Calling all the Pregnant PS''ers

[neatfreak]

Date: 10/7/2008 2:50:17 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie
NF what is the false positive rate for amnio with genetic testing being done? I thought there were no errors (i.e. really minimal) with the genetic tests? I'm gonna have to look it up.

Errors might be a misnomer, but there are false positives (from what I understand...but I could be wrong, I believe that it happens when the abnormal cells aren't actually from the babies?). Most of the false positives I meant from the earlier screens, making the amnio unnecessary. Even if you get a positive for some of the genetic disorders it doesn't tell you much about how highly functioning your child might be you know? You could have a child with downs syndrome who is so highly functioning that most people don't know. And then again you could have a child who is so debilitated that they can't function.

AND not to mention the fact that these tests only pick up about 50% of babies with downs in the first place it appears, and it is far from perfect...but that might be the earlier screeners and not the amnio. I can't seem to find good information about what you get from each test specifically.

With twins the false positive rate is even higher for the blood tests and amnio results less accurate as a whole. So for *us* it didn't make sense.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Lara, I agree...find an OB or a different midwife who you like. I think it really helps to click with your caregiver. I felt this way with my OB an know I will use him for the next baby. Also if you want pain control that is your right. Don''t let anyone feel like you are doing something wrong or bad for the baby because you are NOT! I will have an epi with every child. Natural childbirth is not something I am curious about. I respect those who do it that way and expect them to respect the way I do it

I had a woman who criticized be for being induced

Not being natural or something. DH did not mention to her that in that case HER being on drugs at 30 weeks (for 4 weeks) to stop her contrax is NOT natural either. Even after I said how she would have gotten very sick if I had waited to deliver (there was a lot of meconium in my water) she still blamed the induction on that. Whatever. But I am firm believer in medicine. It was how I was raised. My OB said he would induce me at 39 weeks next time b/c I had such a hard time pushing her out and he was worried with a larger baby I wouldn''t be able to.

Kay, it will be FINE! I promise!

 

[snlee]

nyc, I always had brownish discharge (old blood) when I spotted. Phew! I am glad everything is okay. And I must have missed it''s confirmed you''re having twins! CONGRATS!

Mela, I looked through my weekly pictures and definitely by week 11 there was a noticeable change in my belly. I can tell you can''t wait to start showing. Don''t worry. The bump will come soon enough and then you''ll want it to slow down!

 

[snlee]

Date: 10/7/2008 1:40:37 PM
Author: Jas12
Lara--you should switch caregivers if you *hate* the ones you have.Midwives are supposed to be women-centered meaning most don''t outright advocate the use of drugs (and with reason, there are risks involved with drugs and without them) but they should not undermine or belittle a woman who does choose to have them. Find someone you are comfortable with. You are high risk now so iam assuming a midwife wouldn''t take you now anyway right? Hopefully you can find a great OB and have the type of birth you want for # 3.

Also, if 30% of women died during natural childbirth i think at least of few of us PS mommas would be dead now

I wouldn''t have had a natural birth if i had nearly a 1 in 3 chance of dying!

I agree was Jas! And a big ditto for that last part!

 

[snlee]

Lisa, regarding the tests, I can''t say what I would do in your situation but I think it''s important to ask yourself, what would you decide to do with your pregnancy if you get a positive result?

Thanks for asking about me. I''ve posted a few updates on how I''m doing in the mommies thread (trying to keep the mommy stuff out of the pregnant thread).

 

[neatfreak]

I realized my earlier post makes no sense...I apologize. Believe it or not I am totally wiped. Even though I am on home rest I''m not sleeping well.

 

[snlee]

Date: 10/7/2008 3:34:33 PM
Author: neatfreak
I realized my earlier post makes no sense...I apologize. Believe it or not I am totally wiped. Even though I am on home rest I''m not sleeping well.

It''s all the worrying. The first week after my PTL scare I didn''t sleep much. Try to get naps in and not worry so much (I know it''s difficult). I''m glad nothing has changed and you are home resting.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 10/7/2008 3:37:09 PM
Author: snlee

Date: 10/7/2008 3:34:33 PM

Author: neatfreak

I realized my earlier post makes no sense...I apologize. Believe it or not I am totally wiped. Even though I am on home rest I''m not sleeping well.

