Calling all the Pregnant PS''ers

[radiantgirl]

Lindsey - I am so very sorry for your loss. My heart is aching for you. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[nycbkgirl]

Thanks everyone for ur congrats and support but I am so devastated by lindsey''s news I can''t even say anything else..I ditto what everyone else said and can''t comprehend such a thing...we luv ya and stay in touch.
I will update with pics when I can

 

[sbde]

lindsey...i am so so sorry for your loss, i don''t even know what to say. please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers - as is natalie. take all the time and help you need to get through this difficult time, we are all here for you.

 

[Dee*Jay]

Lindsey, I am so very very sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts.

 

[Courtneylub]

I''ve been devastated by Lindsey''s news and haven''t wanted to return to normal posting out of respect for her situation. I don''t know how to handle this exactly.... but I want NYC to know, I hope you are doing well and I look forward to your birth story and pictures. Personally I''m a fingertip dilated as the doc confirmed yesterday, but 0% effaced. I cried to her about Lindsey''s experience and she was very sympathetic.

Lindsey, I hope that you can come here like Mela said because we are all here for you.

 

[ljmorgan]

Thank you to everyone for your kind words and support. This thread has been such a support to me throughout my pregnancy and I have felt such a closeness here. I posted here about our loss when I''m still unable to speak to many of my own friends about this yet. Our families have been staying with us, and I''m so grateful that our parents and closest friends were able to meet and hold Natalie, I know that they all love her too. I am so, so sad but it was so wonderful to be able to spend time with our daughter. Like I said, she was so beautiful, and even though I knew how special being pregnant was, and how amazing it is to have a child, I feel like now I truly know what a miracle it is. I never imagined I''d be sad to lose my pregnant belly so soon, and I never imagined I''d be HAPPY to have my stretch marks to remember her by.

Preggo ladies -- please give your belly an extra rub tonight and know how special your baby is! I really think that our babies know how much we love them. And please return to normal posting! I know that my posts are sad but I don''t want them to slow down what a great support thread this is. I will still read this thread and be thrilled for all of the happy news that I hope to hear. Marc and I should receive results from the autopsy sometime this week and we''re really nervous about that. I am so scared that it was because of the Rh antibodies which would make it less likely that we can try for another child. I am praying and hoping that we can try for another child one day, and that I can join the TTC thread once again, but mentally that feels like such a long time away.

I''m healing well from my c-section, but will still be taking a few months off of work, I can''t even think about dealing with people at work. All of the people that you see casually... I can''t bear to think about them asking me "how is the baby?!" when they see me back. Of course my office knows what happened, but I work for a very large employer and not everyone will know what happened. My husband is taking a month off of work and we''re going to just spend some time doing some traveling once I''m fully healed from the surgery. We''re having a memorial service for Natalie next Monday, and we''ll be having another service next week in California for Marc''s family.

Thank you all again so much for your support, and like I said above, please continue posting your normal posts on the thread. Maybe I will post a losses thread soon where I can post more and others can share their experiences as well.

 

[Bia]

I''m so, so sorry Lindsey.

 

[Courtneylub]

I''m so glad you''re family is with you, Lindsey. It sounds like you''re doing the right thing taking time off of work doing some traveling. I think about you all the time and will continue to do so. I''ll take your advice and give my belly an extra rub tonight. Thank you so much for coming back and sharing more of your story with us.

 

[honey22]

Lindsey, I am just a lurker here but my tears are flowing now for you and your beautiful daughter. I am so very sorry for your loss, words cannot possible be enough at a time like this.

 

[sunkist]

Lindsey, my heart is broken for you. I''m so sorry. Thinking of you, your family, and Natalie.

 

[fieryred33143]

Lindsey I''ve been keeping you and beautiful Natalie in my thoughts. My heart aches for you. Sending lots of love your way.

 

[Blair138]

Lindsey-I am very sorry for your loss. I actually had to not look at this thread for a little while after I read your news because of how sad it made me that something like that could occur. You and your husband are in my thoughts.

 

[Loves2Laugh]

Lindsey, words cannot express how sorry I am for your loss. You, your DH and Natalie are in my prayers.

 

[ChinaCat]

Lindsey- Once again, I am amazed by your grace and strength in your post. You have such an amazing spirit, and Natalie Grace was lucky to have you as her mother. I am so glad to hear you are taking time off to heal. I am praying for peace and comfort for you and your family, and definitely that you will hear good news from the autopsy results, whatever that might be for you. Big big big hugs.



