emotional help, please...

[galvana]

Meresal
I''m really glad this is close to being a thing of the past for you and FI. i think you are doing the right thing.
You know your FI better than any of us, you dont NEED to see the texts, you trust him and you guys will move past this and learn from it.

I''m happy for you and im glad for both of you that you got through this together............

Lets move on from this thread and talk about a happy step in t\your wedding planning.....how many days do you have left?
im under 70 - i think !??!?!?!?

 

[GoodSoul]

It takes a strong woman to share what you have shared and take in all the responses so far. I didn''t read the whole thread when I first posted. I just wanted to say that I agree with Bliss''s post totally and Sparkalicious and lucyandroger posts as well. From your responses, it''s good know that you have it figured out and is working out with your FI.

Stay strong and wish you guys the best.

 

[loriken214]

All the best to you and FI Meresal.....you''re very brave for posting this here and for listening to all of the many responses. You''re dearly loved on PS and I, for one, am glad that things are much better and you can look forward to your wedding!

Much love and peace to you both!

Lori

 

[doodle]

You know, I''ve been thinking about this thing on and off the whole day, and it dawned on me that had I been in your shoes (and God knows I wish I could be in the literal sense because they''re really FAB shoes, but I digress), I would''ve had to read the messages, but for all the wrong reasons--sheer nosiness really wouldn''t be a good reason to get all up in my DH''s business, so I really need to get over my over-curiosity about things! You''re marrying this guy, and in doing so, obviously there should be a foundation of trust in the relationship. Trusting someone, however, doesn''t mean that you expect him to be perfect all the time--at some point, everyone lets everyone down, so forgiveness is just as important to make a relationship work. I think it''s wonderful that you and your FI are working things out and are learning from this experience, and I hope your relationship will be stronger, more honest, and even more trusting in the long run as a result. Best wishes to you both for a long, happy marriage full of love, understanding, and a mutual dedication to always solving problems TOGETHER!

 

[House Cat]

Date: 5/5/2009 11:45:53 PM
Author: doodle
You''re marrying this guy, and in doing so, obviously there should be a foundation of trust in the relationship. Trusting someone, however, doesn''t mean that you expect him to be perfect all the time--at some point, everyone lets everyone down, so forgiveness is just as important to make a relationship work. I think it''s wonderful that you and your FI are working things out and are learning from this experience, and I hope your relationship will be stronger, more honest, and even more trusting in the long run as a result. Best wishes to you both for a long, happy marriage full of love, understanding, and a mutual dedication to always solving problems TOGETHER!

DITTO!!

Growth in a relationship is never easy and the things that usually spark the largest amount of growth, rarely ever feel good at the time. You have been brave to share, trust, and forgive. It would have been much easier to remain suspicious, to blame, and to hold a grudge. I guess I''m saying, you''ve done good girl! Hopefully you can move on to the joy of wedding planning and the bliss of the marriage itself.

 

[HollyS]

Date: 5/5/2009 6:05:24 PM
Author: CellarDoor
So, you're not going to look at the texts?

Let's see here, he gets home, confesses a tiny bit about some girl he met. You find out that he is lying about the extent of their communication, and then he confesses a bit more. You ask one of his friend's GF's what happened, she told you about the strip club, you confront him with this, then he confesses to that. He has not been forthcoming with the truth, you have had to find out things on your own and then he admits to them. If nothing happened, then he should be coming to you with the printed texts to prove his innocence. He shouldn't be deleting the texts from his phone.

Do you think that you aren't going to look at the texts because you are scared what they might say? I am pretty sure that I know what you are talking about when you say that there are certain things that he refrains from doing when he is away so that he can prove to you that he hasn't cheated. Why would that even need to be done? I wasn't aware that the volume of fluid emission was a standard by which to determine whether or not an infidelity had occured.

Maybe he didn't cheat, I don't know, but I know that I would seriously consider calling off my wedding if something like this happened at my FI's bachelor party.