It''s all the worrying. The first week after my PTL scare I didn''t sleep much. Try to get naps in and not worry so much (I know it''s difficult). I''m glad nothing has changed and you are home resting.

Thanks Snlee. I''m sure you''re right. I''m trying to be zen about it but it is still scary stuff for sure.

 

[sk8rjen]

NF -- I felt like I was walking on eggshells from the first time I went to the hospital until last week. Now i can''t seem to even BRIBE these girlies to come out

Hope you can get some rest!

Lisa -- yeah, what people say about every pg being different is certainly true isn''t it? My EDD is Nov 5th, so I''m 36 weeks tomorrow...won''t go past the 22nd (38 weeks) though!

Mela -- how funny you asked about middle names...b/c we only have ONE for sure! Marina Lily is definite now, but we are still torn about Sophie''s. DH likes Alana and Amaya and I think if we are going with a Hawaiian type name, it should be *more* Hawaiian, like Luana or even Kiana (my fave). We also both kind of like Jade, but I hate losing the chance to use a hawaiian name if we go that route. We''ve gotten so many great suggestions, but neither of us has really had a "that''s the one!" moment, ya know? DH liked Lily for Marina the best, and since I liked it too, that was easy. I don''t know why Sophie is harder.

Well, today''s appt was more interesting than last weeks since we got to do measurements on the girls -- they are approx 6 and a half pounds each -- woo hoo! no WONDER i am such a blimp! Marina is still head down and Sophie keeps going back and forth from breech to transverse, but my doctor sounded more optimistic about a vag birth today (saying sophie would hopefully flip the rest of the way after i deliver marina -- he didn''t say a WORD about them both needing to be head-down The really super-duper-CRAPPY news is that my doctor FINALLY checked my cervix....only to find that i am about 1cm dilated and only 50% effaced. WAAAAAAAAAAAA! Seriously, ALL of those contractions for practically nothing??? I was SO sad and frustrated that I actually cried after we left the office (gotta love those preggo hormones). I''m all better now since he may have stirred things up a bit down there, and if he didn''t, well then DH did b/c after 2.5 months of no action, we came home and did the deed Not the best ever, but it could have been worse....and if it helps, i''ll do it every day hahaha Okay, sorry for TMI, I should probably go be productive....

ps anyone else curious about our name game, pls read my response to mela...

jen
35w 5d

 

[snlee]

wow jen, i''m impressed! An internal exam AND nookie all in one day!?

LOL

 

[fisherofmengirly]

NYC.!!! Yay for the good news!!!

 

[sk8rjen]

Date: 10/7/2008 4:58:17 PM
Author: snlee
wow jen, i''m impressed! An internal exam AND nookie all in one day!?

LOL

Haha what can I say? Desperate times call for desperate measures

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 10/7/2008 3:34:33 PM
Author: neatfreak
I realized my earlier post makes no sense...I apologize. Believe it or not I am totally wiped. Even though I am on home rest I''m not sleeping well.

NF take it easy lady, you deserve it. Growing those two boys is all the work you need in one day!

As for the numbers, I think I recall you are totally right about all the false positives etc for the screenings (runs about 5-15% depending on whether you have the blood work and u/s or just one or the other, and false positives get higher with maternal age), but the amnio from my understanding is a different story. And I believe it detects 99% of downs and some of the other trisomies, as well as some less common issues. In the end, the only reason to do the tests is if you would terminate based on the results. That''s what my midwife said, the tests aren''t done just for fun

, so ultimately you have to know yourself and what you would do! It''s personal, I totally get why you opted not to do them!

 

[E B]

Yay, NYC! Glad to hear the twins are doing well.

Jen- FWIW, I vote Sophie Kiana. Hope those baby girls get movin'' soon!

 

[nycbkgirl]

Thanks guys for ur support!
Alright jen! Lol..u braver than me..im only 7 wks and I am 2 scared of the nookie lol..dh hasn''t gotten any in 2 months! Lol..but he''s not complaining...yet.

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Speaking of nookie while preggo... I know, I know. I''ve read the articles that it''s safe and fine, but it scares the crud outta me.

Once there''s a little baby growing in me, I won''t be any too excited to do anything that could hurt the little thing.

Also, what''s the deal with having to wait 6 weeks after having a baby before you can get back to business? I''ve always wondered that. I don''t think a lot of people follow that rule, anyway.

