Calling all the Pregnant PS''ers

[ellaila]

Diver, glad your aunt pulled through and seems to be on the mend -- great news! Sorry to hear the heartburn is still giving you troubles. I take it the papaya didn''t work this time?

Curly, I hope I take to motherhood the way you did! Some people are just meant to be parents, and you sound like one of them! Is the bumbo that little round seat that''s got that pole the babies wrap their legs around when they sit (bad description, but all I can come up with)? If so, then I love those and definitely want those too! I think I''ve seen the ads for Bebepod or something similar? Is one brand better than another?

Sara, I think Audrey Grace is really pretty! I live in MA and there''s a town in Western MA called Hadley, so I personally have a hard time thinking of that as a girl''s name. I do have a friend who just had a baby girl and named her Hayden Grace though -- similar. I''ve mentioned before that I think Grace sounds good with just about any first name though. I think it''s just so pretty and feminine. I also like Ava Grace, but I''ve got a niece named Amanda Grace, so I feel like I can''t use anything too similar like that. Tacori also was considering Emerson (one m though I think?) for a girl recently. Keep us posted with your decision or with other choices you come up with!

As for food, there was a funny/interesting thread in the twins forum about "confessions" and things people do that they''re not supposed to, and I was just so shocked at some of the things that people didn''t know about. I mean, Google "pregnancy" and the very first things you''ll find tell you to not eat soft cheeses (unpasteurized) and deli meats unless heated up. Whether you choose to or not is your call, but I was just shocked at how many people were like, "Really?! I didn''t know that!" -- ummmmm. I don''t have much faith in your doctors then if they don''t even tell you the basics that you can find in any Google search. Jeez.

As for my own confessions, I do eat tuna from time to time, though I''m using the chunk light (blech!) at home, which is the better one for you in terms of mercury. But once in a great while, I will get a tuna sandwich out somewhere. And if someone is grilling up all-beef hot dogs, I simply cannot refuse them!! So I''ve had a few of those

Have avoided caffeine in drinks, though I do eat chocolate. I haven''t had any soft cheeses. I have had turkey and ham from the deli, but always heated up -- by the way, heated-up turkey breast is absolutely disgusting!! That was a one-off for me. But I will have a hot ham and cheese sandwich now and then. I''m definitely not eating enough vegetables though

I''ve never been a huge veggies eater, and we don''t currently have a kitchen so we''re not eating super-healthy right now since all of our meals are takeout. I''m drinking yogurt smoothies and ensure protein shakes though, so hopefully I''m getting decent amounts of calcium and protein at least.

 

[mrssalvo]

curly, i think it''s funny that you drank wine towards the end of your pregnancy. my hubby was always trying to get me to have a glass and I just couldn''t do it. I did however eat occasional turkey sandwiches and didn''t have any problems in either of my pregnancies. I was a huge coke drinker too and would usually have one a day. it was the only thing that would settle my sometimes upset tummy.

diver, I hope your heartburn feels better, although from experience I know it probably isn''t going to get better until your little D is here and then it miraculously dissappears

 

[divergrrl]

Ellaila: I hear ya on the food stuff..although I''ve had hotdogs, and if you read that link I posted about deli meats, it says its ok if they are heated thoroughly, so your grilled dogs are ok. My friend I went to the beach with got mad cuz I took the amazing salamis/deli meats off the italian subs she made us & nuked mine until it was STEAMIN''. I also don''t drink unpastuerized juices either...same issues as cheese. And as far as your veggies go...no worries...that''s why you take the prenatals. Veggies (which I normally eat 5 to 6 servings of a day, I''m a good girl...lol) made me pukey when I was pg with Jake. I ate cheetos, gummy bears, ice cream, french fries (hey! that''s a veggie), and hamburgers/steak almost exclusively with him & he turned out fine. Now this pg, I can''t stand fatty foods, red meat, and all I want is lean chicken, salads, veggies, and fresh fruits. I still love my ice cream....Go figure. Pregnancy is crazy man!

But as far as what''s ok...according to the experts on Babycenter, WebMd, etc... caffiene is ok in small amounts (three 8oz cups of coffee is the max...so soda & chocolate are fine seeing as they only have a 10th of the caffiene as coffee), I drink 2 cups of coffee a day ... or one cup and one latte if I''m in a Starbucks mood. The jury is still arguing on tuna, but TECHNICALLY its ok as long as you eat less than 12 oz a week. That goes for all seafood.

