How much info do you give to people who ask about

[junebug17]

You guys are the best! I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed reading all of your responses. These people i'm referring to are coworkers. I work with a lot of women and they're very nosey and ask direct personal questions. If you answer evasively, (is that a word ) don't worry, they'll keep asking more direct questions or indirect questions like I mentioned in the first or second post.

They aren't asking purely because they share my love of diamonds. They're asking to satisfy their curiousity and to possibly embarrass me / others. Like I said before, it's too bad.

I think I'll do what that poster said and say Thank You. Then they'll say, what size?

QUESTION
What size can a 7.43 pass for? (cushion)
and if it's a F can I say it's a D or E?

Thanks!

Why are you considering lying about the color of your stone? I think you are too concerned about what these people think. Just share the info you're comfortable sharing, otherwise tell them you'd prefer not to say. I feel that you're stooping to their level by misrepresenting your diamond. Just ignore them and enjoy your ring.

 

[LGK]

I am unusual here, in that I have a *lot* of conversations with people about my jewelry. Usually once or more a day. Because 1. I wear a larger antique stone, and 2. I am working around a lot of antique jewelry. So people are in "jewelry noticing mode" and feel free to ask me questions about mine, and do, constantly. (Plus I'm a handy captive audience behind a desk.)

Many, many people will ask totally bizarre things and not mean them to be obnoxious. By far the most common thing I'm asked is if my ring is real. And 99% of the time, the person asking has no idea that that particular question could be taken as rude, so I don't take it as an insult.

So, yeah, I've had a lot of practice answering people's questions, some very intrusive and strange. Personally, I don't mind telling people how much it weighs, what the stats are (and yes, people do ask at least about color occasionally- usually in context of "why's it so sparkly") People are just clueless about jewelry, but are mostly curious and well meaning. So unless someone asks how much it cost or who I had to f*ck to get it, I don't mind answering. (And yes, both of those were actual questions I was asked!)

You can't control what other people think, you can only control your own reaction to them. If they're that catty and gossipy, they'll find something else to pick on if it's not your ring, so just ignore it and answer only what you feel comfortable answering. If you don't want to answer a thing, absolutely just pull the "It was a gift from my husband" card; hands down it's the best conversation-stopper, and is still polite. They don't have to believe you don't know anything about the stone- not at all. They just have to accept you're saying mind your own business in a politer fashion. Which is the point of that answer after all!

Or just a straight up "I don't know" or "I'd prefer not to share that." Any of those answers kill conversation dead, and if the girls you work with are not your friends and you don't want to have a long convo about your ring with them, bust one of those out. Again, if they are really that snotty who cares what conclusions they draw? (I doubt it would be that the ring is fake- more likely they'll be irritated you didn't dish out interesting details, but that's absolutely your choice.)

And I wouldn't lie about the stats... why on earth would you? Practically speaking, you'll probably forget you've done it and totally put your foot in your mouth when you tell someone else something different months later, IMO. Plus, lying about it is just... pointless? A diamond is what it is. And why wouldn't you be totally proud of what your fiance gave you regardless of stats? Heck, I wore my original 0.25 cttw antique wedding set for 7 years until it fell apart. And I was just as proud of that as my 3 1/2 ct antique stone. My husband gave it to me, with love, which is way more important than what the stone is, after all . Seriously, don't even worry about what they think- I mean, it's not like any of them are going to be sporting the Krupp on their ring fingers after all!

 

[Autumnovember]

And I wouldn't lie about the stats... why on earth would you? Practically speaking, you'll probably forget you've done it and totally put your foot in your mouth when you tell someone else something different months later, IMO. Plus, lying about it is just... pointless? A diamond is what it is. And why wouldn't you be totally proud of what your fiance gave you regardless of stats? Heck, I wore my original 0.25 cttw antique wedding set for 7 years until it fell apart. And I was just as proud of that as my 3 1/2 ct antique stone. My husband gave it to me, with love, which is way more important than what the stone is, after all . Seriously, don't even worry about what they think- I mean, it's not like any of them are going to be sporting the Krupp on their ring fingers after all!

