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Do some really like it small?

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stilllookin

Rough_Rock
Joined
Mar 15, 2005
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8
Hi all,
I''''ve been here for a while but this is my first post.
My question to all the women on this forum is simple: Do you really mean it when you say you prefer/like your engagement diamond to be small, i.e. under 1 carats? Or are you saying this out of pride or shame because your friends have big rocks??

My fiancee says that''''s fine but I can''''t help thinking it would embarrass her to show her ring to her collegues who have 1-2 carat rings.

Even though you claim a smaller size looks better, would you secretly love a bigger rock?
 
Hi there and welcome to PriceScope!!

I really think it all boils down to a matter of personal preference. I have a .75 princess that to some would be considered small. I am currently working on an upgrade to over a carat. Don''t get me wrong, I LOVE my diamond. However, I have spent too much time on this site and have developed a full-fleged obsession with diamonds!! So I suffer from Diamond Shrinkage Syndrome. This is rare for the "real world" however, where most women simply love a diamond and the sparkle, but aren''t overly obsessed about it, like we pricescopers are!!!
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Ask her how she feels about it. Remember, just as people change over time, so do tastes and preferences. You can always upgrade later.

Let us know what else you are thinking!!
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It really depends on your fiancee. If she is shy and doesn''t like the attention, then she''ll probably prefer stones under a carat. However, if you have any reason to suspect she might be saying that so she wouldn''t appear greedy, then get her something larger. It really depends on the girl. Where does she work?
 
There are definitely women who truly prefer smaller stones. Hell, i was even reading on another forum (indiebride) how some women actually prefer CZ and have a problem with diamonds or just don't want any stone at all. It's just that here you probably won't find a large number of those women.
 
Thanks for the replies. My fiancee works for a pharmacy. The other day, a co-worker was showing all of us her engagement ring and I overheard two girls walking away laugh at how shamed they would be if their engagement rings were that small, that they would either buy a cz or pretend they weren''t engaged so they didn''t have to show everyone the puny sized ring. I think her diamond looked about 0.50 to about 0.75.
 
Yipes!! I think the two girls who laughed about the size of the ring were VERY ignorant people!!!
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i wouldn''t take what you heard to heart. sounds like pure diamond AND engagement envy. buy what you and your intended want, not what you think other people think you should want.

peace, movie zombie
 
Hi,
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I think it depends on your girlfriend, your financial situation and your gf''s finger size
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. There are tons of pictures on Pricescope of 0.75 carat rings that definitely look like 1 ct stones. So if your girlfriend has really skinny fingers then she might feel like a smaller stone already looks huge on her. Many of my friends are getting much larger rings (about 2x as big) as I am but I know that my bf''s financial situation just doesn''t allow for it. So even if people think I should be "embarassed" I know the ring means much more than the financial part.

Hope this helps
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Give her what you want to, she wants you not a peice of jewlery.
 
Here's something I said in another thread:

"I feel like you just can't please all of the people all of the time. No matter how perfect you try to make something, there is always someone who may criticize it. So the most important thing is to get the setting you love, have your gorgeous sentimental diamond set into it, and tell anyone who criticizes it to go rain on someone else's parade!"

I think it applies to your situation. Get the stone that you and your fiance think is perfect. And tell the ignoramouses of the world to get lost (or something harsher
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). If you look through some of the threads, you will find that there are many critical people in the world who have mocked or disapproved of people's engagement rings. And not just smallish rings, but also medium sized ones, large ones, ornate ones, plain/simple classic ones, ones with sidestones, solitaires, ones with gemstones, ones without gemstones, etc., etc.,etc,...

No matter what you get for your fiancee, there will probably be someone who doesn't like it and may say so to her. No opinion matters except yours and your fiancee's. If she wants less than a carat, then trust that that is what will make her happy.

If it really bothers you, then you can always upgrade later as an anniversary present. You can also find quite a number of pricescopers who upgraded later.
 