Finally. Someone has pinned the tail on this donkey.

No one wants to hurt your feelngs. No one wants you to be in this position. But, you asked for help, opinions, etc., so I'm going to be blunt and brief. If nothing at all happened, his reaction was way too over the top. Your gut instinct told you a different story.

 

[Dannielle]

Date: 5/5/2009 11:45:53 PM
Author: doodle
You know, I''ve been thinking about this thing on and off the whole day, and it dawned on me that had I been in your shoes (and God knows I wish I could be in the literal sense because they''re really FAB shoes, but I digress), I would''ve had to read the messages, but for all the wrong reasons--sheer nosiness really wouldn''t be a good reason to get all up in my DH''s business, so I really need to get over my over-curiosity about things! You''re marrying this guy, and in doing so, obviously there should be a foundation of trust in the relationship. Trusting someone, however, doesn''t mean that you expect him to be perfect all the time--at some point, everyone lets everyone down, so forgiveness is just as important to make a relationship work. I think it''s wonderful that you and your FI are working things out and are learning from this experience, and I hope your relationship will be stronger, more honest, and even more trusting in the long run as a result. Best wishes to you both for a long, happy marriage full of love, understanding, and a mutual dedication to always solving problems TOGETHER!

You said this really well, and I couldn''t agree more.

Only you and your FI know the insides of your relationship- no one here can pass judgment on what you or he do/don''t do.

 

[ice-queen]

Things happen in EVERY relationship- and honestly, anyone who thinks their bf/fi/dh has never even flirted with another woman is either (a)incredibly naive or (b)crazy...so Meresal: while some innocent texting and possibly flirting is somewhat hurtful, it is ultimately not much cause for concern (as long as it isn't a constant thing... which, in this case, it isn't). I can see that some of the posts have gone in a direction that probably made you very wary of posting this situation in the first place, which has then made you feel that you have to "defend" your relationship (which is what you, most likely, didn't want to have to do)... so I hope people will realize that you have decided how to deal with this, and that is that. For what it's worth, I think you have dealt with this in a very mature way, and I would almost guarantee that your fiance will not be making the same mistake again!

 

[Clairitek]

Meresal- You are such a graceful lady. Someone I''d like to think would be a friend of mine if we ever cross paths. I admire your strength to ask for advice, think things over, and then act as you saw fit. I''m so sorry that this situation happened but I am glad to hear that it was a sort of "reset" button on your relationship and that you two are blissfully happy now that the drama has subsided.

 

[allycat0303]

meresal,

I am so sorry I didn`t see this before!

First off, I want to give you a big hugs for what you went through. You must have been FREAKING out! And honestly, I REALLY think it''s better to vent here then with family and friends, because you''re fiance is NOT a bad guy. And not everyone needs to know about this very human mistake.

Honestly, I think I would have handled it almost the same way. Look it`s bad, it`s not his best moment, but you guys have xyz number of years invested in each other and a wedding coming up. This is not a dealbreaker to me. This is *sleep in the dog house for A LOOONG time* thing for me. Obviously, there will be trust issues i.e that will come up as this situation unfolds, but you''ll deal with them as they come. It`s a test of your relationship. This is probably not the worst thing that will happen to you in your 50+ (we hope!) year marriage. There will be others, perhaps even worst.

And you get no judgement from me on what you decide! I think relationships translate very poorly over the net. You KNOW your guy, you KNOW your relationship. If you say he didn`t cheat, then he didn`t. Take the time, be with him, figure it all out. I think marriage is about protecting your relationship, and maybe there`s a little something that`s not 100%, i.e too much stress wedding planning, drunkeness, anxiety, life changes, it''s a lot.

All of us that are in relationships have had ups and downs. A lot of times, online, the responders think ''''oh my gosh I''d be done with that'''' but it''s not like that. It''s not always black and white. There''s more to a relationship then 1 night, 2 nights, or even a few months. It''s the relationship as a whole that consists of a million moments. So I know you''ll work it out.