NYC- Congrats on your twinks. We would all love to see pictures and hear your birth story when you are ready. Every baby is such a miracle. And you have two

Courtney- Yay for being fingertip dilated! You''re on your way.

Thinking of everyone and their little ones this weekend. Will definitely be giving my belly an extra rub tonight in honor of Miss Natalie Grace.

xoxo,
ChinaCat
24w today

 

[mela lu]

Linds I''m so glad to see that you posted. I cannot stop thinking of you, and of course Miss Natalie Claire.

(China, I think you had preggo brain and called Natalie "Natalie Grace" instead of "Natalie Claire" which is actually not that far off the mark, considering her graceful passing from this world.)

I echo China when she said that you are handling this with grace and strength. It truly is remarkable given the circumstance. I can only imagine the gamut of emotions you are going to pass through. Allow yourself that freedom. Take every bit of strength and help from your family. I''m so glad they are there for you.

I think having a Memorial is so lovely. I think marking Natalie''s existence is so important, because she was so real, and so prominent in your life all these months. It should be honoured.

I feel like I don''t have a lot of people to talk to about Lindsey and Natalie. I''m having a hard time understanding all of this, and truthfully, it''s a very scary wake-up call to the fragility of life. I thank God that I have you girls that I can come to, as you all understand the special bond we have here. Please let''s share. I know this has touched us all deeply. Actually, Lindsey - I really like your idea about a ''loss thread''. I feel like there are a lot of PS''ers who have experienced deep loss, and can probably help us all navigate through these tough times.

Anyways, all this babbling. I just feel like I want to be here - even if I don''t really know what to do.

 

[mela lu]

NYC - I''m so happy for you and your two little miracles.

I''m looking forward to your birth story and pics as well

 

[snlee]

Lindsey, your post brought tears to my eyes. I am in awe of your strength. You are such an amazing woman and Natalie was lucky to have you as a mother. I think it''s wonderful that you and your DH will do some traveling later. My thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 4/18/2009 10:32:17 PM
Author: mela lu


I feel like I don''t have a lot of people to talk to about Lindsey and Natalie. I''m having a hard time understanding all of this, and truthfully, it''s a very scary wake-up call to the fragility of life. I thank God that I have you girls that I can come to, as you all understand the special bond we have here. Please let''s share. I know this has touched us all deeply. Actually, Lindsey - I really like your idea about a ''loss thread''. I feel like there are a lot of PS''ers who have experienced deep loss, and can probably help us all navigate through these tough times.

I wholeheartedly agree with this. When I read Lindsey''s news I just started to cry. FI asked what was wrong and I couldn''t tell him. I just let him read the news and he was deeply saddened by it as well. It isn''t fair and I really wish I could do more

 

[mela lu]

Date: 4/18/2009 10:42:28 PM
Author: fieryred33143

Date: 4/18/2009 10:32:17 PM
Author: mela lu


I feel like I don't have a lot of people to talk to about Lindsey and Natalie. I'm having a hard time understanding all of this, and truthfully, it's a very scary wake-up call to the fragility of life. I thank God that I have you girls that I can come to, as you all understand the special bond we have here. Please let's share. I know this has touched us all deeply. Actually, Lindsey - I really like your idea about a 'loss thread'. I feel like there are a lot of PS'ers who have experienced deep loss, and can probably help us all navigate through these tough times.

I wholeheartedly agree with this. When I read Lindsey's news I just started to cry. FI asked what was wrong and I couldn't tell him. I just let him read the news and he was deeply saddened by it as well. It isn't fair and I really wish I could do more

I started telling DH, but he couldn't even let me finish. He was FAR too emotional (he's a Cancer) and he said that with me being so close to the due date, he couldn'd handle hearing/listening to that dose of reality. He was overwhelmed. I am too.

Sorry if I'm talking about this too much. I just have no one else to talk to about this...

 

[InLuv101]

Oh my goodness...Lindsey, I''m so very sorry for your loss. You, your husband and Natalie Claire will be in my prayers.

 

[Laila619]

Lindsey, I am so sorry for you and your husband''s loss. It is heartbreaking and devastating. Your little Natalie Claire was so loved. She is in heaven now and she will always be in your hearts. I will pray for your healing and peace.

 

[Allison D.]

Lindsey, I'm so incredibly sad for you, for Natalie, and for your families. I hope you can find solace in the special time you spent with her before and after she was born.

Her mama is a remarkable woman.

