I'm coming clean...

[kelpie]

LKG makes a good point that the high prices are likely here to stay so you don't need to rush, you can see how your finances are down the road. I don't know how you feel about them but I have owned high end branded simulents as mentioned above that look quite close to diamonds but not exactly to my eyes and I felt like a total sham wearing them. I just can't do it. I would rather wear nothing or a colored stone. The main reason I love diamonds (or any natural gem) is the feel, physical properties, and luxury which comes with their ancient beginnings that is supplementary to their beauty. I can't derive that pleasure from even the closest visual approximation of a diamond.

 

[Amys Bling]

LKG makes a good point that the high prices are likely here to stay so you don't need to rush, you can see how your finances are down the road. I don't know how you feel about them but I have owned high end branded simulents as mentioned above that look quite close to diamonds but not exactly to my eyes and I felt like a total sham wearing them. I just can't do it. I would rather wear nothing or a colored stone. The main reason I love diamonds (or any natural gem) is the feel, physical properties, and luxury which comes with their ancient beginnings that is supplementary to their beauty. I can't derive that pleasure from even the closest visual approximation of a diamond.

Agree totally re: simulates.

 

[rosetta]

Do you think your answer to this is colored by your own diamond desires? If you would love a 1.7ct but cannot afford it (I cannot either in this market) then perhaps you say KEEP? But if you have a larger diamond or did not get one until older or don't like marger diamond, you are more in the sell camp?

I like large stones and I have a larger stone than you dreamer, so I hope my answer is not coloured.

My advice: don't sell it unless you really really have to. I think you will really miss it. The AVC is significantly smaller. The prices of diamonds aren't showing any sign of going down, though the rate of rise may be slowing down. It may take you a long time to get back to 1.7 carat (and something tells me you wouldnt say no to higher carats either )

I am currently helping some friends buy their engagement rings and it's grim. I'm roundly asking everyone to hold onto their diamonds for now if they possibly can.

 

[gemgirl]

A couple of things I *know* about you as sure as I'm sitting here typing this. You'd never be happy with no ring. No how, no way. Although you might be in practical thinking mode right now, you love your sparklies as much as the next PSer because I've watched you sweat the decision to upgrade each time that you did. Second, I don't think anyone should EVER give up their engagement ring or wedding set to pay off anything. These things are the symbols of our committment to each other. They were given with love and hopefulness in mind. I don't think of my wedding set merely as something materialistic. It's an outward precious (in the sentimental way) symbol of the bond between my husband and myself. Besides that, I'm worth it and I deserve it!

Speaking as someone who decided to sell or give away literally everything attached to my first husband and first marriage in an effort to make it through the divorce and come out above water....... having nothing to show for it SUCKED!!! and I will sincerely never ever do that again, no matter how much money it would bring me. Actually, if I sold all my jewelry (not just my wedding set) I probably wouldn't have a mortgage anymore. Would I ever do it? Hell no!!!!! The fact of the matter is, we're always going to have debt of some sort. You have a house and two kids, I have a house and a husband with his own business. We're always going to have unforseen expenses. It's just the nature of life and how we all live.

My suggestion is not to do anything too soon. I think in a week or two, you'll probably feel completely differently about this.

 

[rosetta]

LKG makes a good point that the high prices are likely here to stay so you don't need to rush, you can see how your finances are down the road. I don't know how you feel about them but I have owned high end branded simulents as mentioned above that look quite close to diamonds but not exactly to my eyes and I felt like a total sham wearing them. I just can't do it. I would rather wear nothing or a colored stone. The main reason I love diamonds (or any natural gem) is the feel, physical properties, and luxury which comes with their ancient beginnings that is supplementary to their beauty. I can't derive that pleasure from even the closest visual approximation of a diamond.

Agree totally re: simulates.

I've recently bought a simulate to wear only when travelling overseas.

I can categorically state that it does NOT in any way feel like wearing a real diamond. At all.

I was almost disappointed: there goes any chance of me ever enjoying bling on the cheap

 

[Circe]

Do you think your answer to this is colored by your own diamond desires? If you would love a 1.7ct but cannot afford it (I cannot either in this market) then perhaps you say KEEP? But if you have a larger diamond or did not get one until older or don't like marger diamond, you are more in the sell camp?

I think this is kind of a false dichotomy, though: I think everybody's perspective is going to be colored by their own experiences.