Thinking of you, and vent whenever you want, we''re here for you,

Ally

 

[meresal]

Thanks again ladies. I really appreciate that you have all taken the time to help me.
GoodSoul, loriken- Thank you.
doodle- Thank you for posting that, and to everyone that followed.
HollyS, I understand where you are coming from. It looks like I'm making excuses for him, and to some extent I probably am. However, in my last post, I did state that this is not something I am willing to leave over, so I don't see a point in putting myself thru it. Also, if I have told hm that I believe him... then what good is my word in the future, if I still go to check. Trust means not needing to know ALL the answers, and I am confident that I know enough. Thank you for checking back though!
ice-queen: Thank you very much. I don't mind defending my relationship. It's hard to express everything online. I have thought about pulling this thread, just becuase it reminds me of how I felt, but I have just chosen not to go back and read the first page. It helps to have somewhere to outlet. Thank you again.
Clairitek- Blissfully happy at times... would be correct.

I'm still having spurts of anxiety, but they are becoming fewer. I would love to think that we would get along well in real life! (My apologies for not setting up the weight loss thread yet this month, it's been a rough first week)

ETA:
Ally- Thank you for posting. I know you recently went thru sharing an emotional time for you and your FI on here, and didn't follow what a majority of the class responded. I can see how hard it is, but like you said you have to go with what you know. After all, you are the one in the relationship. Thanks again and congratulations on your acceptance!! Has it hit yet?

 

[meresal]

Date: 5/5/2009 8:37:36 PM
Author: iloveprincesscuts
Meresal
I'm really glad this is close to being a thing of the past for you and FI. i think you are doing the right thing.
You know your FI better than any of us, you dont NEED to see the texts, you trust him and you guys will move past this and learn from it.

I'm happy for you and im glad for both of you that you got through this together............

Lets move on from this thread and talk about a happy step in tyour wedding planning.....how many days do you have left?
im under 70 - i think !??!?!?!?

We're at 80 days today, and have 11.43 weeks left

... and soooo much to do this week!

 

[LadyBlue]

Hi Meresal, I had been reading about your story since the begining. I totally agree with you, no body likes her BF, FI or DH texting, flirting, or even looking other woman

. I''m sure in the begining you were shock about the whole situation. But I''m sure no body knows your FI better than you, I''m sure if he had done something wrong, you would feel that, but you are not, that means, what happen was just you FI crossing a little bit the line of your comfort. I''m glad that now he knows what can make you feel hurt and uncomfortable and I''m sure he will not do this again. This was a great opportunity to set a boundary and move forward.
Wish you the best, and enjoy your last days of a single women

 

[motownmama]

Good luck with the last 79 days!!!!!!!!!

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

Hi Meresal! I've read through this whole post and haven't been on a lot in the past few days. But I just wanted to pipe in and say that, even as sorry as I am that you had to go through this, I'm glad you've both been able to work through it. And most of all I applaud you both for doing to together and openly. As Clairitek said, you seem to be very graceful, tactful, and pointed. You've handled this situation as best as you could. Most people would freak out in this situation and probably do things irrationally. So take comfort in knowing that you did what's best for you and your FI.

And good luck in the upcoming 79 days! Have you picked up your dress yet? I seem to remember that being in May. Here's to hoping that is as hiccup-free as possible!!!

 

[meresal]

Date: 5/7/2009 4:09:33 PM
Author: luvthemstrawberries
Hi Meresal! I've read through this whole post and haven't been on a lot in the past few days. But I just wanted to pipe in and say that, even as sorry as I am that you had to go through this, I'm glad you've both been able to work through it. And most of all I applaud you both for doing to together and openly. As Clairitek said, you seem to be very graceful, tactful, and pointed. You've handled this situation as best as you could. Most people would freak out in this situation and probably do things irrationally. So take comfort in knowing that you did what's best for you and your FI.

And good luck in the upcoming 79 days! Have you picked up your dress yet? I seem to remember that being in May. Here's to hoping that is as hiccup-free as possible!!!