I love the look of a simple solitaire. I had a simple solitire of about .6 ct, and I loved it. They have such nice, simple settings now!...But if you get something under a carat and think you might want to upgrade in the future, make sure you buy from someone who has a good upgrade policey, and check that out before you buy......The important thing is to cut a well cut stone...Then , regardless of the size, it will really sparkle...probably more than those bigger rocks her coworkers have!!!!!
 
I agree, the stone is about you and your fiance not anyone else. you also have to look at quality vs. quanity for your buck. I guess which ever is impt. You can''t worry about other people, you will never please them all. If you sell a kidney and get her a 5.0c flawless rock some people will think its fake anyway. you know her best go with your gut.
 
Date: 3/15/2005 10:56:40 PM
Author: ForteKitty
It really depends on your fiancee. If she is shy and doesn''t like the attention, then she''ll probably prefer stones under a carat. However, if you have any reason to suspect she might be saying that so she wouldn''t appear greedy, then get her something larger. It really depends on the girl. Where does she work?
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lately theres been so many FK "type" of questions .
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DF, i knew you were going to say that.
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Date: 3/16/2005 12:32:54 AM
Author: ForteKitty
DF, i knew you were going to say that.
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FK
LOL.....i can''t help it, i''m still in SHOCK.
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I think it depends a lot on your life stage too. My gf and I are just finishing our university degrees, we''re under 25 and only away from home for a year. It would be absurd for me to buy a 1ct+ rock in my position. I''m looking at good quality 0.5 and I know that she will have no problem with that. I believe even if I could afford it she would not be hung up on size.

I read a lot about many women wanting 1ct minimum, but from what I''ve seen as I pay more attention lately, I see few e-rings that look that big. This is a guess, but I think the demographics on this site are probably middle aged people who can afford large stones and who are probably more inclined towards it as evidenced by their membership on this site in the first place! All the women who don''t care as much aren''t reading this forum anyway.

Mark
 
Yes, there are women who honestly don''t want a 1 ct, even if it were offered. My fiance and I can afford one carat easily, but I don''t want it. I wear a 1/3 ct, and 1/2 is the biggest I would want. However, I do have a really cool setting, and an ACA diamond so mine sparkles like crazy, much more than a lot of the "big" diamonds out there.....

The women who made those comments at her work are catty and rude, how dare they!

I prefer a smaller stone, and am not ashamed (!) of that.
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However, most of my friends don''t have "big" rocks, most women I know have .5 or less, and a lot of them have .25 stones. And no one is "ashamed" of their stones. I know I am in the minority on this board, but most people I know consider 1 ct huge, and I''ve travelled and lived all over the US. Honestly, in my real life, I can count on one hand the women I know with even 1 ct stones.

I honestly prefer a smaller diamond- 1/2 ct is my max. My style, preference. I am a conductor/teacher and I play clarinet and guitar, I''m constantly using my fingers and hands. If anyone laughed at me or said I should be ashamed of my ring, then they are a jerk and I wouldn''t want to associate with them anyway.

Don''t get her ring to impress others. You''ll never be satisfied that way. Try not to worry about what they think. Someone is always going to think your ring is too big/small/whatever. Get what you can afford, from the heart, and what suits her, and she will love it no matter what size it is. Your happiness together is all that matters.
 
Thanks to all for your words of encouragement. Here lies the problem though...we have been looking at several online sites and stores for the ring. Whenever she shows me pictures of diamonds, they always look bigger than 1 carat. Her mother's ring is 3 carats and her sister's is 1.75.
At Biddle biddley and banks, I was told that they don't carry a good selection of under a carat and was strongly "encouraged" to go at least one carat. I felt so embarrased asking about .50 to .75 sizes and somehow I ended up putting a 1.28 diamond on hold. I can't afford that but I'm planning to apply for a loan at my bank tomorrow.
I don't think my fiancee will say anything but deep down inside I think she would be disappointed to have a smallish diamond. She is a real down to earth person but like I said, everyone around us seem to have huge rocks!! Plus she is asian and no offense to asian folks out there but they seemed very much into the brand and jewelry stuff.
 