Please know that you're all in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Steel]

Oh Lindsey, I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[Sabine]

Date: 4/18/2009 10:47:18 PM
Author: mela lu

Date: 4/18/2009 10:42:28 PM

Author: fieryred33143

Date: 4/18/2009 10:32:17 PM

Author: mela lu



I feel like I don''t have a lot of people to talk to about Lindsey and Natalie. I''m having a hard time understanding all of this, and truthfully, it''s a very scary wake-up call to the fragility of life. I thank God that I have you girls that I can come to, as you all understand the special bond we have here. Please let''s share. I know this has touched us all deeply. Actually, Lindsey - I really like your idea about a ''loss thread''. I feel like there are a lot of PS''ers who have experienced deep loss, and can probably help us all navigate through these tough times.

I wholeheartedly agree with this. When I read Lindsey''s news I just started to cry. FI asked what was wrong and I couldn''t tell him. I just let him read the news and he was deeply saddened by it as well. It isn''t fair and I really wish I could do more

I started telling DH, but he couldn''t even let me finish. He was FAR too emotional (he''s a Cancer) and he said that with me being so close to the due date, he couldn''d handle hearing/listening to that dose of reality. He was overwhelmed. I am too.

Sorry if I''m talking about this too much. I just have no one else to talk to about this...

I think a loss thread would be a good idea too, but we can also talk about it here. I was also a bit shocked at how much this affected me. My DH doesn''t really get it. I mean, he is a medical student, so I think he is more in touch with the reality of these things happening, but he didn''t really understand why I would be so upset over the loss affecting someone I only talk to on the internet. And it wasn''t like I was crying because I was scared for us and our baby. I just feel so bad for Lindsey and her husband, and I can''t imagine anyone trying to get through this.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 4/19/2009 8:23:46 AM
Author: Sabine

Date: 4/18/2009 10:47:18 PM
Author: mela lu

Date: 4/18/2009 10:42:28 PM

Author: fieryred33143

Date: 4/18/2009 10:32:17 PM

Author: mela lu
I feel like I don''t have a lot of people to talk to about Lindsey and Natalie. I''m having a hard time understanding all of this, and truthfully, it''s a very scary wake-up call to the fragility of life. I thank God that I have you girls that I can come to, as you all understand the special bond we have here. Please let''s share. I know this has touched us all deeply. Actually, Lindsey - I really like your idea about a ''loss thread''. I feel like there are a lot of PS''ers who have experienced deep loss, and can probably help us all navigate through these tough times.

I wholeheartedly agree with this. When I read Lindsey''s news I just started to cry. FI asked what was wrong and I couldn''t tell him. I just let him read the news and he was deeply saddened by it as well. It isn''t fair and I really wish I could do more

I started telling DH, but he couldn''t even let me finish. He was FAR too emotional (he''s a Cancer) and he said that with me being so close to the due date, he couldn''d handle hearing/listening to that dose of reality. He was overwhelmed. I am too.

Sorry if I''m talking about this too much. I just have no one else to talk to about this...

I think a loss thread would be a good idea too, but we can also talk about it here. I was also a bit shocked at how much this affected me. My DH doesn''t really get it. I mean, he is a medical student, so I think he is more in touch with the reality of these things happening, but he didn''t really understand why I would be so upset over the loss affecting someone I only talk to on the internet. And it wasn''t like I was crying because I was scared for us and our baby. I just feel so bad for Lindsey and her husband, and I can''t imagine anyone trying to get through this.

I also feel Lindsey''s loss very deeply. People IRL don''t understand how close you can get to your PS friends, how you share your stories and hopes and dreams, especially in a pregnancy thread! When I told one of my friends about Natalie''s passing, she said, "Oh that''s so sad" but then changed the subject without really knowing that I was quite upset by it. I talked about this a little in the mommy thread, but being a mother myself now makes it 1000 times harder to hear about a loss like that so close to the due date! I hugged Hunter for a long time when I read the news. I was pregnant and the same number of weeks as Indy when she lost her boys, and I mourned for her loss and their passing for a long time--I still miss her and think of her boys often--but having a child makes is another kettle of fish.

Lindsey I am also amazed by your strength and grace. Take time to heal and please visit us here whenever you like!

 

[phoenixgirl]

I just turned 29 and really had a wonderful birthday. I told DH that I wanted new fixtures for the bathroom for my birthday, but I got a journey diamond pendant instead. The sweet man said that when the saleslady explained the meaning behind it, he was overwhelmed with love for me and our unborn child and just had to buy it. It''s really pretty.