Hey ladies... things are getting better. I'm fine when I'm home, I'm fine when I'm around C, but the minute I leave for work, till the moment I leave my desk, I am driving myself crazy. Everyday is better, and FI has been really good about talking about everything when I need to, which has been about once or twice a day so far. We're moving along, but moving forward none the less. I go home for 4 days this weekend, and it will be really good to be back around my friends again. I shared everything with my MOH today, and she told me bluntly, everything I needed to hear. So, here's to a full weekend of wedding planning that REALLY needs to get done.

ILTS- Thank you for taking the time to read thru the thread. My mom is going into the store tomorrow to check out the dress/alterations, and then I go in on Saturday to make sure everything is right. Fingers crossed, right? I'll be sure to let everyone know how it goes. After last time, I couldn't imagine it could be worse. Thanks for thinking of me!!

 

[loriken214]

Date: 5/7/2009 7:04:20 PM
Author: meresal

Date: 5/7/2009 4:09:33 PM
Author: luvthemstrawberries
Hi Meresal! I''ve read through this whole post and haven''t been on a lot in the past few days. But I just wanted to pipe in and say that, even as sorry as I am that you had to go through this, I''m glad you''ve both been able to work through it. And most of all I applaud you both for doing to together and openly. As Clairitek said, you seem to be very graceful, tactful, and pointed. You''ve handled this situation as best as you could. Most people would freak out in this situation and probably do things irrationally. So take comfort in knowing that you did what''s best for you and your FI.

And good luck in the upcoming 79 days! Have you picked up your dress yet? I seem to remember that being in May. Here''s to hoping that is as hiccup-free as possible!!!

Hey ladies... things are getting better. I''m fine when I''m home, I''m fine when I''m around C, but the minute I leave for work, till the moment I leave my desk, I am driving myself crazy. Everyday is better, and FI has been really good about talking about everything when I need to, which has been about once or twice a day so far. We''re moving along, but moving forward none the less. I go home for 4 days this weekend, and it will be really good to be back around my friends again. I shared everything with my MOH today, and she told me bluntly, everything I needed to hear. So, here''s to a full weekend of wedding planning that REALLY needs to get done.

ILTS- Thank you for taking the time to read thru the thread. My mom is going into the store tomorrow to check out the dress/alterations, and then I go in on Saturday to make sure everything is right. Fingers crossed, right? I''ll be sure to let everyone know how it goes. After last time, I couldn''t imagine it could be worse. Thanks for thinking of me!!

Hi Meresal!

I''m SO glad to hear that you will be going home for a long weekend. I think that is just what is needed right now. Take one day at a time and please try not to let things overwhelm you...there''s lots to do.

Best of luck with your dress....

Lori

 

[bee*]

Enjoy your weekend!! Have a great time at home!

 

[meresal]

Date: 5/8/2009 5:03:43 AM
Author: bee*
Enjoy your weekend!! Have a great time at home!

Thank you bee*. I had an incredible weekend at home, and it is exactly what I needed. The Bridal pictures went amazing and I can't wait to see them!!

I just thought I would share an update:
So, I got home yesterday morning, went straight to work, and then met with one of my BM's for happy hour before heading home to see FI for the first time in 4 days. Since I hadn't spoken with my BM about the situation, we talked about it for about 30 minutes and just kind of updated her on everything. It went well. I got home around 8:30 and everything was great.
I got changed and we went to the bar to watch the Rockets game. I had about 4 glasses of wine at happy hour and 1 beer with FI, and on the way home everything came out again. I'm not completely sure how it happened, but I think C started talking about his brohter, and I made a rude comment about him.

