Have the littlest things been bugging you lately?

[zoebartlett]

Oh my. Harleigh, I feel for you. I really do. Is there anything school related that I could help with? We teach the same grade. Let me know. I''m happy to help if I can.

I think we all need wine and chocolate. Chocolate and wine. A girls only party -- a slumber party -- pjs, fuzzy slippers, chick flicks galore, and anything else that would make us all feel better. Trashy magazines. We could do each others'' nails. No stupid men. By the way, Harleigh, I know what you mean about your FI not helping. My FI asked me to leave him with a to do list, and I prioritized everything for him. I laid out very specifically what I wanted him to take care of. Do you think the list has been completed? Nope. Only one thing has been done and I had to help him with it. Why can''t he just do one thing by himself? He does not need my help for everything. He''s a grown man.

I do have one slightly good thing to mention. It''s 6:45 AM right now, and we just got word that the two hour delay that was called an hour ago has now been changed to a school cancellation due to snow. It''s very pretty outside -- another winter wonderland of sorts in our yard. We''re not supposed to get a ton of snow but apparently it''s enough for our superintendant to call off school. I have a ton of correcting to do and preparation to do for my observation next week. Unfortunately, I didn''t bring anything home with me last night when I left. I can either brave the elements and drive to school to pick my bag up or I can put my PJs back on and crawl back into bed. I think I''m going with option B.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Ooo! School cancellation! What great timing for you, Zoe! Enjoy the day!

Sorry I didn''t get back to you last night--I finally got up and made dinner, haha. No, the move the the west coast wouldn''t be for a job opportunity. In fact, I just started a new job this week that I''d really wanted for a long time and they have no west coast office, so right now the move is on the back burner. Mostly we just want to try something new--live in another city for a couple of years before we move back to Boston and start a family.

Now stay in your PJ''s, take a nap, relax and enjoy what will probably be the last snow cancellation of the year!

 

[iheartscience]

Geez, Harleigh, I think your stuff should go under "Have the biggest most upsetting things been bugging you lately?" I''m sorry to hear about your shingles...that must be terrible. I''ve heard it comes with a low immune system, so is being sick already what caused it? Yikes...you''re sick and then you get more sick...that''s just not fair! Your fiance better be doing whatever you want to make up for LAUGHING about it. Grrr.

The wedding stuff sounds like a nightmare, too...not to mention your stupid aide at school. I''m sorry your family is letting you down about the wedding. And I can''t believe you even bought your mother an outfit, yet she''s complaining, AND she''s got plenty of $ of her own...why would she even let you do that?!

Is it possible for you to call out of work for just a day to just chill out and watch movies or something? If so, I think you should-you deserve/need it!

 

[Octavia]

Harleigh (and anyone else), check out this link: http://http://www.alexandertechnique.com.au/learning.html and scroll down to "Constructive rest - supine position." It''s basically laying flat on your back on the floor, balancing your body, and breathing. Seems silly... but it feels so good. And it''s 15 minutes where you can''t do anything else, so it helps slow you down a bit. The rest of the page explains more about the Alexander Technique if you''re interested, but it''s not necessary. Maybe this will help a bit? I also have trouble relaxing and I find that, when I actually do this technique regularly, I do feel a lot better!

 

[diamondfan]

Harleigh!!!!

please be so careful, shingles near the eyes is very bad.

I have had it twice too, once when my oldest was a newborn due to stress, he was six weeks early, had jaundice, needed double hernia surgery and hubby ended up very sick in the hospital...and lo and behold I had shingles, on my spine.


Second time was Thanksgiving a few years ago, I was trying to get pregnant and we had family, including the horrible mother in law, and I got them all over my one side. They are SOOOO painful and most people do not get them til they are a lot older, like their 50''s. I was in my 20''s the first time and my 30''s the second.

please be careful as on the eyes you can have permanent vision issues....

I 100% KNOW how you feel... that is NOT a minor thing!

 

[Harleigh]

Aww, you ladies are so sweet! Thank you!

Unfortunately, things aren''t much better after the weekend

...FI finally informed me Friday night (after my asking for list of people since NOVEMBER!!) that he plans to invite 165 people from the fire dept. alone to the reception in August. I asked him if that included spouses and kids as we had said it would be a "family" event. He got that deer-in-the-headlights look and was like..."Uh, um, well, uh...I hadn''t thought about that." This comes from the man w/over 200 family members he plans to invite, as well, which does not include any of his friends outside of the dept! I planned to invite maybe 75 people, including my family, coworkers and friends, and I thought THAT was a lot! I nearly had heart failure when he told me that. He then suggested maybe we should look into renting a reception site as maybe the backyard *might* not be big enough to accommodate, oh, say, 500+ people!??! OMG!

I pointed this out way back when he had the idea to go to Maui to get married. We have even completely redone the backyard, plants, concrete and all and were almost finished with the renovations! I think he''s lost his ever-loving mind...no, never mind, that''s ME! I remember now!

I waited here at home until almost 7PM on Friday night for my UPS guy to deliver the pants for the groomsmen I had ordered online. Well, 3 of our guys tried on the pants I ordered yesterday and not one of them fit right because they are all either big/tall, extra tall, extra wide, etc., and I couldn''t find any of the same/similar pants in the same color in the correct sizes. I nearly cried, but the best man''s wife thankfully took pity on me and passed along some of her Big & Tall catalogs, so I''m hoping this is just a glitch in the road of everything else going wrong and may be able to be resolved shortly.

