Calling all the Pregnant PS''ers

[Pandora II]

Sabine, one of the reasons that I''m being put under the microscope by all these people is because DH and I don''t have family that live near by, so if I find things difficult it''s not as if my mother can pop round 10 minutes later and help out. Instead I will be offered professional help when I feel I want to throw either myself or the baby into the Thames in desperation!

So, I can totally understand the worry of being a bit isolated. From what I was told yesterday it seems that it''s a position a lot of people find themselves in, and naturally worry about and the vast majority are absolutely fine.

You might find that going to some mother & baby groups after the birth mean that you can meet a few people in similar situations.

On the name choosing, part of me was slightly sad that DH didn''t want to do the whole going through the baby name book thing and making lists. Instead we choose ours over lunch before going to a friend''s wedding 2 months before I got KTFU! I love the names we picked - and I''m glad it was fairly easy to do - but it would have been fun (for me anyway) to have spent longer on it!

If anyone wants a list of ''baby essentials'', I''m happy to post up my list - I was given FOUR pages by someone and through talking to friends, relatives etc I''ve pared it down to something more affordable.

Fiery, I found planning the wedding VERY stressful and event planning is part of what my job entailed. I certainly wouldn''t want to do the same again whilst being pg unless I was doing something small (50 people-ish), didn''t have to DIY anything and could throw money at vendors.

I would suggest either waiting or doing something very small and simple.

LOL about your colleague by the way. I have a 92 year old grandmother who has a codicil in her will disinheriting any children born out of wedlock (shame there''s noting to inherit!). When DH was being adamant that he didn''t want to ever get married a few years ago she asked me what we would do about children, so I explained that marriage wasn''t actually necessary for procreation.

A letter arrived a few days later saying: "I am most disturbed and distressed about your talk of having progeny outside wedlock, I would so much prefer to think of you as a wife and mother than as some kind of brood-mare."

It''s one of my most-treasured possessions - my father thinks we should have it framed!

Some people are just incapable of saying the right thing - far better just to see it as an unfortunate foible of theirs...

Pandora
22 wks 3 days

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Hope to hear good news from the interviewing, DD!!

 

[Courtneylub]

Before I signed on this morning, I thought "I believe Blen is now in her 3rd trimester. And I''m right behind her!"

 

[fieryred33143]

Good morning everyone. We''re finally going to get our internet fixed at home so I can post at night. There''s always so much activity to catch up on in the morning (especially on Mondays!)

As far as classes for me, I think child birth (or is it called lamaze?) is a class I would take. I''m certified in CPR so I won''t take that class or the infant care because there are a gagillion children in my family. I would like to take bf classes because I''m just weird that way. Something that seems natural enough will not be for me and if he/she doesn''t latch on the first time, I''ll instantly think I''m doing something wrong. Plus, no one in my family bf. They pumped but didn''t bf and my mom did such a long time ago that I don''t think I''ll have anyone to get help from at home.

Blen-Love the names!!
Lindsey-Love the name Natalie. I have at least 4 friends that are named Natalie and they''re all wonderful (I base name choices after my experience with someone with the same name LOL

)
Pandora-I''m sorry if I missed this before but is this a normal routine check-up they do in your area? LOL @ your grandmother. This coworker is mega annoying and the only thing that gets me through her comments is that she does it to everyone. The guys in our department avoid her because if not, she''ll start harrassing them with questions about when they are going to get engaged

.
Sabine-Thanks for your input! So glad its "nothing." We''re not far from family/friends but I also don''t have any mom friends. I''m desperately trying to be friends with FI''s bf''s wife. They have a 5 year old and I think it''ll be great to be able to hang out with her.
China-Thanks for the input. It is a hard decision and one I don''t want to make right now. I just can''t. I am 1 week behind Robbie. I''ll be 15 weeks tomorrow

Mela-I feel the same way about "owning" names. That''s why I haven''t said what we are thinking of outloud. We mentioned Sophia and that''s when we found out that''s the name of FI''s cousin''s daughter. Even though she''s in Chile, her grandmother (fi''s aunt) keeps mentioning how wonderful it''ll be to have 2 Sophias in the family. No thank you