I don't think I told you all (If I did, I apologize), but I found a text message last Wednesday from FI's brother, while on the Bachelor Party trip, that said, "You should call that girl and take her out." We have no idea what the context was, I am obviously assuming the worst, but FI didn't even so much as reply to his brother's text, which is a good thing. This is what I can't get out of my mind, and what we got into a HUGE fight over last night. His brother is a complete idiot and is also FI's best man, which means he'll be standing at the front of our wedding.
A "boy", who tried to get my FI to take another girl out, will be standing at the front of our wedding. It boils my blood.

I woke up this morning and feel absolutely horrible about what happened. I know the only reason things got the way they did, was because of my alcohol consumption, or we could have just had a rational converstaion about it. Completely my fault and I have apologized over 20 times just this morning because of the way things went down.
With that said though, I am very glad that I was able to tell FI how I was feeling. He told me that he confronted his brother about it, and suggested he apologize to me and him about what he did, but his brother just mumbled something under his breath and walked away. Yah, real stand up guy this one is. I told FI last night, that I'm not sure I want to confront him. FI told me that if I felt I needed an apology then I was more than welcome to call, text, or email his brother. He understands how hurt it must make me and says I should go after it, if it's going to eat away at me. Although, I almost think it's better to just move past it. I'm conflicted about how "big" of a deal this really is to me.

Thanks for reading everyone. It has been a blessing to have you all here. I feel like it's time to stop talking about it with C, so it's great to have an outlet. Thank you.

ETA: The only reason I feel like I don't want to ask for an apology, is becuase the relationship with FI's mom has been a rough one in the past and we are finally getting along. C's brother, who is the youngest, is treated like a baby by their mother. I can only imagine how me asking for an apology would be twisted and repeated to his mom. Not only will it not take away what was said, it could cause serious problems with his family.

 

[Clairitek]

OMG. My blood is boiling for you right now!!!

What his brother did is beyond inexcusable! Why would his little brother EVER think that your FI would be interested in taking out another girl? Do you even know who this girl is that he is referring to?

I''m so sorry this problem is rearing its head again Meresal. I hope you can find some peace with this soon... and answers.

 

[Lanie]

Meresal,

Wow. That would make me PISSED.

Was the bachelorette girl from Texas or was she from Chicago?

Is it possible his brother is trying to get your FI in "trouble" with you? Like in a snarky way? That sucks if he is. Well, what he''s doing sucks anyway.

 

[decodelighted]

Oh I''d be livid. Starting to be glad DH is an only child!

But here''s my other thought -- I don''t think the "why don''t you take that girl out" had to do with you. Hear me out. I think it would have happened no matter who your FI was marrying. His brother doesn''t want your FI to grow up -- he wants him to stay as much like him (the baby) as possible -- so he won''t be "left behind" or be forced to grow up himself or look foolish. Yanno?

I agree it WAS DISRESPECTFUL to you. And he really should apologize. But is asking for an apology ever really satisfactory? If someone is genuinely sorry, wouldn''t they initiate an apology themselves. I doubt this guy will be "genuninely sorry" and you''d leave just as peeved as you were to begin with. If anyone is to deal with the brother it should be your FI. It would be great if he would require the apology in order to continue being his Best Man ... standing up for a couple means supporting them in their union. Something his brother is NOT DOING. Have you told your FI that you''re uncomfortable having him as the best man when he''s actively sabotaging your relationship? That sounds reasonable to me.

 

[NakedFinger]

Date: 5/13/2009 10:25:17 AM
Author: Clairitek
OMG. My blood is boiling for you right now!!!

What his brother did is beyond inexcusable! Why would his little brother EVER think that your FI would be interested in taking out another girl? Do you even know who this girl is that he is referring to?

I''m so sorry this problem is rearing its head again Meresal. I hope you can find some peace with this soon... and answers.

I''m sorry mere- but this is what I was thinking too. My bf doesnt drink, or go out with his friends without me (unless its to golf/fish lol), doesnt flirt with girls/act up, would rather be home with me then anywhere else, and ALL OF HIS FRIENDS KNOW THIS. None of them would even bother asking him to go out, or tell him to check out a girl walking past him, or hit on a girl, etc. They know they are wasting their time (maybe when we first started dating and they didnt know how serious we were, but definitely not now). So the fact that his brother was saying "you should call that girl and take her out", would lead me to believe that is behavior his brother expects from you FI.