My OB is fine with the occasional glass of wine, even though every known website/preg book says absolutely not. The controversy on that one is because they don''t know how much alcohol it takes to cause FAS, so its better to just be cautious & avoid. Unlike listeria, which they know crosses the placenta & does harm, alcohol is one of those things OB/teratologist argue over because it has yet to be defined. My OB says one glass a week is just fine. (after the 1st trimester) I don''t drink a glass week, but we are normally big wine drinkers, so I''ll have a small glass on a special occasion...but not as often as I''m "allowed". I guess until they figure it out, it''ll remain controversial like so many things. I''ve read docs in Europe allow 1 glass a day & not every baby in Europe has FAS so who knows. But I bet French women eat Brie too..so go figure. I am so looking forward to eating/drinking what I want again when I have this baby.

There is some sushi, marinated goat cheese, and an exquisite pinot noir with my name on it waiting for me. LOL.

Life with a new baby: It can be really fun, but it also has an overwhelming/emotional aspect to it. I just want to toss this out there.....don''t feel bad if you have moments where you are so upset/angry/feeling like a failure because you don''t resemble one of the ads showing a new radiant mother & her happy newborn in pregnancy magazines. That''s not real life. And yes, it does pass...and yes, even if you have a colicky screaming no sleepin'' little terror in diapers you will love them more than life itself. You may find yourself wanting to sell your otherwise great husband on craigslist. I found at about 2 months into having Jake, Steve & I were at each other''s throats & we have a really great relationship. You do work through it, and with sleep, this stuff all passes. So no worries.

My OB put me on Lexapro after my last miscarriage because I was having a hard time dealing with yet another m/c (I went off when I got pg this time--was only on it 2 months) and I''m asking for it RIGHT OFF THE BAT when I give birth to Delaney (I''m not nursing this time---too hard last time....sucked..no pun intended...so I don''t have to worry about it crossing into breast milk---but I think Zoloft or Effexor is safe for nursing moms) because on my other board (December 2004 babies..we have a private board with 25 moms...17 have 2nd babies this year) all the 2nd time moms have had 10 times the adjustment issues than with the 1st babies. I liked the anti-anxiety meds in Lexapro, and those first few months are so strange that I figure any help I can get...why not? I''d rather have a tool to help me cope (I can get pretty blue easily) than wait & be miserable.

Ok...well, I gotta get moving. I hired my housecleaners back because my back is out most days & now I remember why I let them go. I left a "to do list" and they did not:
Wipe down kitchen sink or appliances
mop kitchen floor
vacuum living room or master bedroom

and while they cleaned the heck outta my bathrooms ---they didn''t clean my sink....cleaned my hubby''s though. Weird. So instead of being mad & silent about it, I called them & they were like "well we mopped & vacuumed" and it turns out they didnt'' use my vacuum cleaner (even though I''ve seen them use it before) and there is NO WAY the mopped my kitchen floor..dh & I went around & found huge splotches of dirt everywhere. And as far as my carpet goes...I have a frize, and it shows when you vacuum...there are nice ''lines'' from the vacuum cleaner & my vacuum picks up my dog hair. I even changed out the bag before they came so it would be ready to go & put all MY supplies in one spot for them.

They offered to come out and fix it today, but I just said no (why do I make it easy on people? dumb dumb dumb) but told them we''d go over how I want stuff cleaned next time. I really like these ladies personally & I''m worried that 3 hours isn''t long enough to get my house done. So...I''ll supervise & if its not enough, then I''ll pay them for another hour....I do get that my house is HARD to clean, but they clean my bf''s house down the street on the same day & hers always looks spotless when they are done!!! What the? I even asked them to clean MINE first to see if that would help. Argh. So I guess I have to supervise. Why does stuff have to be so difficult? There isn''t even any clutter in my house for them to deal with..everything is neat & ready to scrub!

So now I have to vacuum....oh well. I just hate paying someone to "clean" my house & then having to clean it again that day.

I''m trying to make my life easier!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 8/3/2007 12:36:05 AM
Author: snlee
I have a question for all of you - did you have any early signs of pregnancy symptoms? I''ve been feeling really tired lately, my body is achy, I''m sometimes queasy, and my boobs have been sore for about the last week. I doubt I''m pregnant. I just started taking prenatal vitamins last week and I read that the iron and folic acid can make you tired and queasy. What I don''t get is my sore boobs. AF isn''t due till another 1.5 weeks so it''s still very early. Sorry if any of this is TMI. I keep wondering if I''m feeling this way because of the prenatals or because I''m pregnant and waiting another 1.5 weeks to find out seems like forever!

You would only be 1/2 a week preggo if you have 28 day cycles AND if the sperm inplanted on the first day (they can live up to 72 hours I think). So we are talking days. That is pretty early to feel symptoms but everyone''s body is different. I started feeling symptoms when I was 2-3 weeks but they were greasy hair and skin. I was also VERY tired and had period type cramping. My boobs (sides) and back (upper) started getting sore around 3-4 weeks.