Oh and REEEELLLLAAAAAAAAXXXXXXX LOL
LL-Hang in there hun and much sticky vibes to you! I think there are a lot more people that are constantly nervous in those first few weeks than there are confident people. I was convinced that we had lost the baby around 7 weeks because I had no symptoms at all. I completely detached myself from the baby because I "knew" it was over. Turns out everything was fine. Keep us posted!
Courtney-Wow. I remember your announcement on BWW and now you''re almost in 3rd tri. Unbelievable.

Want to hear something weird. I kind of miss being in those first few weeks

. I feel like I''m in limbo right now. There''s nothing exciting going on like the loss of or picking up symptoms. No more u/s for a few weeks. I won''t find out the sex of the baby for a few more weeks either. My clothes fit tight but I''m not big enough to fill into maternity clothes just yet. My appetite is getting back to normal so no more funny craving story.

I''m just sort of a blob that has muffin top cause of my pants and is just sitting around waiting. I have an appt on Monday but will only hear the hb. Haven''t heard it yet so that should be exciting/new.

<--14w6d

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 1/16/2009 9:31:24 AM
Author: fieryred33143
Good morning everyone. We''re finally going to get our internet fixed at home so I can post at night. There''s always so much activity to catch up on in the morning (especially on Mondays!)

As far as classes for me, I think child birth (or is it called lamaze?) is a class I would take. I''m certified in CPR so I won''t take that class or the infant care because there are a gagillion children in my family. I would like to take bf classes because I''m just weird that way. Something that seems natural enough will not be for me and if he/she doesn''t latch on the first time, I''ll instantly think I''m doing something wrong. Plus, no one in my family bf. They pumped but didn''t bf and my mom did such a long time ago that I don''t think I''ll have anyone to get help from at home.

Blen-Love the names!!
Lindsey-Love the name Natalie. I have at least 4 friends that are named Natalie and they''re all wonderful (I base name choices after my experience with someone with the same name LOL

)
Pandora-I''m sorry if I missed this before but is this a normal routine check-up they do in your area? LOL @ your grandmother. This coworker is mega annoying and the only thing that gets me through her comments is that she does it to everyone. The guys in our department avoid her because if not, she''ll start harrassing them with questions about when they are going to get engaged

.

Hi fiery, no it''s very far from a normal check-up. Basically I was very ill due to the stress I was under because of work which combined with my having cut the meds I take for my bipolar back to next to nothing caused a major depressive episode.

My medical team are worried because my chances of PPD were already around the 70-80% mark because I am bipolar and the chance is even higher now because I have had ''antenatal depression''.

When you''re very depressed it''s hard enough to look after yourself let alone a small baby, so they monitor you a lot to make sure that you are coping so that they can step in early and offer you help and support. Although it is the same team who take children away from their parents and into care, this is actually quite rare and very much last resort.

It has made me even more angry with my employer as if they hadn''t done what they did it''s unlikely that I would have been ill and then I wouldn''t have to be jumping through these hoops and having to prove I will be a good mother before the baby is even born.

I am hopefully keeping a balanced view on it all, and I know that it is there for my own well-being and that of the baby, but it is slightly embarrassing and stressful. Most of the people they see are drug addicts who have no partner and live in complete squalor and I don''t like feeling I am lumped in the same basket - I may be totally wrong here, but that is what it feels like.

I have a feeling that Fisher works in this area?

My grandmother is nuts - I intend to be equally badly behaved if I make it to her age!

 

[fieryred33143]

I think that based on what I''ve read from you here, you seem to be handeling it all so well. I can''t imagine going through all of that stress. I hope we can be your support through everything.

