationship with mine.
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Hey NF, can I ask what the pattern of your weight gain was so far? I''m still trying to figure out what''s what. I''m up 5 lbs at just around 11.5wks. That sounds OK, right? Did you and Jas start packing it on more in the second tri? And how much have you gained now at 18 wk, if you don''t mind me asking? Can''t wait to find out the genders for yours, NF! And great names!


Lisa, how are you feeling? Are you over the moon, despite the "pleuh"
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?

LIA let us know what happens at the appt. I''m rooting for you!

Thanks for everyones'' good wishes about my mom! I really hope the chemo gets it all and it doesn''t recur. Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease.
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Just a quick drive-by to say "HELLO" to Meena. QT, she''s such a doll! CONGRATS!
 
Indy -- I think I gained 11 pounds in the first trimester, then by the end of the 2nd trimester, I was at 26 pounds (One pound/week)...I''ve stopped gaining and have held steady at 35 pounds for the last few weeks. I was given the recommendation of 35-45 pound weight gain.

And I''m all for a looooooong distance IL relationship. I''m even willing to be the one to move overseas!
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erica, it''s normal to have a hard time connecting with the baby. I don''t think I started to until I felt the baby''s movements.
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The baby''s movements really makes it seem real!

LIA, I thought I had a boring pregnancy too. Up until week 26, where I had the GD tests, and now PTL scare. And yes, full bladder causes contractions! I''ve been peeing NONSTOP trying to not irritate my uterus. Hope you receive some good news during your appointment and are able to take the exam. Think POSITIVE! You''ll pass it!

jas, yup, they measure your cervix length in centimeter. I''m glad things are good with the twins. Sorry you are feeling more pain. Sending lots of Week 35 vibes to you! August 18th isn''t far from now! Hang in there!

Kay, I wouldn''t eat anything else before you take your glucose test. Maybe a slice or two of toast if you are really hungry. Good luck! Cilantro & chive yogurt dip and pita chips...YUM!!! Now you have me craving that!
 
Sounds like I need to eat more then. MORE MORE MORE! Or more fattening. My sister has been here visiting and it has just reinforced how weird it is to go from a lifelong commitment to keeping slim, eating lowfat, and being careful about EVERYTHING I put in my mouth. Sis was, of course, still on that path and it was just so odd to be reminding myself NOT to get the low-cal version of jamba juice or whatnot.

Just talked to my mom. She paid several thousand dollars to have a very good wig made, and she hates how it turned out. Her hair has already fallen out and she is feeling devastated. I don''t think it''s just the wig. I think it just triggered all the other feelings she was being so brave about suppressing. Kind of breaks my heart.
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Jackie,

Concerning your beloved doggie, I would make sure your parents care for him as they usually do. Not only is your SIL not caring for him in the way you would wish by the sound of it, if she lets her kids annoy him and one day they hurt him and perhaps he did snap, then that is not a situation you want your sweet doggie in, or for yourself. Personally I wouldn't risk it, let your parents take him. It is not up to your SIL to tell you that she will be caring for your dog, tell her it is already arranged, he is going to your parents - "thank you all the same though for your kind offer".
 
Date: 8/8/2008 2:20:09 PM
Author: Lorelei
Jackie,

Concerning your beloved doggie, I would make sure your parents care for him as they usually do. Not only is your SIL not caring for him in the way you would wish by the sound of it, if she lets her kids annoy him and one day they hurt him and perhaps he did snap, then that is not a situation you want your sweet doggie in, or for yourself. Personally I wouldn''t risk it, let your parents take him. It is not up to your SIL to tell you that she is taking your dog!!!
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I totally agree! Thanks for the support Lorelei -- I guess I need to figure out a way to say this without DH getting more guilt from his family...

Because you''re right...if he was pushed to the point of biting (which I don''t even want to think about, but these kids are 8 and 10 and very wild...my dog is as mellow as it gets...I''ve only seen him snap that one time) the "solution" would be to put my doggie down. These are the things I was having teary nights about in the hospital!
 
Date: 8/8/2008 2:23:23 PM
Author: jas

Date: 8/8/2008 2:20:09 PM
Author: Lorelei
Jackie,

Concerning your beloved doggie, I would make sure your parents care for him as they usually do. Not only is your SIL not caring for him in the way you would wish by the sound of it, if she lets her kids annoy him and one day they hurt him and perhaps he did snap, then that is not a situation you want your sweet doggie in, or for yourself. Personally I wouldn''t risk it, let your parents take him. It is not up to your SIL to tell you that she is taking your dog!!!
Click to expand...
I totally agree! Thanks for the support Lorelei -- I guess I need to figure out a way to say this without DH getting more guilt from his family...

Because you''re right...if he was pushed to the point of biting (which I don''t even want to think about, but these kids are 8 and 10 and very wild...my dog is as mellow as it gets...I''ve only seen him snap that one time) the ''solution'' would be to put my doggie down. These are the things I was having teary nights about in the hospital!
Click to expand...
Oh Jackie....I know, and I was so concerned as I know how much he means to you, if that happened and he did snap because of badly behaved children hurting him, and you are going to have 2 babies in the house, the alternative would be unthinkable. I honestly would not risk it, why should you be put in this position by your SIL anyway - if she gets offended so be it, but better that than to risk that happening!
 
jas,

Good advice from Lorelei. I totally agree too! It''s not worth taking the risk. It''s ultimately up to you and DH to decide who will take care of him, not your SIL.

Regarding staying with your in-laws while your DH goes to a poker game, I totally agree with you. I''d feel the same way too. No way I would want to stay with the in-laws! I wouldn''t feel comfortable. Although it''s nice they want to help out, it would drive me nutty. I''m sorry you have to deal with this. I hope your DH comes around and understands your point of view.
 
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