The waiting ALWAYS feels like forever

 

[Tacori E-ring]

So I was at Old Navy today (by the way their "coming this fall" T-shirts are finally out) and the lady in front of me told me I was the cutest pregnant lady

Made me very happy (obviously) BUT then she asked when I was due and I told her october. She seemed surprised and said she thought I was farther along (based on my belly size)

Oh well. I still feel good about it. Yes by belly is huge but there is a baby inside there who is ALSO getting huge and I think I am FINALLY okay about it.

Oh I felt this strange tapping almost. It wasn''t really a kick more like bumping. So I put my hand there and there was a really hard spot maybe the size of an orange and then it was normal around it. Would that be baby''s butt or head? It was pretty cool whatever it was.

 

[IrishEyes]

Hey! I was lurking for moment and wanted to chime in with something:

Divergirl - thanks for your comments on new motherhood! I could''nt have said it better myself. I think it''s only fair to shed a proper light on what it''s like to be a new mom and have a little one. So many women will lead you to believe that it''s easy and try to make you feel like a failure if you actually admit that you''re having a hard time. I''m so sick of hearing some women rave about about how easy their baby is or how much they love being a mom, without admitting, when pressed, that while being a mother is a beautiful, rewarding experience, it''s also the hardest job there is (IMO anyway) and it''s not always pretty. Your bouncing baby boy or girl, once home from the hospital,can turn into a nightmare to care for. They can have reflux and constipation issues that keep them up all night, and therefore keep you up all night. They can have colic and scream, inconsolably, for hours on end. They vomit on you, pee and poop on you and get sick. They cry for NO REASON sometimes, making you run around like a chicked with it''s head cut off trying to figure out why they are crying and how to MAKE IT STOP!!!
It''s a hard job, and it''s not always fun. There have been times that have (and I''ll probably get flamed for this, but I really just don''t care) regretted becoming a mother. BUT - at the end of the day (well, sometimes the day doesn''t end, but blends into the very next day with no sleep!!) I look at my baby and see what Dh and I created. and I know that someday she''ll be older and SOMEDAY, it will be worth it. At least that''s what people say happens

anyway, I''m glad that someone finally expressed that. So many women gush and gush about having a baby and make it seem so easy. They make others want to dive into baby world, without giving alot of thought of how much work it really takes. Then when they see how hard it is, and how not all babies are easy babies, they become prime targets for depression.

I love my daughter, but she''s not an "easy" baby. She''s VERY high-maintenance. She has alot of health issues that we are working out and it''s been very hard on us. My marriage is only "ok" right now. I love my husband very much, but there is that "you don''t know how hard I have it" situation going on, as I am currently a SAHM and taking Ashlyn to all the doctors, and he works to support us. We don''t have sex. Seriously. I had a brutal delivery and my body still has not recovered and it''s been ten weeks already. That''s another thing ladies: just because the post-partum period is only 6 weeks does not mean you miraculously feel better at 6 weeks. I''m STILL hurting and bleeding from my vaginal delivery. I''m exhausted, frazzled and still overweight. In short, live Divergirl said - not the glowing woman with a baby that the media and other people lead you to believe you should be.

anyway, not trying to scare some of the mom''s to be. Just please have realistic expectations. My Ashlyn is my world, she really is and I''m still so proud that I gave birth to her! There is a wonderful book that I recommend to all new mom''s who may struggle with guilt/depression after they realize that motherhood is not all smiles and coo''s : "I was a really good mom before I had kids" by trisha ashworth and amy nobile. Great book!

Take care all and good luck on your deliveries!!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 8/3/2007 5:45:55 PM
Author: IrishEyes
Hey! I was lurking for moment and wanted to chime in with something:

anyway, I''m glad that someone finally expressed that. So many women gush and gush about having a baby and make it seem so easy. They make others want to dive into baby world, without giving alot of thought of how much work it really takes. Then when they see how hard it is, and how not all babies are easy babies, they become prime targets for depression.

Thanks for sharing IrishEyes. I think what you said sounds very real and honest...and probably in more cases than you can count, quite true.

As to the highlighted quote above...well, I have long since thought it was a conspiracy that mothers have to drag us unsuspecting fence sitters into their world of misery! Hee hee.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Irish, I respect your honesty. I would be very disappointed if someone "flamed" you on this thread. I feel like this is our safe haven. People really cannot relate to all the changes unless they have been there. Some days I am really scared about becoming a mom. I have wanted to be a mom my entire life so I am not saying I regret the decision to have kids but I know life is going to change (not all for the good). Being in charge of a little, helpless life, that is so overwhelming to me. DH is so confident though. He doesn't understand why sometimes I get freaked out. I think he is in for a shock. But obviously the burden will always be on me (since I will be a SAHM). Also we have no family that lives here so being away from our moms will make it even harder (I think). I am sure having a support system would be comforting for me. But I know with time and practice I will find my way and be the best mom I can be. My mom told me there will be times when the baby cries and there is nothing that will comfort it and I will break down in tears. But at the end of it all we are her greatest accomplishments (but her hardest).