+1!

 

[Imdanny]

OP, you've intrigued me. You have very specific questions they're going to ask you and you're thinking about elaborate lies for each question. I can't figure out your motivation! Nothing personal! It seems like you're trying to create an "impression" for other people to get of your ring, your DH, and you. I couldn't possibly know what the nuances involved are in this for you.

I know with the ring I'm getting (just a plain gold band), I want to be able to wear it without explaining it or justifying it to anyone. It would take too much energy.

 

[Imdanny]

So unless someone asks how much it cost or who I had to f*ck to get it, I don't mind answering. (And yes, both of those were actual questions I was asked!)

Wow!

 

[Gypsy]

If someone is asking sincerely, because they like my ring, or are interested in me, I might give them some information. Usually I just explain asschers unless they are really interested in details. If they are just oblivious and not malicious, then I might give them a straight answer. As long they aren't asking me the cost. I don't answer cost questions.

Anyone who asks me about my engagement ring with any hint of mischief gets shut down. If they tick me off I explain how much effort my husband put into finding the right ring for me (a lot of effort and three states of hunting), and that I would NEVER ask him about the details because I don't CARE what they are, just that we're happily married and that my ring is stunning.

But honestly, I don't get a lot nosey questions anymore. When I did they did throw me. But even then... my MO was to shut the person down immediately.

 

[Imdanny]

OP wrote, "They're asking to satisfy their curiousity and to possibly embarrass me / others." This would be entirely too much drama for me. I wouldn't go along with it.

How much total curiosity and embarrassment could possibly be related to a co-worker's ring, anyway? It sounds bizarre to me for co-workers to care so much about someone's ring. And if they care about the ring, what other dramas are they trying to create?

Discussing jewelry with people who are interested in it is cool (that's why we're here!) but I'm with Gypsy. Shut them down.

 

[lknvrb4]

When I worked outside of the home I had a girl in my office ask me how big my ring was and how much it cost. I was stunned, who asks people that kind of question? My diamond is only 1 carat but big for the area I live in. She got engaged a year later and had a honking ring but was the crappiest thing I had ever seen. I took a look and just smiled and congratulated her.

 

[rosetta]

I wonder if it's a cultural thing?

I never get asked very personal questions in the UK, just get compliments.

The only who asked me about weight was an American (he guessed 2 and i was wearing my 1 ct) and he was very polite so I answered him.

I wouldn't lie about your stats, that's weird to me. I would have thought it's very easy to avoid talking about the price of an e ring: just say you don't know.

On the whole, I don't take questions about my jewellery any more personally than questions about my clothes or shoes etc.

 

[jbawwou]

I find it odd that it seems like you want to down play your ring, like the cost of it to your coworkers. If thats is the case why do you want to lie and upgrade the color? It all seems a bit backwards.
Why dont you just take the ring off before you go to work. Out of sight out of mind.

 

[Dreamer_D]

No one ever asks!

 

[decodelighted]

I think lying about your ring is a terrible idea. I guess you really, really, really want a 2ct d/e vvs1 ring but aren't able or willing to pay for one?

I wonder how many of the other women around your office are lying about THEIR rings? Sounds like an awful place to work.

 

[TravelingGal]

None of my friends ask about my rings...they can all afford (and have) bigger bling than I do, so no big deal. And it's not like they know how hard it is to source a padparadscha.

They were curious and did ask about my Carrera necklace, because they knew I was also shopping at VCA. I have no problems answering, although I know they're only asking because they wanna know, not because they're doing any research. No problem, I asked in turn how much their stuff was.

 

[Haven]

Don't lie about your ring stats! If you don't want to tell them the truth, just tell them that you aren't going to answer that question. I wouldn't tell these women anything, and I would be happy to tell them so in order to discourage them from coming near me in the future.