 

[nycbkgirl]

LL- so sorry hun that u have to go through all this worry and panic. im almost 22wks and I still worry some each and every day. I really haven''t been able to enjoy pregnancy but I am calmer than I was before. Try to stay focused on other things..I tried to keep as busy as possible. I realy hate it when the docs tell u they don''t known why its happening...I just can''t seem to accept that answer..what do u mean u don''t know??...but when u see that u/s and everything is ok u have a sense of relief and nothing else matters. Lots of dust and keep us posted

 

[so cal girl]

Can I tentatively join this thread? I think I''m pregnant. I POAS last night, and there were definitely two lines! We have been trying for 3 months, but had to take Clomid this last month due to the discovery of PCOS. It was hard on me knowing that I needed help getting pregnant, but now I am so excited!!!

The problem is, I called the doctor and they said they don''t usually see anyone until 7-8 weeks. I got them to let me come in at 6 weeks, which is still a week and a half away. My husband doesn''t want me to get too excited until the doctor confirms it.

So now I am in limbo. I don''t know how to not be excited, but I also don''t want to have a huge let down. Okay, just freaking out a little!

 

[fieryred33143]

Congrats so-cal, welcome

and loads of sticky vibes to you!!

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 1/16/2009 10:03:38 AM
Author: fieryred33143
I think that based on what I''ve read from you here, you seem to be handeling it all so well. I can''t imagine going through all of that stress. I hope we can be your support through everything.

Thanks sweetie, it has made a big difference having this place to come to!

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 1/16/2009 12:54:02 PM
Author: so cal girl
Can I tentatively join this thread? I think I''m pregnant. I POAS last night, and there were definitely two lines! We have been trying for 3 months, but had to take Clomid this last month due to the discovery of PCOS. It was hard on me knowing that I needed help getting pregnant, but now I am so excited!!!

The problem is, I called the doctor and they said they don''t usually see anyone until 7-8 weeks. I got them to let me come in at 6 weeks, which is still a week and a half away. My husband doesn''t want me to get too excited until the doctor confirms it.

So now I am in limbo. I don''t know how to not be excited, but I also don''t want to have a huge let down. Okay, just freaking out a little!

Congratulations! If you got two proper lines in the time limit, then you are KTFU!

Men do seem to have a problem believing lines on tests - mine didn''t believe it until I got a digi and he could read the word!

Here in the UK they don''t see you until 10 weeks normally and they don''t take blood or anything to confirm - if you say you did an HPT and it was positive then they just believe you... I got an early US at 8 weeks due to bleeding otherwise 12 weeks is the earliest they do things.

It seems in the USA that in a lot of places they do betas, early US etc

For what it''s worth, I started POAS at 5 DPO and carried on for about a week after I got my BFP (hey I had loads of ICs and it was fun to watch the line get darker!)

 

[nycbkgirl]

Congrats so cal! So exciting...im so glad clomid worked for u (I have pcos and it didn''t help me)...but I would ask the doc to try to get u in earlier bc u have pcos they can overide that 7 wk rule...or as chinas experience goes..maybe u have "cramping" or uncomfort if u know what I mean...I just hate those stupid u/s rules..but even if u decide to wait for it..try to relax and take one day at a time bc time seems to be flying for us girls here on ps...congrats!!!

 

[ChinaCat]

Congrats again So Cal! And welcome!

Ah, welcome to the lovely world of waiting. I found out around 4 weeks, had my first appointment and u/s at 6 weeks, but that''s really early. For me, I was in such shock that it kind of went quickly. I did POAS a few more times, which is just kinda fun.

I didn''t really feel any symptoms at all so it was so hard to believe that I was actually preggo. My DH was the same- not that he didn''t believe me, but it wasn''t until we saw the heartbeat at the first appointment that he really got it. He kept talking about false positives with the HPT! I was like, not 4 or 5 honey! There is nothing you can do but relax and try to take care of yourself. It will go by faster than you think. And come here and chat whenever you get antsy. But tell your DH a positive test means you are KTFU!!!!!

 

[Courtneylub]

There''s no such thing as a false positive, co gal!! Congrats!

 

[mela lu]

Pandora - I lol''d at the story about your Gma. She seemed like a lady full of piss and vinegar. LOVE IT! haha.