Hello again
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I wanted to comment about the Asian thing. While I have to agree that at least the asian people I know (myself included) like the brand names, we are all about SAVING THE MONEY and not living outside our means. How old is her sister? I'm Chinese and my mom has always told me to be modest about jewelry and ensure that it reflects your age. (ie if you are 25 and wearing some SUPER bling and still struggling to pay off college...it's heavily frowned upon)

Do you think your girlfriend would be happy with the bigger ring if she knew you had to take out a new loan with the bank to pay for it? If you can't afford it don't buy it... or find a way to get an interest-free or low-interest loan for a given amount of time. Appletini's boyfriend is getting a low interest credit card to pay off the ring. (you can search for the ring in "Are We There Yet" if you are interested in this route)

Anyways, in my family the size of jewelry is not a competition and a smaller stone won't be frowned upon if she is the youngest. Plus, a 0.7 stone sounds pretty nice. I think someone posted that the average size for a engagement ring (non-Pricescope of course!) is about 0.5 to 0.7?

PLUS as jennalyns has already pointed out a well-cut stone, though smaller is more impressive than a larger but poor quality stone (in my opinion at least). There are some great vendors listed here on Pricescope that have diamonds less than 1 ct (NiceIce, Whiteflash, Superbert, GoodOldGold...)

Hope this helped!
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EDITED TO ADD:
You can always buy a "branded" diamond and a brand-name setting such as Tacori or Micheal B (do they sell setting separately - not sure) if you are concerned with the brand-name thing.
 
Date: 3/16/2005 1:23:32 AM
Author: stilllookin
Thanks to all for your words of encouragement. Here lies the problem though...we have been looking at several online sites and stores for the ring. Whenever she shows me pictures of diamonds, they always look bigger than 1 carat. Her mother''s ring is 3 carats and her sister''s is 1.75.
At Biddle biddley and banks, I was told that they don''t carry a good selection of under a carat and was strongly ''encouraged'' to go at least one carat. I felt so embarrased asking about .50 to .75 sizes and somehow I ended up putting a 1.28 diamond on hold. I can''t afford that but I''m planning to apply for a loan at my bank tomorrow.
I don''t think my fiancee will say anything but deep down inside I think she would be disappointed to have a smallish diamond. She is a real down to earth person but like I said, everyone around us seem to have huge rocks!! Plus she is asian and no offense to asian folks out there but they seemed very much into the brand and jewelry stuff.
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first of all i''m chinese,i drive a 01 toyota truck alot of friends drive around in their mercedes,lexus,bmw it never bother me at all.i don''t think is smart to get into e-ring debt just buy what you can afford who cares what others think.BBB price are on the high side,have you check with e-vendors here on PS?
 
BBB is really over-priced... i would look elsewhere. What is your budget?
 
Do NOT get a loan to buy a diamond ring!
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I understand about the sentiment and the romance and impressing people but that is just absurd! debt is for emergencies, houses and cars, a diamond ring will not improve your quality of life nor will its size reflect the amount of love you have for her.

I would be absolutely LIVID
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if my love went into debt to buy a luxury item like a diamond.

Choose a pretty ring that is within your means and buy her an upgrade or other jewellry as your quality of life improves.

And many people get engaged with stones other than a diamond, why not choose a less expensive but larger ruby or saphire if size is so important?

Your girlfriend says it is not important and you should take her at her word.
 
It's not an Asian thing, it's an everybody thing. People compare, everyone does it, you may want to deny it or ignore it but it does bother us when people look down on us.

The fact that you put the 1.28 on hold because of embarrasement of asking for smaller stones shows that you care if a small stone will be embarassing compared to others. In the long run I think getting the bigger stone is a better idea even if you do have to go into debt.

You only get engaged once, hopefully, you'll keep the engagement ring forever, the thing about upgrading is that upgrading isn't the same, it doesn't have the same sentimental value as the original ring. An upgrade is another ring, not an engagement ring.

Just splurge, it's not like you buy nice diamonds all the time, what once or twice in your life.

You can get good balance transfer deals, I just got offered 0% for the life of the balance from Discover Card on my 11K credit limit, everyone can get this offer, I'm not special, PM me and I'll let you know how to get it.