Reading your original post, I just find myself thinking of my mother's grand piano. She bought it just before the economy tanked, and it's become a total albatross around my parents neck. As a result, I'm averse to sinking large chunks of potentially crucial cash into non-portable assets. If I thought they could get anything close to what they paid for it? I'd move the damned thing to its new home by hand myself, even if said new home was located on the dark side of the moon.

For somebody who's always had a more liquid money situation, it might seem less critical, and thus odder, to consider selling a prized possession.

That said, though, unless this is making you mighty anxious/guilty, I think I'll change my vote to sit inline with LGK and co: selling high and buying high would make me feel like I'd lost money, even if I could pay off a debt. I think I'd personally prefer to either keep the ring and pay the debt off gradually, or pay the debt off entirely, live bling-free for a couple of years, and then start fresh. All or nothing at all, that's me ....

 

[Circe]

LKG makes a good point that the high prices are likely here to stay so you don't need to rush, you can see how your finances are down the road. I don't know how you feel about them but I have owned high end branded simulents as mentioned above that look quite close to diamonds but not exactly to my eyes and I felt like a total sham wearing them. I just can't do it. I would rather wear nothing or a colored stone. The main reason I love diamonds (or any natural gem) is the feel, physical properties, and luxury which comes with their ancient beginnings that is supplementary to their beauty. I can't derive that pleasure from even the closest visual approximation of a diamond.

Agree totally re: simulates.

I've recently bought a simulate to wear only when travelling overseas.

I can categorically state that it does NOT in any way feel like wearing a real diamond. At all.

I was almost disappointed: there goes any chance of me ever enjoying bling on the cheap

Ditto - I got a fake to wear while my fat little hands are all swollen during pregnancy, and it is just not the same for me, personally. Wearing something completely different like my rough, though? THAT still feels luxe. Perhaps this might be a good time to look into the beauty of colored stones?

 

[Amys Bling]

Ok, so I am tweaking my tune here-

I am starting to side more in the all or nothin camp- but not entirely all.

If you are truly going to seel your 1.66 then I would think you should not just go for half but more. I would buy this stone:

http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/7288/

(I know you prefer VS2 as your sweet spot, but if this is eyeclean it can be a starter until some time passes and financially you could--if you wanted to that is--- up grade a tad for clarity and/or size ) and either put in a temp setting or go for a 3 stone setting.

With a temp setting you could take the 11,000- buy the 2,500 stone and say a 500 setting and be left with 8,000 to use to pay down debt/save for future need.

Or with the three stone setting you would spend the 2500 on the stone, and then say another 1000-1500-2000 on the forever setting and be left with 7,500-7,000-6,500 for debt and expenses- BUT you would have the three stone look you crave- finger coverage- and the center stone while a J like your PS gifted sides, also has MF which should give it a tad whiter appearance and th sides since smaller will *appear* a tad whiter anyway- possibly-

If you go with the 1.18 AVC J and a temp setting you are only left with 5,000 and still have to purchase the side stones and reset into a 3 stone down the road probably bringing you to only a 1,000-2,000 savings in the long run. Seems like a lot of selling and rebuying to only get about 2,000 of money in the grand scheme of the plan.

 

[slg47]

I was wondering why you posted about that AVC!

I would probably keep the ring. I think if you go smaller you would miss your larger stone. And with prices the way they are...I am not sure you would be able to get a larger stone. Plus as I recall you have somewhat of an unusual 'steely' J that might be hard to find again...so I would keep it.

If you decide not to keep it...what about a 3-stone ring with a colored stone center and your earring stones?

 

[Dreamer_D]

LKG makes a good point that the high prices are likely here to stay so you don't need to rush, you can see how your finances are down the road. I don't know how you feel about them but I have owned high end branded simulents as mentioned above that look quite close to diamonds but not exactly to my eyes and I felt like a total sham wearing them. I just can't do it. I would rather wear nothing or a colored stone. The main reason I love diamonds (or any natural gem) is the feel, physical properties, and luxury which comes with their ancient beginnings that is supplementary to their beauty. I can't derive that pleasure from even the closest visual approximation of a diamond.

I feel this way too. I have toyed with getting a nice sapphire or other hardy colored stone for a three stone. I think that is the most economical for me. But I do like the sparkle of a diamond!

 

[Dreamer_D]

You all make wonderful points and are very thoughtful. Thank you so much.

