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:-( He cheated.

Parsley,

I''m so sorry to hear this. You are a wonderful, caring person and you deserve so much more.

Take care of yourself. It hurts, but you will get through it. Just take it one minute at a time. (I know a lot of people who say one day at a time, but when you are hurting this badly a day can feel like eternity.)

Lots of hugs to you.
 
Oh, Parsley. I''m so sorry. People who love you would never do this to you, so I know it sounds so cliche, but thank goodness you found out now, and not after you had invested more of yourself in the relationship.

Take care of yourself, breathe, and work on making yourself happy from now on. Lots of ((((((hugs))))))!
 
My dear Parsley...>>
Both of them are pathetic...I understand that you have to deal with a double treason...it''s not easy...But in a (hard) way you got lucky, because you found out who they really are early enough, so that you can take them both out of your life, your heart and your mind...
I honestly don''t understand how people can act this way and live with themselves afterwards...In my mind, it is inconceivable...Damn them...i''m so extremely upset riight now
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Take care of yourself sweetheart and keep your head proudly up high...We''re all here for you...
 
Everyone has given great advice, and I know what you''re going through from experience (experience that I wish nobody would have to experience!).

You are a strong individual, and though it hurts, and you feel so betrayed (rightfully so), do not give him (or her for that matter) the satisfaction of breaking you. You are stronger than that, and there''s no reason for them to win by affecting your view of the world or making you feel shitty. They are the ones that deserve to feel like crap. In fact, he lost something amazing. You, on the other hand, are gaining so much more by not having individuals like that in your life. I took my experience as an opportunity to clean house, and cut out friends in my life that didn''t truly care for me, and made sure I surrounded myself with amazing individuals who I adore (and that adore me back).

I''m really glad that you can actually tell his comments (texts) are insincere...it means the rose-coloured glasses are off (boy, I had mine on for a long time too. Now that I look back, blah! I try not to look back too often. However, so much good has come after that relationship ended, that even though I feel like an idiot for having been in that previous relationship, it did shape me into the amazing person I am now, and lead me to my current life and SO), and though he is trying to tug on your heart-strings, you are past that. There''s only better things (and people) to look forward to now.
 
Oh Parsley, how terrible. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Ditch the BF and crappy "friend", dust yourself off, and move forward with better things for yourself. ((( hugs )))
 
Knife, rope, lighter fluid and matches. Just saying. Been there, done that. Run while you can, don''t get sucked in. I am SO SO sorry. Huge HUGS.
 
You deserve so much better. Drop both of the losers ASAP, if you have not already. Huge hugs to you, so sorry you are going through this.
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Im really sorry, Parsely
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{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

What you''re doing is great, leave, leave, leave...because you deserve better.
 
Oh, Parsley, I''m so sorry!



Previous posters have been far more eloquent in their wisdom than I would be, so I''ll just offer you a huge ::HUG:: and iterate that you''re better off without animals like that in your life. Please do something special for yourself, focus on YOU for the next few weeks.
 
Once again, thank you all so much. It really helps to have so much love and support, my friends have been amazing. I had my home friends over this evening, they instantly said they''d be over today when they found out about what happened yesterday. They let me talk through stuff, said all the things good friends say, made all the best jokes about revenge, and also managed to distract me completely for a good few hours. I was laughing and making jokes!! Making Jokes!!!

He has started the texts that will tug on my heart strings, and I will admit, it''s so difficult. They are more sincere, I think he''s realised I''m not stupid, and has started to feel the effects of what he''s done, as although I have replied they have never displayed any emotions of love or missing him. They''ve been very cold hard fact like. So now that he''s more sincere the messages he sends get to me more. This time it was saying about it not feeling right to go to bed without me, and another apology. Bedtime was a big thing for me. It was my favourite part of the day, cuddling up to him in bed, and our whole rigmarole around it. It hurt.

I stayed strong, and replied that he made that choice. I even made a joke about him making his bed and now lying in it to my friends, and wished I could have sent that, though I thought it would either be too nice, or too cruel, and I''m not out to be him.