I am sorry to hear about Ashlyn's health problems. I hope the doctors can help her grow into a happy and healthy little girl. I also hope your marriage (and body) recover. Know we are always here for you to vent to. Just b/c you had your baby doesn't mean you have to lurk

ETA: that women who I was talking to at OldNavy said 3 of her close friends were preggo or just had kids. She said they make pregnancy sound SOOO great and it is so tempting for her. I told her honestly that I don't LOVE being pregnant (or at least not all the time). Besides the hung over feeling for three months it is hard on my body (bad heart burn, painful leg cramps, cramping, head aches, back aches, fatigue....) But every woman is different and I know I have it very easy compared to many. Maybe I *will* miss it but I would never glorify it.

 

[divergrrl]

Big HUGS to IrishEyes, & if anyone flames you, I''ll beat ''em up for ya!

I''ve had so many moments this pregnancy where I wish I hadn''t gotten pregnant & only stayed with the one child. I finally just decided to let go & let my life kind of unfold without trying to control it (I''m a massive control freak) and my perspective has been much brighter since--I have more excited to have #2 than terrified to have #2 moments.

I think you sound refreshingly honest & just know, this too shall pass...as for sex...well....I had an episiotomy & there was NO WAY IN HELL that my dh was coming anywhere near me for at least 4 months. Forget it. It hurt until 8 months, and even then, my son was 2 before my former "spark" came back. (and now its gone again--lol) My biggest accomplishment those early months was getting 2 showers a week in. I musta smelled lovely...LOL!

High needs babies are tough, but hang in there, she will grow out of it. Two of my friends had kids that would not stop screaming for the few months and it was pure hell on them. Those kids are pretty amazing now that they are 2....the girl is so advanced she makes my head spin. Still very opinionated, but a good girl & such a love bug. Both of them said they "hated" the baby age & were so happy once their screamers morphed into toddlers.

I about died when my baby turned into a toddler, that''s where I "got mine". I had a relatively easy time with Jake as an infant (months of nursing hell aside--whole ''nother drama that would take too long to write about & is too depressing to me to this day) but when he became mobile, it was like I got hit with a Mack Truck. So....no matter what, the gods of motherhood make sure we all pay our dues somewhere. But then he looks at me, strokes my arm really sweetly & says "I luh you mama" and my God....my heart just stops.

But....and here''s the good news...it does get better. Grab sleep when you can & communicate with your spouse as much as you can. Those 2 things are critical. Oh and beg for help from friends & family....none of us (its our dang generation...educated & capable...who me? need help? never!! only wimps ask for help!) are wired to ask for help & will just suffer if no one offers. Help makes all the difference in the world. Have a grandma come stay a few nights & walk the screamer while you get some sleep. My mom did that for me in the beginning with Jake. It was a huge sanity saver.

Tacori: I''ve had little twinges of guilt this pg because I don''t *love* it like I did with Jake. Even my OB said to me y''day that is not as magical the 2nd time. I feel worse & I''m more tired from caring for Jake as well as being pg. I freak out often about how I''m going to handle two & worry that they will eat me alive. LOL. But then I''ll have the cool stuff like right now, she just rolled over or did some big movement in there I put my hand on my belly & I can feel her little body & it makes it all worth it in the end. I keep thinking that I''ll get to hold that little body soon enough & I just want to nuzzle her soft little skin & cover her in kisses.

 

[jadeleaves]

Date: 8/3/2007 5:45:55 PM
Author: IrishEyes
Hey! I was lurking for moment and wanted to chime in with something...

Hear, hear!

Just lurking a little too, and will post a bit more in a couple of days, but just wanted to say welcome to secondchance, and I hear ya Irisheyes!

xoxo

Jade.

 

[mrssalvo]

irish, hugs woman, seriously, my biggest advice to SAHM's is to try and find one or two days a week (minimum) that you can be alone to shop, mani/pedi, go to the park, have lunch with a friend (no kids..hehe), even for as little as 2-3 hours. it really makes a huge difference mentally and helps your coping ability. I had a lot of help with my first. hubby worked from home so I could sneak out when she napped. My mom also only lived a mile away. Well, just before her first b-day, I found out I was preggo with my second. I cried for days. I wanted another baby, but even one year later I didn't feel normal. I had just stopped nursing a month before and I didn't like being preggo at all. I had very easy pregnancy's and still didn't like it. I had a hard time embracing getting bigger and gaining the 40 lbs. Would I do it again, yes, but it is HARD. then, having my second when my first was only 19 months just wiped me out. I hardly remember lily's early years, eat, sleep, change diapers (both were in diapers) every day. it was harder to go places lugging a carrier and a not always reliable toddler. everyone said, it will get easier and you know what? it did. I also signed my kids up for mother's day out 1 day a week once they were old enough (i felt guilty doing any more that that) but Lily went 2 days a week last year while my oldest was at a 3 day a week preschool. the few days/hours of freedom are just HUGE. please don't hesitate to ask for help and even get your hubby's to do it once they are home from work. they need to spend quality one on one time with the baby too

 

[Ellen]

TravelingGal, I did not know you were pregnant until today when I read it in another post. Congrats!!!!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

What do Braxton Hicks feel like?