I have been convinced of the all or nothing camp. If I sell, I will wait to buy on the secondary market or when prices drop or some such combination. If anything I will spend only $2-$3k to get something lovely to wear. But he decision to sell or not cannot be linked to what I might replace the ring with.

Right now we are leaning to sell. The $11k we would gain would allow us to be debt free by the new year (save mortgage) and would finally allow us to get ahead of the game. That would feel better than my ring makes me feel I suspect.

And I do enjoy the hunt

 

[bluebirrrd]

Dreamer D, what a tough decision, I'm sorry! If you decide to sell, the ring you end up with in the future is going to represent the love and commitment you feel toward your family. To me, that would make it very special as well as a big statement about who you are and what your priorities are in life. If you decide not to sell, it sounds like you can buckle down and make things work, which says a lot about you also.

 

[Amys Bling]

You all make wonderful points and are very thoughtful. Thank you so much.

I have been convinced of the all or nothing camp. If I sell, I will wait to buy on the secondary market or when prices drop or some such combination. If anything I will spend only $2-$3k to get something lovely to wear. But he decision to sell or not cannot be linked to what I might replace the ring with.

Right now we are leaning to sell. The $11k we would gain would allow us to be debt free by the new year (save mortgage) and would finally allow us to get ahead of the game. That would feel better than my ring makes me feel I suspect.

And I do enjoy the hunt

Good thoughts! I think If you sell, make the sale worth it and only replace with - like youbfelt- a 2-3000 ring do you have a good 8K to put towards debt and other expenses.

 

[AmeliaG]

Well if you love looking at sparklies and you're a bit of a cut nut and you're looking to spend no more than $3000, then why not get a totally different type of diamond jewelry like a tennis bracelet with H&As? This 3-prong tennis bracelet on Whiteflash has ACA diamonds that are F/G VS and set in 14K white gold with a TCW of 2.00 carats. it comes in right under $3000.

http://www.whiteflash.com/diamond-bracelets/three-prong-diamond-tennis-bracelet-501.htm

No, its not a big diamond but in a tennis bracelet, they don't pretend to be. I don't think any solitaire you'd get would look big to you in comparison to the one you're thinking of selling but the bracelet has beautiful high quality sparkly diamonds to admire and you would get to admire them all the time unlike diamonds you'd put in earrings or a necklace.

I just think any diamond you would get in a RING would suffer by comparison to the one you have so if you want to sell it and still have diamonds to enjoy for what they are (and not regret them for what they are not), you may need to think outside the box.

 

[february2003bride]

Dreamer- Reading your posts, I like the idea of getting a .75-.99 carat round, turning your earrings into sidestones and getting your three stone now. It would give such good finger coverage and would go beautifully with your diamond band! To me, it's a win win, best of both worlds decision.

 

[Laila619]

Ok, so I am tweaking my tune here-

I am starting to side more in the all or nothin camp- but not entirely all.

If you are truly going to seel your 1.66 then I would think you should not just go for half but more. I would buy this stone:

http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/7288/

(I know you prefer VS2 as your sweet spot, but if this is eyeclean it can be a starter until some time passes and financially you could--if you wanted to that is--- up grade a tad for clarity and/or size ) and either put in a temp setting or go for a 3 stone setting.

With a temp setting you could take the 11,000- buy the 2,500 stone and say a 500 setting and be left with 8,000 to use to pay down debt/save for future need.

Or with the three stone setting you would spend the 2500 on the stone, and then say another 1000-1500-2000 on the forever setting and be left with 7,500-7,000-6,500 for debt and expenses- BUT you would have the three stone look you crave- finger coverage- and the center stone while a J like your PS gifted sides, also has MF which should give it a tad whiter appearance and th sides since smaller will *appear* a tad whiter anyway- possibly-

That J is gorgeous and it has medium fluor!!!

 

[minmin001]

You all make wonderful points and are very thoughtful. Thank you so much.

I have been convinced of the all or nothing camp. If I sell, I will wait to buy on the secondary market or when prices drop or some such combination. If anything I will spend only $2-$3k to get something lovely to wear. But he decision to sell or not cannot be linked to what I might replace the ring with.

Right now we are leaning to sell. The $11k we would gain would allow us to be debt free by the new year (save mortgage) and would finally allow us to get ahead of the game. That would feel better than my ring makes me feel I suspect.