I just purchased a 12K ring, can I really afford it, kinda, I could of used the money to pay off the remaining balance of a car that she and I bought together for her. But the diamond is what all girls dream about, that and the wedding and the pride that she will feel when showing of the ring is priceless. And especially if everyone has a big ring, it does make a difference, don't fool yourself and try to be all politically correct. It bothers everybody. Most people who say it doesn't bother them are in denial or already have a big diamond so they can't relate fully.

Good luck and buy big.
 
As mentioned by the many others who posted before me, Yes, some girls do prefer them smaller. E.g. if she works with her hands, is young and it''s too flashy for her age, etc etc etc.

But even if your girlfriend, in her perfectly ideal millionaire world might choose a 2 or 3 carat stone, in the end she wants to wear a ring that says, "my honey gave this to me, we''re in love and getting married and we''re going to spend the rest of our lives together." NOT something that says, "I''m superficial, I was a brat and demanded this and my fiance had to go into DEBT to pay for it."

You''re starting your lives together and there are other more important things you need to spend money on. In the end it''s just a symbol - and the bigger the rock does not mean the greater the love.

If she wants the feeling of wearing something of substantial size on her finger consider a coloured stone. Sapphire, aquamarine, emerald, ruby - check out star sapphires too! They are so beautiful and unique and in so many ways cooler than a diamond
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She''ll love her ring, because you gave it to her. Stick within your budget, and do the best you can with what you can afford. Remember, quality over quantity.

(And don''t forget, most of the people wearing the large diamonds don''t know anything about diamonds, they paid a fortune for a dull boring stone that barely sparkles. Give me a sparkly smaller stone anyday!)
 
Stillookin, you have to do what the two of you are comfortable with. If you feel the need to buy her a larger stone, go for it, if not don''t. Don''t listen to the "never get a loan" or "no debt" people if you''re comfortable and can afford to do it that way. If you''re otherwise careful with your money, what''s the difference between getting a loan for a diamond, which lasts forever, than getting a loan for a car, which doesn''t? You''re right for the most part about the demographics here. Almost everyone I know with larger than 1 ct is over 30, but not everyone. My original e-ring, in 1980 was .46 ct. I now have 1.06 ct and we''re looking at 1.5-2 for our 25th anniversary.

To me, diamonds are like cars, some people choose to drive expensive luxury cars and others choose the no frills subcompacts. And money is not always the reason. I know plenty of people who can afford the luxury car, but are frugal and drive the smaller one and others who can barely afford the expense, but drive a luxury car because they want to. People don''t always make logical choices, but emotional ones abound. This is about you and your fiance, if she wants small, buy her small. If she''s saying, that''s fine, she may be "fine" with it, but really want something larger. You need to go look and try on different sizes and see what she really likes. You''ll be able to tell by the look on her face, as my DH always says about me, he always knows when I''ve found what I want.
 
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Don''t EVER go into debt over a ring!!!! You would regret it, and so would your fiancee I''m betting. I am inclined to take her at her word, that she would prefer a smaller stone. I am in that minority myself. My husband is an MD, and we could afford a pretty big stone if I truly wanted one. But I don''t, so I wear the smaller stones. There are lots of reasons why people like myself like the smaller stones. I think that age factors into it. Many younger women feel that the larger diamonds look like fakes. Also hand size. Smaller hands, or shorter fingers sometimes don''t look as well with monster stones. Priorities play a part, too. If you are young and just starting out, you will be looking to buy home probably, and maybe have some kiddies in the future. Living expenses might dictate how much you want to spend on a ring (two really don''t live as cheaply as one IMO). Lastly, lifestsyle is a big reason to go smaller. If she works with her hands a lot, or works in a profession where "flash" isn''t something that goes over well, she may want something more understated and modest.

I have heaps of rings, some diamond rings and some colored gemstones. Even my gemstone rings have nice quality diamonds in them. I have garnered them over many years. I love having a lot of different jewelry and variety in my wardrobe. If I had a huge 3 carat diamond, I would not be feeling like I could justify the money on other jewelry, nor would I feel like I should be having other things to wear with such a monstrous stone on my finger...lol.
 
