Got any jokes?

[kenny]

This reminds me of you and me.

When old enough, we're merely maggot food and fertilizer for plants.
I'd call that eternal life, that requires no "faith".

Praise nature!
Praise what's provably true!

 

[Kim N]

 

[Kim N]

 

[missy]

This reminds me of you and me.

When old enough, we're merely maggot food and fertilizer for plants.
I'd call that eternal life, that requires no "faith".

Praise nature!
Praise what's provably true!

100% agree.

" Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away."

 

[kenny]

 

[kenny]

 

[missy]

 

[missy]

 

[missy]

 

[kenny]

 

[missy]

 

[missy]

 

[missy]

This is for @marcy

 

[marcy]

This is for @marcy

That is spot on. Like the meme I posted on FB - all those things we said we’d do when h*ll freezes over, we’re doing tomorrow.

 

[missy]

 

[missy]

LOL my butt

 

[kenny]

 

[kenny]

 

[kenny]

Had my prostate checked today. The doctor said everything was fine.
I was deeply touched.
___________________________

All through dinner my wife's best friend's four-year-old daughter stared at me.
The girl never took here eyes off me.

I checked my shirt for drips, felt my teeth for food, and patted my hair in place, but she just kept staring.
Finally I asked her, "Why are you staring at me?"

The table went quiet.
Finally the little girl said, "I'm just waiting to see how you drink like a fish."

 

[kenny]

My cousin called and asked if I would loan her $300.00 to help her pay her rent.

I told her to give me some time to think about it and I would call her back.

Before I called her back, my aunt called, told me that my cousin was lying and not to give her the money.

She goes on to say that the real reason my cousin wanted the $300.00, was to get her boyfriend out of jail, so “they could be together for his birthday”.
I was mad when I heard that, but I thought about it for minute, and decided to give her the $300.00, because we all need help at times.

Later, I got a call from the Correctional Facility. It was my cousin crying, asking why I gave her counterfeit money.

I said, “So you two could be together for his birthday!”

_______________________


"Hey George, do you know where I can get a toupee?"

George, "Not off the top of my head, no."

 

[missy]

Funny but not funny (because it is true)




It's the last one that I has me SMH though the top one is also sad

 

[kenny]

 

[kenny]

.......... And now, something for everyone ..........

Something for our physicists ...


( ... actually, wouldn't a real physicist write, "... unless you travel at the speed of light"? )


Something for our electrical engineers ...




Something for our red folks ...




Something for our TMZ readers ...




Something for our entomologists ...




Something for our orthopaedic doctors ...




And now, two things for our wonderful introverts ... ...

 

[missy]

 

[missy]

 

[missy]

 

[Rockdiamond]

 

[kenny]

All my guitars are powered by coal, preferreably dirty coal.

 

[kenny]

Gas guitars?
Hmmm.

Actually most 'electric' guitars use induction, like those new (to Americans, but not to Europeans) induction cooktops.

Some guitars, usually those that are primarily acoustics, use piezo-electric pickups.
A crystal converts movement (vibrations) into tiny electrical signal which get amplified.

 

[kenny]

For our cat lovers who can read music.