And I do enjoy the hunt

Haha, I love to hunt too! never stopped hunting even with the ring on my finger~

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Yes, I can't help but think our opinions are colored by our own situations. In my case,though, I wore a 1 ct. stone for 30 years and did not get my upgrade until around the time the two older kids were finishing college. We still have one more to go, but we had the extra money at the time. I do not think we would have spent that kind of money on a diamond in the years when our kids were really young because there were always other expenses such as braces for 3 kids, adoption expenses for the last child, etc.! So in my case, I don't feel guilty about spending the money, but I do feel uncomfortable wearing it sometimes. Other times, like when I go in Tiffany's or other fine jewelers, I am taken more seriously, and that can be very nice.

I do think it is valid to not sell high and buy high. If I sold now, I'd be looking on the secondary market to get a deal on the new stone.

 

[MissGotRocks]

Lots of ideas and opinions and each one of them has its own merits. I'm just going to throw some thoughts out here:

Selling a stone bought at yesterday's diamond prices and buying another stone at today's prices - albeit smaller - doesn't make a lot of sense to me. I realize it puts money in your pocket AND a diamond on your finger but. . . I don't think you'll be happy with the smaller size. I think an AVC will show more color than the round and I think the J color has always been a sticking point.

You've looked at lots of different options over time - and I'm still not sure you know exactly what you want - even if money wasn't involved. If money was no object - within reason - what type of ring would you really like to have? A bigger stone? Better color or clarity? Keep your current stone and add sidestones? Only you know the answer to this question. Trying to buy something else to placate yourself probably isn't going to work in the long run and could be money wasted. Diamonds are not a necessity as we all know so there is always some degree of guilt associated with buying them. That's just the cold hard truth that we all have to accept. PS is a wonderful learning place but if we let it, it can turn against us. We're constantly exposed to more and different and bigger and we're all human - makes us second guess everything we have and everything we want. There is no one in my real world that thinks about diamonds the way I do. They like them, they buy some here and there, but they are not the be all end all in their world. Makes me jealous - ha!

Like some of the others, I don't see diamond prices coming down anytime soon. As long as they can be sold overseas at a good pace and at these inflated prices, I see no reason for them to drop. That, of course, is just speculation on my part as none of us has a crystal ball to predict the future. However, if you sell this stone and take the money to make yourself debt free, then you'll no doubt turn your eye back to diamonds. Again, you'd be buying something at these higher prices.

I think my advice would be to hold the stone you have and buy no other jewelry. Work hard at paying down other debt - and I know that's easier said than done. However, you seem to have managed pretty well up until this point and of course the family has to be the priority. It will be this way for many years though. There will be a period of time when both kids will be in school and daycare costs not so high. You might find yourself able to save some money in your diamond fund at that point. Next will come teenage years and then college - no extra money then! However, you are a young woman and have many years to realize your diamond dreams. Hopefully there will be raises and bonuses and perhaps even new jobs along the way - this economy has to improve at some point! You have a beautiful stone in a large size now so you're on your way. Paying down debt is a wonderful feeling but you've really got to ask yourself if you'll feel bitter about doing it in the end. If so, then you won't have accomplished anything.

I'm just playing a bit of devil's advocate here - throwing out different thoughts. I agree most with Kenny though who says do what you want - it doesn't really matter what other people think. Just think long and hard about it and do what feels right to you. Unless there was a huge drop in diamond prices, you'd always be able to get back what you paid for the stone - either in selling or trading so I don't know that's its a decision that has to be made today.

Best of luck - I'm sure there are a lot of us that struggled with our diamond obsession while raising families. It is tough and it usually takes many, many years to get where you want to be. Trading up for a couple of thousand dollars here and there every few years used to be doable but not so much now with the economy and the market. Being as debt free as we can is a mantra to live by these days but it has to be balanced with life itself too. We have to live a little bit along the way too and have a few things that we cherish. It's a slippery slope trying to find that right balance. You have a good head on your shoulders and a warm heart for your family. You'll do just fine in the long run and I wish you all the best!

 

[Miss Sparkly]

What exactly is it that draws you to your diamond - being 100% honest with yourself. Is it the price tag and the prestige? Is it the sparkle (I'm all about the sparkle )? The size? The shape? The meaning or the journey behind the diamond? If it's the first, then you will only find that with your diamond. The sparkle - there are a lot of great alternatives that give wonderful sparkle (and as a PSer who turned on diamonds they are made by people who get real salaries and benefits). If it is the meaning or the journey behind the stone do you think that is a feeling that you could ever get from another stone or is it special to this particular one? Only give up your stone because you want to, not because you feel like you have to.