 

[Kaleigh]

They feel like cramps or mini contractions. They don''t last long.

 

[Ellen]

Date: 8/4/2007 11:14:47 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
What do Braxton Hicks feel like?

I had these ALL day the day I deilivered my last one. In fact, I never had a regular contraction until they finally gave me Pitocin. Mine were just my abdominal area tightening up, a lot. They didn''t hurt, just very tight.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

We were at the movies last night and my stomach got so tight and crampy. It was really uncomfortable. My back was killing me too. They didn''t last too long but I had a few. It was hard to concentrate on the movie! I was hoping they were just BH b/c even though my brother was born at 28 weeks (that is how far along I am today) that is too early!!! I seem to be fine today but my stomach does hurt (more crappy feeling than crampy). Maybe because everything is getting squished in there?!? Not sure. The baby is kicking strong so I am not worried about him/her.

 

[IrishEyes]

Tacori - that definitely sounds like braxton-hicks. I had them start when i was about as far along as you are. They continued til delivery and they seemed to be worse if I did something too strenuous (climbing a large flight of stairs, carrying something too heavy, etc). They only last a few seconds or so, but yeah, it feels real tight and uncomfortable. Trust me though, they are alot better than real contractions!!

 

[Ellen]

It sounds like BH. You can have them off and on through the latter part of your pregnancy. They won''t hurt the baby, they''re just annoying.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Thanks ladies! Half of me was expecting my water to break

it kind of freaked me out a little. I didn''t know they would be so uncomfortable (even slightly painful). Do you think my back pain was related to them? I got maybe five of them during the movie.

 

[Ellen]

Date: 8/5/2007 1:16:46 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
Thanks ladies! Half of me was expecting my water to break

it kind of freaked me out a little. I didn''t know they would be so uncomfortable (even slightly painful). Do you think my back pain was related to them? I got maybe five of them during the movie.

Sure, it could have been.

 

[IrishEyes]

My darling daughter is napping (finally!) so I thought I''d post my birth story! I realized I never posted it and I always thought birth stories were fun to read when I was pregnant - so here ya go preggo''s!!

So as many know, I came down with a kidney infection when I was 8.5 months pg. I had to stop working and take it easy at home. My doctors said they would induce me at week 37, but when I got that far, I wasn''t dilated or effaced at all and my doctor decided to put me on complete bedrest for the remaining 3 weeks to let the baby''s lungs mature just a little more. I was on antibiotics for the infection.
by the last week of my pregnancy, I was in agony. I could barely walk to the bathroom (something I needed to do like every 5 minutes!) because my back hurt so bad from the infection. I went to the OB and said "enough is enough, I want to be induced like NOW!". They understood and scheduled me to go into the hospital the night of May 24th to start the cervadil implant to help me dilate and efface (was STILL at nothing!). They told me to call at 5pm that night and make sure my bed was ready before going in.
So May 24th comes and I''m all excited, finishing last minute packing and getting ready to go start the birth process. 5pm comes along and I call the hospital. The nurse quickly tells me there is no room!! No beds - labor and delivery is completely full. She tells me to call back at 8am the next morning.

I''m devasted! I immediately break down in tears and call my doctor. He tells me he understands and he''ll see what he can do, but to call at 6 am the next morning and maybe something will have opened up. I''m so depressed I go to Dairy Queen and get myself a giant Blizzard and cry while scarfing down ice cream

