Got any jokes?

[kenny]

LOL

 

[kenny]

Rod Stewart's looking well these days.

 

[kenny]

 

[missy]

 

[Rockdiamond]

 

[kenny]

 

[kenny]

 

[kenny]

 

[kenny]

 

[missy]

 

[missy]

 

[kenny]

 

[Rockdiamond]

Yogi Berra Explains Jazz:

Interviewer: Can you explain jazz?

Yogi: I can't, but I will. 90% of all jazz is half improvisation. The other half is the part people play while others are playing something they never played with anyone who played that part. So if you play the wrong part, its right. If you play the right part, it might be right if you play it wrong enough. But if you play it too right, it's wrong.

Interviewer: I don't understand.
Yogi: Anyone who understands jazz knows that you can't understand it. It's too complicated. That's what's so simple about it.

Interviewer: Do you understand it?
Yogi: No. That's why I can explain it. If I understood it, I wouldn't know anything about it.

Interviewer: Are there any great jazz players alive today?
Yogi: No. All the great jazz players alive today are dead. Except for the ones that are still alive. But so many of them are dead, that the ones that are still alive are dying to be like the ones that are dead. Some would kill for it.

Interviewer: What is syncopation?
Yogi: That's when the note that you should hear now happens either before or after you hear it. In jazz, you don't hear notes when they happen because that would be some other type of music. Other types of music can be jazz, but only if they're the same as something different from those other kinds.

Interviewer: Now I really don't understand.
Yogi: I haven't taught you enough for you to not understand jazz that well.

 

[kenny]

 

[missy]

 

[missy]

 

[missy]

 

[kenny]

 

[kenny]

Brilliant illustration of America's latest fusktercluck.

 

[kenny]

My new sweater was picking up so much static electricity I had to return for another one, which was of course free of charge.

Did you hear about the non-binary gold prospector?
They found gold in them their hills.



I took my grandpa to one of those spas where fish eat away all the dead tissue.
It cost a lot and took a long time, but it was still cheaper than cremation.



‘Doctor, doctor! I have five penises!’
Dr. asks, ‘So, how do you pants fit?’
‘Like a glove.’



Why is the trans man a Vegan?
Because he was a her before.

 

[Garnetgirl]

I didn't think the chiropractor would improve my posture. But I stand corrected.

 

[Garnetgirl]

An invisible man married an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

 

[Garnetgirl]

Studies show cows produce more milk when the farmer talks to them. It's a case of in one ear and out the udder.

 

[Garnetgirl]

My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. I found out she was seeing someone on the side.

 

[Garnetgirl]

I told my carpenter I didn't want carpeted steps. He gave me a blank stair.

 

[Garnetgirl]

What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up his own incision? Suture self.

 

[Garnetgirl]

Getting another set of teeth would be much more useful at 60 than at age 6.

 

[Garnetgirl]

“The starting pay is $40,000. Later it can go up to $80,000.”

“Great, I’ll start later.”

 

[Garnetgirl]

Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision.

 

[Garnetgirl]

Trust science. Studies show that if your parents didn’t have children there’s a high probability you won’t either.