So cal - WELCOME!! you are def preggo...so sit back, relax, and let the (copious) waiting begin! If you ever find yourself getting overwhelmed, try focusing on small tangible goals, like, your first appt. Try not to think too much about anything too far away

LittleL - Glad to see you kickin around girl! So sorry that you''re having a rough go. I know the feeling. I bled for 3 weeks and even though I *knew* things were progressing well, I couldn''t help worrying. Hang in there!

DD - ????

Blen - how''s the 3rd Tri treating you

We had a major power blackout in the city today. The subway and Hydro were out (in my neck of the woods) so I brought my doggie, Mela, to work with me so that she didn''t freeze in the house. Love having her here.

We''re going to Ikea tonight to get a chest of drawers for the baby''s room. (double as a change table). FIRST BABY PURCHASE!!!

I''ve been thinking a lot of how to decorate a unisex nursery. Yoinks. Don''t know...but thinking that butter yellow, pale blue, lavender and sage green would be nice combo...I want the room to have a whimsical feel (almost an enchanted forest) but not literally (no murals or deer or anything). More as a jumping off point. Natural flora and fauna etc.

inspiration welcome

 

[Blenheim]

GAK! This is my FIFTH FREAKING TIME trying to post and the computer keeps eating things. This time, I''m just sticking to all of the ME ME ME stuff and dividing it into two posts (to avoid losing stuff).

I went to bed last night with cramping, but just assumed that it was stuff stretching out. I woke up at 3:30 am with blood all over my underwear, pjs, and sheets, but in the dark just thought that I had peed myself or something until I turned on the light in the bathroom and realized that there was blood all in the toilet and on the floor. Needless to say, my m/w had me immediately go into L&D and she met me there. After hours and hours of monitoring and two ultrasounds, they think that I just had a subchorionic hematoma (don''t know if I''m spelling that right) that decided to bleed out. My placenta and the baby evidently look pretty good right now. The nurses have all commented on how incredibly active the baby is. It''s been really stressful - there was a chance of an emergency ceserean earlier on, and they wouldn''t allow me to have any foods or drinks until afternoon just in case. Even now, they have an IV in and a heplock in, in case my placenta detaches and I immediately need both drugs and a blood transfusion. And in addition to all of the blood at home, both arms started shooting blood when they stuck me for the IVs- it''s been such a bloody crazy day. I''m here overnight for monitoring, and so that they can give me the second of the beta steroid shots just in case. I may need to go on bedrest, but I''ll know more tomorrow. I''m trying to remain optimistic, as there is a good chance that everything will end up being A-ok.

Amazingly, my cervix is still nice and long and closed and contractions have been few and far between today.

 

[fieryred33143]

OMG Blen I can''t even imagine what must have been going through your mind when you saw that. I am incredibly glad that you and the baby are doing well. Please keep us posted.

 

[Blenheim]

Wooo! It posted! Continued...

L&D really isn''t too bad, now that I''m allowed to eat/drink. My middie had me go to the quieter hospital with the nicer rooms and better staffing, but it still has a level III NICU just in case.

I saw my m/w''s doula side come out a few times last night (she does both), and I''m so glad that she was there with us. She realized a few times that I wasn''t sure what they were doing or why, and kept encouraging me to ask questions. She also got the nurses to bring a wet towel to clean up my belly after a hasty u/s goo cleanup left me pretty sticky. I felt a lot less lost with her there, and I''d really recommend having a doula now - and she hasn''t even helped me through painful contractions or anything like that yet!

Because baby''s not being difficult enough, it''s also frank breech. My m/w on Tuesday wasn''t 100% sure whether the hard bump above my belly button was butt or head, but thought the heartbeat wasn''t in the right place for a breech baby so we assumed it was head down. Nope. The nurses keep getting a little confused when trying to find baby''s heartbeat, because it''s not where they expect for a breech baby either. But the ultrasounds fortunately showed that the heart is still in the chest.

I''m not too concerned, as baby still has time and room to turn. It''s just one more thing.