Well, lo and behold, at 4 am the next morning - I start having contractions! They woke me up and I thought at first that I had to take a massive number 2! But by a half hour later, I knew that wasn''t it - I knew I was starting labor. I actually wait until 6 am and call the hospital. This nurse rudely tells me there is STILL no room! I say "well, that might be a problem because I think I''m in labor". She says, "well, if you are in labor, we''ll have to just make room for you, so come on in". I call the doctor and tell him I''m going in. Hubby and I head over to the hospital and check-in.
so, for not having any room, they certainly got me in my birthing suite pretty fast because I was in my own suite within 20 minutes of checking in!! I get in the gown and the nurse comes in to check me (let me just say OW OW OW!!!!!) and discovers I''m STILL only at 1 cm and NO EFFACEMENT! I''m ticked! Since I was supposed to be induced that day anyway, they decide to go ahead and start the Pitocin. I inform them like right away that I want the epidural. They kind of laugh at me like "oh she''s so cute - doesn''t want to feel any pain!" and tell me they need me to start the pitocin-induced contractions first while I get a bag of saline through my IV to hydrate me before starting the epidural. So about an hour later - OH MY GOD! OUCH! the pitocin contractions are kicking my a**!! After what seems like an eternity, the anesthesiologist comes in (they are always my favorite people!!) and starts the epidural. He did a GREAT job - it only took about 10 minutes from start to finish and I seriously didn''t feel any pain in my back.
20 minutes later - SWEET RELIEF!! That is the best drug EVER invented by man, let me tell ya! So, the rest of the day just kinda slips on by, I chat with hubby and my mom, although I did get sick a couple times and vomit, but still - better than feeling the contractions!!
at 3pm the nurse checks me - 3cm and 75%. She says she''ll be back in an hour to recheck. At 3:30 I feel a gush of fluid - my water broke! The nurse comes in and confirms that it was my water, but they notice that it''s tinged with green and brown - the baby had a bowel movement in utero. She explains that it''s probably just fine, but to know that when the baby comes out, it''s not going to cry right away because the have to quickly suction the meconium out of the baby''s lungs and airways. I get nervous, but just say "alright".
at 4pm she checks me - Holy crap I''m at 9.5 cm and 100% effaced!! Even the nurse was shocked! I went 6.5 cm in just an hour! She gets the crew together and tells me I''ll be pushing within a half hour!! I start to feel giddy and excited and nervous all at the same time!
a half hour later, sure enough I''m at 10cm. I''m thinking, "wow!! my labor went so fast so far! I''ll push like 5 or 6 times and she''ll be out!! This is awesome!!" HA!!!
I PUSHED FOR 3 HOURS! 3 LOOOOOOONGGGGGG HOURS!

I was in tears, sweating, hysterical and exhausted. I was snapping at anyone who tried to comfort me or console me! Finally, the doctor was like "ok, we need to do something quick here because you are VERY swollen down there and you''ve started to tear and you''re losing alot of blood. I want to use the vacuum extractor"

at this point, I just threw my head back on the pillow and said "fine. whatever, just please take this baby out somehow!"
from that point on, it was fast, like a blur. I remember hearing the sound of sucking and hearing the doctor tell me to give a REALLY big push. I pushed like never before - it was liike I was a monster, I was grunting and growling as I pushed with everything I had - seriously, I didn''t think I had that kind of strength, especially since I had already pushed for so long! I felt ALOT of pressure (not really painful though) as the head came out. They said, "look down, look down!" and I saw my beautiful daughter''s head!! I kept pushing, pushing, pushing and suddenly everybody was cheering. I looked down and saw my little Ashlyn - she was blue and limp. I closed my eyes really tight and threw my head back, fighting back screams because I thought she was still born. I kept asking "is she ok, is she ok??" and no one would answer me. My husband and my mom followed the doctors over to the bassinette where they were working on her, suctioning her lungs. Then I heard it. That first wail, the most beautiful sound I have EVER heard in my life!! I just starting laughing and crying. I will never forget that moment as long as I live....
I didn''t get to hold her for almost an hour. That''s how long it tookt the doctor to stitch me up. I lost alot of blood and when the epidural wore off - the worst pain I have EVER felt - worse than the contractions. They said it was because of all the swelling and tearing. They had to put pads full of ice on me and by 11pm that night, I was screaming in pain. I finally convinced them to put the epidural back in (the catheder was still in my spine, they just needed to hook up another bag). I kept the epidural in through the night so I could sleep.
I spent 3 days in the hospital because of the complications. I was SOOO painful to get up and use the bathroom and shower - it took me like 10 minutes to walk 3 feet! Ashlyn had to be put on IV antibiotics because of an abrasion she had on the top of her head from the vacuum. But she handled it like a champ and she was soo good in the hospital (home is entirely different thing!!)
So, here we are 10 weeks later. Ashlyn is smiling and cooing now, when she''s not in pain from her reflux and constipation. I could write a book on the roller coaster ride it has been with her so far! Some of the things I wrote in my previous post give you an insight on some of her issues. But all in all - is it worth it? ABSOLUTELY.
so there it is - my story! I can''t wait to hear everyone else''s when they have their babies!!!

 

[divergrrl]

Irish! Wow! What a story, you poor thing! I''d kill my doctor if he made me push for 3 hours. Geez...he did the vacuum extract thingien on me after 20 mins...ugh...not looking forward to L&D again. I wanted to cry when you described her as blue & limp, but thank God she''s ok. We need a pic!