 

[sk8rjen]

Date: 10/7/2008 8:21:47 PM
Author: fisherofmengirly
Speaking of nookie while preggo... I know, I know. I''ve read the articles that it''s safe and fine, but it scares the crud outta me.


Once there''s a little baby growing in me, I won''t be any too excited to do anything that could hurt the little thing.


Also, what''s the deal with having to wait 6 weeks after having a baby before you can get back to business? I''ve always wondered that. I don''t think a lot of people follow that rule, anyway.

Well, I can say this much with certainty: MOST people wouldn''t WANT to do it after having a baby! I mean, it was scary to go to the bathroom (both after a section and a vaginal), let alone do anything down there on purpose! Your body goes through a lot giving birth and needs to heal (and correct me if i''m wrong, but there''s a risk of infection since most people get stitches, one way or the other.

Secondly, those first 6 weeks go by in a daze -- between feeding, cleaning, changing, more feeding and then actually TRYING to get some sleep, I -- and everyone I know who has kids -- felt like a zombie for many of the first weeks. So there''s nothing medical about my reply, but I can pretty much assure you it''s a safe bet you won''t *want* to during that time!

NYC -- after you get past the spotting phase, you''ll probably be ok''d to do it again and not feel bad for dh My DH at I got restricted at 26 weeks when we DTD and i started bleeding (yes, again) and went to the hospital. They put me on pelvic rest, but lifted the ban after 2 weeks. Still, my doc told me that intercourse can agitate the cervix and we didn''t want PTL, so we just abstained. We didn''t at all during the first trimester, either, between bleeding, m/s and fatigue. With my big ole belly as it is right now, i don''t feel very attractive or in the mood much, but since it can bring on labor, I''m game

EBree -- thanks for the Kiana vote

jen

 

[LaraOnline]

Hi Jas, snlee and Tacori!

Date: 10/7/2008 1:40:37 PM
Author: Jas12
Also, if 30% of women died during natural childbirth i think at least of few of us PS mommas would be dead now

I wouldn't have had a natural birth if i had nearly a 1 in 3 chance of dying!

Sorry girls, I didn't mean MODERN natural childbirth, with modern medical facilities. lol
I meant truly natural childbirth, like the poor African girls have - as in no assistance at all. 1800's figures!!!

I'm actually pro-natural childbirth. I can see why nurses do push for natural childbirth, and I can see why they deliberately talk up natural childbirth. I'm actually a PERSONAL proponent of natural childbirth, I feel I did the right things for my children, and probably for my own experience-memory-banks by not having drugs.

But I find there is an OTT-ness in the energy in which anti-drug messages are applied to sensitive new mums *sniffs*

. There is nothing intrinsically 'good for the soul' about pain, is there...?

It's a bit like breast-feeding news... breast fed children are 50 IQ points higher blah blah. Again, you can see why the nurses MUST push... the start up for breast feeding can be so darn hard, and if you didn't have some gumption, you wouldn't stick at it. But I fed my first child for the first six months of my second pregnancy - following Breast Feeding Association guidelines - against the advice of my mum and grandma, and what do you know, by the time the second baby was three months old, I was absolutely EXHAUSTED. I felt COMPLETELY depleted.

There is quite a bit of propaganda associated with the midwifery profession, in my opinion, and the opinion of midwives can vary enormously from that of doctors in that profession. There sometimes seems to be an ego and PR battle going on between nurse associations and doctors associations... I think sometimes its easier for less educated staff to be more blase about medical risks. That said, I know for a fact that many measured, experienced midwives are absolute GOLD to the doctors they work with, the nurse who resuscitated Thomas was an absolute legend.

I'm having a whinge now, but I think if I *do* go through with a conventional birth, I will probably go drug free, if I have a choice. I guess there's a possibility that I will *have* to have an epi, in case it all goes pear-shaped and suddenly need a caesar!
Oh well every pregnancy is different.

Anyway, it's great to have a chat!

 

[LaraOnline]

Tacori, that''s interesting that you might have to be induced in future... I guess that''s something they might consider for me, to prevent the baby being a little too big and getting stuck (like the last two times)

Actually, I did like my first general practitioner (who has an interest in birthing mums) but he retired, the sod!