Obviously can''t go to our first of two childbirth classes tomorrow, but my m/w got in touch with them after she left us and they''re ok transfering the money to another class. I don''t think we can fit in any of the remaining childbirth classes, but they do have private instruction that we may go for.

 

[littlelysser]

Alright, ladies, I''ve *officially* decided to jump in and start participating in the thread! I ended up changing practice groups, found a new one I really like, and met with one of the docs. He was great and told me that my chance of m/c is in the single digits...because we''ve seen the HB and it looks like the kid is doing alright.

Pandora - I''m sorry you are having a tough time with things. That just stinks. And I understand why you feel like you do, and also why you shouldn''t feel lumped in with the other folks you''ve mentioned, but it just stinks.

NYC - Yeah, it kind of stinks that the docs can''t tell me what is wrong, but because everything looks okay, and my doc isn''t super worried about it, I guess I won''t be either. And really, there isn''t a darn thing I can do, you know?

Fiery - Thanks for the kind words!

China - Dh and I were joking that by the time this kid comes, we''ll have had like 394806 ultrasounds. After my appointment today, I''m *starting* to feel a bit optimistic. and excited. So yay for that!

So Cal - Ain''t no such thing as a false positive!

And I had some bleeding and cramping and I had US at 5w5d. They told me not to expect much, but we saw the HB then. Like some of the other ladies have said, there are ways to get seen earlier, not that I''m advocating lying, but don''t hesitate to call with questions and stuff. Oh, and also POAS''d like a maniac for the first week after I got my BFP. I had had an early mc in the past, so I was comforted to see the lines getting darker and darker!

Question for all - particularly those that will be over 35 when the baby is born - are you/did you do any testing? IF so, what?

 

[littlelysser]

Oh Blen - I''m so sorry you are having to go through this! I''m glad that all looks good - and you and your LO will be in my thoughts!

 

[Blenheim]

Congratulations, So Cal! Two lines means you''re pregnant! I agree that digitals can help in convincing husbands.

DD - I hope that your interview went well!

Fiery - thanks! By the way, Lamaze is just a type of childbirth class. Other common types include Bradley, Birthing from Within, and Hypnobirth/Hypnobabies (can never remember which is which). The one that we were signed up for isn''t affiliated with any of these groups/types though.

Pandora - I agree that you''re handling everything really well. Your story about your grandmother made me laugh. A list of baby essentials wouldn''t hurt - I''d like to make sure that I''m not missing anything vital, especially now! The weird thing is that last night i started to go to bed, suddenly felt like "OMG baby is going to be here so soon and I need everything NOW!" and walked on back downstairs to start baby shopping online. Then the logical side of my brain kicked in and I was like, "Um, what am I doing, I''m only 28 weeks" and went on back to bed.

LL - I''m sorry to hear that you''ve been having all of the bleeding. The heartbeat is a really good sign. I hope that everything settles down with you.

Mela - if I find any neutral decorating that fits the bill, I''ll let you know. It might give me something fun to do.

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 1/16/2009 5:33:45 PM
Author: littlelysser

Question for all - particularly those that will be over 35 when the baby is born - are you/did you do any testing? IF so, what?

I will be nearly 37 when the baby arrives. My hospital did the NT scan as a matter of course - combined with the blood tests done on the same day.

My plan was to have CVS if my results were under 1:500, higher than the hospital would have used to recommend further testing, but low enough for me to have gone through with it.

In the end my results were so good, plus no soft markers on the US so I opted not to.

DH and I discussed what we would do if I was pregnant and we discovered that the baby had a major abnormality or chromosomal disorder before we got married and so we knew what decisions we would make in advance. Luckily that didn''t crop up, but we are both glad that we had the NT test done.

 

[Pandora II]

Blen, that must have been a fairly traumatic experience to say the least. Good news that you didn''t need the c-section and that your cervix is in good shape.

Fingers crossed that everything is plain sailing from now on. Does it make a difference as to their advice over a home birth?