I also had a childhood friend come visit, and we really enjoyed some nice times together in the beautiful weather.

But it''s also been a sad weekend as well. One of my closest friend''s husband''s tried to kill himself. It obviously wasn''t just a cry for help because he shot himself with a rifle in the head. We don''t know how well he''ll be able to recover but best case scenario involves a hard road of reconstructive surgeries. I want to be as helpful as I can, and I will be the best friend I can be, but other than listening and helping with practical things and being there, there''s nothing I can "do" to fix it. My dad killed himself last year after cancer treatment caused depression, so I can relate on a level that a lot of people can''t, but still her situation seems so much harder. She has deal with the feelings that come with having a loved one do that to himself and supporting him through the recovery process and accepting that he''ll never be the same and worrying that he could do it again. I guess what I''m trying to articulate is that my dad passed after a few hours, and then the "limbo" was over, and that was a relief in a way, and she''s in this limbo for the foreseeable future. Who knows when they''ll have any idea how much he can/will recover.

This on top of Lindsey''s news just makes me sad. I''m giving my belly a love pat in honor of Lindsey''s suggestion. It seems a fitting affirmation of life despite the awful stuff.

 

[Pandora II]

I don''t even say to people I have talked to about this that it''s an Internet friend rather than someone I know IRL as for me there is often closer contact online.

DH was very upset for both Indy and Lindsey - he still talks about Indy - and was very good with me yesterday when I needed to talk it over and cry. I don''t think that you feel these things in the same way if you have never been pregnant and I have no idea yet how you feel about them when you have a child. It sounds terrible, but until I was pregnant myself I couldn''t understand why someone would be affected in a bad way by an early miscarriage - once you know how hard a BFN on a pregnancy test can be, you have a much greater appreciation of the emotions involved at all stages of pregnancy.

I spent a lot of time talking to my father about it this morning - he used to do a lot of obstetrics when we lived abroad and has dealt first hand with very many happy and sadly also many tragic outcomes - especially since it was a developing country and they had minimal equipment.

Mela, Courtney, Sabine and others, I think a lot of us are feeling the same way right now. It is hard to watch someone go through all the ups and downs, excitements and anxieties of pregnancy and then know that they are in such pain. I know that I know far more about all of you than my RL friends pregnancies as we meet less frequently and discuss less of the daily news.

I think it''s also normal to worry about your own situation and how you would cope - I have been amazed and in awe of the way that both Lindsey and Indy have faced things.

It''s hard to know where an appropriate place to talk about such things is, and I hope no-one is offended by my posting here - I know on other forums they have loss threads, but it feels wrong and selfish in some respects to me to post when you are only affected in an indirect way rather than having suffered the loss yourself.

My feeling is that this thread should acknowledge all of people''s concerns, feelings and problems not just the happy ones. I know that I have used it to vent about the less than blooming side of being pregnant, and not just the fun of scan photos and that has been a great support to me at times even when I know that to people who have been TTC for many years my whinging must seem wrong. I hope this all comes across how it is meant - it''s hard to find the right words sometimes...

Thank you for posting again Lindsey - you and your loved ones are very much in my thoughts.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 4/19/2009 8:49:47 AM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

I also feel Lindsey''s loss very deeply. People IRL don''t understand how close you can get to your PS friends, how you share your stories and hopes and dreams, especially in a pregnancy thread! When I told one of my friends about Natalie''s passing, she said, ''Oh that''s so sad'' but then changed the subject without really knowing that I was quite upset by it. I talked about this a little in the mommy thread, but being a mother myself now makes it 1000 times harder to hear about a loss like that so close to the due date! I hugged Hunter for a long time when I read the news. I was pregnant and the same number of weeks as Indy when she lost her boys, and I mourned for her loss and their passing for a long time--I still miss her and think of her boys often--but having a child makes is another kettle of fish.

Lindsey I am also amazed by your strength and grace. Take time to heal and please visit us here whenever you like!

When FI read the news one thing that he said was that he didn''t think he would be able to take photos of the baby. I told him that it''s because he''s not a parent yet. We have a lot of love for our inside baby but its not nearly the same kind of love that we''ll feel once she''s here.


NYC-How are you feeling? How are the twinks? Please give us an update when you can. I''m thinking of you and your little ones too.

 

[zoebartlett]

Lindsey,

I am so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine what you and your husband must be going through. I usually lurk here, but I wanted to let you know that I''ve been thinking of you.

Zoe

 

[KimberlyH]

Lindsey, you and yours remain in my thoughts.