So this time, I''m shooting blind. We don''t seem to have a practice of interviewing our prospective OBs. I''m not going to get a reference to meet him until 20 weeks, for example. He''s basically a name we''ve picked out of a hat. He''s been in the local area a long time, and seems to have a good reputation.

 

[LaraOnline]

Hi Kay, Hi Pandora!

I'm going to flip my psycho personality now Kay, and say good on you for your decision to go vaginally.

Don't be too worried about the outcomes, especially for a first birth. You do recover very quickly!! The tearing was a *big* concern for me, but I found that within three months, it was pretty much a memory, and by six months, a 'funny story' (ahem). I felt literally as good as new!

The second time around, I had an episiotomy against my better judgement. I had a stand-in doctor and he got a little flustered when it was obvious things were not going quite right in the last moments of Thom's birth.

The episiotomy took ages to recover from. In some ways, I felt a bit violated. I guess it took a good year for me to feel that I was truly on the mend. Second anniversary, and I've *almost* forgotten it.... just in time for the third baby! Oh well!

 

[nycbkgirl]

Yes I agree..not feeling like nookie with 2 lil ones inside...very wierd feeling lol...and I don''t think I will ever want to do it while preggers...hey there are other things right (sorry tmi) lol

Jen girl u scaring me with the bleeds and all that im such a panic freak I will go nuts every time it happens but u are experienced in the twin dept so im glad u there for support n advice ...u should never feel un-sexy...u a sexy mama!

 

[Dreamer_D]

I was scared to have sex for the first 2 or 3 weeks after finding out I was preggo, then we did it once and I got over it

Unless you have spotting or something, there''s no worries.

Fisher I think whether you want to do it or not depends on how you feel about sex and your baby etc. My friend said she didn''t want to when she was preggo because she thought the baby was watching! LOL! I feel like the kid might enjoy the ride bouncing around and he or she has no clue what''s going on so who cares! To each their own.... as for the 6 weeks thing, most women I know actually comment that sex in painful after birth. The vaginal walls are thinner, there may be bruising or swelling that takes weeks to heal. Most people I have known have wanted to wait the six weeks, but again, I''m sure this varies.

PSA for the Day: I have discovered a wonderful all-natural cure for the blocked "plumbing" that seems to accompany being pregnant. Prunes. I know, I know, it is not that exciting, but on my friend''s advice I have added 4 prunes to my breakfast meal and for the FIRST TIME in months I have been having normal... well, you know! LOL!! Ahhh sweet relief. I tried high fiber cereals to no avail. But prunes are magic. Go get you some. They are also high in antioxidants!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Lara, is there a friend you can ask for a referral? I *loved* being induced and plan on it every time. That part of my L&D was a very positive experience. My doctor said they don''t induce first time moms until after their EDD but second time moms, no problem. I guess since our body "remembers." So as long as he remembers I plan on 39 weeks next go around.

Fisher...oh Fisher...I laughed when I read your question. I know one crazy girl (she has a c-sec) who couldn''t wait to have sex but most aren''t ready for months (and months). BFing can make it more painful too b/c it dries you up if you know what I mean.

 

[snlee]

Date: 10/7/2008 8:34:02 PM
Author: sk8rjen

Date: 10/7/2008 8:21:47 PM

Author: fisherofmengirly

Speaking of nookie while preggo... I know, I know. I''ve read the articles that it''s safe and fine, but it scares the crud outta me.

Once there''s a little baby growing in me, I won''t be any too excited to do anything that could hurt the little thing.

Also, what''s the deal with having to wait 6 weeks after having a baby before you can get back to business? I''ve always wondered that. I don''t think a lot of people follow that rule, anyway.

Well, I can say this much with certainty: MOST people wouldn''t WANT to do it after having a baby! I mean, it was scary to go to the bathroom (both after a section and a vaginal), let alone do anything down there on purpose! Your body goes through a lot giving birth and needs to heal (and correct me if i''m wrong, but there''s a risk of infection since most people get stitches, one way or the other.

Secondly, those first 6 weeks go by in a daze -- between feeding, cleaning, changing, more feeding and then actually TRYING to get some sleep, I -- and everyone I know who has kids -- felt like a zombie for many of the first weeks. So there''s nothing medical about my reply, but I can pretty much assure you it''s a safe bet you won''t *want* to during that time!