I''ll turn my excel list into a word one and post it up - mine is for someone who is assuming that they will breastfeed - if you are heading straight for formula then there is probably a load more stuff that you need.

 

[Blenheim]

Thanks, LL.

Pandora, my midwife left after about five hours, when nothing was going on and they just wanted me to sleep while waiting to hear back about stuff, but before she left she said that homebirth may still be in or it might be out, depending on what exactly is wrong. Clearly preterm HB and cesareans are out, if it comes to either of those. I''ve called her to update her what''s going on, but we haven''t had a detailed conversation yet - we''re waiting for tomorrow''s conversation with the doctor.

The OB just decided that they can cut back to fetal monitoring for only about 30 minutes per shift... thank God they can take strap off! It''s so itchy. I still have a contraction monitor on though. Just as itchy, but less overly sensitive.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I''m back! Exhausted from another marathon couple of days, but things went well. Now I wait. I know that the hiring committee from interview #1 met today and so if it is me they chose I should hear next week. Jobs 2 and 3 are wrapping up their interviews next week so all told I should know if/where I have a job by the end of January!

I don''t want to be overly optimistic and jinx things, but I am fairly certain I will get at least one offer. Man alive, that would be amazing, I can''t even imagine how it will feel after 3 years of waiting.

I am too tired to post everything I want, but Blenheim holy moly that sounds scary. I am so gald things aren''t emergent and at the same time glad that you are past 28 week... I recall from Indy''s experience that 28 weeks is a real magic number in terms of fetal development--although 24 weeks is the limit of viabilty, 28 weeks is when the babies tend to have a super high chance of survivial *without* any negative long-term effects. So although I hope things hang on for you another 12 weeks, I am also relieved that you are past the 28 week marker!

Lysser good news, and welcome. You might as well enjoy it now, I say, because who knows what tomorrow brings for any of us! As for the bleeding, there are a bunch of women here who had that and are now far along, so fingers crossed it just resolves over the next couple weeks.

I am pooped and will post more tomorrow.

33w 5d

 

[ljmorgan]

Blen, I was so worried reading your post! I am so glad that things are calming down a little bit. Please rest up, it sounds like you''re in good medical hands. Sending you lots and lots of good thoughts...

 

[nycbkgirl]

blen- o wow i cant imagine what a fright u had! but soooo glad everything is ok and u are in good spirits! keep us posted

mela- congrats on first purchase

i cant wait for that but im still not ready lol

DD- im pretty positve u will get those offers!...i see ur weeks posted and i cant believe its almost time!

 

[mrssalvo]

Date: 1/16/2009 5:33:45 PM
Author: littlelysser



Question for all - particularly those that will be over 35 when the baby is born - are you/did you do any testing? IF so, what?

littlelysser- I was 35 and didn''t do any testing with Jake. I do know Tgal did the amnio and so did divergirl. I think a lot comes down to what you would do with the results. If you would terminate then it''s a good idea to have it done. If you wouldn''t then it''s up to you if you fall into the camp of just wanted to be prepared either way. I do think it can also bring peace of mind earlier if you have it done and find out that everything is okay. I had a false positive AFP test with my first and it freaked me out and was very stressful. I did do the test again with my second but skipped it altogether with Jake because I just freak out about every little thing and figured I would wait until they do the ultrasound where just about everything shows up and I''d know what I was in store for at that point. I will say that if my doctor had recommended that I do the amnio, I would have no question since my age did put me into the "advanced maternal age" bracket

blen- oh what a scare. glad you are okay though..hang in there!!

I hope all you other soon to be mommies are doing well...

 

[neatfreak]

Blen I am so sorry you are going through this! I''ve been there done that with all the monitoring, steroid shots, antepartum hospital stays, etc. so please let me know if there are any questions I can answer. Big hugs and so glad that things are going well now!

 

[snlee]

littlelysser and so cal - CONGRATULATIONS!

Blen, how scary! I can relate to what you are going through since I had a similar scare at 27/28 weeks too. Glad things seems to be okay right now. Hang in there!