Now I just have to resign myself to spending a ton more money for special order pants in these oddball sizes...I can''t wait to show you pictures of our whacked out bridal party after the wedding...sheesh!

After we got home from visiting FI''s family last night, I sat down at the computer and started looking for new pants for the guys and reception sites in the Sacramento area. We have less than 4 months to finish the wedding/dinner reception plans and plan a welcome dinner and a little more than 4 months to try to plan a reception with an enormous amount of people here at home. I filled out about 6 index cards listing 30+ different venues in the area and handed it to my FI. He looked at me blankly and I calmly told him that it was now HIS responsibility to find a location that could accommodate his HUGE guest list along with a few event planners he should call. I told him in no uncertain terms that I obviously have WAY too much on my plate trying to plan everything in Maui, pack up my house and try to move it to his, deal with work and all my extra jobs as well as taking up his slack in everything else. I told hime the stress is just too much, and that he is going to have to figure out a way to get this reception off the ground, and SOON! He just kind of stared at me blankly, so I sent him a reminder email tonight...we''ll see where that gets me!

IF we figure any of that out, I still have to make reception invitations, address envelopes, buy more dang stamps (after the price increase, mind you!) and worry about more stupid RSVP''s. If we can''t get his family to RSVP for the wedding, I highly doubt we can count on such a vast number of people to get back to us for the reception. I don''t even think I will send RSVP cards...I think I will have to do another wedding website for just the reception and ask people to RSVP online or by phone...I am not wasting all of that postage again! Is this too tacky? Do I even care anymore???

A few other things went wrong this weekend, too, but I''ll save those for later. Time for me to get going to bed soon!

Thanks everyone for being so thoughtful...you ladies sure know how to make a girl feel like she''s not completely nuts and I appreciate it!

 

[Harleigh]

I thought I would respond to all of you who were so kind to think of me...thank you for your thoughtful responses.

Hi zoe-Thank you for the offer of help...I feel so overwhelmed that I''m not sure I know where to ask for help, but if I can think of anything that I might need, I will surely let you know. It is very kind of you to think of me. I hope you enjoyed your snow day and got some well-deserved rest. If I weren''t putting on weight at such an alarming rate, I''d take you up on the chocolate, but for now, I''m going to join you in a bottle of wine! I hope your observation goes well this week, but I''m sure you''re going to do just great! Hang in there!

Hi thing-My doctor would agree with you! It seems that all of my pent-up frustrations over the wedding are creeping up on me when I''m down. She also commented about how sick I''ve been and felt that combined with all of the stress has taken its toll. I am going to ask her about the vaccination for Shingles, but I don''t know if I''m a good candidate for it or not.

The wedding stuff IS a nightmare, and my mother certainly isn''t helping. I had a horrible dream last night that I finally snapped and screamed at her for not helping me emotionally (always complaining, being negative, etc...), physically (she has never asked if I need help with putting anything together, addressing envelopes, putting the invitation boxes together, etc...) and monetarily (no explanation needed here!) I woke up stunned that I was yelling at her as I would never do that in person. Any time I try to talk to her about how I''m feeling she just shuts me out, so it''s a useless endeavor.

And no, I can''t call in sick to work right now...I missed a half day the Weds. before Spring Break and then the day before due to the laryingitis and then just had two weeks off...I just wouldn''t feel right leaving my students again, and actually, at least when I''m at work I can''t completely panic about wedding stuff! I just focus on setting my stupid aide straight and being the best teacher I can be (which could be a lot better, I know!) My FI is working Sat/Sun next weekend, so I will definitely take some time for myself and go out country dancing w/my girlfriends and try to relax. How many days away is that???

Thanks for the link, Octavia! I will definitely check that out and see if that is something that works for me. The meds I''m on right now for the Shingles makes me really shaky, and I just can''t seem to relax no matter what. I think I finish them up on Thursday or Friday, so I''ll see how it goes after that.

Hi diamondfan!

I am trying so very hard to be careful to not touch my face and I swear my hands are going to crack from washing them so much! I think we caught it in time and it has stayed very centrally located on my lower right face above my lip. The swelling has gone down and the pain is more managable.

Funny, my first time was on vacation right before Thanksgiving, so I missed my first family holiday back with FI''s family...I was so sad, but in too much pain to care. It came back this time in the exact same place and my dr. said that I will probably never get it anywhere else on my body, which is not a comforting thought. I am going to ask her about the Shingles vaccination, but I don''t know how it works as I thought it was for older people, as well. I was 34 when I got it the first time and am 35, almost 36 now, so I''m thinking this is happening WAY too frequently for my liking.

Thanks for understanding!

 

[Octavia]

Oh my heavens, Harleigh. I''m sending healing thoughts your way, I hope they help. I can''t believe that your reception has suddenly gotten so out of hand, that''s insane! Just my opinion, but you were absolutely right to hand some of the planning off to your FI -- he of all people should realize that you need to focus on getting healthy now. Is there any way he can hand out invitations rather than mailing them, to save on postage a little? Or maybe when he starts pricing out venues, he''ll change his mind about the size of the reception?

Anyway, I hope you''re able to breathe a bit and believe that everything will be okay in the end. I''m sorry that your wedding planning is stressing you out so badly, and I really hope things ease up soon.