It sounds like you work with a wake of vultures; I'm so sorry!

 

[LtlFirecracker]

My friends and co-workers have been pretty polite. Most people just say it is "beautiful." At the most someone will ask me the caret weight which my response is "just over a caret." One one has ever asked me about color, clarity or cut.

 

[SB621]

OP- please don't take this the wrong way, but how old are you? I think you are either very young, very immature or both to be asking these types of questions. I really don't believe the women you work with are trying to embarrass you and ruin your life. Nor do I think it is a smart idea to lie about your ring. For me, personally, I think that says alot about you and lying about the specs of your ring is childish- you are only digging yourself into a deeper hole. And finally just because you are not getting the exact responses you wanted here I wouldn't keep creating other threads asking your questions on how your cushion could pass for a better quality 2 carat...most of us our active on the different forums so we see the reposts.

I dont' see why you feel the need to respond, just say thank you and they will get the point. Who cares what they believe- the gossip mill will always be going. I'm wondering if you keep bringing up your ring which causes them to keep asking questions. I would think that after your inital engagement most of the people would forget and move on to whatever the latest news is...just my .02.

 

[decodelighted]

OP- please don't take this the wrong way, but how old are you? I think you are either very young, very immature or both to be asking these types of questions.

LOL ... What's the "right" way to take it? Please don't take this the wrong way but you're either young or immature - maybe both! Please don't think I'm completely judging you: but I am!

 

[MyDiamondSparkles]

Thank God I work from home. I don't know if I would want to or even can deal with other people's insecurity or jealousy issues.

I've never in my life asked anyone how big their diamond was, much less the stats on it. And no one has ever asked me either. Yes, I have given compliments on beautiful rings just as I've received compliments on mine.

There's one person here, who's ring I just absolutley adore. I haven't asked her about the full stats on it though as I just kind of think it would be rude.

I kind of wonder if all this is kind of a generational thing or maybe a geographical thing? Like maybe it's more acceptable in some areas? Or in some generations?

One of the best peices of advice I received was from my wonderful Mother-in-Law. She told me "You won't ever be happy with anything you want, until you learn to be happy with what you have". She was totally right.

And my husband's best piece of advice... "If people lie about the little things, what will they do when it comes to telling the truth about the bigger and more important things in life?"

MyDiamondSparkles

 

[MichelleCarmen]

.

 

[Gypsy]

Maybe the third time will be a charm.

Okay. This is your engagement ring. Not a status symbol. It's a symbol of commitment. Hon, you need some time alone. Away from the diamonds. Away from your 'friends' or whatever they are. And just with your FI to remember what this ring represents. Love, commitment, friendship, trust, respect. All that matters is that the two of you love what you get and that you are taking this next step in your relationship together. When someone asks you about your ring it is NOT the same as someone asking you about your car. There is a difference. THAT is why so many PSers in this thread said that they say they don't know-- that they just love it and their hubby bought it for them. Because people are making them uncomfortable by turning something that is a symbol of love into a symbol of crass commercialism, and they are reminding those rude enough to do that that it's NOT OKAY. But here you are doing the same thing to your OWN ring.

Frankly, your posts are disturbing. First you didn't want to "settle" for an H. And now you want to lie about a lovely stone that is colorless, bigger than the national average, and more than eyeclean.

What's up? Are you ever going to be happy with anything that is in front of you? Or are you going to worry about what others think all your life and never be happy with what you have Cause if you are lying already about this stuff... where does it end? And why does it matter what other's think?

 

[yennyfire]

I don't understand why you are asking for guidance about how to respond to nosy questions about your ring, when on RT, you are asking opinions re: which ring we like better? Do you already have a ring or are you in the process of buying a ring, which is it?? I'm still really confused...

 

[Autumnovember]

Honestly, she's busy posting in other threads instead of giving us any sort of responses so I think its pointless to continue posting in this one.