EBree -- thanks for the Kiana vote

jen

DH and I were scared to do the deed early in pregnancy too but we soon got over it. As for doing it after L&D, I have thought about it (we haven''t done it in months since I had a PTL scare and I was going to do it to try and get things going but I was too uncomfortable and I want early anyways). So I''ve thought about it but I''m too tired and scared to try. I''ll be waiting 6+ weeks. DH and I were just talking about it yesterday. I was so scared to pee and poop after L&D and I''ll be just as scared to have sex!

jen, I vote for Kiana too!

 

[LaraOnline]

PSA for day... I will not give birth without knowing that I have packed my little stash of psillium husk in my baby bag.
You can get it at the health food store, or health food section in the supermarket.
1 teaspoon in a glass of water or preferably juice, per day.
It's hard to get used to taking, I guess, but the actual effect is very gentle and natural... gives you that post-birth confidence!
That first trip to the bathroom requires faith... and resolve!!
So if the prunes don't work, try that.

Great for men, to help reduce bad cholesterol, too!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Maybe I am a freak b/c my post baby BM (it did take close to a week) felt 100% normal. No pain at all. And I was a MESS down there! Peeing was my issue but that was b/c of my infection.

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Date: 10/7/2008 9:56:02 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
Lara, is there a friend you can ask for a referral? I *loved* being induced and plan on it every time. That part of my L&D was a very positive experience. My doctor said they don''t induce first time moms until after their EDD but second time moms, no problem. I guess since our body ''remembers.'' So as long as he remembers I plan on 39 weeks next go around.

Fisher...oh Fisher...I laughed when I read your question. I know one crazy girl (she has a c-sec) who couldn''t wait to have sex but most aren''t ready for months (and months). BFing can make it more painful too b/c it dries you up if you know what I mean.

Well, you know, I figure why not ask now before I''m past the point of no return and there really is a baby inside me?

If we don''t do it while preggo (because it really does freak me out, but I guess I could get past that), I''m gonna be sad to have to wait another 6 weeks after having the baby.

But golly, if I rip, tear, or get snipped, I may not feel "right" for (didn''t lara say 2 years for her??) a long time.

Hmph.

I guess it''s a good thing I''m already in love with the baby I''ve not even conceived yet, or I may be rethinking this pregnancy thing.

Hello baby, bye bye sex.

What a trade off!!

 

[LaraOnline]

Hi there Fisher of men,
Hate to freak you out, but you will probably not even know you're pregnant for a good three weeks of your pregnancy!
So your jelly bean will probably be 'keeping you company' when you're loving your man... at least until you take your test!

Personally, I say get it while you can. It's not until you are really big and fat that you start feeling a little silly / careful over it. I mean, you you can just be a little restrained / careful towards the end!!

Afterwards - please, don't get me wrong - I didn't wait two years after the second baby!!
I mean, *that's* how I knew it took so long to get better, IYKWIM. It didn't really affect me in day to day life. I noticed it if I touched myself down there, or sat a little side-on, especially in the first six months.
Hmm, I did feel a bit numb for the first year, which was upsetting, and psychologically it was a bit of a dampener as well, waiting for the 'shards of glass pain' to hit me, out of the blue, mid-moment!!

But, yep, Thomas has just had his second birthday and I guess I'm as good as I'll ever be. Which is *almost* perfect.
First baby though= first stitch-up job = totally back to normal, within three months.

I'm going back for baby number three though (last hurrah for me!) so I guess the episiotomy wasn't a total and absolute disaster as far as my love life is concerned!! I did think about writing a nasty letter to my doctor. But then my husband reminded me that by delivering rapidly, the doc had helped prevent Thomas getting cerebral palsy in the birthing process...

Hubby and I are really looking forward to this bub!

 

[Pandora II]

I'm currently banned from nookie by the hospital - not that I have the slightest inclination whatsoever...

If I'm not feeling nauseaus, I'm shattered. DH and I haven't DTD since the day after conception.

Neither of us are really bothered about it - we're both very physically affectionate with each other and sometimes that is all you really need!

ETA: We just completed on the new house! I am so incredibly happy!

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Yay! Pandora!!!

I''ve been following that in your other thread!

Happy news!!

Enjoy your new house!!!!!