I am very certain lots of girls do not care all that much about diamonds and e-rings. From your posts, it sounds like you certainly do. Surely I cannot know what your girl might think of it
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Applying for credit for a ring sounds a bit extreme - but perhaps not all that unusual. If you are hunting for a reasonable bargain, it may pay to show around though. BBB is known as relatively expensive on this forum.

You know the price, of course. As far as I can imagine, a reasonable 1.3 carat round diamond could be head for about 5.5k. Another shape would be less expensive - about 4.5-5k. Is BBB better ?

How about the cost of the setting ? What is the ring going to look like ?
 
Date: 3/16/2005 1:23:32 AM
Author: stilllookin
Thanks to all for your words of encouragement. Here lies the problem though...we have been looking at several online sites and stores for the ring. Whenever she shows me pictures of diamonds, they always look bigger than 1 carat. Her mother''s ring is 3 carats and her sister''s is 1.75.

At Biddle biddley and banks, I was told that they don''t carry a good selection of under a carat and was strongly ''encouraged'' to go at least one carat. I felt so embarrased asking about .50 to .75 sizes and somehow I ended up putting a 1.28 diamond on hold. I can''t afford that but I''m planning to apply for a loan at my bank tomorrow.

I don''t think my fiancee will say anything but deep down inside I think she would be disappointed to have a smallish diamond. She is a real down to earth person but like I said, everyone around us seem to have huge rocks!! Plus she is asian and no offense to asian folks out there but they seemed very much into the brand and jewelry stuff.
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Hi, stillookin!

Hmm, I think that you need to take a step back. You just put a hold on a ring that you can''t really afford because you felt pressured to do so. I think that''s a bad thing. I''m definitely one of the dissenting minority in that I don''t really think going into debt over a ring is irresponsible if you know what you''re getting into and you''re realistic about your financial situation, but I think that in your situation this smells of being pressured into something you didn''t want to do.

I also think that if you don''t have a lot of money, then buying a diamond at Bailey, Banks and Biddle is probably not the most economical way to get a lovely diamond. I think your siutation is better suited to buying from one of the Pricescope dealers, where you''ll save a lot of money and even probably get a superior looking diamond. Or else with the same amount of money, you can get a BIGGER diamond, which seems to be your concern, anyway.
 
I''m not trying to be snotty, but it really surprises me that some people would encourage someone to take out a loan or go into debt over a diamond! If I were a guy, I would not even want to propose to a woman who might be disappointed in the size of the diamond I gave her, or be ashamed or embarassed of it in front of her friends and family. How shallow is that? And why would anyone want to be engaged to or marry someone who''s only concern was the size of the diamond and the amount of money spent? A bigger or more expensive stone doesn''t mean "I love you more" or "you are more special" than a smaller one. I''m willing to bet the bank that the biggest majority of people''s first diamond was under one carat. Even those ladies here on PS that are sporting huge honkers. In the real world, most people who are getting engaged, especially for the first time, can''t afford it. Upgrading is always an option, or just buy her more jewelry over the years.

Not to be a killjoy, but there is another thing to consider. In the real world, there is a pretty high divorce rate. I am one of the unfortunate statistics myself. Unfortunately, there is always a chance that a guy can go out and put himself into major debt over a diamond for a lady who will later break the engagement or divorce him in a handfull of years anyway. There is no way you can be sure of getting your investment back under those circumstances. I know that sounds terrible, but it''s the real world. It might be better to consider buying something for her that is nice and something you can afford. Later you can always buy her a bigger diamond, like as a wedding gift or an anniversary gift.

I''ve never been able to figure out the allure of a woman who would place more emphasis on the size of a diamond over the size of the heart of the man who gives it to her.
 
Forget going into debt. Be sensible. My prudent husband and I have just closed on a $1.5m Manhattan apartment, while our 2-4 carat chums are still renting...

I mean, is it really worth getting into debt for you just to prove -- and let''s be honest about here -- that you''re wealthier than you are because your other half is flaunting a big rock?
 
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