Love you all
P
xxx
 
Date: 5/20/2010 6:20:19 PM
Author: Parsley
Once again, thank you all so much. It really helps to have so much love and support, my friends have been amazing. I had my home friends over this evening, they instantly said they''d be over today when they found out about what happened yesterday. They let me talk through stuff, said all the things good friends say, made all the best jokes about revenge, and also managed to distract me completely for a good few hours. I was laughing and making jokes!! Making Jokes!!!

He has started the texts that will tug on my heart strings, and I will admit, it''s so difficult. They are more sincere, I think he''s realised I''m not stupid, and has started to feel the effects of what he''s done, as although I have replied they have never displayed any emotions of love or missing him. They''ve been very cold hard fact like. So now that he''s more sincere the messages he sends get to me more. This time it was saying about it not feeling right to go to bed without me, and another apology. Bedtime was a big thing for me. It was my favourite part of the day, cuddling up to him in bed, and our whole rigmarole around it. It hurt.

I stayed strong, and replied that he made that choice. I even made a joke about him making his bed and now lying in it to my friends, and wished I could have sent that, though I thought it would either be too nice, or too cruel, and I''m not out to be him.

Love you all
P
xxx
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Stay STRONG girl! Let him suffer. Let him wallow. Let him feel some pain.

Even though you are still hurting, continue to move on, and rely on the love and support of your friends and family. You will get over it soon, he will realize he''s made a huge mistake and have to live with it.

Keep your chin up!
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Good for you! Kick him to the curb and never speak to or text either one of them.
 
honestly, after that betrayal I would only be replying to his texts if they were about splitting posessions or bills. He doesn''t deserve an answer at all. He really did make his bed and lie in it. Good for you for being strong. Keep it up girl, and if you feel weak, come post here and we will hold you up.
 
Block his number, delete his texts, don''t reply to him. He''s out of your life. Done-zo. You are too wonderful a person to be bogged down by people that would do such horrible things. He screwed up, he needs to get over it by himself. He''s using you to try to lessen his guilt - it''s like he thinks what he did can''t be so bad if you''re still talking to him, because if you''re still talking to him, there''s a chance. Screw that and screw him. Freeze him out. No contact at all. Go with a friend to get your stuff (or to box up his stuff and get it out of your place) and maybe get out of town for the weekend.

*big hugs and a swift kick to the rear of your jerky ex and pitiful excuse for a (former) friend*
 
Date: 5/20/2010 6:42:03 PM
Author: princesss
Block his number, delete his texts, don''t reply to him. He''s out of your life. Done-zo. You are too wonderful a person to be bogged down by people that would do such horrible things. He screwed up, he needs to get over it by himself. He''s using you to try to lessen his guilt - it''s like he thinks what he did can''t be so bad if you''re still talking to him, because if you''re still talking to him, there''s a chance. Screw that and screw him. Freeze him out. No contact at all. Go with a friend to get your stuff (or to box up his stuff and get it out of your place) and maybe get out of town for the weekend.


*big hugs and a swift kick to the rear of your jerky ex and pitiful excuse for a (former) friend*
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I ditto this!
 
Date: 5/20/2010 6:46:20 PM
Author: caroleena
Date: 5/20/2010 6:42:03 PM

Author: princesss

Block his number, delete his texts, don''t reply to him. He''s out of your life. Done-zo. You are too wonderful a person to be bogged down by people that would do such horrible things. He screwed up, he needs to get over it by himself. He''s using you to try to lessen his guilt - it''s like he thinks what he did can''t be so bad if you''re still talking to him, because if you''re still talking to him, there''s a chance. Screw that and screw him. Freeze him out. No contact at all. Go with a friend to get your stuff (or to box up his stuff and get it out of your place) and maybe get out of town for the weekend.



*big hugs and a swift kick to the rear of your jerky ex and pitiful excuse for a (former) friend*
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I ditto this!
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Me too! Big hugs to you, girl. Stay strong and keep hanging out with your friends, they sound wonderful!
 
Oh, I am so sorry!!! You must be totally devastated!

Don''t weaken. There ARE men out there who are faithfull. Kick him to the curb, lose her and move on from this.

You CAN recover and you WILL find someone who is worthy of you. Don''t weaken and DON"T SETTLE.

Take all the time you need to heal....you have been given a HUGE shock. It will take time for you to get over this. And if you feel yourself weakening, conjure up how AWFUL you feel right now.

You WILL get thru this.
 
Big, BIG HUGS!!!!