 

[junebug17]

I don't understand why you are asking for guidance about how to respond to nosy questions about your ring, when on RT, you are asking opinions re: which ring we like better? Do you already have a ring or are you in the process of buying a ring, which is it?? I'm still really confused...

Yenny, I was confused too...she doesn't have the ring yet, she is deciding now, but anticipating questions about her ring that she thinks people will ask her at work.

 

[yennyfire]

Moving right along....

 

[LALove]

OP- please don't take this the wrong way, but how old are you? I think you are either very young, very immature or both to be asking these types of questions.

LOL ... What's the "right" way to take it? Please don't take this the wrong way but you're either young or immature - maybe both! Please don't think I'm completely judging you: but I am!

I actually laughed out loud at this line!

To the OP- playing "Keeping Up With The Jonses" is a losing game. Just enjoy your ring for what it is and what it represents.

 

[Autumnovember]

I don't understand why you are asking for guidance about how to respond to nosy questions about your ring, when on RT, you are asking opinions re: which ring we like better? Do you already have a ring or are you in the process of buying a ring, which is it?? I'm still really confused...

Yenny, I was confused too...she doesn't have the ring yet, she is deciding now, but anticipating questions about her ring that she thinks people will ask her at work.

Not only that but her other threads are... and after everyone gives her advice in her other threads she doesn't follow up.

 

[junebug17]

I don't understand why you are asking for guidance about how to respond to nosy questions about your ring, when on RT, you are asking opinions re: which ring we like better? Do you already have a ring or are you in the process of buying a ring, which is it?? I'm still really confused...

Yenny, I was confused too...she doesn't have the ring yet, she is deciding now, but anticipating questions about her ring that she thinks people will ask her at work.

Not only that but her other threads are... and after everyone gives her advice in her other threads she doesn't follow up.

I agree Autumn, the OP isn't responding to the replies of her posts...kind of strange...

 

[Haven]

Honestly, she's busy posting in other threads instead of giving us any sort of responses so I think its pointless to continue posting in this one.

The OP is responding to this thread--it looks like her last response in this thread was today, 12/27, around 5 AM .

It sounds to me that she's nervous about what might happen with her coworkers once she actually has the ring on her hand. I can understand that.

ETA: Edited to fix the time referenced in my post.

 

[Autumnovember]

I don't understand why you are asking for guidance about how to respond to nosy questions about your ring, when on RT, you are asking opinions re: which ring we like better? Do you already have a ring or are you in the process of buying a ring, which is it?? I'm still really confused...

Yenny, I was confused too...she doesn't have the ring yet, she is deciding now, but anticipating questions about her ring that she thinks people will ask her at work.

Not only that but her other threads are... and after everyone gives her advice in her other threads she doesn't follow up.

I agree Autumn, the OP isn't responding to the replies of her posts...kind of strange...

Everything is off...including all her threads.


I'll stop posting in this thread after this comment....great advice has been given and I don't think anything else needs to be said to her.

 

[junebug17]

I don't understand why you are asking for guidance about how to respond to nosy questions about your ring, when on RT, you are asking opinions re: which ring we like better? Do you already have a ring or are you in the process of buying a ring, which is it?? I'm still really confused...

Yenny, I was confused too...she doesn't have the ring yet, she is deciding now, but anticipating questions about her ring that she thinks people will ask her at work.

Not only that but her other threads are... and after everyone gives her advice in her other threads she doesn't follow up.

I agree Autumn, the OP isn't responding to the replies of her posts...kind of strange...

Everything is off...including all her threads.


I'll stop posting in this thread after this comment....great advice has been given and I don't think anything else needs to be said to her.

Yeah, I'm going to stop responding too. Apparently she didn't like the answers she got here about the carat and color thing, so she decided to try her luck over in RT. I'm getting a little frustrated by the whole thing, so I'm done.