Now I am not saying that is the case, but it would definitely make me think that and raise a caution flag. It could just be his brother being a jerk, and messing with your FI''s head. But I would think as his Best Man, he would know how much your FI loves you and would NEVER do something like that. So why would he even bother saying that to you FI you know?

Grrr i give you credit, I would have smacked your FBIL around a bit!

 

[Kelli]

I''d be pretty pissed about that too! What a jerk! Unfortuinately, it doesn''t seem like you can do much about your FI''s brother. He needs to grow up on his own. But the whole situation would frustrate me to no end. I''m sorry you have to deal with that.

 

[princesss]

Date: 5/13/2009 10:56:03 AM
Author: NakedFinger

Date: 5/13/2009 10:25:17 AM
Author: Clairitek
OMG. My blood is boiling for you right now!!!

What his brother did is beyond inexcusable! Why would his little brother EVER think that your FI would be interested in taking out another girl? Do you even know who this girl is that he is referring to?

I''m so sorry this problem is rearing its head again Meresal. I hope you can find some peace with this soon... and answers.

I''m sorry mere- but this is what I was thinking too. My bf doesnt drink, or go out with his friends without me (unless its to golf/fish lol), doesnt flirt with girls/act up, would rather be home with me then anywhere else, and ALL OF HIS FRIENDS KNOW THIS. None of them would even bother asking him to go out, or tell him to check out a girl walking past him, or hit on a girl, etc. They know they are wasting their time (maybe when we first started dating and they didnt know how serious we were, but definitely not now). So the fact that his brother was saying ''you should call that girl and take her out'', would lead me to believe that is behavior his brother expects from you FI.

Now I am not saying that is the case, but it would definitely make me think that and raise a caution flag. It could just be his brother being a jerk, and messing with your FI''s head. But I would think as his Best Man, he would know how much your FI loves you and would NEVER do something like that. So why would he even bother saying that to you FI you know?

Grrr i give you credit, I would have smacked your FBIL around a bit!

See, I disagree with NF. I don''t think your FI has necessarily given his brother a reason to think he''d take the girl out. I think either the brother wanted to take the girl out himself, or sees marriage as something that takes away the "thrill" of the chase and the "fun" part of life. He probably hasn''t been in a relationship where you share the commitment and love that you share with your FI, Mere. He probably also thinks that you''re "supposed" to go crazy at a b-party, and he sees his stick in the mud brother refusing to do anything "fun" and is blaming it on you, when it''s your FI valuing your relationship like any sane guy would.

Some of my BF''s friends are the same way. They think if you''re not married, you get to play the field all you want, GF or no GF. Even knowing he''d never do anything, they encourage him to try if a hot girl shows interest in him. He knows I don''t approve of these friends, and doesn''t really spend time with them, but it doesn''t stop them from making comments on the rare occasions they do hang out.

I think the brother''s comment is more a reflection of what he would do or what he wants to do, rather than a reflection of what he expects Mere''s FI to do.

 

[meresal]

Clairitek- His brother was referring to a bachelorette that they might the night before at the club. Yes, the girl that he's talking about is also getting married. C has been telling me to stop listening to the voices in my head. They make me unhappy

Lanie- The girl is from Chicago, and she has not contacted FI since that first night. Everything is fine on that front.

Date: 5/13/2009 10:47:39 AM
Author: decodelighted
Oh I'd be livid. Starting to be glad DH is an only child!

But here's my other thought -- I don't think the 'why don't you take that girl out' had to do with you. Hear me out. I think it would have happened no matter who your FI was marrying. His brother doesn't want your FI to grow up -- he wants him to stay as much like him (the baby) as possible -- so he won't be 'left behind' or be forced to grow up himself or look foolish. Yanno?