His text messages (1) are aimed at lessening his guilt, and (2) will only prolong your healing period. He''s a dirtbag. You''re not going to date him again (I hope), so when you feel ready, stop responding to texts, divvy up what you need to get, and delete/ignore all incoming texts and calls. Clean break. Let him deal with himself and what he did.

Take some time to go away for the long weekend with some real friends. Get out, breathe some fresh air, change your surroundings. I wish you the best, Parsley.
 
Date: 5/20/2010 8:19:42 PM
Author: iota15

His text messages (1) are aimed at lessening his guilt, and (2) will only prolong your healing period. He''s a dirtbag. You''re not going to date him again (I hope), so when you feel ready, stop responding to texts, divvy up what you need to get, and delete/ignore all incoming texts and calls. Clean break. Let him deal with himself and what he did.
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This advice is absolutely dead-on. He''s a dirtbag. The sooner you cut him completely out of your life, the sooner you can move on, and the better your life will be. Both he and your "friend" are disgusting scum, and you don''t need or want to have any sort of relationship with either of them in the future.
 
****huge hugs**** I''m so sorry you''re hurting
 
Date: 5/20/2010 6:42:03 PM
Author: princesss
Block his number, delete his texts, don''t reply to him. He''s out of your life. Done-zo. You are too wonderful a person to be bogged down by people that would do such horrible things. He screwed up, he needs to get over it by himself. He''s using you to try to lessen his guilt - it''s like he thinks what he did can''t be so bad if you''re still talking to him, because if you''re still talking to him, there''s a chance. Screw that and screw him. Freeze him out. No contact at all. Go with a friend to get your stuff (or to box up his stuff and get it out of your place) and maybe get out of town for the weekend.


*big hugs and a swift kick to the rear of your jerky ex and pitiful excuse for a (former) friend*
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I am so sorry you are going though this. As someone who has been though this, I totally agree with the above. The faster you get him out of your life, the sooner you heal and move on. I know it is really hard right now, and it feels like your world has just ended. But this is the start of a new chapter and better things.
 
I"m so sorry Parsley - that was unexcusable and disgusting of both of them. They are cowards and not worth your time or affection.
 
Everyone is giving great advice. Be strong! Don''t let his texts phase you. He lied to your face for months he doesn''t deserve a response.
 
Date: 5/20/2010 7:35:01 PM
Author: Amber St. Clare
Oh, I am so sorry!!! You must be totally devastated!


Don''t weaken. There ARE men out there who are faithfull. Kick him to the curb, lose her and move on from this.


You CAN recover and you WILL find someone who is worthy of you. Don''t weaken and DON''T SETTLE.


Take all the time you need to heal....you have been given a HUGE shock. It will take time for you to get over this. And if you feel yourself weakening, conjure up how AWFUL you feel right now.


You WILL get thru this.
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this is exactly how I feel. I am so sorry you are going through this, but please stay strong. You deserve so much better.
 
Boo hoo for him.
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No need to communicate with him or the sad excuse of a friend anymore. Buh-bye, losers. Thanks for showing your true colors.
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Aw, Parsley. Stay strong. There''s a lot of great advice in this thread. I''m glad you''re not trying to work things out with him. I''m sure it''s hard to completely cut ties with him after three years (I think three years?). I think you probably should make it clear to him that you have no interest in getting back together with him, having him as a friend, or having him in your life in any way. If you stop answering calls/texts he might keep trying to contact you for weeks or months, and that won''t be good for you.

Good luck with all of it. It''s good to hear you have friends who are there for you. And you know we''ll all listen here, too. ((((((HUGS))))))))
 
I'm so sorry you are hurting. I've always taken the opinion that you assume that risk when you fall in love, but never a best friend. So wrong. Neither of these people is worthy of your affection or attention. Don't waste another second on them.
 
I''m so sorry they did this to you
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I know it hurts so much now, but it will get better. You''re so much better off without them in your life.

Sending you tons of *hugs*.
 
You are way better off without the slimeball.
 
Parsley,

I cannot believe what they did, they were supposed to love you, to be there for you. This betrayal shows they are not worth you! You deserve so much better, from a friend and from a boyfriend! I sincerely hope you won''t let them get away with it. I am glad your friends are there for you!
 
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