 

[misssoph]

Dear Dreamer
I few thoughts from an Australian Lurker, Im not sure if relevent to you or not...
1)Where I live in Western Australia a 1.7 carat diamond would be considered very large, even though I have a professional job and live in a reasonably affluent suburb. I cant think of anyone at my workplace and only a couple of mothers at my kids school with ones that size. My Aunt has a 4 carat one but she is very wealthy.
I would love to have a 1.7 carat diamond, but in your position I could sell it and buy a smaller one that would still be much nicer than most people around me and still have several thousand to pay off debt. I would be pretty reluctant to do so though as i could not see that I would ever get another one similar.
2)It seems unlikely that diamond prices will drop anytime soon. My state is essentially a giant quarry for overseas nations like China and India. One of our big mining companies just posted a record profit and the biggest of all BHP is expected to post a doubling of last years profit this week, at 20 billion plus. They do not seem to be anticipating a reduction in demand for China and India, more a reduction in the rate of escalation in demand. Diamonds may be similar if new demand from China and India are important.
3) In your situation if I sold my 1.7 I would buy a smaller diamond now in case price further escalate to the point they are out of my reach, say a 0.70 I or J from someone with a good upgrade policy , to match the stones you have earmarked as sidestones. I would then put the unset stone away somewhere safe like the bank and concentrate on paying off the remainder of the debt. When it is time to set the stone if prices have stabilised you could always upgrade .; If prices have continued to go up up up at least you already have the components of a beautiful ring.
Very difficult decision

 

[centralsquare]

LKG makes a good point that the high prices are likely here to stay so you don't need to rush, you can see how your finances are down the road. I don't know how you feel about them but I have owned high end branded simulents as mentioned above that look quite close to diamonds but not exactly to my eyes and I felt like a total sham wearing them. I just can't do it. I would rather wear nothing or a colored stone. The main reason I love diamonds (or any natural gem) is the feel, physical properties, and luxury which comes with their ancient beginnings that is supplementary to their beauty. I can't derive that pleasure from even the closest visual approximation of a diamond.

I feel this way too. I have toyed with getting a nice sapphire or other hardy colored stone for a three stone. I think that is the most economical for me. But I do like the sparkle of a diamond!

You could hold onto the money and wait for a good deal (like your ebay find)!

 

[MonkeyPie]

As someone that sold her diamond to clear some medical bills, I say do what you feel you need to do - it's just a diamond. Yes, I said it! It isn't a necessary item that you absolutely must have. However, if you can pay off the debt in a year or two, then I see no reason to sell the diamond just to do it a little bit faster. No need to rush.

 

[CaprineSun]

As someone that sold her diamond to clear some medical bills, I say do what you feel you need to do - it's just a diamond. Yes, I said it! It isn't a necessary item that you absolutely must have. However, if you can pay off the debt in a year or two, then I see no reason to sell the diamond just to do it a little bit faster. No need to rush.

I agree with the above.

*Dust* to you for whatever decision you may choose. Neither is easy, but following your heart will be in the long run (wherever that may lead you).

 

[Dreamer_D]

I'm keeping my baaaaybeee...

Clarity.

If we are not on track to where we want to be in six months we will revisit. But for now I choose to be luxurious and keep my ring. Because I deserve it.

 

[centralsquare]

I'm keeping my baaaaybeee...

Clarity.

If we are not on track to where we want to be in six months we will revisit. But for now I choose to be luxurious and keep my ring. Because I deserve it.

 

[Dancing Fire]

I'm keeping my baaaaybeee...

Clarity.

If we are not on track to where we want to be in six months we will revisit. But for now I choose to be luxurious and keep my ring. Because I deserve it.

good for you DD!!...

 

[monarch64]

I'm keeping my baaaaybeee...

Clarity.

If we are not on track to where we want to be in six months we will revisit. But for now I choose to be luxurious and keep my ring. Because I deserve it.

I am sooooo happy to hear this, Dreamer. So happy.

 

[yssie]

I'm keeping my baaaaybeee...

Clarity.

If we are not on track to where we want to be in six months we will revisit. But for now I choose to be luxurious and keep my ring. Because I deserve it.

And you know what the best part is? I reckon you truly believe just that

 

[susimoo]

Yay!!!!