I agree it WAS DISRESPECTFUL to you. And he really should apologize. But is asking for an apology ever really satisfactory? If someone is genuinely sorry, wouldn't they initiate an apology themselves. I doubt this guy will be 'genuninely sorry' and you'd leave just as peeved as you were to begin with. If anyone is to deal with the brother it should be your FI. It would be great if he would require the apology in order to continue being his Best Man ... standing up for a couple means supporting them in their union. Something his brother is NOT DOING. Have you told your FI that you're uncomfortable having him as the best man when he's actively sabotaging your relationship? That sounds reasonable to me.

Deco, it's like you're typing the thoughts in my head. I know it won't be sincere, and his family will think I am overreacting. I know I will end up even more pissed that he wasn't sincere, and hate knowing I had to drag it out of him, instead of him coming forward. He's a 23 yr old d-bag, that is a womanizer, he's not sorry... if I'm honest with myself, then yes, I know this would have happened no matter who FI was going to marry. It was nothing personal, just his brother doing what he thinks is "supposed" to be done at a bachelor party.
He does want C to stay like him, and though he has good moments, he doesn't want him to get married. It's crazy but it's like the entire family doesn't realize the FI is freaking 27 years old!! I moved across the state for him, we'd been living together for over a year, and they were STILL shocked when we got engaged. Yes, Shocked!
I worry about dangling the "to continue being the best man, you must apologize" because his mom will make it out to be an overreaction. They have this really awesome way to telling people how they are supposed to feel about things. They do it to FI and I hate it

They will say exactly what you did, "He was jsut joking and it wasn't anything personal."

 

[lliang_chi]

Your FI should be the one that talks to his brother and his mom. What I would do is basically a "Shame on you" kind of tact. FI should just state to them that his brother''s behavior was unacceptable. As the Best Man, his brother should be supporting BOTH members of the couple, and his remark showed that he wasn''t . Don''t dangle anything, don''t demand anything. Just state the facts. Brother said a dousshey comment that was counter to what his duties are as the Best Man. It was disappointing and FI just wants to point out the behavior to him.

 

[mrscushion]

meresal, I''m sorry. FI''s brother sounds like a real jerk. I don''t think his text reflects on your FI at all, just on himself.

That said, I hear you when you say you''re nervous about risking the shaky peace with FMIL. I''d feel the same way and for that reason I''d probably let it pass without asking FBIL for an apology. Also, knowing that your FI agrees with you on the issue would also make me feel a whole lot better about it.

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

Ugh, haha isn't it amazing how we can't just get away from immaturity and drama??? Sigh...

Sorry you're having to deal with stupid boy. I'd be annoyed too. Deco has a good point about apologies though - doesn't do too much good if it's not naturally from someone. I also understand where you're coming from about fracturing things further with the FMIL.

My FI's sisters are in their 40s and can't (read: won't) get their maturity together - either they act like he's still a child, or they talk about him/us behind closed doors while putting on nice smiley faces in public. I can't stand two-faced people.

On a brighter note, since you didn't mention any trouble with the dress, I'm assuming it was done correctly and on time?? If so, I'm glad everything went so well for you over the weekend! I'm glad you and FI are at a good point now too.

Can't wait to see the photos!!!!

 

[CellarDoor]

Give me a break, you are the one who is creating all of the drama. Something doesn''t add up about this bachelor party and you are blaming all of your fiance''s friends and his brother rather than pushing him to find out what really happened.

I would be LIVID if my fiance met up with another girl while he was out of town and got her phone number and sent her 30 text messages over the weekend because his intention was to meet up with her again. That is unacceptable in my relationship. I wouldn''t care if my fiance gave me some lame excuse that he was getting attention from his friends and that is why he did it. Maybe the two of you have an open relationship, but for some reason, I seriously doubt that.

So now you want an apology from his brother for some text message that you went snooping through his phone to find? Do you want your fiance to completely severe ties with his family or what? If you are choosing to trust your fiance about the bachelor party weekend then you need to drop it.