Tacori: Yeah, sounds like BH. I am one of those "special" girls who feels mine starting about 3 months. I think part of it is because I am so active (teaching aerobics, yoga, dance classes through my pregnancies) that I''d have them for HOURS after I did anything strenous/athletic. Paired it with round ligament pain my first time & I thought I was in labor at 4 months! eek! Trust me, I know BH aren''t supposed to hurt, but mine do cause some pain (partially from squeezing my bladder I think) but after having had labor contractions I know they aren''t the same. Whole different ballgame on pain chica. Here, I pulled some links on BH & preterm labor signs for you...just for reassurance.

Also, you can tell if its not labor by going and drinking some juice or water & laying down for awhile on your left side--they''ll go away. Getting low on water will bring them on too.

False Labor:

http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/pregnancy/childbirth/491.html

Braxton Hicks:

http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/pregnancy/childbirth/156.html

Hope those are helpful...and I say "hooey!" to them not being painful. Its like that episode of Friends where Rachel goes to the ER for pain & the doc & Ross say ''oh Braxton Hicks, those don''t even hurt!" to which she replies "NO UTERUS? NO OPINION" Which has become my sort of battle cry as of late. LOL.

 

[curlygirl]

Hi Irish!!!! Good to hear from you!!!!! What a birth story. I'm so sorry you had such a difficult time but I know it was all worth it in the end to have your precious Ashlyn. And I definitely have to comment on your previous post about the trials and tribulations of having a new baby. I couldn't agree with you more--IT IS THE HARDEST JOB ON EARTH. I know I'm fortunate to have an "easy" baby but let me tell you, it still has taken a toll on my life. There was a point a few weeks ago when I really was considering a divorce. Like I called my parents and was trying to come up with a plan for them to come and get me and the baby in the middle of the night. I know it was due to hormones and sleep deprivation but it was also very real and painful at the same time. I gave birth on a Saturday, we got home from the hospital on Monday and DH went back to work on Tuesday. He still has not taken a single day off to be with the baby, only weekends. I didn't have a baby nurse and my mother didn't come and stay over. I was VERY alone and trying to deal with lack of sleep and figuring out what a newborn wants. He got to go to work every day and escape the house and then when he got home, he was "too tired from working" to help me with the baby. We had a major, major fight with him sleeping on the couch, etc. It wasn't pretty and I think that's when I realized that things would never be the same again! Sex?? Um, what is that again?!

We did it once during the entire pregnancy and then once about 3 weeks ago on his birthday. And then at 11 weeks post partum, I finally got my period and things have started to become more "normal". Plus, I'm back to work and while I don't love the thought of being away from Lily, there is a part of me that is happy to be out of the house. Yes, I do gush about motherhood because for me, it is the best thing that has ever happened to me but it's certainly not a piece of cake and really affects everything else in my life. So Irish, I applaud you for your honesty and I stand behind you, sister. I hope you know you can come here to vent and nobody will flame you. Sending good thoughts and hugs your way. Can't wait to see some pics of Ashlyn!

ellaila, the Bumbo is just like the bebe pod from what I can tell but I think maybe the Bumbo is made of softer material? I'm not really sure but they both serve the same purpose. Thank you for your sweet comments! I honestly don't know what the hell I'm doing half the time but I'm kinda faking it and letiing my instincts guide me! I never really believed people who talked about the maternal instinct stuff but it just sort of kicks in without you realizing it and you start to figure things out.

Diver, I know, I'm way too chipper!!!!

As hard as it is to be a mom, I'm just trying to make it fun--for my own sanity!!!! Lily had a massive diaper blowout today and I was practically up to my elbows in poop when she decided to spit up all over herself. Of course, DH had run out to the store so I was all by myself dealing with this and as I was about to freak out, I looked down at my girl and she was just smiling at me like the most content kid on earth. So I had to laugh--it's better than crying!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Irish, thank you for your birth story. I am so sorry you had a rough time. I hope the next one (if you have another) goes smoother for you!

Diver, these were painful (not like heavy cramping) but still extremely uncomfortable. Since we were not at home and I couldn't get comfortable which I think it made it worse. I might have been dehydrated since it has been SOOOO hot here. I made DH go get me a bottle of water and they seemed to get better. I was concerned by how many I experienced. I was thinking of what the closest hospital was and how ironic if I delievered at 28 weeks

Today (besides the stomach ache this morning) I feel much better. I am SOOO not ready to have this baby yet!

The nursery is not even started. But DH and I made a pack. He is going to Vegas in a few weeks with the guys so he promised he would have his part of the nursery (paint and trim) done by there) in return I will be a cool almost 8 month preggo wife and not make him feel guilty. Works for me!

Ella, I am not sure the difference (maybe there is none, just different companies). I didn't even register for the Bumbo since it is a few months since they can use it. So it was a (good) surprise gift. It is very soft (which I like) and I will probably buy the tray. It got tons of awards (they are listed on the side of the box, haha). I just found out our neighbor is having twins! I am so excited b/c there seem to be no other babies in the neighborhood. She is 13 weeks along and they have a little boy (maybe 3???).

EDD: 10.28

 

[TravelingGal]

Thanks Ellen!

IrishEyes, wow, what a birth story! Thanks for sharing...I love reading these. They absolutely fascinate me...women are tough creatures!

Curlygirl, thanks for your honesty too. My friend, who had a great relationship with her hubby said she had never hated him before she had her son, and then she really didn''t like him for the first 6 months of the kid''s life. That seemed to have a lot to do with the fact that he just didn''t understand that LIFE CHANGES when you have a kid. He didn''t make the sacrifices needed and didn''t see that his wife was making them. I think men sometimes may feel helpless when the baby is a blob, but mostly it''s because they are just more selfish than women and don''t want to give up their fun. We''ve had 9 extra months to understand things are changing...their own life seems to change more overnight...or at least they seem to think so...and they seem to deny it a lot more!

So, has anyone here considered doing this whole thing without an epidural? I don''t want to start a heated debate (I''ve read a few on some Internet forums) but I''m curious. I''m not afraid of pain so I am pretty curious what all this is about. However I am not opposed to having an epidural at all. I''m definitely no "tree hugger".

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Tgal, I know a few women who have delievered their babies without an epidural. Honestly for me that is just NOT an option. I think I handle pain well but just don''t understand the point of being in pain when I don''t have to be. Obviously every woman needs to make her own choice. Just remember there is a point when there is no going back. If you go too far into the delivery they cannot and will not give you an epidural. There just wouldn''t be a point. So you need to make you decision and stand by it.

How are you feeling? Around 6-8 weeks was when my m/s kicked in

 

[TravelingGal]

I kind of liken it to running a marathon.

WHY would anyone run one if they didn''t have to? But people do for the experience. The discipline and training beforehand and the strange, bizarre desire to really see what your body can do. I have run two of them. The first, miserable (it was 90 degrees) the second, completely fun.

I am guessing that labor is far far far more painful

. But unlike anything I can think of, labor is the one time where something totally joyous (obviously the birth of your kid) is pretty much guaranteed to follow the pain. Somehow that seems more manageable to me.

I like the idea of being able to walk around during labor (or fall down writhing in pain...whatever.

) Obviously most women do not understand why ANYONE would suffer if they didn''t have to. I guess I can understand that, and I''d be the first to accept an epidural if I couldn''t handle it. But it seems like there are some compelling reasons to give birth naturally too. And yes, I realize there is a point of no return.

I guess I have some friends that really really fear labor and pain. To the point of wanting to be completely ignorant of what will/may happen. I don''t understand that mentality myself. They''re stressed out and wanting to get pain relief as soon as they get into the hospital. I''m afraid they''re going to go into full fledged panic or something! Some friends of one of my friends who is preggo are so afraid of labor and pain that they were trying to convince her to have an elective C-section. I told her they were nuts...that they would rather have her go through MAJOR surgery where recovery is typically much harder because they thought having a baby was too tough and scary? These girls a bit younger and I wonder if the all gain, no pain mentality of younger people these days has something to do with it.

Listen to me...cranky old woman...

As for how I feel...so far, so good. Going into my 7th week and just feel kind of queasy later on in the day. Decreased appetite but I am forcing myself to eat, and I am having no problems holding it down.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Tgal, we are obviously *very* different women!

Hey, I am not judging. If someone wants to go natural they are stronger and braver than me. I have a history of ovarian cysts that erupt. That pain is probably a small fraction of what labor would be but it is horrible. I mean doubled over, crying, blinding, serious pain that has had be going to the ER countless of times. Even with pain meds they are painful. First births take awhile and I want to enjoy the antipication instead of feeling like I am going to die. My dad does epis for a living so obviously I have a pretty open view of them. If he says they are safe, I''m the first to sign up.

 

[TravelingGal]

Oh, I firmly believe they are safe. My best''s friend''s hubby is an anethesiologist. The reason I speak of that are "compelling" is pretty much not wanting to prolong stages of labor, etc.

Well, I am hoping that I won''t feel like I am going to die. If it gets to death, or any foreshadowing of feelings of death, you can be sure I''ll be asking for the epidural!

 

[Miranda]

Coming out of lurkdom to talk about one of my favorite things!!! I love epidurals! I''m a huge sissy and hate any type of pain. That said during my 3 labors I was ''tough as nails'' and waited until I couldn''t stand it anymore to get the epi. All three times I was complete within a few hours of having it. Now, I had verrrrrrrrrry long ladors and now looking back I wish I''d have had the epi sooner. There''s something to be said about a relaxed mama dilating faster. Not trying to pressure you TGal! I just thought I''d offer another viewpoint. If you like marathons, you may get a great deal of satisfaction from a natural delivery. Anyway you crack it, a healthy baby is most important.